Posted on 07/29/2004 9:33:18 PM PDT by kattracks
Would-be first daughter Alexandra Kerry revealed Thursday night that her father's habit of saving men overboard didn't end with his Swift Boat rescue of fellow Vietnam veteran Jim Rassman.In a bizarre recollection, Alexandra told the Democratic Convention crowd how the family waited dockside one summer day to embark on a trip, when the cage housing her sister's hamster "Licorice" tumbled into the drink. "My dad jumped in, grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began to administer CPR," the Kerry daughter told the audience. "There are still to this day some reports of mouth-to-mouth, but I admit it's probably a trick of memory."
Actually, the textbook definition of CPR is mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, though what techniques may be appropriate for hamster rescue is anybody's guess.
Too bad Sen. Kerry didn't have his trusty 8mm camera along to reenact his hamster heroism for posterity.
Which, I've got tell ya, is just the skill I'm looking for in a President!
Is this the guy who believes that life begins at conception, but has no qualms about abortion?
Look, my husband and I are boaters. Out of the 700 boats in our marina, I do not know of one person who takes their hamster with them on the water, "for a Sunday outing." Dogs, yes and one friend has a parrott, but no hamsters. Now come on, I just don't buy it.
For those who believe in same sex marriage, this is a handy skill to have...
Is Alexandra the film lady with the see-through dress? If so, I'd really like to give her CPR. I know she's Kerry's daughter and all, but dayum she's well built (all butterface though)...
"but I admit it's probably a trick of memory."
It must run in the family.
Thus winning him the endorsement of the Hamsters Union.
Look for him to carry New Hamster.
You just can't make up stuff like this.
Charles, that is the best laugh I have had all night. Thanks for the humor, needed that!!!
I know its a Kerry thread... but Edwards reminds me of a Hamster in a way.
WELL HE JUST CLINCHED THE GAY VOTE
For balance, a message from the Kerry campaign:
Img src="http://www.photodump.com/direct/geronl/keanigif.jpg">
He must have read "Rodential CPR: A Primer" by Richard Gere.
Lurch and his "special friend" wannabe Veep Smiley take turns sending rodent Mickey up the Hersey highway until the damn thing NEEDS a blow.
This might be an appropriate thread for your gerbil photo.
Yes they CAN!! They just DID!
"Recovered memory" perhaps?
Hamster testimonial, "Thanks to Kerry for saving my life. Now I'll be in the Olympics as a power lifter. He's my "hero".
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Here, Licorice. . . ."
John Kerry demonstrates the new flatulence venting system.
John F'in-Gerbils
Ah, the Peta bunch must have been in tears. The other day Prager had an enviro nut delegate on his show who said she would save her cat before she would save President Bush. Nice bunch of caring souls the Dems are.
Thats odd because Barney Franks family has a story like this too. Seems Barney revived a hamster with hypothermia by jamming........oh never mind . You know where this joke goes.
She failed to mention that for the next outing Kerry had secured little tiny water wings for the hapless hamster.
You know...he'll have to be tested for performance-enhancing drugs. Just 'cause he's a rodent, don't think that he'll be treated any differently.
(Commissioner is handed five thousand dollars in hush money.)
Alright, his story checks out. IT'S OFF TO ATHENS FOR YOU BOY!
Hamsters are rodents, as are RATS...hey, you've got to have diversity!!;)
. . . . . . . . . . . "Did somebody mention hamsters?"
And I'm not talking about that phony type of insanity feigned by Howard Dean in order to appeal to the Democrat's core constituency.
I'm talking, "her mind has left the building" insanity.
You gave me an asthma attack, I laughed so hard..
They are trying to show that Kerry has a warm human side--you know, the same guy who didn't want to ban partial birth abortion.
Hamsters to waiter, We're with the Kerry group. Nothing but 5 star treatment
This is a very important issue for all of the registered voting hamsters this coming November. Perhaps even to likely voting hamsters and to undecideds.
Honest mistake.
Barney Frank:
HOMOPHOBE!!! I'm going to tell that homosexual brothel owner-who just by coincidence happens to operate his illegal male prostitution ring outside of my house-what you wrote. HOMOPHOBE!
Somewhere I read that Kerry DID vote to ban partial-birth abortion for HAMSTERS.
No hamster in his right mind would be caught in the same room with Barney boy.
Don't apologize, whatever you do! ; )
Ya know, when your kid's pet is dying and your kid's heart is breaking, there's not much you won't do...
You should see the elaborate coffins that my daughter's gerbils are buried in. hehehe
What that was, was merely someone going through the motions for the sake of their children. Nothing more, nothing less.
What concerns me more is the fact that this girl, now an adult, still believes he was actually trying to do so.
Weird.
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