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* Welcome to the DNC 2004 Awards Show! * Freepers Choice Awards Galore
2 August 2004 | CounterCounterCulture

Posted on 08/02/2004 6:40:41 PM PDT by CounterCounterCulture

Teresa Heinz Kerry
Welcome to the DNC 2004 Awards Show!
"I'm opinionated and off my meds, so you can Shove it!"

Rudy Giuliani Back by popular demand (OK, maybe I'm projecting), is the DNC 2004 Awards Show! You’ve watched the convention, now vote for your favorite moments. This is truly a Freepers Choice Award Show. 40 awards total to be doled out. Who annoyed you the most? Who wouldn’t leave the stage? What were the worst quotes? The most overused clichés? Who caused you to use the most barf bags?

Well, sit right back and check out the nominees and relive the experience…

*** 2000 Awards flashback ***

"These people are freakin nuts"

1. Biggest Mouth (Male)
    • Bill Clinton
    • Elijah Cummings
    • Howard Dean
    • Barney Frank
    • James Hoffa
    • Jesse Jackson
    • Robert Kennedy Jr.
    • Ted Kennedy
    • Patrick Leahy
    • John Lewis
    • Terry McAuliffe
    • Kweisi Mfume
    • Michael Moore
    • Carl Levine
    • Charles Schumer
    • Al Sharpton
2. Biggest Mouth (Female/Other)
    • Barbara Boxer
    • Hillary Clinton
    • Rosa DeLauro
    • Dianne Feinstein
    • Janeane Garofalo
    • Teresa Heinz Kerry
    • Carolyn McCarthy
    • Barbara Mikulski
3. Biggest racist
    • Corinne Brown
    • Robert Byrd
    • Elijah Cummings
    • Jesse Jackson
    • Bill Lann Lee
    • John Lewis
    • Kweisi Mfume
    • Al Sharpton
    • Raul Yzaguirre (La Raza)
4. Best speech in a foreign language
    • Ted Kennedy
    • Teresa Heinz Kerry
    • Jesse Jackson
    • Corinne "Ebonics" Brown
    • John Lewis
5. Biggest Wuss
    • Ben Affleck
    • Bono
    • Steve Brozak
    • Martin O'Malley
    • Ron Reagan
6. Dumbest Chant
    • Cae-sar Cha-vez
    • Hope Is On The Way
    • Keep Hope Alive
    • Let It Begin HERE (Edward Markey)
    • Peace Now
7. Dumbest Signs
    • We Love Teresa!
    • The Real Deal
    • Hope Is On The Way
    • Give Bush A Pink Slip
    • A Stronger America
    • We Can Do It (with Nancy Pelosi's face over Rosie the Riveter's)
    • Florida - We Shall Overcome
    • Pro Kerry - Pro Edwards - Pro Choice
    • Red blank sign b/s blue blank sign (Texas delegates wanting to turn it from a red state to a blue state
8. Most tired cliché (classic)
    • A woman's place is in the House
    • Affordable health care
    • Diversity/diverse
    • Health care is a right
    • Inclusive/inclusion
    • Keep hope alive
    • Tax breaks for the wealthy
    • Patients bill of rights
    • Right to "choose"
    • Working class
    • Working families
9. Most tired cliché (2004)
    • count every vote
    • outsourcing
    • unilateral
    • weapons of mass destruction
10. Most overused/misused word
    • Child/children
    • Choice
    • Families
    • Values
11. Biggest Barf Bag Moment
    • Bill Clinton's entire speech
    • John Kerry's entire speech
    • John Kerry rescues his daughter's hamster
    • Terry McAuliffe trying to introduce Bill Richardson en español
    • Planned Parenthood and NARAL representatives
    • Stem cell b.s.
    • "Stolen election" b.s.
12. Ugly on Ugly (Male)
    • Bill Clinton
    • Dick Gephardt
    • Ted Kennedy
    • Patrick Leahy
    • Michael Moore
    • John Sweeney
13. Ugly on Ugly (Female/Other)
