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French Joke
e-mail from a marine | 10-05-04 | MNnice

Posted on 10/05/2004 12:59:35 PM PDT by MNnice

----- Original Message -----

Subject: U. S. Marine

The Euro-Train was quite crowded, so the U. S. Marine walked its entire length looking for a seat, only to find that the last seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. " Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window!"


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: antifrenchhumor; french; marines; militaryhumor
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heh heh.
1 posted on 10/05/2004 12:59:35 PM PDT by MNnice
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To: MNnice

See it before! :) always a good laugh! :)


2 posted on 10/05/2004 1:00:45 PM PDT by Americanwolf ("Be vwey vwey quite! I am hunting DU Twolls! ---Elwer Fuwd Fwee wepubwic member and cawtoon icon)
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To: MNnice

ROFLMAO!

Thanks.


3 posted on 10/05/2004 1:02:03 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: MNnice

LOL!


4 posted on 10/05/2004 1:03:18 PM PDT by WinOne4TheGipper (John Kerry pour le président de la France. John Edwards für Vizepräsidenten von Deutschland!)
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To: MNnice

LOL!!! Good one. My cube mates now think I've lost my marbles.


5 posted on 10/05/2004 1:04:18 PM PDT by appalachian_dweller (Threat Level: HIGH -- For a basic list of survival gear go to my FR Homepage.)
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To: MNnice

LOL!


6 posted on 10/05/2004 1:04:22 PM PDT by Pajamajan (John Kerry- The wrong man at the wrong time. Vote for GW BUSH=THE RIGHT MAN)
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To: MNnice; Neets; Darksheare; scott0347; timpad; KangarooJacqui; The Scourge of Yazid; ...

Humor ping!


7 posted on 10/05/2004 1:04:45 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: WinOne4TheGipper

I have a very nice condition French SMLE rifle for anyone who wants to buy it.

It was never fired and only dropped once!


8 posted on 10/05/2004 1:05:56 PM PDT by Gaffer
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To: MNnice

good one!


9 posted on 10/05/2004 1:06:23 PM PDT by King Prout (yo! sKerry: "Live by the flip, die by the flop." - Frank_Discussion)
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To: tiamat; WKB; bourbon; wardaddy; dixiechick2000; MagnoliaMS

LOL!
Thanks for the humor ping.


10 posted on 10/05/2004 1:06:26 PM PDT by onyx (Please don't be a FReeloader. Be a FReepin monthly donor!)
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To: tiamat

thanks!


11 posted on 10/05/2004 1:06:37 PM PDT by King Prout (yo! sKerry: "Live by the flip, die by the flop." - Frank_Discussion)
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To: MNnice

OOOH-RAAAAH!!!!


12 posted on 10/05/2004 1:07:25 PM PDT by Red Badger (If you shoot from the hip enough times, eventually you'll shoot yourself in the a$$......)
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To: MNnice

Isn't French Joke redundant?


13 posted on 10/05/2004 1:08:15 PM PDT by intolerancewillNOTbetolerated (I suck at my current job, so PROMOTE me. - Peter-Principle Kerry)
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To: MNnice

That is funny - Do you know why the French planted trees along the Champs de Elysse?

So the Germans would have shade to march in.


14 posted on 10/05/2004 1:08:17 PM PDT by M. Peach (eschew obfuscation)
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To: MNnice

HAHAHA Great one!


15 posted on 10/05/2004 1:12:15 PM PDT by MindyW
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To: tiamat

Funny! Thanks!


16 posted on 10/05/2004 1:13:02 PM PDT by OSHA (It's a WAR not a wedge issue. They are AMERICAN SOLDIERS not petty pawns.)
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To: King Prout; onyx

Machts nicht!


17 posted on 10/05/2004 1:16:19 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: OSHA

Not a problem!


18 posted on 10/05/2004 1:17:08 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: tiamat

Je Reviens.. expensive perfume for French ladies to wear just to hear "Fraulien!!"


19 posted on 10/05/2004 1:21:25 PM PDT by Darksheare (Vote Dubya on Nov 2nd to exorcise the DemUns!)
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To: MNnice

Greetings, fellow Freepers, lurkers, Patriots, and all USA-loving folks!

