Posted on 01/04/2005 1:58:01 PM PST by UnklGene
From each according to his need -
Mike S. Adams (archive)
January 4, 2005
Dear absent student:
I received your recent email asking to be excused from the first two days of class. I am sorry that your mother bought your plane ticket before consulting the schedule for the semester. That happens a lot. In fact, it happens to at least one of my students every semester. But, please don’t worry. I am going to handle your situation under a new policy I have initiated for the coming semester.
Under my new policy, students with special needs will be able to open a “special needs account” every time that they need to be exempt from the rules that apply to everyone else. Vouchers will be deposited in the account in an amount that accurately reflects the magnitude of each student’s special need. Two vouchers have been deposited in your account to handle this week’s absences.
Since you will not be present on the first day of class, I am going to take the time to give you a special review of the class policies. I don’t mind repeating myself for students who can’t come to class. I have a lot of time on my hands. I have tenure.
First of all, it is important that you come to class on time. You need to wear a watch and set it to the time indicated on the Weather Channel. Contrary to the views of the Office of Campus Diversity, there is a fixed reality out there, independent of your feelings. Come to class before it is really 10 a.m., not before you feel like it is 10 a.m.
Of course, you might have some special problem that prevents you from making it to class on time. If so, just come to me after class and tell me what that problem is. I will grant you one special needs voucher for every time that you are late.
And cell phones will be strictly prohibited in our class. Since students have consistently shown that they cannot remember to turn off the ringer on their cell phones, I do not allow students to bring one to class at all. But if you don’t feel like following this rule, just tell me that you have a special need for your cell phone. I will then deposit one special needs voucher into your special needs account for each day that you need to bring it to class. And if it rings during class, don’t worry. I will give you a voucher for each and every single ring! Just tell me why you needed to leave on the ringer.
Furthermore, you will be asked not to read magazines or chat with your neighbors during class. But if there is a pressing need to talk, I will stop the class and allow you to finish. Of course, each time I have to do that, I will grant a special needs voucher, just as long as there really was a special need for you to speak. The policy also applies if you need to go potty during class. We will all wait for you to get back before resuming class lecture. We don’t want you to miss a thing. And don’t forget to pick up your special needs voucher after you get back from going potty.
I also intend to change the way that we review our exams after they have been graded. I used to go over the answers in class, to make sure that I had not made any mistakes. I also allowed the student to hand back his exam if there had been a computational error. That was too complicated. From now on, I am just going to ask you how you feel about your grade. Anyone who feels that he needs a letter grade added to his exam will get a special needs voucher. Two letter grades? No problem. Two vouchers, coming right up!
After the semester is over, you will cash in all of your special needs vouchers. Actually, I will do it for you if you need me to. This is the part of the policy you need to listen to carefully.
Throughout your entire career as a student, you have been taught that you are entitled to something, just because you have a special need. That is the mentality behind affirmative action. It also explains other problems like grade inflation. It is also the reason why socialism has failed despite the murders of 100 million individuals, all sacrificed for “the good of mankind.”
Since the rewarding of need and the corresponding punishment of achievement has been such a failure, there is only one rational thing to do. We must reverse the process. That is why, today, I am announcing a plan to deduct one point from your final average for every special needs voucher that you accumulate during the semester. The points will go to students who do not ask for special treatment but, instead, follow rules and seek to earn credit based upon individual merit.
By implementing this plan, I will be doing my part to reverse the harmful effects of socialism upon our great nation. If others follow, we will soon see the emergence of a large gap between the needy and the achievers in our society. But if we stay the course, we will see many of our needy brothers join the class of the achievers in the future. If they do not, we can at least say that we provided them with an opportunity to achieve. We have no other obligation.
We must no longer conceal our aims. It is time to openly declare that they can be reached by nothing less than a reversal of existing social conditions. Let the needy tremble at the coming revolution. The achievers have nothing to lose but their chains.
Ping.
Although I agree in theory with this teacher, I can have sympathy for any student who truly has a plane ticket that conflicts with a class schedule. It may be a fake excuse lots of students use, but it really could happen. And have you ever tried to change a ticket? Unless you bought a higher priced one to begin with, you're stuck!
