How sad that I began believing it and immediately began composing a letter of outrage in my mind to send to the local newspaper. Completely suckered!
I'm sending to my sister in Maryland!
Posted on 11/24/2004 2:12:17 PM PST by NYTexan
Faced with the constitutional prohibition against teaching about the Christian origins of Thanksgiving in public schools, the Maryland State Department of Education has rewritten its curriculum, and renamed the holiday 'Lucky Thursday'.
Starting in 2005, 'Lucky Thursday' lessons in public schools will instruct children in the random, yet fortuitous, events which led a band of deranged religious fanatics (called Puritans) to beach their boat on an unexpected continent where the native people stumbled upon, then rescued them.
"The Puritans jumped on a boat, spun the wheel of fortune, and whammo...they ended up here," said an unnamed professor at the University of Maryland who directed the curriculum adjustment project. "Then they knelt in the sand and thanked their lucky stars."
Donald Trump, whose casino operations declared bankruptcy earlier this week, has promised to provide dice, cards and other instructional tools to help reinforce the curricular concept that "We're Americans because biology accidentally collided with geography."
Second Amendment anyone!
AC bump...
Action in the Blue States.
I live in Maryland, and if I hadn't seen where this came from, I would have believed it instantly.
Lucky Thursday?
I'm still not sure which casino this name is meant bring to mind. Most likely one in Atlantic City since it's closer.
Your article must be excerpted:
"..PETA, noting it's not so lucky for the fowl engorged with chemicals to produce birds with bountiful breasts, immediately filed for an injunction prohibiting on Lucky Thursday the consumption of anything more than a recently harvested sweet potato.
"'Like, turkeys don't say 'gobble gobble gobble' 'cause they, like, want to be eaten,' remarked Mia Nidiot, PETA spokes-lifeform...."
I guess it is just a sign of the times that when I first read the headline I believed it. Sad!
Now THAT was funny.
You almost had me on this one. Truth and fiction are nearly identical at times. Good post.
Oh, come off it. I'm so sick of this. They weren't "Religious Fanatics." They were Spiritual, yet tolerant of other faiths. They left England to GET AWAY FROM ALL THAT GOD BUSINESS.
So, they get here, they have a tough winter where they didn't have enough to eat or anything to watch on TV (Duh!), so the next year the Native Americans helped them out, and they wanted to say "thanks" in a very special way, so they invited them over to dinner.
It's only polite, I mean, isn't it what you'd do? And they had so much fun they said "Ya know, we ought to do this every year", and that's how we got Thanksgiving.
after that story about the teacher in Cali being banned for teaching the Declaration of Independance, I thought this one could be true...
That's O.K. My ENTIRE family does NOT recognize MLK day anymore. We celebrate 21 Jan as it should be properly noted....General Robert E. Lee's BIRTHDAY! :-)
Was there a skipper, a professor, a millionaire and his wife, an actress...
-PJ
I wish they would put some special character in the "Humor" headlines to alert everyone. A lot will believe it without even reading the article or the subsequent posts.
You would hope that a headline such as this one would suck people in to read the article (like I did), but you are probably right. :o(
LOLOL
There's an article on the Op-Ed page of the San Francisco Chronicle today that claims that the Pilgrims were Communists when they first came over, but after two years of collectivist agriculture they realized that the only way they were going to survive was to let everybody work for themselves, and keep what they could raise.
This made everyone work harder, and willingly so. The harvest of 1623 was a great success, DESPITE a crippling drought, and that was the end of "from each according to his abilities". It took the Pilgrims just two years to figure out that when everyone was working for everyone, NO ONE gave "according to his abilities".
This is a story I have never heard before.
How sad that I began believing it and immediately began composing a letter of outrage in my mind to send to the local newspaper. Completely suckered!
I'm sending to my sister in Maryland!
Check out this web page!
http://freedomkeys.com/thanksgiving.htm
The Real Story Behind Thanksgiving
Did you know that the first [Plymouth Colony Pilgrim's] Thanksgiving was a celebration of the triumph of private property and individual initiative?
William Bradford was the governor of the original Pilgrim colony, founded at Plymouth in 1621. The colony was first organized on a communal basis, as their financiers required. Land was owned in common. The Pilgrims farmed communally, too, following the "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs" precept.
