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Morford: Kiss My Megatruck, Dude
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, September 22, 2004 | Mark Morford

Posted on 09/28/2004 6:25:12 AM PDT by presidio9

Aww, screw it. I mean, really. You just gotta love this thing. You just gotta love the fact that some semitruck company somewhere called International Truck and Engine Corp. is now coming out with what they claim is the world's largest production pickup, called the CXT, all 9 feet high and 8 feet wide, a whopping 21 feet long and 14,500 pounds and 18 million excruciating earthly groans of it.

And in most states that don't give a crap for their roads or the environment or any human life that might be existing in the various passenger cars surrounding it, you don't need a commercial truck license to own or drive the CXT, a vehicle that makes the Hummer H2 look like a Honda Civic and that makes all the manly thick-necked boys go, ooohhhyeessss, and that the company itself claims, oh so tellingly, will absolutely guarantee your title of "king of the dirt pile."

See, there is this point. There is this point where it all becomes just beyond silly and absurd and surreal. There is this threshold you reach where you finally just have to toss in the moral and spiritual and intellectual and commonsensical towel and just laugh out loud and shake your head and sigh and then run off to the woods with a bottle of fine sake and the collected Coltrane. This is what you have to do. Especially when faced with such wicked absurdities as, say, Kraft Lunchables. Or John Ashcroft. Or Dr. Phil. Or the CXT.

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
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1 posted on 09/28/2004 6:25:12 AM PDT by presidio9
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To: presidio9

I want one... to go with my Miata. In fact, I want a long bodied model so I can use it to carry my Miata around with me.


2 posted on 09/28/2004 6:26:47 AM PDT by Mercat
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To: presidio9

Cool truck. I want one.


3 posted on 09/28/2004 6:26:49 AM PDT by 68skylark
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To: presidio9

You think that would haul my boat, then? It'd be nice to pick up firewood, too. I think I'll check this out. My old Ranger is about to give up the ghost.


4 posted on 09/28/2004 6:27:46 AM PDT by MineralMan (godless atheist)
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To: Mercat

Um, its probably not a good idea to let people know you drive a Miata on a Morford thread...


5 posted on 09/28/2004 6:28:38 AM PDT by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9
There is this threshold you reach where you finally just have to toss in the moral and spiritual and intellectual and commonsensical towel and just laugh out loud and shake your head and sigh and then run off to the woods with a bottle of fine sake and the collected Coltrane.

And Mrs Morford, you are WAY past the threshhold of being taken seriously.

6 posted on 09/28/2004 6:28:54 AM PDT by smith288 (ejsmithweb.com)
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To: presidio9

Mark Morford has a crush on John Ashcroft. S/he must, s/he mentions the Atty Gen in every column.


7 posted on 09/28/2004 6:29:32 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: presidio9

Just stay out of the way Morford. This is anything but Mor-Ford! LOL!

8 posted on 09/28/2004 6:30:06 AM PDT by Jeff Head (www.dragonsfuryseries.com)
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To: Mercat

Are you sure you want anyone to know you drive a miata?


9 posted on 09/28/2004 6:30:13 AM PDT by devane617
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To: presidio9

It is a bit rediculous, but hey, if youve got the cash and you want one, go for it I guess.


10 posted on 09/28/2004 6:30:22 AM PDT by Husker24
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To: presidio9

"Because this ain't simply a work truck. It's also designed for the "discriminating" blue-collar redneck with $115,000 to spare,..."

It's designed for all those celebrities who can afford it.

After all, the Hummer's designer is a bona fide Hampton's guy.

Check the latest Forbes Magazine to see the "Travel Trailers" for the truly wealthy. They even have a second story, some have recording studios and of course, the marble floors in the baths.

Dear Morford isn't hanging with the elites who truly matter in his world if he isn't seeing the truth of the matter.


11 posted on 09/28/2004 6:30:25 AM PDT by OpusatFR (Let me repeat this: the web means never having to swallow leftist garbage again. Got it?)
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To: presidio9

Prissy little gay girly-boy in a snit.

12 posted on 09/28/2004 6:30:44 AM PDT by stinkerpot65
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To: presidio9
.....had some discussion on this one earlier!.....

.....kewl truck!.....

13 posted on 09/28/2004 6:31:04 AM PDT by cyberaxe (((.....does this mean I'm kewl now?.....)))
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To: 68skylark

I not only want one, I want to CONSTANTLY cruise it around Morford's neighborhood. . .


14 posted on 09/28/2004 6:33:20 AM PDT by Salgak (don't mind me: the orbital mind control lasers are making me write this. . .)
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To: Salgak

Yeah, I don't want to haul anything in it. I just want to drive around and get liberals ticked off.


15 posted on 09/28/2004 6:35:45 AM PDT by 68skylark
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To: presidio9
There is this threshold you reach where you finally just have to toss in the moral and spiritual and intellectual and commonsensical towel and just laugh out loud and shake your head and sigh and then run off to the woods with a bottle of fine sake and the collected Coltrane. This is what you have to do.

