No, Canada! (United States of Canada vs. Jesusland)

Boston.com ^ | November 6, 2004 | Alex Beam

[spyone]

You have probably heard the idle chatter: ''I'm thinking of moving to Canada." You may have received the JPEG Sent 'Round the World, labeling the northern part of North America -- the right-thinking part, as liberals would have it -- as the United States of Canada, and the pro-Bush leaning ''red" US states as Jesusland

It sounds so alluring. Good beer. Cheap Viagra. Hardly any crime. Friendly, if somewhat ineffectual, people. Terrific, if underappreciated, novelists. (This means you, Rohinton Mistry.) Secure borders, courtesy of the US Department of Defense.

But before you pack, consider this: There are plenty of reasons not to move to Canada. Let me count the ways.

1. They don't really want you. Canada is full of losers like you. If you're really rich, or a brain surgeon, maybe. But if you are, say, a newspaper reporter, be prepared to wait at least a year just to live there legally, and several more years to become a citizen.

If you have some special qualifications, like a PhD, plus a lot of work experience, and if you are under 50, you have a better chance of crashing the gates of Snow Mexico. Or if you're loaded. That's right. If you have a net worth of $800,000 Canadian or more, and are willing to invest $400,000 of it in Canada, come on in! And you thought George Bush's America was a plutocracy. . . . Think again.

[Sparky1776]

Perhaps somebody can merge this Canadian Liberal/Conservative map with this Jesusland map?

http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/_/viewer.aspx?path=4/45/&name=Can2004.PNG

[Miles from Tulia]

Today’s Drudge Report has a Reuters news item, “Americans Flock to Canada’s Immigration Web site,” The spin by this “news” service (Reuters) is that Americans, going to this site, want to become Canadians because they are so disappointed with the outcome of Tuesday’s election.

I doubt their spin, but let’s examine the benefits we (and Canada) will enjoy if the “Blame America First Crowd” (or “BAFC“) pick up their marbles, and move to Canada. Naturally, they will want to go to Quebec and learn French, so that they can feel even closer to the American-hating Jaques Cherac and his pals.

1) First, the average IQ of Americans and that of the citizens of Quebec will both increase -- tremendously. This BAFC would have to include most of the dumbest Americans who, when they arrived in Quebec, would still be smarter than those who allowed them to come there.

2) Most of the BAFC lives in the blue areas of the United States so, when these people move to Canada, opposition to their ideas will increase in the blue areas and give other members of the BAFC a reason to join their friends, who first moved to Canada. (And it would be nice if they took the United Nations Headquarters with them.)

3) As more and more of the BAFC move north, they will add to the strength of the Canadian socialists. And as the socialists and their BAFC friends get stronger, many conservative Canadians will be forced to leave the Canada they (used to) love, and move south where the environment is more friendly. (Which would cause the average IQ of Canadians to drop, even further.)

Forty years ago, the same thing happened to the Democrats. They compared themselves to a “big tent,” that could satisfy all voters, no matter how liberal or conservative those voters might be. Republicans also tried to be a “big tent;” thus was born the saying, “Not a Dime’s Worth of Difference” between parties.

But while the Democrats talked a “great game,” their efforts were concentrated toward the wants of the liberals, from whom Democrats obtained most of their power and influence. And as they did so, the most liberal “extremists” joined their cause, which changed the environment, formerly enjoyed by conservative Democrats.

Thus, the Democrats forced many of their former “conservative Democrat” members to move, and become some of the best Republicans, we have today.

Forty years ago, Texas was part of the Democrat’s “Solid South.” From the end of the Civil War, and Reconstruction) only two Republicans had represented Texas in Congress -- US Representative Bruce Alger and Senator John Tower.

I met a young Texas legislator who, in 1966, was switching to the Republican Party and running for Congress, as a Republican. His name was Bill Archer. Bill, now retired, was Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, for many years -- and I had the pleasure of being represented by him for much of his tenure.

So I say, to the BAFC. You are free to move to Canada, if you want to. I hope you never live to regret your decision. And while you are in Canada, do send us some of their fine conservatives, who understand what freedom is, and want to help us preserve ours.

