Joe Sixpack's Motel 6
Posted on 10/11/2004 8:05:37 PM PDT by vanderleun
Pour La Release Immediateness
DATELINE VERSAILLES: One day after Donald Rumsfeld made a surprise visit to Iraq, les tout France from Paris Nord to Versailles came to a halt to honor the surprise visit of Mrs. Teresa Heinz Kerry to this sleepy Parisian suburb and former home of the Ancien Regime (AKA "Kings and Queens of France").
Arriving on the personal jet that is not owned by her but by her family, Mrs. Teresa Heinz Kerry (or Mrs. Teresa Kerry-Heinz as she prefers to be known in Europe), was quick to make her way to Versailles II in order to sign the lease for her and her husband's forthcoming R&R retreat now scheduled from November 3, 2004 to January 31, 2005.
Teresa's sudden appearance in France marked the first time she has been away from the Campaign for the Presidency of the United States of America since Saturday. "The strain is just enormous," she remarked," especially that of being away from my friends here in France for so long, but the proprieties must be observed especially during the final weeks of this, how do you say?, 'debacle'?"
After a suitable luncheon consisting of a light salad, une morsel de fromage blanc, and six courses of white and red wine, Mrs. Kerry-Heinz took a tour of the villa which heretofore had been referred to under the code name 'Martha's Vineyard East.'
"You have to say something to all those little people without enough sense to either vote for my husband or let their children gambol about naked," Mrs. Kerry-Heinz quipped to the French press corps who had all donned giant poodle and corgi costumes in her honor.
Head chef of the French tourism and villa rental bureau, M. Jacques Chirac, was on hand to witness the historic signing of the lease for the Kerry-Heinz's Versailles II.*** "With all this stylish and historic moment," M. Chirac stated, "The grandeur of France's ever-deepening relationship with the Democratic Party is illuminated once again. I am looking forward to many strolls and romps in the grounds of Versailles II with Teresa, as well as a number of private and tender interludes with her recently worn shoes."
Before being wheeled back aboard her plane, Mrs. Kerry-Heinz told the entire nation of Kerry Supporters-Extraordinaire, "Les etat, c'est moi. I'm excited to be here and even more excited by your sensible attitude towards oil and catsup. I count the moments until we can be together. Au revoir, Lafayette."
Le Backgrounder pour Le Presse International
***Versailles II is located 35 minutes northwest of Paris near Versailles. Designed by architect Francois Mansart around 1668 for Jean Dyel, the Comte d'Aufflay, Louis XIV's ambassador to Venice and finished around 1696 by his nephew Jules Hardouin-Mansart. One of the most significant historical chateaux in France, Versailles
II is at once both simple and sumptuous with the great octagonal salon in white and blue that has dessus-de-deportes by Boucher, the elegant dining room with the original 17th Century carved stone buffet, magnificent boiseries and the stone entry hall which completely exalts the classicism of the Period.
All of the eleven bedrooms, eleven full baths and three half baths were newly beautifully remodeled with limestone, antique mirrors and chandeliers. A Professional gourmet kitchen was completely remodeled in the year 2000 with all top of the line Hobart commercial appliances. Enjoy the sparkling pool and newly built tennis court. The state-of-the-art telephone system is accessible from room. There are many outbuildings including a spacious chapel and adjacent reception rooms, guest house, horse stable and greenhouse. The gardens by Le Notre spread out behind the chateau; in the central axis, the spectacular fountain that resembles the cascade at Louis XIV's Chateau Marly, surmounted by a Neptune from Saint Ouen.
There are two rectangular-shaped lakes on each side of the gardens. The 185-acres grounds provide privacy, serenity and numerous outdoor activities for the chateau. Jules Hardouin-Mansart and Le Notre designed Versailles at the same period of time. The magnificence and elegance in the smaller scale was evident in Versailles II.
Are they shipping in dr's to treat him after his loss?
Just ordinary people who can really relate to the average American citizen...as if they give a damn about American citizens....
Her and John need to go some place where people will join in their sorrow over his loss.
Let them eat catsup.
I kept reading through it waiting for the punchline. Guess it wasn't a joke.
This is a joke -right???
I thought it was true at first, but it can't be true---no one is that stupid!!!! What a dumb-ass!
First I had to double check to see if it was legit. So she's basically saying that kerry is going to lose. Because if he were to win election he'd be doing business here. Not if Paris. that would look so bad!! I mean Bush started working from day 1 (or whenever the fiasco ended)...Not only that, she won't be coming to the Inaugaration?
