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Lost an Old Friend Today. Politics and the Personal
11.24.04 | mlmr

Posted on 11/24/2004 2:42:43 PM PST by mlmr

I lost an old friend today. No, she didn't die. She screamed at me for my many-year metmorphisis from rad-liberal to conservative. She doesn't understand why I have changed, and is unable to listen because she is filled with bile, anger and hate. She wishes Bush evil and hates US policy. She has turned into a Michal Moore robot.

We have not been close friends for many years but I did enjoy keeping in touch. Because of our thirty year history I have treated the friendship gingerly but with great fondness.

Politics is hell.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Politics/Elections; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: friend; politics
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1 posted on 11/24/2004 2:42:44 PM PST by mlmr
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To: mlmr

Many Freepers will be connecting with friends and relatives on the other side of the fence during the holidays.

Any stories?


2 posted on 11/24/2004 2:44:13 PM PST by mlmr (Rubbing it in Leftist faces since 1994)
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To: mlmr

I grieve with you.

I've lost friends over ideology and beliefs, as well. I think many of us have.

In some cases, we move along. In others, it's not so easy, is it?


3 posted on 11/24/2004 2:44:36 PM PST by The Flying Dutchman (Searching for Landfall...)
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To: mlmr

I wonder how many Thanksgiving family get-to-gethers will end up like that tomorrow?


4 posted on 11/24/2004 2:45:18 PM PST by leadpenny
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To: mlmr
It happens. If it hadn't happened over politics, it would have been religion or sex.

My parents are just happy I finally turned conservative . . . they claim that not having a loud liberal daughter skilled in argument makes holidays almost bearable.
5 posted on 11/24/2004 2:46:05 PM PST by Xenalyte (Who you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?)
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To: mlmr

I've been through the same drill.

It's been my experience that today I'm happier and my new friends are smarter.


6 posted on 11/24/2004 2:46:14 PM PST by get'emall (Kerry, Arafat, Rather... the world is safer this Thanksgiving.)
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To: mlmr

I ditched several friends during the clinton impeachment - their intellectual gymnastics to get to a palatable position was embarassing, and ultimately showed me that they weren't people I needed in my life.

Do I really want to be friends with someone who thinks the meaning of the word 'is' is ambiguous? Do I really want to date someone who is genuinely confused of the meaning of the word 'alone?'

Interestingly, in my experience many of the same people would not cut me anywhere near the same slack if I ever tried creative definitions of 'is' and 'alone' to wiggle out of a jam (or a lie, for that matter).

Integrity, integrity, integrity.


7 posted on 11/24/2004 2:46:51 PM PST by HitmanLV (HitmanNY has a brand new Blog!! Please Visit! - http://www.goldust.com/weblog -)
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To: leadpenny

We'll be with Xena's Guy's family, and I'm only allowed to talk politics when the women go into the kitchen and the menfolks stay and smoke seegars. (Yes, I stay with the dudes.)


8 posted on 11/24/2004 2:46:56 PM PST by Xenalyte (Who you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?)
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To: mlmr

I'm sorry for your loss.

I think we all have horror stories of a similar vein that we could share.

I'm the black sheep of my family - I come from a long line of die-hard Massachusetts liberals. We finally had to make a rule that we would no longer discuss politics at family gatherings.

On a bright note, my mother and I have the same hairdresser - and he's a Republican. He *loves* being able to discuss politics when .45MAN and I get out hair cut and knows that the subject is absolutely taboo when he is doing my mom's hair.


9 posted on 11/24/2004 2:47:13 PM PST by dansangel (Thank you Veterans past and present!)
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To: mlmr

My sympathy! I am currently trying to nurse a friendship with a Lib Schoolteacher. She's a dear friend and we have declared politics verboten in our conversations.....it was tough through the election, but hopefully since we survived that we can continue the friendship! It's not easy!!


10 posted on 11/24/2004 2:47:20 PM PST by Primetimedonna
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To: The Flying Dutchman

We are polarized.

My children could hear her yelling over the phone, it was my usual holiday phonecall. She lives overseas now. She just kept asking why, why, why I support the killings of millions in Iraq. She couldn't hear my answer. I didnt even want to answer her, because it was to broad a gulf to breach.


11 posted on 11/24/2004 2:48:00 PM PST by mlmr (Rubbing it in Leftist faces since 1994)
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To: mlmr

I will be spending the day with libs,some even ultra libs.

We have done this for years and we all get along well and respect eachother.