The results were disastrous. Communism didn't work any better 400 years ago than it does today. By 1623, the colony had suffered serious losses. Starvation was imminent.
Bradford realized that the communal system encouraged and rewarded waste and laziness and inefficiency, and destroyed individual initiative. Desperate, he abolished it. He distributed private plots of land among the surviving Pilgrims, encouraging them to plant early and farm as individuals, not collectively.
The results: a bountiful early harvest that saved the colonies. After the harvest, the Pilgrims celebrated with a day of Thanksgiving -- on August 9th.
Unfortunately, William Bradford's diaries -- in which he recorded the failure of the collectivist system and the triumph of private enterprise -- were lost for many years. When Thanksgiving was later made a national holiday, the present November date was chosen. And the lesson the Pilgrims so painfully learned was, alas, not made a part of the holiday.
Happily, Bradford's diaries were later rediscovered. They're available today in paperback. They tell the real story of Thanksgiving -- how private property and individual initiative saved the Pilgrims.
This Thanksgiving season, one of the many things I'm thankful for is our free market system (imperfectly realized as it is). And I'm also grateful that there are increasing numbers of Americans who are learning the importance of free markets, and who are working to replace government coercion with marketplace cooperation here in America and around the world.
Paul Schmidt
Good one, Texas Eagle. I just spit Mountain Dew on my keyboard after I thought about it for about 3 seconds.
We came close to having one of them be the next president.
Amen.
The first paragraph was totally believable--for those of us who live in Maryland and have come to expect nonsense like this from our school system.
Right off the bat this "story" reminded me of an actual incident back in November 2001 when the town of Kensington, Maryland banned Santa Claus from its annual tree lighting ceremony.
Noooooo!! Sweet potatoes have feelings too! How cruel.
The only people in Maryland who have any reason to be unthankful are Republicans.
Well, the Injuns didn't understand the concept; they thought they were having the Pilgrims for dinner.
Besides, your post is mere conjecture and silly speculation (Duh!).
You might want to do an FR search for today's thread on the "Thanksgiving hoax". It tells the story a bit differently with emphasis on why things really were so tough. BTW, it's not the sort of story you'll hear told in PC circles.
Happy Lucky Thursday, one and all!
Acts 4:32-35
32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. 33 With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. 34 There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35 and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
(from New International Version)
With one noticeable difference: the entire system was voluntary.
Acts 5:3-4
3 Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4 Didn't it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn't the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God."
(from New International Version)
Anyway, it didn't go so well. When the famine hit the Roman Empire, notice which church had to depend on donations from other churches.
Acts 11:27-30
27 During this time some prophets came down from Jerusalem to Antioch. 28 One of them, named Agabus, stood up and through the Spirit predicted that a severe famine would spread over the entire Roman world. (This happened during the reign of Claudius.) 29 The disciples, each according to his ability, decided to provide help for the brothers living in Judea. 30 This they did, sending their gift to the elders by Barnabas and Saul.
(from New International Version)
Let's not look down on the early church too much though, after all it was a priest that said to St. Thomas Aquinas while pointing to one of the beautiful cathedrals, "Look there Thomas; we can no longer say silver and gold have I none." This caused Thomas to reply, "Neither can we say, in the name of Jesus, rise and walk."
Acts 3:6
6 Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk."
(from New International Version)
Why is it that it's always Mountain Dew that a FReeper spits on a keyboard on these threads? Are FReepers pre-disposed to drinking Dew? I just bought some Dew and was getting ready to pour me a glass when I read this.
Hmmm... maybe this topic deserves a thread of it's own... in Breaking News.
BTTT
Careful, It might still be true.
BTTT
Now THAT was funny.
Next thing you know, they'll be banning the US Constitution arguing that it's unconstitutional.
Since this is not on any mainstream sites, is it a hoax?
"Since this is not on any mainstream sites, is it a hoax?"
You've been 'round long enough to know to check the source, it's satire!
These "satires" are seeming less and less like satires. They're virtual realities.
Thanks, I got this from my preacher, it had holes - no source or bill number. I am sure he will be relieved.
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