    • Roberta Achtenberg
    • Hillary Clinton
    • Rosa DeLauro
    • Shirley Franklin (Atlanta Mayor)
    • Alice Germond (DNC Secretary)
    • Teresa Heinz Kerry
    • Patty Judge (Iowa Sec of Agriculture)
    • Mary (of Peter, Paul & Mary)
    • Carolyn McCarthy
    • Barbara Mikulski
    • Janet Napolitano
    • Lottie Shackelford
    • Ellen Tauscher
14. Entrance/exit music
    • Madeleine Albright: Got To Be Real (house band version)
    • Jimmy Carter: Georgia On My Mind (house band version)
    • Bill Clinton: Don't Stop (Fleetwood Mac)
    • Hillary Rodham Clinton: New York State of Mind (house band version)
    • Tom Daschle: Mr. Big Stuff (house band version)
    • Howard Dean: We Are Family (Sister Sledge) [exit music]
    • Cate Edwards: Let's Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas)
    • Elizabeth Edwards: She's Not Just a Pretty Face (Shania Twain)
    • John Edwards (and others): Higher & Higher (house band version)
    • John Edwards: Sir Duke (Stevie Wonder) [exit music]
    • Al Gore: Tennessee Waltz (house band version)
    • Teresa Heinz Kerry: Simply The Best (Tina Turner)
    • Teresa Heinz Kerry: Shout (house band version) [exit music]
    • Ted Kennedy: Clocks (Coldplay)
    • Dennis Kucinich: Power To The People
    • Ed Rendell: Mr. Big Stuff (house band version)
    • various: Wipe Out (house band version)
15. Biggest Butchering of the National Anthem
    • Robyn Chavez (Miss Teen New Mexico) [Day 1 early]
    • BeBe Winans [Day 1 primetime]
    • Michael Enis & Alicia Chiles (in traditional Tohono O'odham language) [Day 2 primetime]
    • Brian McKnight [Day 3 primetime]
16 Biggest Exploitation
    • 9/11
    • firefighters
    • Ron Regan using embryonic stem cell research on the memory of President Reagan
    • Vietnam vets
17. Boooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiing!
    • dead air
    • Roll call of the states
    • Teresa Heinz Kerry's sloooooooow speech
    • John Kerry's speech
18. Shut Up And Get Off The Stage Already
    • Bill Clinton
    • Elijah Cummings
    • Teresa Heinz Kerry
    • John Kerry
    • Jesse Jackson
    • Kweisi Mfume
    • Al Sharpton
19. Worst Kennedy
    • Lt. Col. Claudia Kennedy
    • Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.
    • Teddy Kennedy
20. The “I didn’t know he/she was still alive” Abe Vigoda Award
    • Peter, Paul &/or Mary
    • Goerge McGovern
21. Kneepad Liberal (in Media)
      Didn't watch much of anything beyond C-SPAN, so you fill in the blanks here
22. Biggest Lie
      There isn't enough bandwidth for this category. Sorry.
23. Kneepad Liberal Network
    • ABC
    • CBS
    • CNN
    • MSNBC
    • NBC
    • PBS
    • Air America
    • NPR
24. Kneepad Liberal (in show business)
    • Ben Affleck
    • Glenn Close
    • Janeane Garofalo
    • Michael Moore
    • Rob Reiner
25. Biggest Targets
    • Big business
    • Big Oil
    • Bush
    • Cheney
    • Embryos
    • Enron
    • Halliburton
    • The wealthy
26. Hutzpah Award
    • Honoring firefighters
    • Honoring Vietnam vets
    • All the liars and racists falsely accusing the Republicans of the same
    • Complaining about us wearing religion on our sleeve while frequently praising God in most speeches
27. Surprise of the convention
    • John Kerry served in Vietnam. Didja know that?
    • John Kerry rescued and gave CPR/mouth-to-mouth on his girl's pet hamster.

