Judge Elihu Smails (from "Caddyshack") Buffoon of the Week Award Winner Named (CO-WINNERS!!!)

www.crushkerry.com ^ | 11/5/04 | www.crushkerry.com

[crushkerry]

Who? Judge Elihu Smails, the character in the film Caddyshack who asks of the obnoxious but lovable Al Czervick (played by Rodney Dangerfield), “good Lord, what has this buffoon done now?”

As a special tribute to Judge Smails, every week we will issue this award to the biggest buffoon of the week … the person who, through his or her actions or public statements, has made a buffoon of themselves and everyone associated with them. Please note that since we slam Kerry on a daily basis, and he could win every week,he and his family are ineligible for this prestigeous award. We also ask Kerry Crushers to send in your nominations (no limits, so keep them coming). All we ask is that you tell us why you’re nominating the person, and include a link to any relevant stories.

Thanks to all the Kerry Crushers who sent in nominations for this week's award. For the first time in history we are proud to announce co-winners of this prestigious award. And really it's only fitting, given that these two aged news fossils share the same tired, elitist, pedantic traits. Both also believe that what they say actually matters, and cannot get over the fact that in these modern times their stupidity is going to be challenged because they no longer have a monopoly on the media.

So without further adieu we present the award to the doddering old fools Walter "Pinko" Cronkite (as Archie Bunker referred to him on All in the Family, and Bill "It's a Coup I Tell You" Moyers. Our only concern is that these two have such huge, insufferable egos that they may gum each other to death fighting over it.

First though, let's discuss Pinko Cronkite, because moment of buffoonery came earlier in the week. The night prior to the election he was on the Larry King (speaking of fossils) Show. When asked about the Osama Bin Laden campaign ad for Kerry that aired over the weekend, the (formerly) "Most Trusted Man in America" said: "I'm inclined to think that Karl Rove, the political manager at the White House, who is a very clever man, he probably set up bin Laden to this thing." .

Please, someone get him back to the institution. We don't know where to start with this foolishness. God, even Michael Moore wouldn't believe this would he?

But this is not the first time the newsreader has shown his IQ to be in single digits. Earlier this year you wrote an open letter to John Kerry advising him to trumpet his liberalism, and took Dukakis to task for not doing so. Gee, after seeing this past election result, as well as 1988's, we could see just how in touch you are with America now can't we?

You've also showed your out of touch, Upper West Side Elitism earlier this year when you referred to liberals as "broad-minded" and "unprejudiced" while claiming the antonym (i.e. conservative) was defined as "reactionary" and "intolerant." Perhaps. We are intolerant of buffoons like you.

Later in the week the sanctimonious snob Bill Moyers topped off a lifetime of buffoonery on Election night. While on TV Moyers was crying in his beer (and hopefully not driving home afterwards) over the election results. One could read the utter disgust on his face that we peons and common folk had, like we did in 1984, elected this unintelligent boob who was not near as smart as people like him.

But old Bill didn't stop there. We think he was kind of relieved. Why? Because he stated that if conservatives didn't win they would stage a coup.

Yes, Bill, we were all just over the hill ready to storm the gates if Ohio didn't do the right thing. Good thing we didn't have to, we were really loaded for bear. We weren't going to stop there either. We were going to invade Canada just to be safe. But look on the bright side, if we did stage a coup, you could really put fear into people's hearts by saying we were going to re-start the draft.

Let's also not forget that this "impartial" journalist has been described as a bag man for the hate America fifth column. And no one has done more to expose Moyers for the raging lefty fruitcake that he is than Stephen Hayes of The Weekly Standard.

So there you have it folks. Two winners, both of whom think the world revolves around them and their buffoonish opinions. One thing that's great about the internet and cable. No longer are we forced, Soviet Style, to have these fringe figures preach to us every night because there's nothing else on. They haven't got that yet, and never will. But they did get the Judge Smails Buffoon Of the Week Award. They'll have to be happy with it.

Past Winners:

Ted "I Killed a Woman Once" Kennedy
Eddie "UN Inspectors in Florida" Bernice Johnson
Kendrick "Johnny Soprano" Meek
Howard "The Terror Alerts Are Political" Dean
Bruce "I'm a Washed Up Bush Hater" Springsteen
Chrissy "I Squat To Pee" Matthews
Al "HE BETRAYED US!!!!!" Gore
Dan "What's The Forgery, Kenneth?" Rather
Joe "Allawi's a Puppet" Lockhart
Charlie "I Voted For the Draft-Before I Voted Against It" Rangel
Jimmy "The Revolutionary War Was Unnecessary" Carter

[crushkerry]

Ping

[KevinDavis]

Is there going to be buffoon of the year award???

[martin_fierro]

There really should be a golden graven award.

[silverleaf]

TerAYza "I really don't know this man we've only been married 9 years" Heinz-Kerry

[backinthefold]

As I channel surfed during the commercial breaks on Fox election night, I came upon Chris Matthews...

 

Thanks to you guys, all I could think of when I saw his face, was "He squats to pee"

 

not really the mental picture I wanted that night

[proudpapa]

I think people would have been up in arms, literally if, in the still of the night Kerry had stolen Ohio.

[wizr]

I'd like to nominate whover it was that told Edward's wife to wait until after the election to take care of that little "cancer" problem.

[KarlInOhio]

[Cronkite]said: "I'm inclined to think that Karl Rove, the political manager at the White House, who is a very clever man, he probably set up bin Laden to this thing." .

Earlier this year you wrote an open letter to John Kerry advising him to trumpet his liberalism, and took Dukakis to task for not doing so.

No one is this stupid and out of touch. The only thing I can figure is that Karl Rove set this up. :-)

[leftcoaster]

"Well, the world needs ditch-diggers too."

[sticker]

I disagree, I know this sounds cold and terrible but if she had made the announcement before the election the sympathy vote for kerry/edwards would have been staggering. So that goodness she waited

[Old North State]

"Well, the world needs ditch-diggers too."


Which reminds me of the old National Lampoon line, "A strong back is a terrible thing to waste"

[wizr]

You are "wright" of course.

It just proves that the Kerry campaign would sacrifice anything, or anyone, to gain their goal.

I pray she survives and gets a better life, away from her troll husband.

[kevkrom]

I'm blanking on the name, but shouldn't there at least be a special dishonorable mention for the hyena who called Swift Vet O'Neill a "liar" about 50 times in 3 minutes?

[crushkerry]

Larry O'Donnell. Wow, you're right, we missed him. Maybe we'll update later on to add him. Thanks.