This is the new media speaking, and we are growing faster than a pond full of guppies. The old media is dead—they just don’t know it yet. But they are starting to sense it, and are panicking.

The genie is out of the bottle. The internet now has hundreds of millions of fact-checkers, lie detectors, and cool brainiacs in their pajamas, laughing our butts off at the lame attempts of the “journalism majors” on TV to spin things their way.

The media wing of the democrat party is dying. CBS, ABC, NBC, all except FOX are tanking in their ratings, losing money, and dying a slow, welcome death.

Who broke the Dan Rather phony document story? One of our braniacs here, in pajamas, Buckhead. The “th” heard round-the-world ignited blew Dan out of the water in a couple of hours.

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Come on in, and join us, and let’s change the world!


20 posted on 10/05/2004 1:21:47 PM PDT by MonroeDNA (Kerry is a traitor)
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To: MNnice

Jacques Kerry does not see the humor in this story.

21 posted on 10/05/2004 1:22:21 PM PDT by They'reGone2000 (In my jammies in an undisclosed location.)
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To: M. Peach

ooooh --- it's "Champs-Elysees" ... (I'm German, not French.)


22 posted on 10/05/2004 1:23:41 PM PDT by Temple Drake
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To: MNnice
...Oldie but Goody Alert...
Why does Paris have so many tree-lined avenues?...so the Germans can march in the shade.
23 posted on 10/05/2004 1:24:18 PM PDT by Shqipo (The gloves are on and the corners are empty.)
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To: Darksheare

My Grandmother used to wear that....


24 posted on 10/05/2004 1:28:52 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: MNnice
Another one:

At the end of the Napoleonic Wars, the French captured an English officer. They asked him why the English officers wore bright red tunics. The Brit told them that it was in case the officer was wounded, so the color would hide the blood and preserve troop morale. Ever since that time, French officers have worn brown pants.

25 posted on 10/05/2004 1:31:11 PM PDT by expatpat
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To: expatpat

LOL!


26 posted on 10/05/2004 1:36:07 PM PDT by MNnice
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To: tiamat

It is one of my faves fr someone to wear.
Doesn't make my iris turn red though like sunflower does.
(That's a bad thing, depending upon one's viewpoint.)


27 posted on 10/05/2004 1:53:54 PM PDT by Darksheare (Vote Dubya on Nov 2nd to exorcise the DemUns!)
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To: Darksheare

I don't know Sunflower.

I wear a lot of the spicy orientals, like Byzance or Cinnabar.

Sadly, MY tastes in men's cologne or after-shave are prosaic.... a nice Lime... or... God help me... Old Spice.

( Yes, my daddy was an occifer......)



28 posted on 10/05/2004 1:59:42 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: tiamat

Sunflower has two scents to it to my sense of smell, one heavy and strong, the other faint and frilly.
It.. uh.. 'does something' to my er.. mental state.
The iris of my eyes going from brown to red kinda gives it away.

I can't wear colognes too much, they all give me a headache.
So if I get spritzed with cologne.. it better be for a darn good reason.
*chuckle*


29 posted on 10/05/2004 2:06:27 PM PDT by Darksheare (Vote Dubya on Nov 2nd to exorcise the DemUns!)
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To: MNnice
Let's See.....

The owner of Little FiFi felt that her honor had been besmirched.

She cried out, on a train full of Frenchmen, for someone to defend her honor....

Well, I think we all know how that turned out.

30 posted on 10/05/2004 2:10:48 PM PDT by chs68
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To: MNnice
Let's See.....

The owner of Little FiFi felt that her honor had been besmirched.

She cried out, on a train full of Frenchmen, for someone to defend her honor....

Well, I think we all know how that turned out.

31 posted on 10/05/2004 2:11:20 PM PDT by chs68
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To: Vic3O3; cavtrooper21

Ping for a good laugh!

Semper Fi


32 posted on 10/05/2004 2:13:01 PM PDT by dd5339 (A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path.)
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A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel(Bosnia):
A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we(Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war.


He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France.

I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface at some point in the near future anyway. That is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of faggots for soldiers.
I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and
action, not word, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support was only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, as evidenced by the fact that the French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way around.


He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would
like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and beat his ass in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average Frenchman.

He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff.