28. John Kerry quote of the convention
    • "I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty!"
    • "Now, I'm not one to read into things, but guess which wing of the hospital the maternity ward was in? I'm not kidding. I was born in the West Wing!"
    • "And we will end the backdoor draft of National Guard and reservists.''
    • "America can do better. And help is on the way."
    • "What does it mean when 25% of our children in Harlem have asthma because of (h)air pollution?"
    • "I want to address these next words directly to President George W. Bush: In the weeks ahead, let's be optimists, not just opponents. Let's build unity in the American family, not angry division. Let's honor this nation's diversity; let's respect one another; and let's never misuse for political purposes the most precious document in American history, the Constitution of the United States."
29. Al "Tawana Brawley" Sharpton quote of the convention
    • "We didn't get the mule. So we decided we'd ride this donkey as far as it would take us."
    • "It is frightening to think that the gains of civil and women rights and those movements in the last century could be reversed if this administration is in the White House in these next four years."
    • "I suggest to you tonight that if George Bush had selected the court in '54, Clarence Thomas would have never got to law school."
    • "The promise of America guarantees health care for all of its citizens and doesn't force seniors to travel to Canada to buy prescription drugs they can't afford here at home."
    • "No one gave them an English test before they sent them to Iraq to fight for America."
    • "We got the Civil Rights Act under a Democrat. We got the Voting Rights Act under a Democrat."
    • "Mr. President, read my lips: Our vote is not for sale."
30. Jesse Hi-Jackson quote of the convention
    • "In the darkness of 2000, the winners lost and the losers won. Jewish voters in West Palm Beach, immigrants stopped at the polls, a million black votes cast but not counted. This must never, ever happen again."
    • "They ignored the genocide in the Sudan, and induced coup in Haiti."
    • "The president speaks of leaving no child behind, but leaves 2 million children behind to protect the tax cuts for the top one percent."
    • "Every child, red, yellow, brown, black and white, deserves a constitutional right to an equal, high-quality public education."
    • "In the dark, a president chooses tax cuts for millionaires, but job cuts for steelworkers, firefighters and police. The president talks of homeland security, but wants to let AK-47s and Uzis back on the street."
    • "But a new day is dawning, a new America is turning pain to power because beyond the extreme right wing is a beautiful rainbow of all of God's children. Out of the darkness of the bushes, we see the soaring of an authentic American eagle on the horizon."
    • "But John Edwards understands using wallpaper for a windbreaker, not for decoration. He understands peanut-butter sandwiches and Kool-Aid. He understands grits and gravy. He understands the (unintelligible). He understands you and me."
    • "Keep hope alive. Keep hope alive. Keep hope alive."
31. Clinton quote of the convention
    • Bill Clinton: "Republicans believe in an America run by the right people, their people, in a world in which we act unilaterally when we can, and cooperate when we have to. They think the role of government is to concentrate wealth and power in the hands of those who embrace their political, economic, and social views, leaving ordinary citizens to fend for themselves on matters like health care and retirement security. Since most Americans are not that far to the right, they have to portray us Democrats as unacceptable, lacking in strength and values. In other words, they need a divided America. "
    • Bill Clinton: " When I was in office, the Republicans were pretty mean to me. When I left and made money, I became part of the most important group in the world to them. At first I thought I should send them a thank you note—until I realized they were sending you the bill."
    • Bill Clinton: "If you think it’s good policy to pay for my tax cut with the Social Security checks of working men and women, and borrowed money from China, vote for them. If not, John Kerry’s your man."
    • Bill Clinton: "…John Kerry said, 'send me.'"
    • Hillary Rodham Clinton: "I know a thing or two about health care."
    • Hillary Rodham Clinton: "He (Bill Clinton) still spends his days working to empower the powerless, promote racial, religious, and ethnic reconciliation, inspire young people to citizen service, and bring life saving medicines to people living with HIV/AIDS around the world."
32. PeanutHead Carter quote of the convention
    • "My name is Jimmy Carter, and I’m not running for president"
    • "…we need new leaders in Washington whose policies are shaped by working American families instead of the super-rich and their armies of lobbyists."
    • "Let us not forget that the Soviets lost the Cold War because the American people combined the exercise of power with adherence to basic principles, based on sustained bipartisan support."
    • "The achievements of Camp David a quarter century ago and the more recent progress made by President Bill Clinton are now in peril."
    • "You can’t be a war president one day and claim to be a peace president the next, depending on the latest political polls."

