Skip to comments.Men Just Want Mommy
Posted on 01/13/2005 4:53:28 AM PST by Jim Noble
A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."
I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.
Women in staff support are the new sirens because, as a guy I know put it, they look upon the men they work for as "the moon, the sun and the stars." It's all about orbiting, serving and salaaming their Sun Gods.
In all those great Tracy/Hepburn movies more than a half-century ago, it was the snap and crackle of a romance between equals that was so exciting. Moviemakers these days seem far more interested in the soothing aura of romances between unequals.
In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm. Picture Faye Dunaway in "Network" if she'd had to stay home, or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" without the charm.
The same attraction of unequals animated Richard Curtis's "Love Actually," a 2003 holiday hit. The witty and sophisticated British prime minister, played by Hugh Grant, falls for the chubby girl who wheels the tea and scones into his office. A businessman married to the substantial Emma Thompson falls for his sultry secretary. A writer falls for his maid, who speaks only Portuguese.
(I wonder if the trend in making maids who don't speak English heroines is related to the trend of guys who like to watch Kelly Ripa in the morning with the sound turned off?)
Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.
As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."
A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors.
As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study, summed it up for reporters: "Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women." Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.
"The hypothesis," Dr. Brown said, "is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising offspring that are not their own." Women, by contrast, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them. And men did not show a preference when it came to one-night stands.
A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.
So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax? The more women achieve, the less desirable they are? Women want to be in a relationship with guys they can seriously talk to - unfortunately, a lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't have to talk to.
I asked the actress and writer Carrie Fisher, on the East Coast to promote her novel "The Best Awful," who confirmed that women who challenge men are in trouble.
"I haven't dated in 12 million years," she said drily. "I gave up on dating powerful men because they wanted to date women in the service professions. So I decided to date guys in the service professions. But then I found out that kings want to be treated like kings, and consorts want to be treated like kings, too."
Moral: It is fine for women to whine for someone who "meets their needs" - but when men want the same thing - it must be because they are threatened my powerful women.
Yes Mistress Dowd.
"Mommy"? LOL...(I know it is required posting)
correction "my" = "by"
Mo is still looking for excuses as to why she got dumped.
Dude... You mom is HOOOTTT!
Oh geez. Dowd needs a psychologist bigtime... I've never known anyone to exemplify bitterness quite as well as she does.
Hubba hubba hubba.
And she looks it! Sounds like Mo has a huge bug up her. Thanks for ther CZJ picture.
I like the old "Viginwhore" type myself.
Sounds like Maureen is going thru a mid-life crisis.
what a bunch of baloney! maybe the women down hangs with are repellant to good men? I mean who wants to marry a girl who plays feminazi games all the time?
if ya wanna get married, become the marrigable type.
BTW: My lady is both sweet AND smart.
This story is a whole boatload of crap. Nothing has changed, Men have always wanted wives who act like wives. Women who want to raise children and be at home for them. The traditional role of the male breadwinner hasnt changed , he male still wants to be the breadwinner, the guy who provides for the wife, That hasnt changed a bit.
Today many women want to be equal with men and thats fine I suppose, its just that most men dont want them that way. Feminists made their bed , now they have to either sleep in it or start acting like women again. It has nothing to do with men wanting to be kings, They just want to be men in the traditional role.Its not the men who are into this changing roles thing its the women, and its sending the divorce rate thru the roof.
Poor Maureen...she thinks she's too smart for men. Actually, it's the other way around.
Women, by contrast, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them.Bullshyt!
NOW I see.... Dowd wrote that bullsqueeze.
Simple: men want a life partner - they don't want to spend a lifetime competing with their mate.
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