Susan Lawrence founded Stop the Rod after she found one advertised in Home School Digest.
Posted on 02/06/2005 4:18:14 PM PST by SmithL
Arlington, Mass. -- To raise a child, one needs three invaluable allies: the Bible, the help of an extended family and "biblical-based resources" -- 9-inch-long spanking paddles of blue polyurethane, according to Steve Haymond from Bakersfield, who sells the paddles online for $6.50 apiece.
Twyla Bullock, in Eufaula, Okla., swears by the Rod -- a 22-inch, $5 white nylon whipping stick her husband designed and produced until recently. Named after the biblical "rod of correction," the Rod provides "a faith-based way to discipline children ... and train them as Christians," Bullock explains.
Susan Lawrence, a devout Lutheran from Arlington, Mass., is appalled.
"Christians are supposed to listen to Jesus," Lawrence said, bringing the Rod down with a thump on the seat of her living room futon and looking at the resulting dent with incredulity. "Can you imagine Jesus teaching to use the Rod?"
Corporal punishment has long been an accepted method of child discipline among evangelical and fundamentalist groups, but an increasing number of Christians are raising objections, arguing that advocates of spanking wrongly cite Scripture to justify a practice that should be banned. Lawrence, who peppers her conversation with quotes from the New Testament, says striking children defies the Golden Rule from the Gospel of Matthew: "In everything do to others as you would have them do to you."
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
Susan Lawrence founded Stop the Rod after she found one advertised in Home School Digest.
Why is it that people with calm, compliant children want to force their parenting methods on people who have more challenging children?
""Corporal punishment has long been an accepted method of child discipline among evangelical and fundamentalist groups""
It's kind of funny that those are the groups with the lowest crime rates.
This stuff is creepy. Advertising methods of corporal punishment leads me to think some folks get a real charge out of whuppin' their kids.
I've always wondered that myself. I have one child that would feel bad and start crying the second you raised your voice at her. She rarely needed spanking.
Why would anyone send away for a plastic rod? And who actually hits their kids with a plastic rod?
Considering that when He returns, it will be with a rod of iron, YES.
Considering that He said, "I come not to change on jot of The Law..."; and condsidering what The Law had to say about punishment, YES.
Gee, this should help stop Christian bashing. Let`s comes across as radical Muslims. On the other hand it probably will help considering how liberals treat radical Muslims.
No, I'm not against someone spanking their kids.
I just think a plastic rod is kind of an odd thing.
I figure that IF a slap needs to be administered, an open hand is sufficient, and only once at a time, for children under five. After that age, spanking tends to be counterproductive for most children (then again I don't have a hellion on my hands).
It was accepted by society until Dr. Spoke and his books on raising children permissively came out.
It was accepted by society until Dr. Spoke and his books on raising children permissivly came out.
Lay you odds her "Jesus" won't send anyone to Hell, either.
Dan
Yes, but hairbrushes weren't!
re the "christians" who think spanking should be banned... there are plenty of "christians" who think abortions are ok too.. just because you call yourself something doesn't make it so.
Maybe some televangelist prayed over it or something.
Like I said, a parent who would actually sit down and place an order for an implement to beat their children with has bigger problems than disobedient kids.
Let's see, when I was growing up, I had to choose the implement that I would be beaten with, the "plastic rod" looks pretty good...
It's like, there aren't enough things around the house that you could hit your kids with ?
there are plenty of "christians" who think abortions are ok too.. just because you call yourself something doesn't make it so.
I suspect you'd be refering to the ever increasing Social,Progressive,Liberal Christian?
There is not excuse for being *proud* of beating a child.
As a generation, the boomers haven't shown many ill effects from widespread use of corporal punishment. Among my peers who grew up in the seventies/eighties, I see lots of damage from the effects of divorce, but none from having been spanked by loving parents.
There are many children who would rarely, if ever, need a spanking, and there are others who need it regularly in order to develop self-control and respect for limits. Outlawing spanking would further damage the already threatened parent-child relationship in our society. I think it would encourage a lot of parents to give up on parenting entirely. I shudder for the children of the Yuppie parents who plainly have done just that.
I just think a plastic rod is kind of an odd thing.
I used to think the same thing about the willow branch my Granmama would make me go out and cut myself. I always cut a small one and she would make me go back out to get a bigger one. Having to go get it was more of a deterent than the actual "whipping".
I loved and respected that woman more than anyone.
Hey Dan.
WHAT JESUS DID:
John 2:14 And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting:
John 2:15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;
I was raised with hairbrushes, yardsticks, branches, belts, whatever was handy...and indeed I smacked my children's chubby little thighs from time to time, namely when the child's disobedience presented an immediate danger (ie, trying to run away from me in a parking lot) or when the child's in-your-face defiance demanded immediate correction. I did not like to do it...and there's always a risk of harm when an angry adult reaches for a child. Even in "formal spankings" I never used anything besides my bare hand, but even so, it felt terrible to both of us and rarely resolved anything.
Once my kids reached an age of better comprehension, hitting seemed a very poor way to deal with whatever the problem was. My kids are strong-willed, and spanking was tempting...but I knew there would be a time when they would be too large and strong to punish physically. If I was ruling by fear up to that point, my arsenal would be empty when that confrontation came. I also knew that most schools don't permit corporal punishment (a discussion for another thread) and that the kids whose parents relied primarily on spanking to "control" their kids created little monsters for their teachers.
Spanking didn't make me a better-behaved child...it just made me sneakier. I also felt I could not talk to my parents about my mistakes or ask questions that might make them angry enough to hit me. I also remember that my paramount emotion while my bottom was smarting after a spanking was not "remorse" or "resolve to do better" but "rage" and, when punished unfairly, 'hate"..
