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The 12 Days of Rummying
NY Times ^ | Dec 12, 2004 | Maureen Dowd

Posted on 12/11/2004 1:36:51 PM PST by Tumbleweed_Connection

On the first day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me a Saddam pigeon in a palm tree. Not knowing Osama's address, Rummy hastened to 'Potamia - and a mess, exhorting his pal Cheney, "Let's bomb Baghdad again, golly gee!"

On the second day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me two dead-ender turtle doves (Colin and Kofi), flowers and chocolates from the ninny Chalabi, and a billion Arabs mad at me.

On the third day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me three French henpeckers and imaginary W.M.D. And 300 tons of lost explosives going BOOM! everywhere. Rummy tried for a Vin Diesel movie, when he should have heeded General Shinseki.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me four cuckoo birds - Wolfie, Perle, Feith and Condi. The cost of empire on the cheap will be steep. How did Rummy get a job guarantee?

On the fifth day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me five Pentagon rings. Rummy wanted to go down in history by transforming the military. But many G.I.'s feel cheated, that their forces and matériel are depleted. Stop Loss and Stuff Happens, by Jiminy!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me six German shepherds teeth a-baring. A hooded man attached to wires, Abu Ghraib and Army liars, Red Cross in the dark about dogs that liked to bark.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me regime change that wasn't free, our troops sitting ducks for I.E.D. (Improvised Explosive Devices, dear me) Rummy is another sort of I.E.D. (Instant Excuses for Disaster, "I'm an old man, don't you see?")

On the eighth day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me eight Osama videotapes. The Bushie fever with Saddam left Osama free to scram. Invading Iraq was an Xmas gift for bin Laden - a recruiting lift.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me Iran and North Korea on a nuclear buildup spree. Nine mullahs a-proliferating, as our military's straining. The Bushies were fixated on Iraq, but Saddam's weapons were merely the mock.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me ten Gitmo lawyers a-leaping. What cares he about civil liberty?

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my Rummy sent to me eleven generals a-hyping that the war is just dandy, while our spooks are warning that civil war and theocracy are a-borning as the Kid in the Oval feels free to consult a Higher Authority. Burkas, turbans and beards you'll see after the puppet Allawi.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: dowd; dowdy; dustywomb; hateschristmas; mandatorybarfalert; mba; rummy8xmass; spinster; zetajones
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1 posted on 12/11/2004 1:36:51 PM PST by Tumbleweed_Connection
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

They pay her for this crap?


2 posted on 12/11/2004 1:37:51 PM PST by spodefly (I've posted nothing but BTTT over 1000 times!!!)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

You know you're going to get things started with this post.


3 posted on 12/11/2004 1:39:15 PM PST by writer33 (The U.S. Constitution defines a conservative)
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To: spodefly

They do pay. It's an amazement that anything conservative gets published with their warped world view. Thank goodness for the internet.


4 posted on 12/11/2004 1:40:14 PM PST by writer33 (The U.S. Constitution defines a conservative)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

Ahemmm. Pictures, please.


5 posted on 12/11/2004 1:42:28 PM PST by ScaniaBoy (Part of the Right Wing Research & Attack Machine)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection
I'm good with the first 11 days but what do we get on the 12th?

12 liberal columnists falling to their knees when Rummy saves their asses?

(And where are the pictures of CZJ?)

6 posted on 12/11/2004 1:44:06 PM PST by mcenedo (lying liberal media - our most dangerous and powerful enemy)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

I see that MoDo's schizophrenia remains untreated, poor thing.


7 posted on 12/11/2004 1:51:31 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (Am Yisrael Chai!)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

Get the b!tch on some kind of hormone replacement therapy, NY Slimes!

She gets paid - but obviously not laid - for this crap? Unreal garbage.


8 posted on 12/11/2004 1:54:08 PM PST by 7.62 x 51mm ( veni vidi vino visa "I came, I saw, I drank wine, I shopped")
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

Hey! She owes us a day~!

Cheapskate!

Wonder what Michael is getting Catherine for Christmas eh mo?


9 posted on 12/11/2004 1:54:37 PM PST by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: ScaniaBoy
Ahemmm. Pictures, please.


10 posted on 12/11/2004 1:56:49 PM PST by mental
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

Dreadful. I've seen a lot of great song parodies by Freepers on this site over the years. I've done a few myself. They are not that hard to do. This lame attempt at a song parody by Dowd is the absolute worst I've ever read. You might be able to sing along with it if you guzzled a quart of whiskey. Maybe that's the secret.




11 posted on 12/11/2004 1:58:54 PM PST by SamAdams76 (No intolerant liberal is going to take my Christmas away from me)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

I thought she hated Christmas? She's sure confused.


12 posted on 12/11/2004 1:58:55 PM PST by Mister Baredog (PLEASE be sure you have a flag up on your FReeper homepage.!!!)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection
This is the dumbest thing I've ever read.

I'm sure Imus will love it, though.

13 posted on 12/11/2004 2:03:26 PM PST by MitchellC
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To: mental

Many Thanks!

Luckily my screen is coffee-proof.

I meant CZJ pictures, but I'm sure you knew that

;-)


14 posted on 12/11/2004 2:07:19 PM PST by ScaniaBoy (Part of the Right Wing Research & Attack Machine)
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To: ScaniaBoy
"I've been dreaming
of a Rummy Christmas...

15 posted on 12/11/2004 2:09:37 PM PST by Tumbleweed_Connection (www.whatyoucrave.com)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

There ya'go. Thanks. Now I just have to clean my screen to get a better view (post # 10 & 14).

Happy dreams Maureen.


16 posted on 12/11/2004 2:15:09 PM PST by ScaniaBoy (Part of the Right Wing Research & Attack Machine)
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To: spodefly
They pay her for this crap?

That was my first reaction, too. It's more pathetic than objectionable. Humor is a deadly weapon, if you can make your adversary look ridiculous, you've disarmed him. Is this really the best the Left can muster? I could make a better satire of Rummy than this.

17 posted on 12/11/2004 2:15:41 PM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (NYT Headline: "The Protocols of the Learned Elders of CBS", Fake But Accurate, Experts Say)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

Dear Ms. Dowd,

Better to keep quiet and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and prove you're a fool.


18 posted on 12/11/2004 3:49:41 PM PST by raybbr
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

Dreadful... painfully dreadful.

She is to parody poetry as Madonna is to acting, that's how bad it is.

You must have cringed posting this dreck.



19 posted on 12/11/2004 7:11:34 PM PST by WOSG (Liberating Iraq - http://freedomstruth.blogspot.com)
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To: Tumbleweed_Connection

Aahhhh, makes the Dowdy thread worthwhile ...

http://come.to/czj


20 posted on 12/11/2004 7:14:43 PM PST by WOSG (Liberating Iraq - http://freedomstruth.blogspot.com)
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