Posted on 06/24/2004 11:36:21 PM PDT by JohnHuang2
So,when we found out we were expecting another child last year,we made the decision that it just wasn't worth it for her to continue working.Now,she can take and pick up our daughter from school and is home with the baby all day.When I get home I'm greeted by my children and wife.We were really missing out on parenting during those working years.
It's also an uphill battle.For 10 years we got what we wanted and spending money was no big deal.Of course,now I'm having to pay off those debts on one income,but sooner or later they'll all be paid.I also started my own landscaping business to help with expenses.Working two jobs now kinda takes a toll on one's personal time,but in the long run is well worth the sacrifice.
Hang in there working moms.Try to get all your debts paid off and then,when you know you can make it,stay home.You only get to raise your children once.Make it the best it possibly can be.
My daughters are 10, and even after divorcing their father, they have never been in daycare. My mother and sister helped tremendously until I could get my life together again.
Before I remarried, I told my perspective husband that he should never force me to choose between them and him, because he would lose.
His reply; "That's the way it SHOULD be!"
Now I'm a stay-at-home Mom, thanks to his urging.
It's not always easy making ends meet, but the rewards are priceless!
I think she is down on women who have the choice and make the wrong one thereby neglecting their families through pursuing their own selfish, unnecessary career goals.
I disagree with what you wrote. I never listen to Dr Laura, but I was listening yesterday when a young woman called in, she was 28 weeks pregnant, and had a premature rupture of the membranes. She is now hospitalized until delivery, which could be today, or 8 weeks from now.
The lady called in to ask Dr Lauras advice about day care for her 1st child in this situation (she in hospital, her husband is working). Dr Laura ripped into her telling her she doesn't care how she works it out, she should not under any circumstances use a day care. This woman was apparently distressed, and Dr Laura told her basically if she sent her child to day care that she was a lousy mother.
I was appalled. It was the rudest call I had ever heard.
This family of 4 "gets by" on Mr. M's take home of around $1,800/mo. I might bring in $150/mo. but I'm a SAHM. House and vehicles are paid for and there are no outstanding bills. Credits cards a paid off every month (ok, maybe once every couple years I have to carry something over another month). Somehow in the last 8-10 years the neighborhood has had an influx of millionaires so our property taxes are now killing us even though we're out in the country, on a tiny lot, and in an older 3 bedroom home. We don't want me to have to get a full time job so we tighten our belts and do the best we can.
It's really not a question of what's sufficient but how you manage with what you have. The millionaires here may be in debt to their eyeballs but buying a vacation home and a new is a priority to them. Me, I'll drive my old clunker until it doesn't clunk any more so I can spend time with the kids.
If you care what I say about it, I say who cares what hypocritical Dr. Laura says. Judging from her track record on everything else, she probably had her kid in daycare at some point. I'm as conservative as anybody, but I just don't like the judgmental bag.
When I was a small child living in Germany, I had to sneak around the house and be quiet while my Dad, who worked third shift in the Air Force, slept. Daycare was better than that, when I finally was put in it.
My point is, there are trade-offs to everything. I have a little girl, who is in daycare. My wife had her at 45 years old, and tried to stay home with her, but just couldn't adjust, and was miserable. We finally "punted" on that plan, she works, the little girl is in a carefully researched daycare, and my wife is a better mom than ever. Do I worry about my daughter in daycare? Sure I do. I also worried when my wife was miserable and depressed. I'm sure we're all monsters in Dr. Laura's cookie cutter world. I'm also sure I don't care what she thinks. Everybody has to deal with the hand they are dealt, as best they can.
Anybody care to comment on the wonderful full time stay at home mom of all time: Andrea Yates? I believe my wife was headed in her direction (though far, far from her degree of illness), until I intervened and put my daughter in daycare. Now she's a wonderful mom. Reality dictates my actions, not Dr. Laura.
Many people don't realize this...but in the 1950s, most families that owned a home had a small home with 60-amp electrical service, and one car (which was frequently purchased used). The "entertainment center" in the home was a Philco or Zenith radio if you were regular folk, or a single TV if you were upscale. Books and boardgames were what you did for fun, if you had time for them.
It wasn't idyllic by any means...but it *is* what passed for prosperity in that day and time. Today, my friends consider me a Luddite because I don't have cable.
You haven't been house shopping lately, lol. $30k won't buy a dog house now days. Here (TX) a half dozen years ago vacant lots were $1000 per foot. Yep, a 100 foot wide lot back then would cost $100K so who knows what it would cost today.
Anyone who lives within 40 miles of Boston, Kerry, and Teddy are indeed crazy.
What in the hell is that post all about?
What in the hell is that post all about?
She would probably say " God Bless you for being a great Dad".
And if she doesn't say it, then I will. Bless you.
I formerly owned a Child Care Center (so that I could be home when my children came home each day) and totally agree with this article.
I'd be interested in hearing more from you if you're interested in elaborating.
Sure, 55k isn't much in Boston, but for most of the country, it's plenty. Besides, in big city markets like Boston, due to costs of living, that 55k a year job would probably pay closer to 80k.
Case in point - my husband and I just moved our family from suburban NJ (30 mi west of NYC), after living in and around the city for over 10 years, to suburban OH - 25 mi southeast of Cleveland.
To do it, he took a near 30% pay CUT (different company but pretty much the same job), and as a result, we are better off financially than we were with more money. Why? Lower taxes, lower insurance costs, hundreds of dollars a month off our mortgage etc.
Thanks for the info. I real estate is the best way to go. Whether you go into sales, appraisals, or property management, the payoff can be good, it does take hard work and devotion, like anything else.
Church? If you can find a loving church, at least you would have some back up.
How old is your daughter??
My daughter is starting kindergarten. I keep getting the "She must be behind if she didn't go to pre-school" garbage. She is reading at least at a third grade level, does some math, is well beyond "colors, etc". She was "socialized" by her siblings and the two or three girls her age on our street.
These parents will pay the price as these kids grow up.
I love Ann, but I wouldn't want her as MY mom!! : )
My seven year old had barely spoken by 2 1/2, and it was pretty frustrating. But that changed dramatically by 3. And with regard to socialization - she never went to preschool, or any school for that matter - we've homeschooled her, and she is the friendliest, most outgoing kid you'll ever meet.
All this begs the question - how social does a 2 1/2 year old need to be anyway, outside the security of his own family? Amazing how kids managed to grow up just fine before we had daycare and preschool.
Of course you know what you're doing. Just follow your heart. :)
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