By contrast, there are a LOT of teachable moments that come about because my kids know they can talk to me and even confess without fear. They know there will be discipline involved, but they don't have to be afraid of "what I might do to them". Sure, they may still "hate" me from time to time, but I hope that burning rage is never from my striking them and them desperately wanting to hit me back.
Making a choice not to spank doesn't automatically make me "permissive"...just as I would hesitate to call corporal punishment by most parents "abusive". In my own experience, however, other methods of discipline have proven more effective than spanking...and foster good communication instead of vengeful silence. As a side-note, it's interesting to me that nearly identical discussions occur on the dog training forum I read. Most agree that there are better ways to train a dog than striking the dog and most roundly criticize those who confess to hitting their dogs...And yet I can't count how many times I've seen dog owners at the park using the less effective, but "more humane" collars out of fear that they'll hurt their precious doggies who then turn to and smack their kids repeatedly for some minor infraction.
It sickens me to watch some of the things people do to their children in the name of discipline in public. I can't help but wonder if they behave with so little restraint in public, how do they behave behind closed doors? It's ugly and it doesn't really work. And I think the use of plastic rods and special paddles is obscene.
obscene: 1 : disgusting to the senses : REPULSIVE 2. a : repulsive by reason of crass disregard of moral or ethical principles b : so excessive as to be offensive
Good for you. I agree completely that it is not moral to hit a child
There are too many people who feel intimidated about saying that.
But the hittrs provide their own evidence just by denying any possiblity that there might be a better way. They _want_ to hit their kids. Otherwise there would be at least some sincere questions as to how non-spankers succeed...a real search for alternatives.
They were adults.
And you would be wrong. The use of plastic rods and special paddles are a means of REPRODUCIBLY providing an instrument which will hurt but not do lasting physical damage. You were actually MORE likely to injure your child by using your hand than if you would have used a paddle (paddle spreads the force of the blow over a larger area).
Yup, I have a sister-in-law who thought like you do. She used "time-outs" and verbal disciplinary methods only. Her kids are undiscplined little terrors today, and headed down the path to juvenile delinquency.
Another sister-in-law administered "hand-to-butt" chastisement as needed. HER children are great, polite, intelligent kids, who get great grades in school.
You are about right. I whacked my kids past the age of 5 or 6, but not by much. What's more, no one should touch a kid when he is mad. For the most part, there are very few times when any adult should get mad at a kid who is less than about 12 or 13 years old and well before that time, if you have not taught them right from wrong, then you have lost them anyway.
Use corporal punishment, but only do so rarely, else it will lose its effectiveness. Legitimate corporal punishment causes very little physical pain.
Usually, only the threat is needed with a normal kid. Some kids do not respond to physical discipline at all, and no kid is the same.
Parenting is a art. That is for sure.
I have vivid memories of the father of one of my friends doing this... no matter who (friends) was there to witness it. It made me so embarrassed and sad for her.
I was raised with a few swats to the butt with an open hand, so I'm told, I don't remember it. (save one, but that's a funny story) My mom believed in spanking small children who were too young to explain punishments to or reason with, and only then over outright disobedience or safety issues.
I am creeped out by parents who feel the need to use painful implements. It shouldn't be about pain. And I think it is particularly weird for a parent to BUY an implement to hit their child with.
Yeah, the one that comes off the venetian blinds works just as well, and it's free! B^)
In my youth, the implements were sold door-to-door. Is Fuller Brush still in business?
Horse manure!
Parenting requires many different tools. You can never take any of them off the table.
Done properly, there is nothing immoral about it, and you ignore this tool to you and your child's peril.
There is a big difference between a spanking and a beating. And I agree that spankings are for little children. Older ones get limits, and it works if they know that you mean it and stick to it.
I can't believe all these sadists around here. My parents beat the snot out of me for every deed or misdeed. By my teens I was in full rebellion and hated both of them.
We never laid a hand on our kids. They are all grown, paired off well, and excellent people. My wife and I stopped alcoholism and child abuse in one generation and are darned proud of it. This "whack em, hit em, beat em" crap is so much hogwash.
You clearly didn't have a young child who was like me.
There are natural consequences to bad behavior. For example, what would happen if a cop pulled you over and you told him to "go F himself"
and he told you to get out of the car and you said no
Eventually your going to get whacked with the club.
There is a distinction between discipline and punishment. It seems your sister-in-law doesn't know what it is.
If this thread holds true there will be not one post asking a non-beater how well their methods worked and what techniques they used.
well, put bluntly: your parents were abusive fools.
there were exactly two rules in my parents' house which entailed beltwhipping for violations:
1. You will not lie
2. You will not steal
all punishments were served COLD. No anger involved (though the appearance of anger was sometimes needed).
I and my siblings turned out quite well, thank you.
"Use corporal punishment, but only do so rarely, else it will lose its effectiveness."
Exactly. What worked for me were my mom's THREATS to spank me. She rarely needed to, but I understood that she would, if pressed. If such things were outlawed, such threats wouldn't work too well.
What's more, she often combined the combined the threat with humiliation, too - "Do you want me to pull your pants down and spank you right here in public?" - in such a way that would gall any touchy-feely, self-esteem types - but it was 100% effective.
Not if they've been brought up correctly.
After we were sure that we were under control, we asked the child to come into a quiet room. We explained what the child had done to deserve discipline. We showed them how their disobedience violated one of God's commandments. The child had an opportunity to apologize. Then we administered the spanking in a very dispassionate manner. After we were finished, we would comfort and hug the child, showing that the offense was forgiven and forgotten.
It was all very sweet. The children were always happy and cheerful for the rest of the day.
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