Works for me!
Sounds good!
poor boy needs mommy to buy his ticket?
"While the theory behind the piece may have some merit, framing it in the context of the student-professor relationship leaves something to be desired."
Exactly!
How else would you frame it?
Gee, you sound like most liberals I know.
Unless there is a death in the immediate family, I see no reason for a student to think that they should be excused. What's next....I have a plane ticket to my 3rd cousin's marriage to my 4th cousin???
Check out these policies.
I also understand how real life intrudes on the delivery of education. Members of my family were recently involved in a serious car accident, making it practically impossible for me to keep up with my teaching. Fortunately, the students have shown some flexibility, so we all move on.
If the institution of education requires the inflexibility implied by the teacher's remarks, then perhaps it's the institution that needs to be changed, not necessarily the student.
"Gee, you sound like most liberals I know."
I don't think that recognizing the realities of life makes me liberal. I can understand how a student would miss classes in a situation where he physically is unable to get back to campus on time, and there are situations short of death that might interfere with being in class. Like I said, have you ever dealt with an airline when trying to change a ticket?
Obviously that doesn't mean a student should be exempted from the work or get a grade he didn't earn. Again as I said, I agree with the teacher's general principle that students shouldn't get to skip class or work just because they feel like it (unless there's no attendance policy and then it's just a matter of the student wasting what is probably his parents' money.) But believing in rules and enforcing rules does not mean human sympathy for certain legitimate uncontrolled circumstances goes out the window!
I think this prof. was reacting not to legit. situations but to too many students using fake excuses to beg off work. Obviously that doesn't deserve any sympathy.
Not true. The "customer" is the one who foots the bill. Taxpayers are the customers, and we are paying money to see that young people get an education that allows them to live productive lives in our society.
The teachers must teach, and the students must learn. If either side doesn't fulfill their part of the bargain, then the customer/taxpayer has every right to withhold payment.
Maybe if we got serious about that, more students and teachers would take their parts seriously too.
He does have a point about the cell phones being a distraction to other students, but mandatory attendence? He is forgetting the direction of money flow in this situation. The money goes from the students to him, not the other way around. They are paying him to teach, he is not ordering them to learn.
If the students learn or know the material, what does he care if they show up for lectures? Test and work scores are what should matter. If a student is learning the material (or already knows it) outside of lectures, then this will show on the tests. If the student is not learning the material through non-attendance, this will also be apparent.
I once took a mechanical engineering course where I never spent a single day in class. I didn't do the homework either since it wasn't part of the final grade. I took both midterms and the final a week early in the prof's office, and high-scored the class. I already knew the material, so why should I have wasted both the professor's time and my own with classes and homework?
I searched on the word "each" and nothing came up. Next time I'll try two words.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/search?m=all;o=time;s=each
Go figure.
thanks for the ping...
"The "customer" is the one who foots the bill. Taxpayers are the customers"
Maybe for K-12 public schools...
Taxpayers spend a lot on Universities, too. State colleges and universities are highly subsidized, and even private ones get plenty of money through tax deductions and grants.
If he finds students so unpleasant, let him quit. Students can probably sense his rotten attitude and send it right back at him.
Mike S. Adamas is a riot! LOL!
By finding a different aspect of modern life where the influence of socialism can be eradicated. Maybe by pointing out the absurdity of the tenure system and show, that like government mandated equality, it is impossible for it to exist without it being abused.
The professor/student relationship is an imperfect vehicle, in my opinion, because it does not echo true value relationships which both socialism and capitalism purport to addresses. In what other industry does the employee have the power of a mideveal lord over his employers?
I just now clicked your link; "Nothing matched your criteria" (same as you). Then, I clicked 'back', right-clicked it, 'Open in a New Window' and voila!, a long list of results was returned. Then, I came back and clicked your link; a long list this time. Weird.
So, I tried it on another PC just to make sure. Again, first time, nothing matched. Clicked the 'back' button; clicked your link again. Same thing (no matches). Hit 'refresh'; bingo -- long list of matches.
Maybe John Robinson can shed some light on this. All my testing was on IE 6.0.
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