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Marry An American
ThisMagazine ^ | 2 Nov 2004 | http://www.thismagazine.ca/

Posted on 11/06/2004 8:53:58 PM PST by af_vet_1981

Now that George W. Bush has been declared the official winner of the November 2 election and shall become the President of the United States for four more years of idiocy, I the undersigned, a Canadian citizen, pledge to liberate, through the legal and binding act of marriage, a willing citizen of the United States of America, of a gender of my choosing, and with one or all of the following political leanings:

discouraged Democrat, reformed Republican, apolitical with limited world-domination tendencies. In addition, I promise to help my new Yankee spouse to adapt to life in the great white north, keeping them safe from (gratuitous) invasion of privacy, and to provide him/her with a reasonable supply of Timbits.

People who have already agreed to Marry an American:


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: canada; election; liberals; losers; politics
This is one way to get rid of Tories, Liberals. The funniest part of this is, the profiles could be genuine. LIBERALISM is a mental and spiritual disease.
1 posted on 11/06/2004 8:53:59 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: af_vet_1981
Fixed link

Marry An American

Enjoy

2 posted on 11/06/2004 8:55:24 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: af_vet_1981
>>"and with one or all of the following political leanings: discouraged Democrat, reformed Republican, apolitical with limited world-domination tendencies."<<

What the heck is a "reformed Republican"? Oh wait, I know...I think we call them RINOs.

3 posted on 11/06/2004 8:56:17 PM PST by Dan Middleton (Hang on sloopy / Sloopy hang on / Hang on sloopy / Sloopy hang on / Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...)
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To: af_vet_1981

If Canada was truly liberated, they would allow plural marriage. Then one nutcase could marry the whole bunch.


4 posted on 11/06/2004 8:56:24 PM PST by Question Liberal Authority (THANK YOU, FREEPERS for re-electing President George W. Bush!)
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To: af_vet_1981

I hereby offer to nominate various libs who'd love to live in a place where CNN is seen as moderatly conservative, and where the term "french quarter" means "a quarter of the whole country".

I'll even pack their bags and drive them to the Canadian border (not that far from my house).


5 posted on 11/06/2004 8:56:46 PM PST by TWohlford
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To: af_vet_1981

Hey, Canada! Take all the Leftists that you want. Better that they stink up your country than ours.


6 posted on 11/06/2004 8:57:40 PM PST by Malleus Dei ("Communists are just Democrats in a hurry.")
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To: af_vet_1981
The thing about all these Americans who are threatening to leave is that NO ONE IS STOPPING THEM! Do they think this is some controversy, and people are going to organize to try to talk them out of it? NO-O-O!

The Dems are like a woman who says "That's it, I'm leaving! I've had it, I'm out of here!" while her boyfriend is trying to watch a ball game. He's been bored with her for months and now she's finally had enough and is going to pretend to leave, hoping it will get him to come out of his boredom, compliment her, take her out to a nice dinner, rent some movies and cuddle.

Instead, after she's packed up and heads for the door and realizes it's not going as planned, she stops and says "I'm going to leave now."

But instead of the guy trying to stop her he finally notices her and says "I heard you the first five thousand times, just GO ALREADY!"

7 posted on 11/06/2004 8:58:26 PM PST by Darkwolf377
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To: af_vet_1981

Campaign for polygamy, polyandry, gay, and animal matrimony for Canadians, NOW! The more "Americans" we can send off, the better.


8 posted on 11/06/2004 8:58:57 PM PST by FredZarguna (Ready now thy pajamas. For the Dark Queen begins to gather all evil things unto herself.)
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To: af_vet_1981

scum cantadian. lets talk privately soon.


9 posted on 11/06/2004 8:59:20 PM PST by phxaz (w: the ppl who elected you want berger prosecuted.)
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To: af_vet_1981

What kind of food pellets are Timbits? One'd think that more substantial incentives will have to be used, like crack received by that new vote registration guy in OH(?).


10 posted on 11/06/2004 8:59:20 PM PST by GSlob
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To: TWohlford

Heard Michael Moore is looking for a wife with her qualities. We'd put him on a flight, but the cost of fuel is much to high for his lard butt...can you drive to the border and pick him up?


11 posted on 11/06/2004 9:01:16 PM PST by Ginifer
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To: af_vet_1981

Hasn't Canada screwed us every time anyway. At least this way it would be legal.


