Posted on 08/29/2004 4:44:09 AM PDT by stockpirate
To: stockpirate I am not sure this is the proper place to put this...but here goes... To All The Vets of Viet Nam,
I was born in 1955, a baby boomer...into an alcoholic and abusive family. I was 14 years old when Woodstock rocked this nation. I remember standing in front of a 12" black and white set watching it unfold on the 6 o'clock news. I also remember my father using the term..".long haired hippie pukes" and being totally disgusted with the whole mess. Being 14 with a father who like to use his fists..I naturally rejected anything he said as any kind of truth. He had lost my affection and my trust many years ago. My father also told the story of being wounded in the Korean war...he even had a scar to prove it. I later found out when I got older, that he had spent the entire war in England..so much for his credibilty.
My mother thought it would be good to alert me at that tender age of 14 about the drug scene that was waiting to prey upon me. She handed me a bunch of Life magazines with an expose of the underground culture of drugs. Living in a small town in Central NY..this was definitely a foreign concept. I was mesmerized by the pictures of hippies and the freedom they appeared to have. Oh how I longed to have a place in this world where I could breathe without fear of being hit. I was ripe for the picking.Within 6 months I found myself hobknobbing with drug dealers and the like.
The next couple of years I was entrenched in the drug scene..my friends were of like thinking..we had all bought into the Love, Peace, Free Sex and drugs doctrine being perpetuated on the youth of this nation. I became a sympathizer of the likes of Abby Hoffman and Jerry Rubin. Their books became gospel for me....I devoured the book.."Soul on Ice" by Eldredge Cleaver. I hated the Viet Nam war...not because of it's political significance...but the idea of war and chaos in general. I had seen too much of that as I was growing up...I longed for peace in my soul. I drank and drugged to relieve some of the inner pain.
I bought into anything that my father hated....and hated anything he bought into. My father was a veteran and stood by the President..even though he was a democrat.....He stood by his brothers in arms. So it was natural for me to take the opposing view. I hated war. Our little town had 3 casualties in the Viet Nam war..two of whom rode on my school bus....they were older than me but each had made a distinct impression on me as I rode the bus....I remember Joe who used to make the sound of a cricket as he ran his fingers along the roof of the bus...he was so tall!!..and Ron was the cute older brther of my sister's friend. Both gone, both dead and for what purpose? My teenaged brain couldn't comprehend the whole idea of death and war.
In 1975, I was 20 years old...a survivor of years of self abuse through my reckless lifestyle..and now a mother of two children. I sat in front of another TV and watched as they were airlifting people out of Saigon. A plane full of refugees were taking off when the plane, carrying children, crashed on takeoff. I sat in front of the TV set and cried...sobs coming from somewhere so deep inside of me....I realised as I was sitting there...that this was the first time I had ever cried for anyone else but myself. My heart was starting to unthaw from years of guarding it.
When the war ended I didn't abuse the vets who had served bravely for my country, no my attitude was worse than any abuse bestowed on them...mine was one of indifference, one of apathy, a "so what and who cares attitude." I never spoke a word that brought shame to a vet, but my heart was full of hatred for anyone who would willingly go and make war.
On Memorial Day, my father would put on his legion uniform and march in the parade and shoot his gun off at the village green in remembrance of those fallen. I watched with a mocking spirit within me. It was a big deal to him (dad) when he became post commander..all I could see was another opportunity for him to drink. I saw him as a hypocrit..a man who espoused peace and freedom ...who oppressed his family with violence and bondage.
But something happened to me over the years...an ideological change, a paradigm shift of thought. I woke up in the mid 1990's and I found myself with the same ideals my father had about his country. I fell in love with where I live and what it stands for. Maybe it was watching my children growing up and wanting better for them or Maybe it was watching CNN during the first Gulf war knowing my brother was in a tank somewhere inside Iraq... or maybe it was the day I sent my youngest son off to the Marines for safe keeping. Maybe it was coming to have faith in Christ. But something definitely changed within me. Maybe it was turning off the TV for a moment and allowing God to speak to me without all the static.
I joined Free Republic over a year ago at the request of a friend. And today I watched a video clip of the VVAW throwing their medals. I must have watched it 6 times. It was this clip that prompted me to write this piece. After so many years I wonder if it would really make any difference to the men and women who served our country by going to Viet nam, if I were to say.. from the bottom of my heart...that I AM SO SORRY for not giving you the Honor you so richly deserve. I am sorry for the indifference I showed you when you returned...of turning my eyes and closing my ears.. when I heard a derogatory remark aimed at you. Would it make a difference if I told you that I am proud of the service you gave to us on behalf of our freedom..that I appreciate your sacrifices and the blood shed for the freedom we all share today. It is 30 years late but I couldn't let another day pass with writing these thoughts down.Please Forgive Me.....
ping
Welcome back to the fold. You have freepmail.
bump
Please keep in mind eveyone that I didn't write this it was sent to me by a fellow Freeper as a post.