OK Chronicle readers, you have your marching orders.

16 posted on 09/28/2004 6:38:25 AM PDT by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: presidio9

Just wondering, guys ... he compares this to a H2 ... how does it compare to a H1?

And how hard is it to drive? Does it operate like a commercial truck, which if my memory serves has an insanely complex gear system, or has it been tamed?

D


17 posted on 09/28/2004 6:40:29 AM PDT by daviddennis (;)
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To: 68skylark

18 posted on 09/28/2004 6:41:32 AM PDT by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9

The poster it, Morford, for Girly its, has it's pink laced panties in another knot.

Morford, please wear your estrogen patch and stfu.


19 posted on 09/28/2004 6:44:07 AM PDT by Grampa Dave (When will the ABCNNBC BS lunatic libs stop Rathering to Americans? Answer: NEVER!)
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To: presidio9

Is it 4x4? If so sign me up.


20 posted on 09/28/2004 6:44:26 AM PDT by CONSERVE
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To: Mercat

check it out at www.internationaldelivers.com


21 posted on 09/28/2004 6:45:21 AM PDT by cajun-jack
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To: daviddennis

"And how hard is it to drive? Does it operate like a commercial truck, which if my memory serves has an insanely complex gear system, or has it been tamed?
"

Pretty easy. It has an Allison automatic transmission, power steering and all that good stuff. You could sit down in it and drive it off...no problem.

I just drove a 24-foot moving van across the country. 8 feet wide and 30 feet long and a blind spot three miles wide. It felt funny at first, but by the time I got here, it was just like driving a big pickup. And that one had a 5-speed manual tranny.


22 posted on 09/28/2004 6:48:32 AM PDT by MineralMan (godless atheist)
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To: presidio9

Wow, that looks exactly like son #2's quad in the back of the truck. He would die for a truck like that!!! Right now he has a long body Ford.

(and a '91 t-bird with a blown engine, 3 smowmobiles and a semi-functioning 16-1/2 foot boat, all in my backyard & driveway. I've told him no more lawn ornaments please)

;-)


23 posted on 09/28/2004 6:48:51 AM PDT by KosmicKitty (Well... There you go again!)
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To: presidio9

How many cupholders? Does it have a built in Keg Cooler?


24 posted on 09/28/2004 6:50:08 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Dan Rather, "I lied, but I lied about the truth".)
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To: presidio9
While I just can't bring my self to read his sick writing I still have a perverse curiosity to see how he works in the standard "orgasm" and "hookers" statements.

So to those with stronger stomachs than me how did he work them in?

25 posted on 09/28/2004 6:55:02 AM PDT by avg_freeper (Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
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To: presidio9

The problem with liberals in a nutshell is that their busibodies. They just cannot mind they're own damn business.


26 posted on 09/28/2004 6:55:59 AM PDT by Doohickey ("This is a hard and dirty war, but when it's over, nothing will ever be too difficult again.)
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To: presidio9

Nothing like a cheerleader (with sand in her vagina) for gays in San Francisco preaching about 'excesses' to the rest of us.


27 posted on 09/28/2004 6:57:31 AM PDT by TC Rider (The United States Constitution 1791. All Rights Reserved.)
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To: presidio9

This idiot is fighting a losing battle. If you ask me, the average American will give up his freedom of speech, religion, assembly, and right to bear arms before he'll give up his constitutional right to drive a big truck. It's been that way for a long time.


28 posted on 09/28/2004 6:57:34 AM PDT by Mr Ramsbotham ("Ich glaube, du hast in die hosen geschissen!")
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To: CONSERVE

You can see the front differential in both of those pics, so yes, it is a 4x4.


29 posted on 09/28/2004 6:58:21 AM PDT by Little Pig
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To: Salgak
I not only want one, I want to CONSTANTLY cruise it around Morford's neighborhood. . .

That's not good enough, you need to cruise his neighborhood with the stereo turned up to '11' while playing Hank Williams.

30 posted on 09/28/2004 6:59:47 AM PDT by TC Rider (The United States Constitution 1791. All Rights Reserved.)
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To: avg_freeper

I just skimmed over the article (funny if you keep visualize an outraged Morford beating his little girly fists on his thighs), but he did manage to work in "wet dream". Does that count as an orgasm reference?


31 posted on 09/28/2004 6:59:50 AM PDT by Doohickey ("This is a hard and dirty war, but when it's over, nothing will ever be too difficult again.)
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To: 68skylark

I consider that a BONUS. . . . have to get vanity plates:

"KISMYGAS"


32 posted on 09/28/2004 7:05:30 AM PDT by Salgak (don't mind me: the orbital mind control lasers are making me write this. . .)
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To: presidio9
It will just be, after all, so much fun, until the hurricanes strike and the earthquakes rumble and the exhausted Earth finally shudders and recoils and opens up wide and swallows us whole.

