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Kerry, Edwards Tout Hair-Based Platform
No News Network (NNN) | 2004-07-07 | self

Posted on 07/07/2004 12:27:03 PM PDT by kevkrom

CLEVELAND (NNN) -- Following up previous comments where presumptive Democrat nominee John Kerry (D-MA) stated about himself and newly-chosen running mate John Edwards (D-NC), "we've got better vision, better ideas, real plans, we've got a better sense of what's happening to America and we've got better hair," Kerry and Edwards joined together to discuss their opinion that superior hair would have prevented the 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington D.C.

"George Bush has mediocre hair," began Edwards, "and Dick Cheney hardly even has hair. It's obvious that John Kerry and I hold a significant hair advantage in this race."

Kerry followed up with the central argument of the Kerry/Edwards hair-based platform. "We all know that the hair makes the man... good hair projects an image of leadership and unwavering cowering to the will of the United Nations. With that kind of leadership -- leadership obviously lacking in the Bush regime -- terrorists would never have dared strike the United States."

When reminded that good-haired Bill Clinton's administration was also a target of terrorist attacks, including attacks on US soil, Edwards replied that "while President Clinton had very nice hair, Al Gore's hair was, to put it bluntly, a total disaster."

"Fake," added Kerry. "And fake is something the Kerry/Edwards ticket knows better than anyone."


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: breckgirl; edwards; hair; kerry
(It's satire, folks...)
1 posted on 07/07/2004 12:27:05 PM PDT by kevkrom
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To: kevkrom
"we've got better vision, better ideas, real plans, we've got a better sense of what's happening to America and we've got better hair,"

Vote for what's on top of our heads. Not for what's inside...

2 posted on 07/07/2004 12:28:10 PM PDT by dirtboy (John Kerry - Hillary without the fat ankles and the FBI files...)
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To: kevkrom
"good hair projects an image of leadership and unwavering cowering to the will of the United Nations."

Bwahhahaha!

3 posted on 07/07/2004 12:30:36 PM PDT by No Blue States
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To: dirtboy

You jokers may have hair but give the voter a reason to vote for you.Hair won't do it.


4 posted on 07/07/2004 12:31:54 PM PDT by jocko12
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To: dirtboy

WHAT THE FCUK ARE THEY BABBLING ABOUT?
I mean is this for real?

We are in a in a fight with terrorism and this is what these guys are offering to people.


5 posted on 07/07/2004 12:33:45 PM PDT by snarkytart
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To: No Blue States

Glad to know I brightened at least one person's day with this one... :)


6 posted on 07/07/2004 12:34:37 PM PDT by kevkrom (Reagan lives on... as long as we stay true to his legacy)
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To: kevkrom

What's not satire is Kerry saying today "...and we have better hair."

I heard it and couldn't believe he said it!


7 posted on 07/07/2004 12:35:37 PM PDT by Peach
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To: snarkytart

"we've got better vision, better ideas, real plans, we've got a better sense of what's happening to America and we've got better hair,"

I HEARD THIS SOUND BITE ON THE RADIO..UNBELIEVEABLE..WHAT A DOPE!


8 posted on 07/07/2004 12:35:51 PM PDT by snarkytart
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To: kevkrom
we've got better hair

But we've got the better women ;-)

9 posted on 07/07/2004 12:35:56 PM PDT by Rokurota
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To: snarkytart
I mean is this for real?

The original comment (the one hyperlinked in the "article" above) is real, the rest is the product of a deranged imagination.

10 posted on 07/07/2004 12:36:10 PM PDT by kevkrom (Reagan lives on... as long as we stay true to his legacy)
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To: kevkrom
HOW DOES THE HAIR SONG GO.....

Give me a head with hair,,,,long beautiful hair,,,,shining, streaming.....flaxen, waxen,,,

11 posted on 07/07/2004 12:36:20 PM PDT by CharlotteVRWC
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To: kevkrom

Now that Kerry cut I did hear on the snooze at the top of the hour. But the Presidents response to the reporter about Cheney? We won't hear that.


12 posted on 07/07/2004 12:38:45 PM PDT by b4its2late (John Kerry Edwards changes positions more often than a Nevada prostitute!!!)
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To: b4its2late

They have hair, we have the cajones.. Carry'em in a bucket big ones.


13 posted on 07/07/2004 12:42:10 PM PDT by IamConservative (A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.)
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To: b4its2late
Oh that quote was ALL over the radio and on TV already........CHENEY COULD BE PRESIDENT.

At first it was simply quoted as stated.....but then the spinning began.

Nothing can change the truth, however.

14 posted on 07/07/2004 12:45:46 PM PDT by OldFriend (IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THANK A TEACHER.......AND SINCE IT'S IN ENGLISH, THANK A SOLDIER)
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To: All

BTW... any of y'all are free to distribute this one as you see fit.


15 posted on 07/07/2004 12:47:32 PM PDT by kevkrom (Reagan lives on... as long as we stay true to his legacy)
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To: kevkrom

You can make fun of their hair, but I spoke to a Democrat who thinks it's a good ticket. Some people fall for looks, and they think Edwards is good-looking.

I'm undecided whether Bush can win, even though I want him to. He's coming to a university near me on Friday, and my county Republican committee said she only got 25 tickets to hand out. I wanted to go, but even the local newspaper says they don't have info as to how to get a ticket.


