Prophet II: ...the demon shell carry a nine-bladed sword! Nine-bladed! Not two, or five, or seven, but nine, which he will wield on all wretched sinner-sinners, just like you sir, there! And the horns shall be on the head...
Prophet III: ...through Hebediah, his servants. There shall in that time be rumours, of things going astray. Ehm...and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are. And nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi...with a sort of rackey work base, that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers, that their fathers put there only just the night before, 'bout eight o'clock.
Excerpted from Monty Python's Life of Brian
LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis
one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother
Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
How does it, uh... how does it work?
LAUNCELOT: I know not, my liege.
ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments!
MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
BROTHER: "And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high,
saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou
mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord
did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and
carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and
fruit bats, and large --"
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out
the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the
counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either
count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is
right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be
reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards
thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
ARTHUR: Right! One... two... five!
LAUNCELOT: Three, sir!
He's not the messiah. He's just a naughty boy.