Skip to comments.
Campus Columnist Makes Sex Threats Against Conservative Women (My title)
The Miami Student Online ^
| November 4, 2004
| Steve Markley
Posted on 11/04/2004 1:08:30 PM PST by Alexander Nevsky
|
|
|
|
|
|
>Media bias Enacting revenge through sex By Steve Markley Reactionary ideologue Ann Coulter is coming to Miami next week courtesy of the College Republicans, which is this columnists dream come true.
However, the good Lord didnt see fit to set the date of this column for after her visit, so Ill just have to improvise. If Bush can go to war before he knows whats going on in a country, then I can take on Coulter before she actually says anything. So here is what my column would look like anyway had I written it after seeing Ms. Coulter: Two conclusions can be drawn from Ann Coulters speech before a sold-out audience at Miami this week. First, she is right-wing, bat-sh** crazy.
Ann Coulter makes Bill OReilly look like Martin Luther King Jr.
During her speech I sat in the front row, close enough to smell her breath wafting at me with the strong odor of vodka, vomit and Valiumclose enough that I had to explain over and over again to nearby friends the definition of a "camel toe." During her speech she made a strong stand against abortion, which makes sense because an aborted fetus does her no good.
She needs the flesh of lives babies for her sustenance.
She went on to (surprisingly) blame liberals for every bad thing to ever happen in American history. Shrieking like a lunatic, she made it clear that she values her own opinion far more than that silly liberal conspiracy known as "history." She is a Joe McCarthy apologist. Thats right, the man whose name has come to stand for everything paranoid,fearful and tyrannical about American government was "actually" the victim of liberal academics and media. Man, the things they dont teach you in HST 112.
Let me explain something quickly: I have a dream a goal, really to attempt to have sex with as many female right-wing pundits and icons as I can.
Why, you ask? Because I want to wake up the next day, tell them Ill call them soon, and then immediately delete the phone number from my cell.
Think about it. I could finally get back at conservative talk radio host, Laura Ingraham, not by debating her with sharp political insight, but simply by sleeping with her, and when she calls telling her, "Sorry, Im sort of busy tonight. Theres a lot of you aging but mildly bone-able right wing nutjobs out there whose feelings I have to hurt."
Then there are the Bush twins. Sweet God, what I wouldnt give.
Imagine if I boffed a Bush daughter? Every time I ran into Bush I could give him this sly little wink and shoot my finger at him like he does when he glosses over the incredible fallacies in his foreign and domestic policies.
Hed have to restrain a scowl and smile back, but deep inside hed be thinking, "Thats the major league asshole who did Jenna on my bed."
This is my only true ambition in life. However, Ive decided Ann Coulter is where I draw the line. If I wanted that experience Id simply dip my genitals in a jar of acid. Therefore, my second conclusion is this: There arent enough left-wing revenge fantasies in the world to get me to have sex with Ann Coulter. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: anncoulter
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20, 21-40, 41-60, 61-80 ... 161-162 next last
To: Alexander Nevsky
IDEA:
DO dip your genitals in a jar of acid.
Re-focus that wailing to a MUCH better cause.
RLTW
To: Alexander Nevsky
Note to Steve Markley: Conservative women like real men, not girlie men like you.
Have a great day!
42
posted on
11/04/2004 1:21:09 PM PST
by
DennisR
(Look around - God is giving you plenty of hints that He exists...)
To: Alexander Nevsky
Another class act liberal.
Trash is what they're all about.
To: xJones
No sense contacting the paper itself...their editorial staff approved it. Better to go right to the top of the administration, if that does any good.
44
posted on
11/04/2004 1:22:19 PM PST
by
Bob J
(Rightalk.com...coming soon!)
To: atomicpossum
It would have to be a shallow jar.
blessings, bobo
45
posted on
11/04/2004 1:22:20 PM PST
by
bobo1
To: Tulane
46
posted on
11/04/2004 1:22:21 PM PST
by
Calusa
(Misunderstimattitude.)
To: MKM1960
He was so happy when his right hand started fighting with the Left over his attentions. Never felt so loved before that.
To: Kidan
And they're the party of the little people....Perhaps that's why he can only write about having sex.
48
posted on
11/04/2004 1:22:31 PM PST
by
Former Dodger
(Congrats on 4 MORE YEARS< Mr. President! Now let's FLATTEN FALLUJAH!)
Any chance that we could get a picture, and/or other useful information about this bum?
In case law enforcement is curious, that is....
49
posted on
11/04/2004 1:22:34 PM PST
by
RandallFlagg
(FReepers, Do NOT let the voter fraud stories die!!!!)
To: justshutupandtakeit
No decent lady would look twice at this idiot not even when putting quarters in his tin cup.Every woman he dates should have a copy of this column mailed to her. He concedes at the end of his article that revenge is what makes him tick.
To: Alexander Nevsky
Don't mind Steve, he's just frustrated because his bottle of hand lotion filed for divorce.
51
posted on
11/04/2004 1:23:29 PM PST
by
asgardshill
(Bad Liberal - No Kool Aid)
To: areafiftyone
"I think the secret service should be notified about this digusting PIG!"
DONE. The telephones still work out here and my friend was still in the office. But he's too much of a pro to provide me with an after-action report.....
52
posted on
11/04/2004 1:23:39 PM PST
by
tracer
(Forrest)
To: Alexander Nevsky
I think he's aiming a little high, for his "first time."
Maybe he should start with Charles Krauthammer and work his way up.
To: Alexander Nevsky
As my southern grandmother always said of such folks....he sure thinks a lot of hisself.
To: Alexander Nevsky
Why can't Mr. Markley be content with a left wing slut?
Because he can't "do" any of them either. He lives in a fantasy world.
To: Alexander Nevsky
On Ebay:
Just his size I bet.
56
posted on
11/04/2004 1:25:15 PM PST
by
frithguild
(Election 2004 - Many Nights of the Broken Glass)
To: meyer
Now, that's the ultimate expression by the Left with regard to the opposition, "F*** You!". But why did Steve Malarkey (OOPS, Steve Markley) limit his efforts to women? Isn't the left enamored of equal opportunity? Is Steve just taking his lead from John F*g Kerry?
To: dirtboy
Right, and he could consider himself extremely lucky that the Secret Service got to him before the Prez.
58
posted on
11/04/2004 1:26:17 PM PST
by
old3030
(Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped -- Elbert Hubbard)
To: Alexander Nevsky
When you look like this guy all you can do is "dream" about having sex.
To: Alexander Nevsky
This scummy childish filth is allowable in college papers?
Disregard the vile sick threats - just the casual euphemisms for casually sticking your member anywhere you want is disgusting.
Again shows that "collegiate" is hardly the same thing as it was 100 years ago. Men were expected to act and write like men, not sick twisted self-absorbed licentious hedonistic children.
What a crappy society we're creating.
60
posted on
11/04/2004 1:26:55 PM PST
by
the OlLine Rebel
(Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20, 21-40, 41-60, 61-80 ... 161-162 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson