Posted on 11/24/2004 10:17:39 AM PST by Uncle Vlad
Top Ten Fun Things to Say to Liberals Now the Election Is Over:
10. Your papers, please.
9. If you idiots ever shut up, I'd have nothing to laugh at!
8. Who cares if Old Europe would’ve voted for Kerry? We protect old Europe. The children don’t tell the grownups when they want to go to bed.
7. Thank God for the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
6. Are you going to Bible study tonight? You know, it’s mandatory now.
5. How are you going to “secede from the Union?” You have no guns!
4. I hear Canada is beautiful in the winter.
3. I got your mandate right here.
2. What do you mean, you’re leaving the country? The new concentration camp for liberals is in North Dakota.
1. Let’s bomb Paris!
Hey, Uncle, we at the League of the South are almost all Republicans, and love firearms (re your #5). Check us out.
I think I'll use #10 and #6 around the office for a few days... kinda "test the waters", so to speak ;0)
I love them, Uncle! You've inspired me to work on a set of my own.....
Seceed? Sure darlin'! Prepare for your next bag of peanuts to cost $234 :)
It was God's will the George W. Bush remain President.
Oops...
once more, with feeling...
It was God's will that George W. Bush remain President.
"So who do you think Jeb will pick as his running mate in 2008?"
How about, "Why are you going to Canada? Do you have a problem with Mexicans?" After they stammer for a few seconds say "F'ing Racist."
Let's see how they like it for a change.
Choke on it.
Every day.
Choke on it every day for 4 years.
"I feel your pain" ought to be in there somewhere.
11. I feel your pain... NOT!
Here's the one I do when a liberal whines about anything now:
Wow, that's an interesting point. In fact, it is so interesting that I'll probably think about it a year from now.....when George Bush is still president. Then I'll think about it again 2 years from now......when George Bush is still president. It's so damn interesting I'll think about it three years from now....when George Bush is still president. Hot dang it, that is so interesting that I'll be thinking about it four years from now.......when George Bush is still president.
[By the 2 years from now part, they usually show signs of wanting to kill me]
"Yeah, we stole another election. What are you going to do about it?"
Just a reminder to all the "seceders" out there: the US military is overwhelmingly Republican. Have fun!
I love it.
Stop your whining and get into the revival tent.
I drove a liberal to the brink by telling her:
"Now we can drill for oil in Alaska."
She went ballistic! Threatened to move to Canada. Buh-bye.
At NFL games, they already cost that. You need to take your banker with you in order to buy a beer.
My local talk radio host (Honsberger, KDKA 1020-AM) sang the Canadian national anthem with new lyrics: "O Canada We Flee to Thee".
I'm plotting it out on 3'x3' paper! My office is kinda dreary after I took down the 4 Bush/Cheney signs.
LOL!
To my brother: You haven't sent me even one email congratulating me because my candidate won.
I AM!
even better, I'd say "we can expect 8 years of jeb bush, and after that the bush daughters will get 2 terms each.. you'll never be rid of the Bushes!"
LOL, you are so bad.
American Liberals Sneaking
Across Border Into Canada
Illegal Immigrants
Author Unknown
11-24-4
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada Has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among Left leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O' Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say its not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.
Not real effective," he said. The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals Near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often Wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.
In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border.
Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.
If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, We get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are Creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just cant support them," an Ottawa resident said. How many art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.
We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."
11. I feel your pain... NOT!<<<<<<<<<<<
I feel their pain, I enjoy it, but because I can feel it.
11. Well...the Clinton Liebrary and Massage Parlor is now open for worship....
"Now we can drill for oil in Alaska."
She went ballistic! Threatened to move to Canada. Buh-bye."
Heck, now we can probably drill for oil in Canada.
She went ballistic! Threatened to move to Canada. Buh-bye.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Hey maybe we could drill for oil in Canada too.
ROFL!!
I still have a Bush-Cheney sign in my office, too.
Great list! Here's a thermonuclear addition:
Yes, Bush IS Hitler - that's why I voted for him!
You forgot the best one:
"You know, I've been thinking about what you guys keep saying about Bush not being elected in 2000. I think you're right, of course, that makes him eligible to run again in 2008."
Great minds!
I thought of that too. Texas, too. But I didn't want to drive her out of the tenth-floor window. Not while I was there, anyway.
LOL!
That's perfect!
LOL!
Said this on a few occassions and I loved watching their heads explode!
Coming soon to your TV...the all NASCAR channel.
Great Vanity Post!!!! Hehe, number 10 will get em going!
We're setting our sights too low.
Let's invade Canada and take it over. The only thing they could do to oppose us is write some testy editorials in the Toronto Times (or whatever).
Then as a show of magnanosity (or whatever) we would then return Quebec to the French. Who wants them, anyway.
We would also grant independence to the People's Republic of Ontario. Who wants them, either.
The rest of Canada we would rape, pillage and plunder, setting fire to their forests in order to increase greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. Drilling for oil would be required by the new states in order to be eligable for Federal aid. And they would be under strict orders to kill all moose that get anywhere near a drill site.
And finally, my very best proposal, which I save for last. Do not change the current health care system in the new Canadian states. Instead, flood the new states with thousands of lawyers, headed by the new ambassador John Edwards. We'll see just how proud the Canadians are of their healthcare system when they can sue each other's butts off.
Tell them, by the way those Air National Guard documents are real and they came from Karl Rove. Dan Rather was set up to take the fall aka Lee Harvey Oswald who was set up by Karl Rove too.
i would support adding France to the axis of Evil......
12. Don't feel so bad, you still have Hollywood.
13. There was a guy in an unmarked Suburban asking about you.
14. Someone told me Kerry was in Vietnam. Is that true?
15. Now that you're a minority, you can get affirmative action.
16. I picked up a copy of Fahrenheit 911 for 50 cents at Wal-Mart.
17. I picked up a case of Kerry/Edwards stickers out of the dumpster behind Wal-Mart.
18. Did you hear they have Fox News in Canada now?
19. I hear spotted owl is great in a turkey fryer.
20. You must have voted since you didn't die.
Your draft notice should be arriving soon in the mail.
What do you call 20,000 distraught liberals heading to Canada?..................
.......a good start.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.