But something happened to me over the years...an ideological change, a paradigm shift of thought.
After so many years I wonder if it would really make any difference to the men and women who served our country by going to Viet nam, if I were to say.. from the bottom of my heart...that I AM SO SORRY for not giving you the Honor you so richly deserve. I am sorry for the indifference I showed you when you returned...of turning my eyes and closing my ears.. when I heard a derogatory remark aimed at you. Would it make a difference if I told you that I am proud of the service you gave to us on behalf of our freedom..that I appreciate your sacrifices and the blood shed for the freedom we all share today.
As a veteran of Vietnam, Desert Storm and many conflicts in between your post brought tears to my eyes this morning. Thank you...
Kerry on the other hand, lived off the tumult, prospered from it, and grew it.
Your writing is wonderful and you are well into a good life now. Kerry, on the other hand, must live in a lifelong ugly dread for his self-promoting misdeeds.
Damn him, and God bless you.
Bless your beautifully written words!
Thom
Welcome home.
I was. A well written report. Thanks for writing it. The Nam vets are definately getting their "thanks" now...it's just too bad it's taken so long for so many of us to "grow up". It's also too bad that there are so many baby boomers who still don't get it.
As a proud parent it is very rewarding when the child matures and understands.
Beautifully written.
Bttt
I was born in 1962 and I used to believe that the TV News told us the truth. Until recently I believed that the Media was now full of liars, but that during my formative years they were more honest.
Now, I am sure that the Media was full of liars all along, and I hate them for it. Everything I used to believe was true is now suspect. I am having to relearn much of what I thought I already knew.
I suspect that many Americans are in the same boat. I applaud the SwiftVets for telling the truth, I hope they find inner peace.
bttt
This letter was written by a much bigger person than a Massachusetts Politician.
Yes it was.
So you made the transition a little sooner than others, how lucky for you. Some I would think grew up in homes that were very liberal at the time.
Some for whatever reason believed the MSM.
This is why I am so grateful to the SwiftBoat Vets. It's time for this nation to step forward and say "We're so sorry". I used to have a friend who was into the protests. I asked her if she realized what happened as a result of those protests, if she understood the number of people who died because we pulled out, if she knew of the lives that were ruined by good men and women who came home to hatred or indifference. She did't care. That's why I say I HAD a friend.
I know this is meant for the vets, but as a daughter of a vet this means alot to me and perhaps other children of Vietnam Vets.
I ended up crying after reading this. I feel hopeful that maybe finally our vets will get the honor, respect and gratitude they so deserve.
They've never stopped to think of the people they've hurt. They've never stopped to consider what it must have been like to have been a soldier in Vietnam, so young, working so hard, only to have your youth and your idealism stolen from you.
And now? Now we are finally seeing the truth. Now we know that what they said was a lie. Now we are welcoming not only our veterans, but all decent people, home.
That being said, I now know that what started as a concept to contain communism ended as a political exercice. Endless lives were lost for a political experience and exercise. I don't fault those who fought honestly, and I never did, and most of those in command leadership.
That being said, we know that some of the things Kerry testified to took place. How much and how often will never be known. Same for the war we are currently engaged. Had those photos never been released, we would have happily gone on our way believing that "Amrerican values" were being used at every level and in every case. We would have gone on believing that the troop levels were adequate for the resistance that was experienced.
Since I never served in the military, I will probably never understand the "code" that these people experience. But even that "code" often extends too far. Just as within police forces, many horrible wrongs are never brought to the light of day because of the "code". Many political wrongs are never brought to the light of day because of the "code". Even during the Clinton administration, the "code" kept many of his misdeeds from being seen until legal actions were taken.
My feeling is even if Kerry's testimony was spot on in '71, the Swift Boat folks would have come forward to slay him, because of the "code". Frankly, I don't know if how close to being accurate or far from being the truth it was.
A tip of my hat goes out to those Viet vets who truly served honorably. Same for the men and women now engaged in trying to contain a horrible situation in Iraq. And to all who have served, thank you.
But don't let the "code" be the be all, do all.
Thanks!! You have friends here.
You make an interesting point about draft cards. A friend of mine says that a Taxocrat comes into where she works and tells her that if Bush gets reelected Bush will start the draft back up
Even though it is the Taxocrats that want to reopen the draft.
Thank you for your kind words, Vietnam Vets are grateful... I can not speak for other Vietnam Vets, but I can speak for myself, your forgiven.
Born '48, enlisted as a 'John Wayne' type at 17 in '65, discovered and listened to many political people of all races during those years, discovered drugs, fried my mind, discharged in late '67 (early out from Korea), continued frying my mind, tried the SDS route ... way too radical, stayed a 'love hippy' type, (until) I got saved in '81, married in '83, three kids and an entirely stable and patriotic mindset and world view later ... here I am.
Never condemned vets because I was one and I knew a lot from listening to guys that had been in country, I wanted to have a 'correct' position politically.
God Bless you, FREEPER.
