Posted on 10/30/2004 10:37:37 AM PDT by CedarDave
"Mr. Butterbur! Mr Butterbur! There's a guy hding under some rocks out in the woods and he's gettin' over on us!"
Only some of the high tech nuclear areas have tight outside perimeter security. Inside the lab its missing tapes, unaccounted for computer hard drives, etc.
A very wealthy 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual checkup.
The doctor asks him how he's feeling.
The 80 year-old said, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride
who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor then begins, "I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never
misses. Once in a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of
his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside
the stream of water. He raised his umbrella and went, 'Bang, bang.' and the
beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."
The doctor replied....."My point exactly."
Hee, hee.
HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, "THAT'S
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND,"
WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.
BUT JUST BEFORE HE REENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE
ENIGMATIC REMARK "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."
MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGH IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK
CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT. HOWEVER, UPON
CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR
AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS. OVER THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE
QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE "GOOD LUCK, MR.
GORSKY" STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST
SMILED.
ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE
ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER
BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION TO ARMSTRONG. THIS
TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED. MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO
NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD ANSWER THE QUESTION.
IN 1938 WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MIDWEST TOWN, HE
WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD.
HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS
NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THE BEDROOM WINDOWS. HIS NEIGHBORS
WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY. AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP
THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING
AT MR. GORSKY.
"SEX! YOU WANT SEX? YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT
DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"
TRUE STORY.
I have to admire a fellow who, despite his unfortunate moniker, was able to make something of his life worthy of pride and satisfaction. It seems that he occupied the land for less than the statutory period for adverse possession, but perhaps the DOE could grant a license or a $1 lease to the guy.
oh, you are bad.
An 80 year old gent went in to his doctor one Friday morning.
The doctor asked him what the complaint was.
The spry old gent denied any problems, but went on to explain that he needed some Viagra.
"Doc," he said, "I'll be seeing my girlfriend tonight, and I'm getting a little old to keep up with college girls, so I'll need some Viagra for tonight. Then I'll be seeing my longtime mistress tomorrow night, and I expect I'll be a little tired from Friday night, so I'll need some Viagra for tomorrow night. Finally, on Sunday I'll be making my wife happy, and, honestly, she's so wizened and withered I just couldn't be of any use to her without some help, so I'll need some Viagra for Sunday night."
The docter looked at the man, shrugged, and wrote out the prescription for three night's worth of Viagra.
On Monday morning, the doctor was surprised to see the 80 year old man in his waiting room, with his arm in a sling.
"What happened to you?" the doctor asked.
The old man replied, "No one showed up"
ROTFLMAO.......Now that's just funny I don't care who ya are...all them pygmies starvin 'n such or somethin to that effect ......
yep - wimminzes an' chillunzes hit hardest. allus happens 'at way.
Great Tagline!
Jokes are good too
You doing O.K.?
Oh yeah....just riding this last 48 hrs out and living the last one over again thanks to DST thang.......you ?
Hanging in there, working lots of OT lately and just waiting for Tuesday so We can get on with the lawsuit crap.
I fear that this will be worse than 2000 was...
Landslide........GW.........Will leave MSM with MUD on their faces IMO. Enough Electoral College numbers are in GW's column as of today......
Who knows what happens tomorrow or Monday to change the course of history. I'll be at work so will have to find out around midnight Tuesday myself.
Stay safe......it's almost two ....again. I'm off to get some sleep !
Well just pull the wings off the rest of my flies......:o)
Gheeeesh !
Stay safe !
Agreed, but that won't stop the left & lawyerscum
Well just pull the wings off the rest of my flies......:o)
LOL!
Hope for the best Tuesday! (at least 325 EV's)
An old man goes into a confessional at a Catholic church. He tells the priest, "I'm 80 years old and I've got a 20-year old girlfriend who's an underwear model."
The priest says, "Mr. Cohen, you're Jewish -- why are you telling me this?
The old man replies, "heck, I'm telling *everyone*!"
Three Samurai warriors are arguing over who is the best swordsman.
A housefly buzzes by, and the first Samurai draws and swings his sword, and the fly drops to the ground dead, cut cleanly in half.
Another housefly comes along, and the second Samurai draws his sword and swings, and the fly drops to the ground wingless but otherwise unharmed, and walks away.
Yet another housefly buzzes along, and the third Samurai draws his sword and swishes it through the air... and the fly keeps cruising along and flies out of the room.
The first Samurai raises his eyebrows, and the third Samurai explains, "...but it will never mate again."
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