Mary Beth Johnson
LtCol, USMC


33 posted on 10/05/2004 2:14:27 PM PDT by neal1960 (Kerry, the reason stupid people shouldn't be allowed to vote)
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To: tiamat; MNnice; PhilDragoo; Liz; onyx; nicmarlo; Happy2BMe; potlatch; devolve; MEG33; ...
LOL!! Classic !

34 posted on 10/05/2004 2:18:53 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Become a monthly donor on FR. No amount is too small and monthly giving is the way to go !)
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To: Darksheare

I can see you now, sprinting through the men's cologne department at the store, avoiding the Spritzer Ladies! LOL!


35 posted on 10/05/2004 2:32:51 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: neal1960

neal1960 wrote:



Mary Beth Johnson
LtCol, USMC





Agggghhhhhh!


You owe me a key-board!

LOL!


36 posted on 10/05/2004 2:35:23 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: tiamat

I was encircled once, and had to calmly explain why it was a bad idea.
How embarrassing.


37 posted on 10/05/2004 2:37:38 PM PDT by Darksheare (Vote Dubya on Nov 2nd to exorcise the DemUns!)
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To: MNnice

bump


38 posted on 10/05/2004 2:39:37 PM PDT by Sub-Driver (Unelect All NJ Politicians....)
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To: Darksheare

They aren't quite as agressive as they were in the early 80's.

I remember being stalked then by black-clad scare-crows with too much make-up.. just "poofing" you with the stuff without your permission...

"Here! Try "Obssession"! It's new!"

And they ALWAYs laid it on WAY too heavy.


39 posted on 10/05/2004 2:41:11 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: MeekOneGOP
LOL, Seen it before, but still good for a hard laugh...



Thanks For The PING

40 posted on 10/05/2004 2:58:45 PM PDT by Smartass (BUSH & CHENEY 2004 Si vis pacem, para bellum - Por el dedo de Dios se escribió)
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To: tiamat

I had to get mean once, when they encircled me with the stuff.
I was trying to get my group to stop or at least help, and they took off on me.
And then these young things with the misters hemmed me in, it was a miracle anyone could see me.
One made the mistake of spritzing me in the face.
Then she made the comment that it smelled nice on me.
Followed by her shocked and surprised shriek.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do, and I had 'Roman Hands'..
I do so hate it when sales people don't listen to polite requests to stop.


41 posted on 10/05/2004 3:07:16 PM PDT by Darksheare (Vote Dubya on Nov 2nd to exorcise the DemUns!)
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To: Darksheare

Oh dear.

Hopefully you weren't thrown out of the mall....


42 posted on 10/05/2004 3:09:51 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: tiamat

Actually, no.
Some of the salesgirls seemed jealous.
Mall security seemed bemused.


43 posted on 10/05/2004 3:12:26 PM PDT by Darksheare (Vote Dubya on Nov 2nd to exorcise the DemUns!)
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To: Nightshift

ping


44 posted on 10/05/2004 3:13:26 PM PDT by tutstar ( <{{--->< http://ripe4change.4-all.org Judge Greer allows violations of Florida Statutes)
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To: Darksheare

LOL!


45 posted on 10/05/2004 3:14:23 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: tiamat

At least I wasn't cornered in Vic's Secret..
They semed way too fascinated with the hair.
(What is it with women and my hair?!)


46 posted on 10/05/2004 3:23:43 PM PDT by Darksheare (Vote Dubya on Nov 2nd to exorcise the DemUns!)
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To: Darksheare

Well, if it's nice and clean, women will want to run their fingers through it!

Consider this a GOOD thing! LOL!

the only thing i hate about Victoria's Secret is that the place REEKs of potpourri.

WAY too much potpourri.

I would never subject a man to going in there.


47 posted on 10/05/2004 3:26:52 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: phoenix0468

Ping.


48 posted on 10/05/2004 3:29:25 PM PDT by Brett66 (Dan Rather, the most busted man in America.)
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To: neal1960
Mary Beth Johnson LtCol, USMC

ROTFLMAO!!!
49 posted on 10/05/2004 3:35:48 PM PDT by mugs99 (Restore the Constitution)
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To: MNnice
>French Joke (w/dog)


50 posted on 10/05/2004 3:40:43 PM PDT by theFIRMbss
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