No, Canada! (United States of Canada vs. Jesusland)

Boston.com ^ | November 6, 2004 | Alex Beam

[spyone]

You have probably heard the idle chatter: ''I'm thinking of moving to Canada." You may have received the JPEG Sent 'Round the World, labeling the northern part of North America -- the right-thinking part, as liberals would have it -- as the United States of Canada, and the pro-Bush leaning ''red" US states as Jesusland

It sounds so alluring. Good beer. Cheap Viagra. Hardly any crime. Friendly, if somewhat ineffectual, people. Terrific, if underappreciated, novelists. (This means you, Rohinton Mistry.) Secure borders, courtesy of the US Department of Defense.

But before you pack, consider this: There are plenty of reasons not to move to Canada. Let me count the ways.

1. They don't really want you. Canada is full of losers like you. If you're really rich, or a brain surgeon, maybe. But if you are, say, a newspaper reporter, be prepared to wait at least a year just to live there legally, and several more years to become a citizen.

If you have some special qualifications, like a PhD, plus a lot of work experience, and if you are under 50, you have a better chance of crashing the gates of Snow Mexico. Or if you're loaded. That's right. If you have a net worth of $800,000 Canadian or more, and are willing to invest $400,000 of it in Canada, come on in! And you thought George Bush's America was a plutocracy. . . . Think again.

[KMC1]

I saw this stupid map yesterday on a blog - ridiculous!

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Seen that graphic, but can anyone post it for those who might not have?

[Mr. Mojo]

Secure borders, courtesy of the US Department of Defense.

Not secure from Islamists. In fact, due to their lax immigration laws, that place is teeming with them.

[RandallFlagg]

On the contrary. Watching the left disintegrate like this brings a great warmth to my heart.

[Mears]

A good article-----let them go to Canada and see how they like it.

[don-o]

Canadian beer is way overrated.

[Rocko]

Well, there's always Cuba -- Fidel is always looking for a few good cane-pickers -- and their music is good!

[trashcanbred]

In the article: And you can't even name its national sport, can you? What if that question is on the citizenship application?

Isn't it Curling?? With the brooms and stones?

[captcanada]

[image noborder]http://westernstandard.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/exilemap.jpg[/image]

[RandallFlagg]

[WinOne4TheGipper]

That's not it. I'll go see if any of those nuts at DU has posted it recently.

[Rocko]

Isn't it Curling?? With the brooms and stones?

I remember SCTV's "Monday Night Curling" sketch with John Candy -- I thought it had to be a joke (as I had first thought Tiny Tim was Dick Martin in drag). How wrong I was.

[captcanada]

http://westernstandard.blogs.com/shotgun/images/exilemap.jpg

[bahblahbah]

Someone needs to remake that map showing just the city states joining up with canada.

[Free_at_last_-2001]

Don't discourage them!!! Let them go, just don't let them back!

[penowa]

Why is the Boston paper trying to discourage them? If they are one of the "unwanteds" without big bucks, pack up the SUV and drive on over and become an illegal. If you get caught, demand that the Canadian gov't give you welfare and a court date before an immigration judge to appear in a year or so just like they do all those people who de-plane with no ID. Then if you show up in court, tell the judge you must be permitted to stay because the people from Jesusland will get you if he sends you home. That should do it.

[mad_as_he$$]

Recently Budweiser became the number one beer in Canuck land.

[cripplecreek]

They'll have to leave because Im not leaving my "blue state" because people in Detroit don't like the president.

[WinOne4TheGipper]

That's it. And to think, I was looking for it in that cesspool known as DU. You do NOT want to go over there right now.

[FredZarguna]

There they go again, trying to grab things that don't belong to them. Use the county map Dems. You get some slivers on the coast and along the Mississippi. You sure don't get most of PA, NY, WI, IL and MN.

More revealing to me: they think "Jesus" is a perjorative.

[unspun]

As the ol' song goes...

"You can have all the world, give me Jesus."

So be it.

[RandallFlagg]

Here ya go.

[WinOne4TheGipper]

I don't think even that will help.:)

[Mears]

I'm in Massachusetts to stay,also. Someone has to keep an eye on things.

[Sparky1776]

That and aren't a few of Canada's western provinces conservative? Don't they belong in "Jesusland"?

[Grampa Dave]

Some one should post this paragraph at DU and other rat blog sites"

"Canada = Good beer. Cheap Viagra. Hardly any crime. Friendly, if somewhat ineffectual, people. Terrific, if underappreciated, novelists. (This means you, Rohinton Mistry.) Secure borders, courtesy of the US Department of Defense.

[FredZarguna]

You'll need this more, although the only way to cleanse your mind will be to come back here to FR.

[Sparky1776]

Ditto!

[ILS21R]

They don't really want you. Canada is full of losers like you.

Sometimes the truth hurts.

[RandallFlagg]

How about this?

[mollynme]

A lib acquaintance sent this to me with the title "Where to move to". She got quite upset with me when I asked her if she needed help packing. LOL

[FredZarguna]

Yeah, I'm not sure how many of the people in Alberta and BC would want to be part of the Democratic People's Republic of Turtle Island ^TM.

