No, Canada! (United States of Canada vs. Jesusland)

Boston.com ^ | November 6, 2004 | Alex Beam

[spyone]

You have probably heard the idle chatter: ''I'm thinking of moving to Canada." You may have received the JPEG Sent 'Round the World, labeling the northern part of North America -- the right-thinking part, as liberals would have it -- as the United States of Canada, and the pro-Bush leaning ''red" US states as Jesusland

It sounds so alluring. Good beer. Cheap Viagra. Hardly any crime. Friendly, if somewhat ineffectual, people. Terrific, if underappreciated, novelists. (This means you, Rohinton Mistry.) Secure borders, courtesy of the US Department of Defense.

But before you pack, consider this: There are plenty of reasons not to move to Canada. Let me count the ways.

1. They don't really want you. Canada is full of losers like you. If you're really rich, or a brain surgeon, maybe. But if you are, say, a newspaper reporter, be prepared to wait at least a year just to live there legally, and several more years to become a citizen.

If you have some special qualifications, like a PhD, plus a lot of work experience, and if you are under 50, you have a better chance of crashing the gates of Snow Mexico. Or if you're loaded. That's right. If you have a net worth of $800,000 Canadian or more, and are willing to invest $400,000 of it in Canada, come on in! And you thought George Bush's America was a plutocracy. . . . Think again.

[FredZarguna]

There they go again, trying to grab things that don't belong to them. Use the county map Dems. You get some slivers on the coast and along the Mississippi. You sure don't get most of PA, NY, WI, IL and MN.

More revealing to me: they think "Jesus" is a perjorative.

[unspun]

As the ol' song goes...

"You can have all the world, give me Jesus."

So be it.

[RandallFlagg]

Here ya go.

[WinOne4TheGipper]

I don't think even that will help.:)

[Mears]

I'm in Massachusetts to stay,also. Someone has to keep an eye on things.

[Sparky1776]

That and aren't a few of Canada's western provinces conservative? Don't they belong in "Jesusland"?

[Grampa Dave]

Some one should post this paragraph at DU and other rat blog sites"

"Canada = Good beer. Cheap Viagra. Hardly any crime. Friendly, if somewhat ineffectual, people. Terrific, if underappreciated, novelists. (This means you, Rohinton Mistry.) Secure borders, courtesy of the US Department of Defense.

[FredZarguna]

You'll need this more, although the only way to cleanse your mind will be to come back here to FR.

[Sparky1776]

Ditto!

[ILS21R]

They don't really want you. Canada is full of losers like you.

Sometimes the truth hurts.

[RandallFlagg]

How about this?

[mollynme]

A lib acquaintance sent this to me with the title "Where to move to". She got quite upset with me when I asked her if she needed help packing. LOL

[FredZarguna]

Yeah, I'm not sure how many of the people in Alberta and BC would want to be part of the Democratic People's Republic of Turtle Island ^TM.

On thing's for sure, after they leave, I want BLUE back for the good guys.

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Better yet, we'll force everyone in the blue areas up into New England and let Canada have that in exchange for Alberta, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, British Columbia, Nunavat, Northwest Territories, and Yukon Territory.

[cripplecreek]

If anyone tried to annex Michigan to Canada we would make the insurgency in Iraq look like a plyground scuffle. They don't call us Militiagan for nuthin.

[netmilsmom]

I think they could redo that map to just include Detroit and leave the rest of MI alone.
My county Macomb, went red, most of the state did. It would be easier to just cut off Detroit. If you include all of Wayne then Downriver (which went red) would have to go too.

[airborne]

That map is horrible. Couldn't they cut a path up between Pittsburgh and Philly so I can be in Jesusland?

[WinOne4TheGipper]

That's better.

[timestax]

[KwasiOwusu]

"Canadian beer is way overrated"

Canadian beer is rubbish.
As is their health care system.
But hey, nothing will please me more than to have those loony left losers pack their bags and hightail it to the great frozen north beyond. Its like having Christmas twice. Very good riddance I say.