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What they should have said - (Hilarious new Mort Zukerman!)

Posted on 01/03/2005 10:13:43 PM PST by CHARLITE

President George W. Bush on Sen. John Kerry 's constantly changing positions on the war in Iraq: "He has sat on the fence for so long that the iron has entered his soul."

Senator Kerry on Bush: "I would trust my honorable opponent with anything, except, that is, public office."

Bush on Kerry 's campaigning: "He went around the country stirring up apathy."

Kerry on Bush 's plain-spoken speeches: "He has never been known to use a word that might send a listener to the dictionary."

The media, after listening to Bush 's stump speech over and over: "It is deja moo--the feeling you have heard this bull before."

Kerry on his stump speech: "Let no one say that I have said nothing new. The arrangement of the material is new."

(Excerpt) Read more at ...

TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: campaignquotes; dickcheney; georgewbush; heinzkerry; johnkerry; nancypelosi; teresa

1 posted on 01/03/2005 10:13:44 PM PST by CHARLITE
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Thanks for the banality update.

2 posted on 01/04/2005 6:27:40 AM PST by Nonstatist
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To: Nonstatist

A couple of tag line possibilities in there.

As a vet, I liked this one:
"For those who have fought for it, freedom has a taste that the protected will never know."

The wishful philanthropist in me liked this one:
"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can make me happy."

As a smart@ss, I liked this one:
"Why should I care about happiness? It can't get me money."

3 posted on 01/04/2005 12:36:58 PM PST by NerdDad
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