12 posted on 11/06/2004 9:01:26 PM PST by badpacifist
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To: af_vet_1981

If Moving to Canada heats up seriously, we could see out-migration from Good Canadians down here. Now, that's my idea of free trade. :)


13 posted on 11/06/2004 9:01:42 PM PST by Keyes2000mt (http://adamsweb.us/blog Conservative Truth for Idaho)
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To: af_vet_1981

Are Timbits like Soy lent Green?


14 posted on 11/06/2004 9:03:40 PM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: FredZarguna
Read the profiles. You have to see these profiles. This is what happens to terminal cases of liberalism.
15 posted on 11/06/2004 9:04:26 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: af_vet_1981

Here's Helen Thomas's big chance!


16 posted on 11/06/2004 9:05:11 PM PST by CrazyIvan (What's the difference between Joseph Goebbels and Michael Moore? About 150 pounds.)
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To: af_vet_1981
I can't believe that they still have my profile up there. Click Here and look at profile #1311. I think that you'll enjoy it.
17 posted on 11/06/2004 9:05:31 PM PST by politicket
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To: af_vet_1981

I've been thinking about this and think it's a good idea to handle the immigration situation. For every Mexican that comes in to work, we send one liberal to canada.


18 posted on 11/06/2004 9:05:39 PM PST by bad company (Four more years.)
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To: af_vet_1981

... I say take 'em all! Good rid-dens - I had to see what kind of loonies they had, so I went to the "view profiles", and I have to say, 26 year old 'hot4classwar' is a hottie.. NOT, Yuke - Plllleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase


19 posted on 11/06/2004 9:06:02 PM PST by bullzeye66
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To: af_vet_1981

Can Canada take all of Hollywood too? What a wonderful gift that would be.


20 posted on 11/06/2004 9:07:48 PM PST by Temple Owl (19064)
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To: af_vet_1981

Has this guy seen what a liberal woman looks like? Echhh! We need to export them to Canada.


21 posted on 11/06/2004 9:08:12 PM PST by Reagan is King (The modern definition of 'racist' is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal.)
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To: politicket

ROFL


22 posted on 11/06/2004 9:08:28 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: MissAmericanPie
At the present time we get about the same amount of oil from Canada as we do from Saudi.

If the liberal greenies move up there we can expect that to stop.

23 posted on 11/06/2004 9:09:07 PM PST by TexasCowboy (Texan by birth, citizen of Jesusland by the Grace of God)
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To: bullzeye66
hot4classwar 
Age: 26 
Gender: Male 
Occupation: Grad Student 
Location: Montreal 
Hot for: Karl Marx, Wade Davis, poutine 
Political orientation: autonomous anarchist 
What I'm looking for: A hot American brother to join in the struggle against imperialism and corporate globalization. 
Why get to know me: Together, we will work together to prepare the seeds of the revolution that will reclaim your poor nation, seizing the means of production from the corporate elite. 

ROFL, these are hilarious.

24 posted on 11/06/2004 9:10:58 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: politicket
Take a look at #1336.

Might be a good catch for some guy (?).

25 posted on 11/06/2004 9:14:45 PM PST by TexasCowboy (Texan by birth, citizen of Jesusland by the Grace of God)
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To: af_vet_1981
ROFL

I had submitted a profile with a picture, but I guess it was too much for the editors....

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
26 posted on 11/06/2004 9:15:26 PM PST by politicket
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To: TexasCowboy
Might be a good catch for some guy (?).

My hope is that these sodomite perverts STAY up in Canada and recruit the sodomite perverts from the U.S.
27 posted on 11/06/2004 9:17:09 PM PST by politicket
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To: af_vet_1981

Yes...Mary is an American.


28 posted on 11/06/2004 9:17:31 PM PST by Jeff Head (www.dragonsfuryseries.com)
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To: TexasCowboy

I guess I'm lucky that I live near enough to my job that I can ride a horse and be there in ten mins.


29 posted on 11/06/2004 9:18:28 PM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: Jeff Head

My instincts tell me the whole site has to be a spoof. No group of people can be this stupid, but given how mentally ill progressives can be ...


30 posted on 11/06/2004 9:20:23 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: af_vet_1981

Gad....what a crowd of losers on that site. Any American who'd marry one of those 'tards likely couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons!