I'm a '55er too, and with you 1000%. I am planning an open letter to VietNam Vets to apologize and admit my stupidity at the time.
If she wants to turn the poison of her youth into the medicine of her maturity and really make her words meaningful, she needs to share her experience with other LEFTIES that she knows. Many of them are ready to turn the corner and change their lives, they just need to hear it from 'one of their own'.
Thank you for that post. That took courage, although not nearly as much as turning your life around. I think you are a fine example of one reason Jesus wanted us to show compassion even for those we vehemently disagree with -- not just for ourselves, but because maybe, just maybe, through that compassion that person will see another, better way. As your story shows, an unfocused pathology of violence and anger only alienates others to your views -- something the Left this week in NYC will likely fail to appreciate.
That statement really brought tears. This is the first time I think anyone has stated what for me was the true pain coming home. Speaking only for myself, I was never insulted or spit on when I returned, but what ate away at me was the total indifference, and the presumption I must be damaged from the experience. I never thought about being thanked, but a "Welcome Home" would have been very healing.
Thank you for the wonderful words and the sentiment behind it. God bless you.
Oops. Somehow the implications of the first line escaped me. My above comment is, of course, addressed to the person who sent you the letter, stockpirate.
A very moving piece. Thanks for posting.
Well written.
There is more joy in heaven over the one lost "sheep" who was found than over the 99 sheep who were never lost. Great wounds can be healed after forgiveness is applied.
Amazing - change the dates and details a little and this could be my family and my life.
While in Virginia on vacation in 2002, my family stayed in a hotel that housed a lot of *overflow* Pentagon soldiers (from other regions of the country).
Every morning during the contintental breakfast, I made it my mission to approach a different soldier and make sure they knew when they went to work that one American family was grateful for their service. Most looked at me in shock and then the smiling began . . . I met some wonderful people and healed a little of my past.
Thanks for your heart felt confession. It brought tears to my eyes. I am of the same vintage, but was always conservative leaning in my politics (family influence, I suppose). The picture I remember most from that era is the one of the teenage girl in the short plaid skirt and platform shoes running as fast as she can into the arms of her returning Dad. That's the kind of welcome ALL veterans, no matter what the war, deserve.
I hope we've all learned a lesson. Confessions like yours will go a LONG way in healing long time buried wounds.
I have spoken to many Viet vets who have said what they saw or experienced or did made them sick. Some have expanded on it, some can't bring themselves to talk about it in depth. Calley wasn't an exception nor was he the rule.
The events show our efforts were correct? Explain. We didn't beat back communism in that area. It still flourishes. Maybe there are normalized relationships with many of those countries, but they are far from being freedom loving, capitalistic republics.
And yes it is the truth that matters. I'm no Kerry kool-aid drinker, os obviously you've missed some truths too. But I also don't believe this President is God's hand picked choice for leadership at this moment. He's the (much) better of the two terribly imperfect but viable candidates we have at this moment. Seems the President has been looking for truth too as in for the past 16 months we understood the resistance we'd encounter vs this past weeks admisssion we underestimated that resistance.
As I said, even if Kerry's testimony was spot on, at this point in history, the Swifty's probably would have been there in the same capacity as we've seen.
Another ASA guy from the same period and earlier here. Welcome home brother.
Everyone is sorry for everything, these days. It's the 'hip' thing to do, I suppose.
Joe,
It’s not your fault. You have been exposed to the most relentless brainwashing this side of the Gulag.
I can understand how you can believe in widespread war crimes even though you were never in the military. You were told by people with authority.
I can understand how you can believe that there is a “code” that bonds the military to cover up war crimes. You were told by people with authority.
I can understand why you now want to give an “atta boy” those who served honorably because that is now the tenor of those who “speak with authority.”
After all, if we do not honor those who fought in Viet Nam, where would Kerry’s candidacy be?
So I can understand your position, and your tortured soul.
This being Sunday, when I am in church, I will pray for you. I will pray that God’s Holy Spirit descends on you and brings you peace.
To those who would flame Joe:
Please don’t.
He is not responsible for his beliefs. Attacks will only convince him he is right. Pray for his enlightenment.
Peace and love.
To the Freeper who wrote this. You're soul searching is so well written it made me cry. Oh that so many others of your generation could come to understand half as much as you have. God bless.
When the Vietnam Vets returned home to a less-than honorable reception, I was working for a large corporation in Memphis, TN, and a returning Vet occupied the desk next to me. All along, I had been silent on the "war" issue, but I was watching and listening. When I saw the hurt and bitterness in the eyes of my coworker, somehow I was able to "get it" -- to understand the injustice to our county caused by the anti-war movement.
My only regret was that I didn't articulate my thanks to my coworker. I don't recall his last name, but his first name was Walter. If you are reading this, "Thank you for your service, Walter."
Speaking only for myself, I do appreciate the thanks. But in the end the best medicine for most vets will be a Kerry defeat. It will be so cathartic. The monkey will be off our backs once and for all.
It will be a repudiation of those that flew Viet Cong flags durign the war.
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