[cripplecreek]

Kinda funny how the only blue area of the UP is where the prison and the college are. I live in Jackson county and Bush won here by around 9,000 votes.

[Sparky1776]

Don't forget their new flag:


http://www.pinette.net/chris/flags/gay/

[YoungHickey]

Do you have the picture of the United States of Texas?

[netmilsmom]

Do we have a law about Felons voting here?

They can't take the whole UP. For the first time in the seven years I have lived in MI, we made it up to the UP. It is beautiful there. Canada can have the prisons and the college. Just leave us with the forrests and coastline!

[WinOne4TheGipper]

The United Staes of Texas? Where'd you see that at?

[infidel29]

I prefer to name the southern green part, as America, and the northern pink (how fitting) part as PRANCE

[cripplecreek]

You can vote in Michigan with a felony record but only if you aren't in prison or jail or on parole or probation.

I have a felony record from my youth and I vote. I believe that people who clean up their lives tend to become conservative.

[netmilsmom]

>>but only if you aren't in prison or jail or on parole or probation. <<

I think this is the key!!!!

[martin_fierro]

If you have some special qualifications, like a PhD, plus a lot of work experience, and if you are under 50, you have a better chance of crashing the gates of Snow Mexico.

WTFIIWSM?

[netmilsmom]

Oh this should be the one...

[Sparky1776]

Hehe, that's excellant!

[qam1]

The map is kind of dumb because people in the Western red states CO, ID, NV, WY (And MT & NM to a lesser degree and probably AK) are actually less likely to be religious than people in the Blue States (Excluing OR & WA of course)

See page 40-42 (Note: large *.PDF warning)

[Neoc0n]

I like this one better

[RockAgainsttheLeft04]

I can take a joke about religion as well as the other guy can (and better than many here on FreeRepublic), but has anybody else noticed the condescending, unfunny, and downright HATEFUL attitude many left-wingers are displaying toward Christianity since their election defeat?

JesusLand? WTF is that nonsense?

These guys are starting to sound like babies crying "It's God's fault!" for the failure of their own rhetoric to sway voters. Whether God did or didn't (who can say), have something to do with the outcome of this election, these socialist loonies are missing the point. THEY caused their own failures, and cursing God will not give them any success in the future. Quite the contrary, as I think the Bible says somewhere in Revelations that God will look rather unkindly on those who attack Him (*WINK*).

[Peter Libra]

I do not take this talk of disenchanted Democrats moving to Canada seriously. You have stumbled on a great "secret" however re the UP. Many, many times after reading of the obscene descisions of the Ontario Human Rights Inquisition -opps Commission, I trembled.

I have known of good citizens driven to illness and heavy legal fees, to avoid the charges of this Commission(I have actual facts). Any lib had better watch their definitions here. Definitions that change year to year. They will be called "racists" at the drop of a hat.

Ok now for a bit of PL humour. We, in Ontario at the Michigan border 'ave but few well paying jobs. Houses are for sale at unbelievably low prices. Bring yer greenbacks libs, welcome. Every day you can go down to the St Mary's River and look across at Michigan. Do not worry, you will be welcomed back by your countrymen/women - because America is the most tolerant country in the world.

Oh, plug here. Luce County is a red, deep red county. Lovely natural enclosed area for the bears- my grand daughters loved it.

[Indie]

Glad to oblige:

[calex59]

They don't get most of California either,,,the majority of CA counties are Red, we just happen to have a lower population and fewer people on welfare so we vote Republican. We can let them have SF, LA and San Diego...and all up hwy 1...other than that we will stay in USA..:)

[FredZarguna]

THAT looks more like it. Now, If we can merge this map with the Canada map that shows the four western conservative majority provinces, you can see what America should really look like. (Notice how the Canadian map does use BLUE for the good guys, and RED for the commie dastards.) Exception: as usual the Frogs are contrarians. I dunno what that sissy light blue for Kebek is all about.

Take everything true blue. That's the United States of America. The red stuff is People's Democratic Republic of Turtle Island^TM. I say we call it P-DRTI (pronounce: PeeDirty) for short.