33. Algore quote of the convention
    • "I didn't come here tonight to talk about the past. After all, I don't want you to think I lie awake at night counting and recounting sheep."
    • "America is a land of opportunity, where every little boy and girl has a chance to grow up and win the popular vote."
    • "I know about the bad economy. I was the first one laid off."
    • "…exposing the threat of ecoterro----uh … narcoterrorism and tracing the sources of terrorist financing."

34. Other quotes of the convention (female)
    • Madeleine Albright: "…Our nominee has never ducked from a fight or gone missing in battle or left a buddy behind."
    • Tammy Baldwin: "But in order to satisfy the far-right wing of his party, our current president is holding these stem cells - and all that they promise hostage."
    • Rosa DeLauro: "Why was our country pursuing a foreign policy that leaves America isolated and less safe?"
    • Elizabeth Edwards: "You know, I married the smartest, toughest, sweetest man I know. And in two days, we will celebrate 27 years of marriage... the way we always do. We'll do it the way we always do at Wendy's."
    • Teresa Heinz Kerry: "Shove it!" *
    • Nancy Pelosi: "Democrats do not exploit fear to divide and distract the nation."
    • Stephanie Tubbs-Jones: "We are tired of seeing our hard-earned tax dollars go to haves and have-mores, while the must-haves, could-haves, should-haves, maybes and have-nots have not at all."
    • Ilana Wexler: "when our vice president had a disagreement with a democratic senator, he used a really bad word…If I said that word, I would be put in a time out. I think he should be put in a time out."

      * technically the night before the convention, but hey, she can shove it :-)

35. Other quotes of the convention (male)
    • Some black preacherman: "I want to get that cowboy out of the White House"
    • John Edwards: "It doesn't have to be that way." (ad nauseum)
    • John Edwards: "Not in our America."
    • Barney Frank: "We who are gay lesbian bisexual trangendered, we do have an agenda…"
    • Dick Gephardt: "At a time of global terror, John Kerry will take on the terrorists where they live, before they can threaten us where we live."
    • Bob Graham: "Osama bin forgotten"
    • Ted Kennedy: "Sub-sbub-suburb"
    • Ted Kennedy: "Today, we say the only thing we have to fear is four more years of George Bush."
    • Dennis Kucinich: " I was mayor of Cleveland and I could tell you that I've seen weapons of mass destruction in our cities. Poverty is a weapon of mass destruction. Joblessness is a weapon of mass destruction, homelessness, a weapon of mass destruction. Racism, a weapon of mass destruction, fear, a weapon of mass destruction. We must disarm these weapons."
    • Joe Lieberman: "That was a heck of a campaign in 2000, wasn't it? And when it was all over. Al and I won, didn't we?"
    • Kweisi Mfume: "…and union bashing deplete(s) us as a nation…"
    • Michael Moore: "The right wing is not where America is at…Most Americans, in their heart, are liberal and progressive. It's just a small minority of people who hate. They hate. They exist in the politics of hate…They're not patriots…They're hate-triots, and they believe in the politics of hate-triotism. Hate-triotism is where they stand, and patriotism is where real Americans stand."
    • Michael Moore: "I mean, they are up at six in the morning trying to figure out which minority group they're going to screw today…The hate, they eat for breakfast. They are going to fight and they are going to smear, and they are going to lie, and they are going to hate."
    • Ron Reagan: "Let me assure you, I am not here to make a political speech and the topic at hand should not — must not — have anything to do with partisanship."
    • Ron Reagan: "Maybe this is a good time to go for a tall cold one. Well, wait a minute, wait a minute."
    • Mark Warner: "Virginia has been wandering in the Republican desert for 40 years."
36. Most unabashed display of egomania
    • Clinton's speech
    • Kerry's "heroics" in Vietnam and back home
    • Ron Reagan in the spotlight
37. Biggest Applause Line
    • Every time Bush was bashed
    • Paul Wellstone in memorial
    • John Kerry enters for his acceptance speech
    • Bill Clinton enters for his speech
    • Hillary Clinton enters for her speech
    • Al Sharpton didn't get his 40 acres and a mule, be he gonna ride that donkey