I refuse to argue about anything,especially politics or religion,over the dinner table and everyone else seems to feel the same way.

Sorry about you and your friend.


12 posted on 11/24/2004 2:48:10 PM PST by Mears
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To: mlmr
It makes it even harder when they are relatives. Then you can't "break up".

I feel for you....

13 posted on 11/24/2004 2:48:21 PM PST by rightwingreligiousfanatic (You cannot stop me...... I'll just make...... a "move"........)
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To: mlmr

I keep friends and family by asking pointed questions instead of coming out and saying what I believe. The questions lead to opening and changing their mind. Huh, never thought about that... Always in response to them bringing up the subject, not me...


14 posted on 11/24/2004 2:48:35 PM PST by Mount Athos
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To: mlmr

A wise man once told me to consider yourself a very lucky person if you can count your real friends on one hand when you die .


15 posted on 11/24/2004 2:48:40 PM PST by randog (What the....?!)
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To: Xenalyte

they claim that not having a loud liberal daughter skilled in argument makes holidays almost bearable


They have a point. Sounds like prayers were answered.


16 posted on 11/24/2004 2:48:46 PM PST by mlmr (Rubbing it in Leftist faces since 1994)
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To: mlmr

Sad, isn't it? Same thing's happened to me.

I remember a girlfriend who left for university a good conservative. Within six months, she was a raving Maoist. I haven't laid eyes on her for twenty five years.


17 posted on 11/24/2004 2:49:05 PM PST by Aussie Dasher (Stop Hillary - PEGGY NOONAN '08)
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To: mlmr
why I support the killings of millions in Iraq

It's so sad that she is too blind to realize that it is *she* who supports the killings of ***millions*** (a la the Hussein reign of terror) in Iraq.

18 posted on 11/24/2004 2:49:34 PM PST by dansangel (Thank you Veterans past and present!)
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To: mlmr

Sorry to hear that.

On the plus side, my husband and I gained a friend. Our liberal neighbor with the yard full of democrat signs confided to my husband yesterday that he'd voted for Bush. Shhhh! It's a secret.


19 posted on 11/24/2004 2:50:12 PM PST by SandyInSeattle (Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Pajama Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
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To: mlmr

I am going thru this now with a friend of 30-some odd years.
I am to blame for all the social and political injustices in her narrow, little Noam Chomsky world.


20 posted on 11/24/2004 2:50:17 PM PST by two23
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To: get'emall

It's been my experience that today I'm happier and my new friends are smarter.



I have lost friends over my religious beliefs and lost friends over my changed politics, I have also lost friends becasue I would not invite their same sex partner to spend the night with them in my guestroom. Most of these losses have been a gentle parting of the ways.

This was an argument.


21 posted on 11/24/2004 2:50:40 PM PST by mlmr (Rubbing it in Leftist faces since 1994)
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To: mlmr

It is very hard indeed to befriend the mentally ill. No all are called to do so or have the grace to do so...


22 posted on 11/24/2004 2:51:01 PM PST by AmericaUnited
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To: mlmr
Sorry to hear that. My parents are Kerry voters. I have chosen to not bring the subject of the election up while talking or visiting with them. They know I am very involved in the conservative movement, and they know that I, too, went from Very Liberal to Conservative...and I wear that badge of conservatism proudly.

If Bush had lost, I would have heard about it. Big Time. But I will not go down the Gloat Road. Not with my folks. They know better, deep down, I believe in their heart of hearts they know better. I cannot explain their behaviour, except to say they are Baby Boomers who were cared for all their lives by well-meaning but misguided WWII generation parents and parents-in-laws. Coming of age in the 1960s, they never really "got it", and after all these years they still refuse--willingly, I believe and am sad to say--to vote the way they know they should.

23 posted on 11/24/2004 2:51:15 PM PST by Recovering_Democrat (I'm so glad to no longer be associated with the Party of Dependence on Government!)
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To: AmericaUnited

No all - NOT ALL


24 posted on 11/24/2004 2:51:29 PM PST by AmericaUnited
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To: Xenalyte

That sounds familiar.


25 posted on 11/24/2004 2:51:36 PM PST by leadpenny
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To: mlmr
Send her flowers, and for the message write: W 1
26 posted on 11/24/2004 2:52:19 PM PST by theDentist (Proud Member of FreeRepublic 's "Pyjama-Hadeen")
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To: mlmr

A former FReeper and friend of mine just got mobilized today.

