Kerry Edwards Healing Cloth *Humor*

hawaii-politics website ^ | 10/12/2004 | Cap'n TrVth

[Capn TrVth]

John Cornepone Edwards:

"We will stop juvenile diabetes, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and other debilitating diseases. When John Kerry is president." -Or me and my Lawyer buds will sue the PANTS of the Doctors that fail to cure these diseases.

[Capn TrVth]

Please for a love offering of only $10 Dollars get your Healing Cloth, because John Kerry and I can heal all sickness if elected. And you won't ever be broke or hungry, or lonely or depressed! Order YOURS now!

[Eric in the Ozarks]

He'll never live this down. 25 years from now, people will ask if he was able to lay on hands...

[TheDoctorNoh]

This is good stuff...

But in all seriousness, as the son of a man who died of Lou Gherig's disease (terminal, no known cause or cure), if I heard Edwards spouting these scurrilous claims, I'd want to punch his lying a$$!!!

[rineaux]

HOW MUCH, HOW MUCH? Will it clear us of the kerry-edwards ticket forever?? Or is it just another bullshi# scam?

[ErnBatavia]

(Permission to add one word??)

I'd want to punch his lying SMARMY a$$!!!

[Wneighbor]

And, I've got your back. He's got it coming.

[Fiddlstix]

PING

(Ya gotta see this. It's just too good.)

[Capn TrVth]

I thought long and hard about it -before- I made the image and posted it, (knowing it was somewhat distasteful) -And then I thought about how hollow, rhetorical and crass Edward's statement was, and I figured a parody couldn't be any worse.

The campaign promise season drive me nuts...

Bush is Promising the same stuff he's been delivering and that's good enough for me.

Kerry and Edwards are in full-on PANDER mode.

[joesnuffy]

THE SEVENTH SON

Johnny Rivers for

Johnny Edwards and Johnny Kerry

Everybody talkin' 'bout the seventh son
In the whole wide world there is only one

And I'm the one, I'm the one
I'm the one, I'm the one
The one they call the seventh son

I can tell your future, it will come to pass
I can do things to you make your heart feel glad
Look in the sky, predict the rain
Tell when a woman's got another man

I'm the one, oh I'm the one
I'm the one, I'm the one
The one they call the seventh son

I can talk these words that will sound so sweet
They will even make your little heart skip a beat
Heal the sick, raise the dead
Make the little girls talk outta their heads

I'm the one, oh I'm the one
I'm the one, I'm the one
The one they call the seventh son

------ lead guitar ------

I can talk these words that will sound so sweet
They will even make your little heart skip a beat
Heal the sick, raise the dead
And make the little girls talk outta their heads

I'm the one, oh I'm the one
I'm the one, I'm the one
The one they call the seventh son

I'm the one, hey, hey
I'm the one
Oh, I'm the one, babe
Oooo, I'm the one
I'm the one, I'm the one
The one they call the seventh son
I'm the one, I'm the one
The one they call the seventh son

[mombrown1]

You guys are good. Freepers are great.

[Cobra64]

Sounds like a candidate for a 308 injection.

[Verginius Rufus]

Juvenal diabetes?

I've read some of Juvenal's satires...I didn't know he had diabetes.

[GSlob]

Are there instructions enclosed? Does one wrap the sufferer in it or use it as a tablecloth? What about the warranty against misuse, abuse or commercial use?

[OH Swing Voter]

FALSE hope is on the way!!!

[JoJo Gunn]

[Capn TrVth]

"I've read some of Juvenal's satires...I didn't know he had diabetes."

I'm not sure I know what you mean by "Juvenal" Diabetes ;>

[fuzzycat]

That's great !! Used to play that song with the rock-n-roll band I had when I was young. I'm the One, I'm the one .LOL !!

[Verginius Rufus]

Could have sworn it read "Juvenal"...does the Healing Cloth also cure poor eyesight?

[Capn TrVth]

I was yankin' yer doodle ;>

I went in and fixed the typo... Thanks!!!

[Verginius Rufus]

I knew that...it said "Juvenal" before it didn't say "Juvenal."