38. Most truthful moment
    • Brit Hume on Teresa Heinz Kerry's speech: The was a most unusual speech
    • Shep Smith sticking his finger down his throat
    • Chris Wallace on Teresa Heinz Kerry: Don't cry for me Argentina
    • Al Gore starts to say "ecoterrorism" instead of "narcoterrorism"
    • Democrats leaving the American flags on the convention floor when they were finished with them
    • Red (-clad) Chinese perform
39. What was missing most from this convention?
    • Cohesive themes from speaker to speaker
    • Good house band
    • Good speakers
    • Gravitas
    • Integrity
    • Intelligence
    • Lyndon LaRouche (again)
    • Moderates
    • The truth

Feel free to add any write-in votes

TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: awards; clinton; democrats; divisiveness; dncconvention; edwards; hate; heinz; hillary; insanity; jackson; kerry; kucinich; lunacy; mfume; nobounce; racism; sharpton
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1 posted on 08/02/2004 6:40:47 PM PDT by CounterCounterCulture
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What was the most memorable image from this convention?

Kerry at NASA 1.

The Dukakis moment

Kerry and Dukakis parodied 2.

and to prove that point…

Flip Flop 3.

And more from our side

Dick Gephardt angry 4.


Elijiah Cummings angry 5.



Lovebirds of hate


Last one to conquer America is a rotten egg. ¿Qué ? Allah Akbar!

Edwards is Hot 8.

If only these were brains.

John Edwards swinging his daughter 9.

Practicing for the dwarf-throwing contest

FrankenHillary 10.

FrankenHillary. Genitalia not required.

Bill and Hillary Dolls 11.

Again genitalia not required. View #2

Kerry Salute 12.

John F'n Kerry reporting for duty, comrade Ho Chi Minh.

Kerry Sweats 13.

Never let 'em see you sweat.

Kerry kisses Teresa 14.

Suck it up, Tahhhhrehhhsa. We've got to outdo the Gores.

Ted Kennedy conducting 15.

Happy hour is 24 hours in Camelot

*** Click on any image to enlarge photograph ***
2 posted on 08/02/2004 6:41:31 PM PDT by CounterCounterCulture (There you go again)
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To: CounterCounterCulture

bump for the uglies

3 posted on 08/02/2004 6:44:18 PM PDT by prophetic
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To: CounterCounterCulture

WHY am I not seeing the most famous quote of all??

"What the f*** are you guys DOING up there???"
-Don Mischer, Balloon Drop Guy

4 posted on 08/02/2004 6:48:20 PM PDT by dandelion
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To: CounterCounterCulture

TWO forked tongues entwine.

"You lick my ear again you old fraud and I'll rip out your implants." (could go either way!)

5 posted on 08/02/2004 6:49:26 PM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: dandelion

I was afraid somebody would bring that up ;-)

As I said, write-ins are more than welcome. :-)

6 posted on 08/02/2004 6:49:57 PM PDT by CounterCounterCulture (There you go again)
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To: tet68
Robert Byrd: "You ain't a white n***** are ya?"
Hillary!: "You ain't a f****** Jew b******, are ya?"
7 posted on 08/02/2004 6:51:46 PM PDT by CounterCounterCulture (There you go again)
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To: CounterCounterCulture

WHY am I not seeing the most famous quote of all??

"What the f*** are you guys DOING up there???"
-Don Mischer, Balloon Drop Guy

8 posted on 08/02/2004 6:52:57 PM PDT by dandelion
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To: dandelion

Sorry - doublepostitis...

9 posted on 08/02/2004 6:54:25 PM PDT by dandelion
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To: dd5339; timpad; Vic3O3

He hehehehe he...

10 posted on 08/02/2004 6:55:17 PM PDT by cavtrooper21 (CQB is a very polite way of describing a gunfight at knife-fighting range.......)
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To: CounterCounterCulture

Look at how far back Ta-ray-zah is leaning as Kerry tries to kiss her. The body language does not lie. She truly finds him repulsive.