He's wanted this, desperately, for years. Now he gets his wish, and his chance.

I shudder to think of what he'd say to this former friend of yours.


27 posted on 11/24/2004 2:52:24 PM PST by The Flying Dutchman (Searching for Landfall...)
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To: mlmr

Condolences, seriously. That is an individual traumatized by politics, and such as she do not cling to politics for discourse, but for validation. When you do not agree with her you threaten what she is, or rather what she imagines that she is. Do not expect a rational response.


28 posted on 11/24/2004 2:52:36 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: mlmr

What good does it do one to keep such friends? They are to be "avoided and turned from". [Quotation from N. Taffy; alternative translation would be: "avoided and abominated"]


29 posted on 11/24/2004 2:52:51 PM PST by GSlob
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To: mlmr

My ultra liberal sister hasn't emailed or spoken to me since the election. I have no idea if or when she will. She has been SO SURE she was right over the years and has enjoyed slinging little barbs and insults my way. I have no interest in arguing with her, we are both too set in our ways. But I am GREATLY enjoying being on the winning side for once. The grin on my face hasn't disappeared since Nov. 3rd.


30 posted on 11/24/2004 2:53:06 PM PST by Arizona
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To: mlmr

I have been stunned by the reaction to the election by my lefty friends and acquaintances. The day after the election, I was getting all these emails about how the people who voted for Bush are "idiots", etc. So I hit "Reply All" and wrote: "Hey, give us folks who voted for Bush credit for remaining riends with people who call us 'idiots'. I remeber how miserable I was when Clinton beat Bush (Sr) in '92, and I'm sorry you all feel that way today." I sent a kind, sincere email in response to the obnoxious ones I got. Well, you can't believe the hateful emails I got in return to my nice one. Friends-of-friends complained that I had hit "reply all"; strangers sent emails cursing me; I got an email that was a rant against God, even though I hadn't even mentioned God or religion in my email. There absolutely is a cultural divide in this country and the other side is obsessively hateful towards us. I only can hope that means the other side thinks they're going to keep on losing.


31 posted on 11/24/2004 2:53:54 PM PST by utahagen
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To: mlmr

I am very sorry that you lost your friend.

You know, I think both sides play some part in the way our nation is divided - but I believe the left is significantly more to blame than the right.

Why? They call our President and anyone who supports them all sorts of terrible names and hate us with such vitriol as I have never seen in my 31 years. Additionally they believe the propaganda spewed by the far left leadership. Just consider this post from DU courtesy of PJ-Comix's DUmmie FUnnies:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1287096/posts

Now I detest Michael Moore for his arrogant and completely distorted view of America and our President but I don't wish him any harm like apparently some on the left wish upon us.

Again, I am sorry for your loss.


32 posted on 11/24/2004 2:54:10 PM PST by PowerPro (DOUBLE W - He's STILL the one. Now don't that feel GOOD????)
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To: mlmr

I live in Massachusetts and Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday of the year.

At least my children have a brain.


33 posted on 11/24/2004 2:54:36 PM PST by Radix (This post is being protected by a sophisticated Tag Line alert system. Stand back!)
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To: mlmr

Congratulations! It's always better to free your life from idiots.

=^P


34 posted on 11/24/2004 2:54:48 PM PST by Tempest (Click on my name for a long list of press contacts)
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To: mlmr

It seems as if it is usually the leftist in these politically-mixed friendships who are the ones who can not resist injecting the political differences. I think Conservatives are generally just more polite (although not always, to be fair) and more inclined to take people as a whole package rather than just dwell on the political dimension. I had several friends of many years standing who I no longer communicate with because of their reaction to 9-11. No dramatic arguments, just a fading away of the relationship. Sad, but we can live with this when we know we are right.


35 posted on 11/24/2004 2:54:49 PM PST by speedy
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To: mlmr

Is there any way you all can avoid talking about politics?


36 posted on 11/24/2004 2:54:56 PM PST by hasegawasama
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To: mlmr

She died just as Anakin Skywalker died when he became Darth Vader.

Except Liberals don't have that kind of power.

I have a few Liberal family members -- I gave up on them. I actually had one quote the Calley trial to "prove" Heinz-Kerry was telling the truth when he testified before congress. What can you do with that kind of mentality?