On thing's for sure, after they leave, I want BLUE back for the good guys.

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Better yet, we'll force everyone in the blue areas up into New England and let Canada have that in exchange for Alberta, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, British Columbia, Nunavat, Northwest Territories, and Yukon Territory.

[cripplecreek]

If anyone tried to annex Michigan to Canada we would make the insurgency in Iraq look like a plyground scuffle. They don't call us Militiagan for nuthin.

[netmilsmom]

I think they could redo that map to just include Detroit and leave the rest of MI alone.
My county Macomb, went red, most of the state did. It would be easier to just cut off Detroit. If you include all of Wayne then Downriver (which went red) would have to go too.

[airborne]

That map is horrible. Couldn't they cut a path up between Pittsburgh and Philly so I can be in Jesusland?

[WinOne4TheGipper]

That's better.

[timestax]

[KwasiOwusu]

"Canadian beer is way overrated"

Canadian beer is rubbish.
As is their health care system.
But hey, nothing will please me more than to have those loony left losers pack their bags and hightail it to the great frozen north beyond. Its like having Christmas twice. Very good riddance I say.

[Sparky1776]

Perhaps somebody can merge this Canadian Liberal/Conservative map with this Jesusland map?

http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/_/viewer.aspx?path=4/45/&name=Can2004.PNG

[Miles from Tulia]

Today’s Drudge Report has a Reuters news item, “Americans Flock to Canada’s Immigration Web site,” The spin by this “news” service (Reuters) is that Americans, going to this site, want to become Canadians because they are so disappointed with the outcome of Tuesday’s election.

I doubt their spin, but let’s examine the benefits we (and Canada) will enjoy if the “Blame America First Crowd” (or “BAFC“) pick up their marbles, and move to Canada. Naturally, they will want to go to Quebec and learn French, so that they can feel even closer to the American-hating Jaques Cherac and his pals.

1) First, the average IQ of Americans and that of the citizens of Quebec will both increase -- tremendously. This BAFC would have to include most of the dumbest Americans who, when they arrived in Quebec, would still be smarter than those who allowed them to come there.

2) Most of the BAFC lives in the blue areas of the United States so, when these people move to Canada, opposition to their ideas will increase in the blue areas and give other members of the BAFC a reason to join their friends, who first moved to Canada. (And it would be nice if they took the United Nations Headquarters with them.)

3) As more and more of the BAFC move north, they will add to the strength of the Canadian socialists. And as the socialists and their BAFC friends get stronger, many conservative Canadians will be forced to leave the Canada they (used to) love, and move south where the environment is more friendly. (Which would cause the average IQ of Canadians to drop, even further.)

Forty years ago, the same thing happened to the Democrats. They compared themselves to a “big tent,” that could satisfy all voters, no matter how liberal or conservative those voters might be. Republicans also tried to be a “big tent;” thus was born the saying, “Not a Dime’s Worth of Difference” between parties.

But while the Democrats talked a “great game,” their efforts were concentrated toward the wants of the liberals, from whom Democrats obtained most of their power and influence. And as they did so, the most liberal “extremists” joined their cause, which changed the environment, formerly enjoyed by conservative Democrats.

Thus, the Democrats forced many of their former “conservative Democrat” members to move, and become some of the best Republicans, we have today.

Forty years ago, Texas was part of the Democrat’s “Solid South.” From the end of the Civil War, and Reconstruction) only two Republicans had represented Texas in Congress -- US Representative Bruce Alger and Senator John Tower.

I met a young Texas legislator who, in 1966, was switching to the Republican Party and running for Congress, as a Republican. His name was Bill Archer. Bill, now retired, was Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, for many years -- and I had the pleasure of being represented by him for much of his tenure.

So I say, to the BAFC. You are free to move to Canada, if you want to. I hope you never live to regret your decision. And while you are in Canada, do send us some of their fine conservatives, who understand what freedom is, and want to help us preserve ours.

[cripplecreek]

Kinda funny how the only blue area of the UP is where the prison and the college are. I live in Jackson county and Bush won here by around 9,000 votes.

[Sparky1776]

Don't forget their new flag:


http://www.pinette.net/chris/flags/gay/

[YoungHickey]

Do you have the picture of the United States of Texas?

[netmilsmom]

Do we have a law about Felons voting here?

They can't take the whole UP. For the first time in the seven years I have lived in MI, we made it up to the UP. It is beautiful there. Canada can have the prisons and the college. Just leave us with the forrests and coastline!

[WinOne4TheGipper]

The United Staes of Texas? Where'd you see that at?

[infidel29]

I prefer to name the southern green part, as America, and the northern pink (how fitting) part as PRANCE

[cripplecreek]

You can vote in Michigan with a felony record but only if you aren't in prison or jail or on parole or probation.

I have a felony record from my youth and I vote. I believe that people who clean up their lives tend to become conservative.

[netmilsmom]

>>but only if you aren't in prison or jail or on parole or probation. <<

I think this is the key!!!!