11 posted on 08/02/2004 6:58:08 PM PDT by AQGeiger (Have you hugged your soldier today?)
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To: seams2me; hole_n_one; alley cat; carmody; Irma; bigsigh; Hillary's Lovely Legs; abner; Mark7975; ...

Bump to 2000 convention awards participants and others who expressed interest.

12 posted on 08/02/2004 7:02:17 PM PDT by CounterCounterCulture (Anagram of my screenname: TRUE UNCLE TRUER COCONUT)
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To: CounterCounterCulture

What about the F*****un balloons?....Still say they were filled with helium.

13 posted on 08/02/2004 7:04:02 PM PDT by hoosiermama (prayers for all)
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To: nutmeg; bootless; vikingchick


14 posted on 08/02/2004 7:05:20 PM PDT by CounterCounterCulture (Anagram of my screenname: TRUE UNCLE TRUER COCONUT)
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To: CounterCounterCulture

Licorice: "My choice is the picture of Richard Dreyfuss
acting like a hiding prowling shark at the Democratic National Convention
I kept getting afraid as my rodent brain hummed the theme from his movie
and I got a major rodent-stress-recall-reaction of being pushed off of Kerry's boat long ago
by U don't know who for Kerry's hamster photo-op. Sheeeeeesh.

15 posted on 08/02/2004 7:07:21 PM PDT by Diogenesis (Re: Protection from up on high, Keyser Sose has nothing on Sandy Berger, the DNC Burglar)
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To: CounterCounterCulture

# 4: "Gephardt SMASH!"

# 7: "John Kerry gave me this outfit!"

# 10: "Why, Mr. Franklin-you positively make me blush..."

16 posted on 08/02/2004 7:27:03 PM PDT by WestVirginiaRebel (Democrats are Communists in Americans' clothing.)
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To: CounterCounterCulture


17 posted on 08/02/2004 7:28:18 PM PDT by hole_n_one
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To: CounterCounterCulture


18 posted on 08/02/2004 7:35:39 PM PDT by mathluv (Protect my grandchildren's future. Vote for Bush/Cheney '04.)
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To: CounterCounterCulture
Here are my first 20 picks!

1. Biggest mouth (male): Although I liked his style, the award goes to Barak Obama
2. Biggest mouth (fenale): teRAHza Heinz Kerry

3. Biggest racist: Sweet Corine Brown

4. Best speech in a foreign langage: teRAHza Heinz Kerry- I still have no idea WHAT language she was speaking.

5. Biggest Wuss: Ron Reagan Jr. Tickle Me Elmo could kick his can.

6. Dunbest chant: anything teRAHza Heinz Kerry said because I thought she was chanting at one point.

7. Dumbest sign: The Real Deal. How dumb can you get?

8. Most tired cliche (classic): Tax cuts for the wealthy

9. Mist tired cliche (2004): teRAHza Heinz Kerry

10. Most overused/misused word: women

11.Biggest barf bag moment: Michael Moore. OH! You meant and event... Yeah... Michael Moore sitting in Kerry's box.

12. Ugly on ugly (male): teRAHza Heinz Kerry

13. Ugly on ugly (female): teRAHza Heinz Kerry

14. Entrance/exit music: teRAHza Heinz Kerry- how dare they defile Tina's song.

15. Biggest butchering of the Nat'l Anthem: all of them because they know not what it really means.

16. Biggest exploitation: Ron Reagan Jr., hands down.

17. BBoooooorrrrrriiiiiinnnnngggg: Ttthhhaaaaatttt wwwooouullldddd beeeeee... teeeeRAHHHHzaaa Heinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Keeeeerrrrryyyyy

18. Shut up and get off the stage already: see #17

19. Worst Kennedy: Teddy 'the kareoke champ' Kennedy

20. The “I didn’t know he/she was still alive” Abe Vigoda Award: Robert KKK Byrd, pretty, pretty, pretty

19 posted on 08/02/2004 7:49:40 PM PDT by rintense (Results matter.)
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To: CounterCounterCulture

Sorry, I’m so stupid, but how, oh how do I vote?

20 posted on 08/02/2004 7:54:50 PM PDT by dix (Remember the Alamo, and God bless Texas)
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