Skip to comments.Kerry, Edwards Tout Hair-Based Platform
Posted on 07/07/2004 12:27:03 PM PDT by kevkrom
CLEVELAND (NNN) -- Following up previous comments where presumptive Democrat nominee John Kerry (D-MA) stated about himself and newly-chosen running mate John Edwards (D-NC), "we've got better vision, better ideas, real plans, we've got a better sense of what's happening to America and we've got better hair," Kerry and Edwards joined together to discuss their opinion that superior hair would have prevented the 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington D.C.
"George Bush has mediocre hair," began Edwards, "and Dick Cheney hardly even has hair. It's obvious that John Kerry and I hold a significant hair advantage in this race."
Kerry followed up with the central argument of the Kerry/Edwards hair-based platform. "We all know that the hair makes the man... good hair projects an image of leadership and unwavering cowering to the will of the United Nations. With that kind of leadership -- leadership obviously lacking in the Bush regime -- terrorists would never have dared strike the United States."
When reminded that good-haired Bill Clinton's administration was also a target of terrorist attacks, including attacks on US soil, Edwards replied that "while President Clinton had very nice hair, Al Gore's hair was, to put it bluntly, a total disaster."
"Fake," added Kerry. "And fake is something the Kerry/Edwards ticket knows better than anyone."
Vote for what's on top of our heads. Not for what's inside...
You jokers may have hair but give the voter a reason to vote for you.Hair won't do it.
WHAT THE FCUK ARE THEY BABBLING ABOUT?
I mean is this for real?
We are in a in a fight with terrorism and this is what these guys are offering to people.
Glad to know I brightened at least one person's day with this one... :)
What's not satire is Kerry saying today "...and we have better hair."
I heard it and couldn't believe he said it!
"we've got better vision, better ideas, real plans, we've got a better sense of what's happening to America and we've got better hair,"
I HEARD THIS SOUND BITE ON THE RADIO..UNBELIEVEABLE..WHAT A DOPE!
But we've got the better women ;-)
The original comment (the one hyperlinked in the "article" above) is real, the rest is the product of a deranged imagination.
Give me a head with hair,,,,long beautiful hair,,,,shining, streaming.....flaxen, waxen,,,
Now that Kerry cut I did hear on the snooze at the top of the hour. But the Presidents response to the reporter about Cheney? We won't hear that.
They have hair, we have the cajones.. Carry'em in a bucket big ones.
At first it was simply quoted as stated.....but then the spinning began.
Nothing can change the truth, however.
BTW... any of y'all are free to distribute this one as you see fit.
You can make fun of their hair, but I spoke to a Democrat who thinks it's a good ticket. Some people fall for looks, and they think Edwards is good-looking.
I'm undecided whether Bush can win, even though I want him to. He's coming to a university near me on Friday, and my county Republican committee said she only got 25 tickets to hand out. I wanted to go, but even the local newspaper says they don't have info as to how to get a ticket.
I read this article on Reuters today. It was written by Patricia Wilson.
Oh, good news, but I on the other post I said that it won't make the evening news. But I won't be watching, so I'll never know..... Thanks for the update.
That might be a good sign -- if tickets are that hard to come by, the event must be very popular, no?
Yes, the quote from Wilson's article (linked above) inspired me to write this piece.
NO, IMO, they haven't been distributed. Unless, they are going to local politicians. No one on the FR PA board has received one of these tickets.
I guess both Johns have been grooming for the job.
"After 9/11 - CUTE don't Cut It" =
...LAURA INGRAM, Talk Radio Network
Young TED KENNEDY in Vietnam-1965
I prefer bald men with brains.
And he'll never hear the end of it either...ROFL!!!
My 13 yr old thought it was a totally stupid comment, I guess she doesn't like his hair!
You call your local republican office and ask if there are any tickets left, I was offered some for the York rally but I would have to take off from work.
According to the local newspaper they are expection 10,000 people.
New tagline assigned about 6 minutes before reading your hilarious post.
On a serious note, would you trust a man who spends more on his hair than his wife does, or the man who goes to the barber for a $15 college cut and does no more than wash and comb it in the morning? The former needs to consider his priorities.
Thanks for the kind review... it's been a while since I had "the muse" to write a satire piece, but this one just kind of wrote itself.
The Democrat Party: From Blow Jobs to Blow Dry.
Gee, What a fabulous platform.
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