37 posted on 11/24/2004 2:55:02 PM PST by freedumb2003 (Democrat credo: If we win, we win: if we lose it is theft!)
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To: Mears

So how about the weather? ..... ;)


38 posted on 11/24/2004 2:55:06 PM PST by GOP_1900AD (Stomping on "PC," destroying the Left, and smoking out faux "conservatives" - Take Back The GOP!)
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To: Recovering_Democrat

I can identify with your problems relating to your parents, but my experience is different....I'm the raised in the 60's child who eventually "saw the light" and embraced conservatism. But, in deference to my Union Leader father, I have never had the heart to change my registration from Democrat to Republican, even though I NEVER vote Democrat....old habits die hard! Don't want to think about my beloved father turning over in his grave!!


39 posted on 11/24/2004 2:55:11 PM PST by Primetimedonna
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To: mlmr

She will be back when she is old.


40 posted on 11/24/2004 2:56:08 PM PST by Righter-than-Rush
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To: Xenalyte
You used to be a liberal?
What pushed you into adulthood? Serious question.
41 posted on 11/24/2004 2:56:10 PM PST by Publius6961 (The most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.)
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To: HitmanNY

Do I really want to be friends with someone who thinks the meaning of the word 'is' is ambiguous? Do I really want to date someone who is genuinely confused of the meaning of the word 'alone?'

No, I agree with you. But some things do transend politics...if they are a once or twice a year visit.


42 posted on 11/24/2004 2:56:19 PM PST by mlmr (Rubbing it in Leftist faces since 1994)
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To: mlmr

We "lost" my in-laws (in their 80s) to Kerry this year. It'll be a grim Thanksgiving...


43 posted on 11/24/2004 2:56:19 PM PST by MayflowerMadam
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To: mlmr

Worse yet is to be related to them. I've already divorced one Lib, but have yet to fathom how to go about divorcing a string of cousins and aunts.

And a great big Unnngh!, Happy Thanksgiving to you!


44 posted on 11/24/2004 2:56:21 PM PST by Tarpaulin (Look it up.)
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To: mlmr

After the War started, and before the election, I ceased contact with three persons and one relative.
I've made it to age 63. 30+ of those years were as a Road Cop.
Life is too short to put up with the BS the Libs propgate.


45 posted on 11/24/2004 2:56:58 PM PST by Ramonan (Honor does not go out of style.)
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To: mlmr
I had the same thing happen to me in 2000. My friend and I had been as close as sisters from 8th grade on. We shared an apartment in New York City (a dream we had always had). We grew apart during that time as she became an anti-war activist and I became more and more conservative. I supported the troops, our government and our religion. All of these things were an anathema to her. As the years passed we still kept in touch with an occasional phone call and always a birthday card. I had stopped sending her Christmas cards as she told me they were not appreciated she had become an atheist.

After the 2000 election she called me to tell that she could no longer be a friend of a person who she knew supported Bush. She could not be a friend to a person who had no morals and would support a man who had stolen the election. There is much I could have said to her at this point, but I didn't. I just said, "I am sorry that you feel that way and I am sorry that for all these years I really didn't know you." I gently laid the reciever down. I have never heard from her again.

46 posted on 11/24/2004 2:57:05 PM PST by asp1
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To: mlmr
I lost an old friend today. No, she didn't die.

Well, in a way she did. She is brain dead now is she not? ;)

Seriously though there are two options (IMHO):

If you both value each others friendship make visits with each other non political events. As the old adage goes, agree to disagree (I have taken this approach with several old friends).

Second, reevaluate your priorities and decide if hers no longer match with yours. If that is the case, cherish the fond memories.

47 posted on 11/24/2004 2:57:48 PM PST by Michael.SF. (Well, Kerry did win the exit polls)
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To: dansangel
On a bright note, my mother and I have the same hairdresser - and he's a Republican. He *loves* being able to discuss politics when .45MAN and I get out hair cut and knows that the subject is absolutely taboo when he is doing my mom's hair.



I have a neighbor whose in-laws were visiting just before the election. They confessed to my daughter that they have lied to their son in law and daughter and said they were voting for Kerry because they could not bear the fury and anger.
48 posted on 11/24/2004 2:58:04 PM PST by mlmr (Rubbing it in Leftist faces since 1994)
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To: AmericaUnited

LOL!


49 posted on 11/24/2004 2:58:21 PM PST by MisterRepublican ("I must go. I must be elusive.")
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To: mlmr
Yes, I am married to a Liberal.

She makes John Kerry look like Herbert Hoover.

50 posted on 11/24/2004 2:58:51 PM PST by pete anderson
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