31 posted on 11/06/2004 9:21:02 PM PST by Bombardier (Scratch a Democrat, find a traitor.)
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To: af_vet_1981

After seeing some of the signs on that thread about the Nov 3rd protest march in San Fransisco...I'm not sure if it is a spoof or not.


32 posted on 11/06/2004 9:23:15 PM PST by Jeff Head (www.dragonsfuryseries.com)
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To: af_vet_1981
I the undersigned, a Canadian citizen, pledge to liberate, through the legal and binding act of marriage, a willing citizen of the United States of America, of a gender of my choosing, and with one or all of the following political leanings:
discouraged Democrat, reformed Republican, apolitical with limited world-domination tendencies.

Sounds like he/she is either targeting Nancy Pelosi, James Carville or Arlen Spector.

33 posted on 11/06/2004 9:28:00 PM PST by CurlyBill (Voter Fraud is one of the primary campaign strategies of the Democrats!)
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To: Jeff Head

I was thinking LiberalKalifornia too. Michael Savage had a short description of one of these types yesterday. Some guy with a long name, a "peace activist" occupation, never used a credit card, never drove a card, just the provider some liberal girl needs ...


34 posted on 11/06/2004 9:28:12 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: af_vet_1981
Those profiles are better than PJ-Comix's DUmmie FUnnies. My favorite is the one from the dame who said, "I like to laugh. I'll make you laugh, too." In the immortal words of Moe Howard, "Lady, you must be psychic!"
35 posted on 11/06/2004 9:29:08 PM PST by FredZarguna (Ready now thy pajamas. For the Dark Queen begins to gather all evil things unto herself.)
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To: CurlyBill
Sounds like he/she is either targeting Nancy Pelosi, James Carville or Arlen Spector.

Can we deport Nancy ? Huh, can we, can we ? Pleeeaaase ?

36 posted on 11/06/2004 9:29:30 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: af_vet_1981

Sure!! You have my permission!


37 posted on 11/06/2004 9:30:32 PM PST by CurlyBill (Voter Fraud is one of the primary campaign strategies of the Democrats!)
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To: FredZarguna

ROFL. I needed some relaxing humor after the election's tension. This site is hilarious.


38 posted on 11/06/2004 9:30:41 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: af_vet_1981
I have one suggestion for this Canadian lunatic: Marry Helen Thomas.
She is the ugliest, nastiest, most foul mouthed, stupid, Bush-hating harridan I ever met.
She'll make a great bride for stupid Canadian men, who think they are better than Americans.
39 posted on 11/06/2004 9:40:22 PM PST by KwasiOwusu
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To: af_vet_1981

How about peter jennings? Naaah, he'd just be returning home. But, we'll toss him in free of charge.


40 posted on 11/06/2004 9:41:17 PM PST by Trepz
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To: All
From a link on their website:

Hidden Agenda
Marry an American is a satirical website brought to you by THIS Magazine and geekend.ca

It's all a spoof - but a really funny one. Makes the dems look like the fools they are.

41 posted on 11/06/2004 9:41:50 PM PST by RebelTex (Freedom is Everyone's Right... ...and Everyone's Responsibility!)
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To: af_vet_1981

maybe we can work out an exchange program send each and every fruit from the US up there in exchange one for one, decent Canadian citizen to move here or stay here after they spend the winter down in Sarasota, Fla.


42 posted on 11/06/2004 9:41:56 PM PST by arly
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To: af_vet_1981
Quick, let's build some additional lanes on the northbound highways. I can just see the long northbound tie-ups of Prius', stretch limos, VW microbusses, and 40 year old paisley school busses.
43 posted on 11/06/2004 9:52:40 PM PST by Proud2BeRight
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Comment #44 Removed by Moderator

To: RebelTex

Here's the best one:

Name: Asif Hossain
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Occupation: Banker
Location: Toronto
Hot for: CBC, Globe and Mail and New York Times
Political orientation: Progressive Canadian, Joe Clark conservative (moderate right winger)
What I'm looking for: Someone who profited from the Bush tax cuts and is willing to buy for our first home a waterfront condominium in Toronto and get us a cat.
Why get to know me: I am told I have some redeeming qualities when you really look for them.


45 posted on 11/07/2004 4:16:00 AM PST by The Loan Arranger (The modern definition of 'racist' is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal.)
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Comment #46 Removed by Moderator

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