Fat Teddy is an avid boater too.
Posted on 09/19/2004 5:02:25 AM PDT by islander-11
John Kerry may be sinking in the polls, but even if he goes down with the ship Nov. 2, he'll still have his own little flotilla to return to back here in Massachusetts.
According to a check of state and U.S. Coast Guard records, he and his ``family'' own almost as many high-end boats as they do mansions and SUVs. Since Liveshot married the Widow Heinz, he's been on a nautical buying spree. Excuse me, let me clarify that last statement: His elderly second wife's first husband's grandfather's trust fund has been on a nautical buying spree on behalf of Gigolo John.
Here is the fleet:
The Scaramouche, a 42-foot, $1 million 2001 Hinckley power boat, currently in the Witness Protection Program for boats down in Rhode Island until after the election.
A 35-foot, 1998-model Contender, presently unregistered with the state. According to unreliable but official state documents, that boat - known lately as ``the Dan Rather'' - is moored in Abington, a landlocked satellite of Brockton where you would be much more likely to stash a body than a boat.
A 27-foot 1998-model Contender, registered to the stepson, Chris Heinz.
An 18-foot, 2001 Novurania, MS0057TT. You get the 57 reference, and the TT means ``Tender to'' - in other words, it's the Scaramouche's dinghy.
A 17-foot 1994 Boston Whaler, owned by Teresa.
The odd thing is, with all these fine vessels at his disposal, Gigolo John is only rarely photographed these days at the helm of a boat. Perhaps all nautical vessels now remind him of . . . swift boats.
As for the name of Kerry's flagship, that could be another problem out there in the blue states. According to Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase & Fable, before it became famous in a hit song for Queen, Scaramouche was ``a stock character in Italian farce. . . . a braggart and a fool, very valiant in words, but a POLTROON.''
Benet's Readers Encyclopedia goes even further, describing Scaramouche as a ``braggart soldier.''
Unfortunately, other than the Scaramouche, I don't have the names of the ships in the Heinz Navy. They're not listed in Jane's Non-Fighting Ships, and state regulations don't require identification by name. A call was placed to the Kerry campaign seeking information about all the boats, including the whereabouts of the Scaramouche and why it's put in less time on the water this summer than the SS Minnow. The call was not returned.
And I hope that Teresa's Whaler is the Lovey, John's term of affection for her that he borrowed from Thurston Howell III.
The only real question about the fleet concerns the 35-foot yacht that is supposedly in Abington - the SS Dan Rather, I like to call it, after Kerry's greatest supporter in the media. Is the Dan Rather really in Abington? I asked a spokesman for the Massachusetts Environmental Police.
``It's probably a clerical error from when we switched systems a couple of years ago,'' Felix Brown said. ``We don't show it presently registered, so it could either be in dry dock, or registered with the feds, which you can do if it's over 26 feet.''
Or perhaps the Dan Rather is resting at a mooring on the East River in Manhattan, to provide its namesake with a quick means of escape when he finally has to confess to his part in the ``60 Minutes'' hoax. After what Dan Rather tried to do for John Kerry [related, bio], letting Dan Rather flee in the Dan Rather seems the least that one braggart soldier could do for a ruined anchorman.
ROFL! Howie Carr is dead on funny. I don't think the Heinz Navy can save Liveshot now...
I like this part: ‘to play the poltron,..to loll and wallow in sloth and idlenesse, to lye lazilie in bed as a sluggard’
Nothing beats the OED!
Check this out too! It's really good
http://www.beecy.net/frank/
YYeah I know, that's why he doesn't like to talk about his commie activist days in the 60's and 70's.
A little mood music....
LOL... you really can't make this stuff up! Scaramoucbe, Paltroon, Braggart soldier indeed.
I can tell it's not a term of endearament for JFK, but I've missed the background on "liveshot." Any enlighenment?
"Liveshot" was a nickname bestowed on the Frenchurian Candidate years ago by Howie Carr, based on Kerry's propensity to push nuns and orphans out of the way to get in front of a TV camera.
Kerry was having a fundraiser upstairs in the same building, and Rep. Lynch invited him to say a few words. My sister didn't catch him; she stepped outside for a cigarette. He wasn't up before she left, and he was gone when she came back. Everyone told her he was roundly booed -- no cheers. Possibly partly because of the unexpected political rally aspect, possibly partly because Southie has a disproportionate number of veterans for its size. Possibly partly because no one likes him.
It warmed the cockles of my heart to hear it. (My sister promised to get more details from friends who didn't step out.)
That's good stuff!
I swear that I see as many "W" and "Not Fonda Kerry" stickers on this liberal little sandbar as I do stickers supporting this dork. HA! It would do my heart some good to see him not carry his adopted "summer home"...
The way things are going for JFK, if he went out on one of his boats he would be attacked by a flotilla of attack rabbits.LOL! I can see it now. His girlie-man run toward the bow where tuh-RAY-zuh is busy working on her tan. "Lovey! Lovey!" he cries out, with his limp-wrist hands all a-twitter in the air about him. "Come quick, Lovey! You've got to do something about the rabbits! Save me from all those beastly rabbits!"
Tuh-RAY-zuh looks down at the tawny muscled fellow kneeling at her feet, silently applying gobs of nail-polish to her gnarled weather-beaten toes, and she says to him under her breath, "oh god, what did I do to deserve such a poltroon. And now it doesn't even look like he can get me into the White House. Shall we feed him to the rabbits?"
Mr. Muscle looks up at her and gives her a silent wink.
Fat Teddy is an avid boater too.
I haven't seen many bumper stickers at all -- and most of those are for past primaries or vacation spots. Still lots of flag stickers on rear windows, though. I'm in Southie, but I work downtown, and I try to keep an eye out. Of election-related ones, I've seen five: one Bush-Cheney, two Kerry, one Vets against Kerry and one Another Firefighter against Kerry.
btt
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.