Posted on 12/09/2004 2:37:55 PM PST by weegee
Super-compassionate liberal Senator Ted Kennedy is one of the richest politicians in America, but he's quietly giving back -- by teaching poor inner-city teens to drive, free of charge!
That's the surprising revelation of a clergyman who coordinates the program, based in a community center in Washington, D.C.
"Teddy doesn't charge these kids a dime and doesn't take any credit," reveals Father Bryan MacKelly. "He volunteers his time on the down-low -- he doesn't really want the media to make a big deal about his personal generosity.
"He told me, 'Safe driving is a skill every young American deserves to have -- not just the rich.' "
The bighearted Massachusetts senator drives himself to the community center in an unobtrusive old Pontiac he uses to give the free one-hour lessons.
"He comes and goes without waiting for thanks, like the Lone Ranger," Fr. MacKelly marvels.
When the roly-poly, silver-haired politician first showed up and was introduced as the new driving instructor, the high-schoolers -- ages 16 to 18 -- were shocked.
"Who's the weird fat dude?" one youth asked.
After Fr. MacKelly introduced him as Ted Kennedy, the teens were even more awestruck.
"It's the dude who got assassinated, y'all," another youth whispered.
Fr. MacKelly hastily explained that it was Ted's older brother, President John F. Kennedy, who was murdered in Dallas.
Lakwanda, 17, was one of the first pupils to go for a spin with the legendary lawmaker.
"At first, I was real nervous, 'cause pulling out from the curb, Mr. Ted knocked over two garbage cans and scraped the fender on a fire hydrant," she recalls. "He laughed and apologized and told me it had been a while since he did his own driving.
"But once he put me behind the wheel, he was real cool. He kept telling stories about the old days and famous people he'd met, like Bob Dylan and Fidel Castro.
"I didn't know who they were, but I liked that he was so friendly."
The senator, who was involved in the infamous 1969 Chappaquiddick car accident in which a young woman drowned, makes no attempt to downplay the tragedy during lessons. Instead, he uses the incident as a cautionary tale.
"Some of you may be a little scared of driving," he tells the youngsters. "Well you should be. One momentary lapse of attention, breaking one 'minor' traffic rule and you or a loved one could wind up dead."
The senator has been giving lessons since February, when he ran into Fr. MacKelly at a charitable function.
"I was telling Teddy about some of our programs," the pastor remembers. "When I mentioned we had two volunteer driving instructors and were looking for a third, his eyes lit up."
tip to students - stay away from bridges
I hope he furnishes them the cars too
Does he include lessons on how to escape a flipped over car in water, after all he has experience with that.
When is he ever below the legal BAC??
The senator, who was involved in the infamous 1969 Chappaquiddick car accident in which a young woman drowned, makes no attempt to downplay the tragedy during lessons. Instead, he uses the incident as a cautionary tale.
The bighearted Massachusetts senator drives himself to the community center in an unobtrusive old Pontiac
Now I KNOW it's a joke. Teddy's been an Oldsmobile man since at least, oh, around 1966...
I forget, are you here for driving lessons or swimming lessons? No matter...
Rrrrrrrrrr
Where do you start with this?
This is a joke, right?
This can't be true. Too funny to be true.
Consider the source.
You just can't make this stuff up!
Appropriate headline, my son says.
ROFL, I forgot this was the magizine with Bat Boy.
OMG! What next?
Oops, I forgot the "sarcasm" tag. My bad.
"Anytime you have to blow on the breathalyser, just rub your hands together until the alcohol magically evaporates from your system!
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