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Posted on 10/20/2004 1:03:13 PM PDT by Constitution Day
Kerry's Senate Record Is a 78 Played at 33 RPM
by James Lileks
In his recent speech in New Jersey, President Bush hammered on John Kerry's Senate record. Such as it is. It's like taking a blacksmith's hammer to a sheet of tinfoil. Can't get any thinner.
Granted, the bare bones of a voting record don't tell the whole story. Saying someone "voted against a weapon system" can be misleading. A parsimonious senator might have voted against a bill declaring May 2nd National Mandatory Spam Consumption Day because it had a rider adding $20 billion to develop robot sharks with laser-beam eyes. While such weapons might be handy, a senator may wish to address the issue separately from the issue of spurious meat. You have to look at the details, in other words.
Say what you will about Bush, the record is clear and blunt and simple.
Taliban: gone. Saddam: gone. Tax cuts: booyah! Deficit: (cough). No Child Left Behind still strikes most as a catch-phrase and a talking point. Prescription drug entitlement hasn't quite penetrated the national consciousness. Perhaps the most vivid part of his record: 9/11 wasn't followed by 5/25 or 2/03. We know what Bush has done, in other words.
An examination of Kerry's record shows that he's done very little in two decades. Bush says Kerry passed five bills. Kerry says he passed 56.
Well, according to FactCheck.org, a Web site run by the University of Pennsylvania's Annenberg Public Policy Center, the story is a bit different. Kerry authored seven bills that passed, co-authored four, and co-authored four joint resolutions.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact it almost seems counterintuitive for a Republican to hammer a Democrat for insufficient legislating. Imagine if he had belonged to the Bill of the Month Club:
S. 146 -- Changed the generally accepted pronunciation of "Genghis Khan" to "Jen-jis."
S. 189 -- Petioned the International Olympic Committee to include the 30-meter medal toss as a recognized event.
S. 346 -- Congratulated Dick Cheney on his daughter's birthday, and let the Congressional Record show she's a lesbian.
You'd expect such things from an average senator. We don't expect the Senate to generate good ideas. Senators are the great mediators.
The Senate is the saucer in which the nation's passions are cooled, then dribbled out onto the tablecloth and blotted up by the servants who apologize even though they didn't spill the coffee. It's a millionaire's club whose occupants run the range from ancient steam-powered devices like Robert Byrd, to Mark Dayton, the Minnesota newbie who made headlines when he rabbited out of D.C., citing a fortune cookie message that could have been construed as a terrorist warning.
There are guys like John Edwards, who breeze in for a term, make serious faces on a few committees, and appear to enjoy being a senator in the sense that Gidget enjoyed being a girl. There are serious types like Daniel Moynihan, the gold standard for steel-trap intellect and decency. Then there are the Kerrys.
So what did he do? He authored a save-the-dolphins bill that he might have withdrawn if the dolphins had ever come out against the Sandinistas. He took co-authorship credit on several "joint resolutions," including one to make Oct. 22-28, 1989, "World Population Awareness Week." Remember that? All the parties, the street festivals, the lovely collectible snowdomes? Good times. And it was such a success, he co-authored another joint resolution in 1991, just to recapture the magic. There were two other joint resolutions to establish more special days, both in 1992 -- which means he hasn't even come up with one of those rote ceremonial flourishes in 12 years.
Again: Thank you, Sen. Kerry, for not doing any more damage than you might have done. But if one is going to insist that one has fought for working families, fought for health care, fought for defense, it might be helpful to show where one led the charge. Otherwise, "fighting" sounds a lot like nodding your head as the parade goes by, and imagining you're the guy with the baton.
Incidentally, John Kerry has a plan to strengthen America's parades. And he'll fight for it.
Oct. 20, 2004
This one thing has nearly driven me insane; why on EARTH does he pronouce that that way???
I don't know, but in the words of Owl_Eagle:
"I didn't like it when he compared our troops to Jen-jis Khan.
I don't like his stance on jun control.
And I think John Kerry is jonna jet me killed."
Owl_Eagle
”Guns Before Butter.”
He's trying to sound like a pretentious a$$hole.
With pleasure!
And succeeding.
His speech pattern has changed completely since that time. I think he was giving his impression of what a proper Boston Brahmin should sound like, absurd pronunciations and all.
Because, of course, if you are descended from the oldest families in Massachusetts you would not expect to speak the language in the same manner as the newcomers of the last six or seven generations do.
It's the French pronunciation.
"a 78 played at 33rpm" now thats some hip lingo that kids will relate to!
LOL.
Lileks is not writing for kids, and he's a big nostalgia buff, so that may explain his use of such a metaphor.
I'd like to be added.
He is correct about it being better to not have Kerry in he "bill of the month club." I like a do nothing Congress for the most part.
Kerry takes that theme however to new heights.
He is a pretentious a$$hole!
If I hear him say (one more time) that it's "time for a fresh start"....I think I'll ralph. Kerry is about as "fresh" as a three-day-old tuna fish sandwich left outside in a metal lunchbox.
BTTT
Part of a nuanced evolution of speaking style.
He briefly toyed with emulating Chatsworth Osborne, Jr., but would much have preferred Milton Armitage; alas, Dobie Gillis characters were a little too obscure, so he decided to go Gilligan.
Remember that when they play a larger cut of that quote (more on this later), he sounds quite a bit like Thurston Howell III. This is because he thought that that's how we proles think "wealthy" or "Boston" or "wealthy Boston" people sound. Or maybe he was just preparing for the inevitable day when the Botox migrates south and stiffens up his jawline. In any case, fellow protesters took him out behind the Dumpster and gave him a wedgie for sounding like such a goofy fop.
Fast-forward to 2002, the start of running for office in 2004. We conservatives are comforted by listening to "recordings" of FDR on "cassette tapes" giving his fireside chats, right? Well, then, he was speaking that way so that we, when recording his speeches for our children, would have an easy go of it.
Now, sounding like FDR is apparently too much effort, "Four Score and Seven Years Ago, I was in Vietnam....yadda yadda yadda," so there is not much of an accent left. Either that, or Terayzah took him out behind the Dumpster and gave him a wedgie for sounding like such a goofy fop.
And -- FWIW -- I think it's a hoot that they keep playing this clip. Keeps the silliness out there, ya know? ;o)
This guy is a riot. Please add me to the ping list!
You have both been added!
Regards,
CD
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