Did you get this part:
"Versailles II in order to sign the lease for her and her husband's forthcoming R&R retreat now scheduled from November 3, 2004 to January 31, 2005."
So he does not plan to be in the US for his Inaguration!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Let Kerry be "Le Roi de France." I do not care if the angry French behead him later.
So they've plans for the day after the debate... to go to FRANCE?!
This has got to be a joke
Nah.....this is satire.
>>You have to say something to all those little people without enough sense to either vote for my husband or let their children gambol about naked," Mrs. Kerry-Heinz quipped to the French press corps who had all donned giant poodle and corgi costumes in her honor.<<
This is the part that makes me think this is a joke.......corgi and poodle costumes????
Ummm, yes, it's a joke. For example here is another article from the same site. I don't think these are the original Gilbert and Sullivan lyrics, I think they have been modified.
I Am the Very Model of A Modern Kerry Democrat
Kerry :
I am the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat,
I'm an information animal, a medal-dripping technocrat,
I know the Kennedys of Camelot, and hide my votes historical,
While my Deaniac supporters consult the Usenet Oracle;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters matrimonial,
I understand rich heiresses, and lust for figures patrimonial,
About Republican recessions I'm steaming up my views,
With many bogus facts about the bad news in the better news.
ALL :
With many bogus facts about the bad news in the better news.
With many bogus facts about the bad news in the better news.
With many bogus facts about the bad news in the better news.
Kerry :
I'm very good at counting up my votes without an abacus;
My forehead knows the use of chemicals botoxculous:
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
I am the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.
ALL :
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat
He is the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.
Kerry :
I know our mythic history, Kings Roosevelt and Kennedy;
I answer softball questions, I humm the Clinton threnody,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of all the Bushes,
With enough votes in November I can ram them up their tushes;
I know a place in France where the women wear no pants,
But if I am elected all CEOS will look askance!
I promise you I’ll can them, be a Democratic zealot,
And whistle all the songs from that infernal nonsense Camelot.
ALL :
And whistle all the songs from that infernal nonsense Camelot.
And whistle all the songs from that infernal nonsense Camelot.
And whistle all the songs from that infernal nonsense Camelot.
Kerry :
Then I will pass a tax bill rich in Senatorial babble,
That will only take more money from the richer of this rabble:
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
I am the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.
ALL :
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
He is the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.
Kerry :
When I know what is meant by "blatherin" and "spewin",
When I can tell at sight Mass Distraction from Destruction,
When at affairs for fundraising and payoffs I'm aristocrat,
And when my summer White House will be built in Montserrat,
When I have dubbed as my VP the GynoClinton Senator,
And with her help have shown the Bush clan to the door--
In short, when I’m elected as a Democratic President,
You'll say a better Kerry-Democrat has never been a White House resident.
ALL :
You'll say a better Kerry-Democrat has never been a White House resident.
You'll say a better Kerry-Democrat has never been a White House resident.
You'll say a better Kerry-Democrat has never been a White House resident.
Kerry :
For my military knowledge, though I'm gunshy and NoelCowardly,
I’ll be glad to let the UN rule our Armies most rearwardly;
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
I am the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.
ALL :
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
He is the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.
I give,..it's satire? correct???
It's a parody. Sadly, it sounds like it could be true.
Hilarious!
You've got it down pat. Nice blog BTW.
This is a joke, yes?
Even MamaT wouldn't be that stupid. This has to be a joke. If not, then she's crazy as a bedbug. She'll need some place to stay for a while to get over being called a truffle pig. This place sounds perfect. Kerry can lead her around the 185 acres on a leash and let her root in the dirt with her large snout.
Keep talking you elitist snob
Funny, but a couple of days ago a family friend forwarded this to me. Interesting!!!!!!!!!!
Subject: You will pay upkeep/Secret Service for 5 Kerry mansions.
John F. Kerry is one of the richest Senators in Government. If elected President, he will be the second richest President ever...second only to George Washington. J.F. Kennedy would follow as the third richest When someone is elected president, it means the Secret Service has to protect the President and his family as well as his property. The Kerry's have five US properties not counting the several foreign properties they also own . The annual costs to run these homes are more than what the average American earns, even if the rent was free, and all you had to pay for was the water, gas & electric, grounds keepers, maintenance, pool, and house keepers. If Kerry were to be elected President the taxpayers would be required to pay for all that.
Another cost to the taxpayers would be a security staff 24 hours a day to survey the perimeters and to protect the properties. In addition to that, we will have to pay for security improvements for each of their homes even if they never go to them all. This takes all the expense off Kerry and puts it on us. Another major cost to American taxpayers is the protection for all their properties with Secret Service agents. This requires 5 agents per 6 hour shift......that means they shift 4 times a day, 365 days of the year . This will go on for the rest of their lives so long as they own those properties. The taxpayers are required to pay for all this as well as his annual salary and his retirements.