16 posted on 07/07/2004 12:49:46 PM PDT by Dr. Scarpetta
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To: snarkytart
"...and we've got better hair" brained tax schemes.

Maybe they just cut him off. ;)
17 posted on 07/07/2004 12:49:56 PM PDT by maggief
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To: kevkrom

I read this article on Reuters today. It was written by Patricia Wilson.


18 posted on 07/07/2004 12:55:07 PM PDT by Texagirl4W (If President Bush loses the 2004 election because of his stand on abortion, he is still the winner.)
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To: OldFriend

Oh, good news, but I on the other post I said that it won't make the evening news. But I won't be watching, so I'll never know..... Thanks for the update.


19 posted on 07/07/2004 1:01:05 PM PDT by b4its2late (John Kerry Edwards changes positions more often than a Nevada prostitute!!!)
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To: kevkrom
Maybe, but the quote is real....Holy Shiite!
20 posted on 07/07/2004 1:15:01 PM PDT by j_tull ("I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.")
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To: Dr. Scarpetta
He's coming to a university near me on Friday, and my county Republican committee said she only got 25 tickets to hand out. I wanted to go, but even the local newspaper says they don't have info as to how to get a ticket.

That might be a good sign -- if tickets are that hard to come by, the event must be very popular, no?

21 posted on 07/07/2004 1:18:48 PM PDT by kevkrom (Reagan lives on... as long as we stay true to his legacy)
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To: Texagirl4W
I read this article on Reuters today. It was written by Patricia Wilson.

Yes, the quote from Wilson's article (linked above) inspired me to write this piece.

22 posted on 07/07/2004 1:19:47 PM PDT by kevkrom (Reagan lives on... as long as we stay true to his legacy)
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To: kevkrom
That might be a good sign -- if tickets are that hard to come by, the event must be very popular, no?

NO, IMO, they haven't been distributed. Unless, they are going to local politicians. No one on the FR PA board has received one of these tickets.

23 posted on 07/07/2004 1:35:27 PM PDT by Dr. Scarpetta
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To: kevkrom

I guess both Johns have been grooming for the job.


24 posted on 07/07/2004 1:36:06 PM PDT by Carry_Okie (Privatizating environmental regulation is critical to national defense.)
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To: kevkrom

.

"After 9/11 - CUTE don't Cut It" =


...LAURA INGRAM, Talk Radio Network

.


25 posted on 07/07/2004 4:18:47 PM PDT by ALOHA RONNIE (Vet-Battle of IA DRANG-1965 http://www.LZXRAY.com)
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To: Peach

.


Young TED KENNEDY in Vietnam-1965

http://www.lzxray.com/guyer_set1.htm


.


26 posted on 07/07/2004 4:23:39 PM PDT by ALOHA RONNIE (Vet-Battle of IA DRANG-1965 http://www.LZXRAY.com)
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To: kevkrom

I prefer bald men with brains.


27 posted on 07/07/2004 8:26:23 PM PDT by Milligan
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To: Peach

And he'll never hear the end of it either...ROFL!!!

My 13 yr old thought it was a totally stupid comment, I guess she doesn't like his hair!


28 posted on 07/07/2004 8:29:53 PM PDT by tutstar ( <{{--->< http://ripe4change.4-all.org Be part of the solution not part of the problem!)
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To: Dr. Scarpetta

You call your local republican office and ask if there are any tickets left, I was offered some for the York rally but I would have to take off from work.


29 posted on 07/07/2004 8:45:33 PM PDT by linn37 (Have you hugged your Phlebotomist today?)
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To: kevkrom

According to the local newspaper they are expection 10,000 people.


30 posted on 07/07/2004 8:47:35 PM PDT by linn37 (Have you hugged your Phlebotomist today?)
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To: kevkrom

New tagline assigned about 6 minutes before reading your hilarious post.


31 posted on 07/07/2004 9:12:11 PM PDT by NautiNurse ("I served in Viet Nam, and we have better hair"----John F'n Kerry campaign platform)
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To: kevkrom








"We've got better vision, better ideas, real plans, we've got a better sense of what's happening to America and we've got better hair!"


32 posted on 07/07/2004 10:52:05 PM PDT by adam_az (Call your State Republican Party office and VOLUNTEER!!!!)
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To: kevkrom; dirtboy; No Blue States; jocko12; snarkytart; Rokurota; b4its2late; IamConservative; ...

33 posted on 07/07/2004 10:59:32 PM PDT by PhilDragoo (Hitlery: das Butch von Buchenvald)
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To: No Blue States

34 posted on 07/07/2004 11:07:35 PM PDT by cartoonistx
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To: kevkrom

On a serious note, would you trust a man who spends more on his hair than his wife does, or the man who goes to the barber for a $15 college cut and does no more than wash and comb it in the morning? The former needs to consider his priorities.


35 posted on 07/07/2004 11:16:42 PM PDT by Desdemona ("He throws like a girl." - my mom's observation of John Kerry)
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To: NautiNurse

Thanks for the kind review... it's been a while since I had "the muse" to write a satire piece, but this one just kind of wrote itself.


36 posted on 07/08/2004 5:43:34 AM PDT by kevkrom (Reagan lives on... as long as we stay true to his legacy)
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To: kevkrom

The Democrat Party: From Blow Jobs to Blow Dry.


Gee, What a fabulous platform.


37 posted on 07/08/2004 5:47:37 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs (Earth First!!! Make Mars our bitch.)
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