Given his proclivities, I think Morford has more to worry about on that score than someone who commits the relatively mild sin of driving a bigger truck than he really needs. ;)

33 posted on 09/28/2004 7:13:30 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves
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To: presidio9

I want a MEGATRUCK and I want it NOW!


34 posted on 09/28/2004 7:19:33 AM PDT by Enterprise (The left hates the Constitution. Islamic Fascism hates America. Natural allies.)
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To: presidio9

Just made it through Morford's whiny screed. I can just imagine his tiny manicured fists beating against the grille of the CXT while squealing "You brute, you brute, you brute!". But he(?) shouldn't fret about one truck or another nailing down "macho absurdity". With this editorial Mikey's demonstrated that he's the poster boy for the ultimate caricature of the gay male. He strikes me as the sort of person that even other gays stare at and mutter, "Gawd, what a screamer!".


35 posted on 09/28/2004 7:19:46 AM PDT by Exeter
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To: presidio9

These would be good for drawings and quartering terrorists. That would twist Mofo's panties.


36 posted on 09/28/2004 7:21:51 AM PDT by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos)
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To: Jeff Head
"This is anything but Mor-Ford!"

(hee hee hee) Ford is having some trouble these days.

37 posted on 09/28/2004 7:23:54 AM PDT by Enterprise (The left hates the Constitution. Islamic Fascism hates America. Natural allies.)
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To: presidio9

These would be good for drawings and quartering terrorists. That would twist Mofo's panties.


38 posted on 09/28/2004 7:25:09 AM PDT by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos)
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To: presidio9
Wow! Can't afford that baby... gotta keep drivin' my old heap soon's I get the gas tank fixed...


39 posted on 09/28/2004 7:29:52 AM PDT by badgerlandjim (Hillary Clinton is to politics as Helen Thomas is to beauty)
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To: presidio9

Pretty Truck


40 posted on 09/28/2004 7:32:01 AM PDT by woofie (This document was generated in 2004 by a computer)
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To: presidio9

Seems to me that International is part of Navistar, which used to be International Harvester, which went through a couple decades of downsizing rather than compete.

Maybe they got some new management.


41 posted on 09/28/2004 7:33:35 AM PDT by js1138 (Speedy architect of perfect labyrinths.)
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To: rface

Hey, look over here. I just found what you're gonna get me for Christmas!!!!


42 posted on 09/28/2004 7:35:57 AM PDT by SavageRepublican (everything I own is covered in cat hair)
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To: presidio9
I hope International gives a CXT to the people living across thte street from Morford.

So9

43 posted on 09/28/2004 7:42:07 AM PDT by Servant of the 9 (Screwing the Inscrutable or is it Scruting the Inscrewable?)
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To: Servant of the 9
There is this threshold you reach where you finally just have to toss in the moral and spiritual and intellectual and commonsensical towel and just laugh out loud and shake your head and sigh and then run off to the woods with a bottle of fine sake and the collected Coltrane.

God I love this country. Big trucks for those that want them, hybrids for those that don't. My reaction is to pour myself 2 fingers of Tesoro Paradiso, light up a nice cigar and listen for Mr. Priss's whining noises. It sounds like the bleating of sheep.

I love to see them with their feathers ruffled, it's so pitiful it's funny

44 posted on 09/28/2004 7:56:55 AM PDT by tx_eggman ("There is no safety for honest men but by believing all possible evil of evil men." --Edmund Burke)
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To: presidio9; KayEyeDoubleDee
I think I may be experiencing pickup truck envy.

Sigh...

45 posted on 09/28/2004 8:27:57 AM PDT by SlickWillard
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To: devane617

hmmm, why wouldn't I want people to know I drive a Miata? It's a chick car, I'm a chick. I have my screen name as my vanity plate. It's ten years old so don't start with the made in America stuff. That was pre Freeper days.


46 posted on 09/28/2004 9:30:19 AM PDT by Mercat
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To: SlickWillard

truck envy? i can't even blink right now. gawd...
i drive an 04 f-250 diesel supercab longbed; tows my 12k 5th wheel camper to nascar races...agh agh agh (tim allen?)
sometimes i'll plug the camper into a gas generator, and dare i say ... burn two fossil fuels at once?! international makes my engine, btw.
big-truck freepers, unite!!


47 posted on 09/28/2004 11:00:54 AM PDT by wayne_b24 (every day above ground is a good day...)
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To: Mercat

Um, you may be a chick, but the Miata is the official car of the poofter community.


48 posted on 09/28/2004 11:21:46 AM PDT by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9

He'd like it if it had a rainbow paint job.


49 posted on 09/28/2004 11:23:29 AM PDT by B Knotts ("John Kerry, who says he doesn't like outsourcing, wants to outsource our national security.")
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To: presidio9
International Truck had a golf outing at her place of employment and one of these bad boys was there.

She didn't call me. Boy is she in trouble...

L

50 posted on 09/28/2004 11:25:58 AM PDT by Lurker ( Rope, tree, Islamofascist. Adult assembly required.)
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