Five properties need to be protected. This means five Secret Service Agents per six hour shift, daily . Four times a day a new shift of five agents goes on duty. That is 20 Secret Service Agents per day per property including Holidays, etc. Holiday pay is probably double. Assume that each secret service agent earns about $90K on average. Five properties...... so far, at 20 agents per property means 100 agents per day or $9,000,0000 per year just for their salaries .. That is if the Kerry's don't buy any more properties. Of course, if they buy more properties, they will also be included. We would also have to provide the Agents with vehicles and cover the costs of repairs, gas, etc. We would have to pay for their meals, days off, paid vacations, and medical insurance coverage for each.
How on earth would Kerry pay for everyone to have healthcare, two chickens in every pot and have us pay to protect his investments, all without raising our taxes? It makes you wonder why anyone with his wealth, would take a salary of that of a U.S. Senator, or of a President?
Please pass the Mustard and if it is Heinz, check the label.....it was probably made in Mexico. I say keep Bush in the White House and let Kerry pay for his own houses.
Unbelievble! Tah-ray-za is OUTSOURCING their R& R party after the election ! I guess the United States is not good enough. Go to a country that continualy insults us. Well, maybe with the French getting all that extra money from the Oil For Food program they can afford to "keep up the palaces."
I've said it before..Tah-Ray-Za is our best PR weapon of mass destruction.ha. ha.
Uh, no, I'm pretty sure I heard my 6yo singing those same lyrics under his breath the other day while he worked on his unified field theory.
Well, okay, yes. I would have thought:
"Head chef of the French tourism and villa rental bureau, M. Jacques Chirac, was on hand to witness the historic signing of the lease for the Kerry-Heinz's Versailles II.*** "With all this stylish and historic moment," M. Chirac stated, "The grandeur of France's ever-deepening relationship with the Democratic Party is illuminated once again. I am looking forward to many strolls and romps in the grounds of Versailles II with Teresa, as well as a number of private and tender interludes with her recently worn shoes."
would have been a dead giveaway, but I threw in the poodle and corgi costumes just to make sure.
And I also tagged it as, among other things, "humor."
Still, it is an outcome devoutly to be wished, n'cest pas?
Cute! I thought it was very funny.
But Teresa is more like Mad Ludwig than any of the French monarchs.
Yes it does
Oh...a parody? Where do you see that? Sorry, it sounded credible to me.
It's a blogger, read the rest of their site.
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
M. Jaques Chiraq wants to have tender interludes with her shoes? Six courses of WINE? I think it's a joke. Though I have to admit that the idea of them having the recreational white house be in France is a delicious idea.
ping
The sad part of this is that none of us could figure out if this was true or not. This whole story sounds just too likely, except for the lease until Jan 31.
ROFL! I hope that the lease allows for extensions. I don't think Mssr. and Mdme. will desire to return to the USA any time soon. ;o)
LOL. Good one.
Since it is ol' Mama T one can't be too hard on those who fell for it.
ya know, there's that part of me that wonders what she would be like as a firstlady... it certainly would be funny if it weren't so dangerous to have mrheinz as president
"You have to say something to all those little people without enough sense to either vote for my husband or let their children gambol about naked," Mrs. Kerry-Heinz quipped
That too sounds too "likely" LOL
The tipoff that the story was humor was the description of "eleven full baths and three half-baths". Everyone knows that French palaces, like every other joint in France has one common bath at the end of the hall. Bidets in every room, though.
The Ketchup Queen is back!
Actually, she bought it used...
Joe Sixpack's Motel 6
I wrote a little note in the comment section of the "AmericanDigest". I knew it was too good to be true, but it was a half-second happy thought. LOL.
I really do have two friends who tell me they're moving to Canada if Bush is re-elected. I seriously doubt it as her children are all within a day's drive and she adores her grandchildren.
But I'm going to hand her a road map on November 3rd with a route already highlighted.
I was hoping they'd go until January 31, 2017.
Say, when Kerry loses, isn't he still a Senator?
If he wasn't so scary, she might be sort of fun in a very bad way. LOL!!!!
Great blog, BTW.
Thank you. I appreciate that. Free Republic is a tough crowd to please. I just want to stay on their right side.
LOL; for sure. . .
How do they say in French...Teresa kiss my ass?.....
Something along the order of 'Besse mon cul."
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.