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Why Women Cheat
WFTV ^ | 2/7/05

Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock

Why Women Cheat

Expert Reveals Warning Signs

UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005

CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.

The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.

She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.

That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.

Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.

He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.

"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.

Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.

"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.

After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.

"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.

Just how many married women have had sex with other men?

In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.

In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.

"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.

Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.

"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.

A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.

"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.

Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.

"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.

But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.

"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.

For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.

"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: adultery; women
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1 posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
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To: KidGlock
Women are becoming just as piggish as men. I saw it at college ten years ago and see it in "the real world" today. Why is it so many women feel they have to get drunk and sleep around and act like loud frat boys to show they are independent?

American women have a reputation for being the biggest whores on the planet for a reason folks. Flame away!

2 posted on 02/07/2005 2:18:23 PM PST by Clemenza (Are you going to bark all day, little doggie, or are you going to bite?)
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To: KidGlock
Because they can.

Sound familiar?

3 posted on 02/07/2005 2:19:08 PM PST by OldFriend (America's glory is not dominion, but liberty.)
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To: KidGlock
Marraige is over-rated and (what passes for courts in the US) disembowel the moron males in divorce actions.

Add to this the growing infidelity of wives, and marriage becomes increasingly extinct.

4 posted on 02/07/2005 2:19:54 PM PST by FormerACLUmember (Honoring Saint Jude's assistance every day.)
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To: KidGlock
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.

It's interesting that this Dawson, a "relationship coach," has nothing to say about right or wrong, only "how you feel about yourself." Even in talking about children, he doesn't emphasize how they feel about their parents betraying the family, only how their "reaction" might make the cheating spouse feel.

Psycho-blather.

5 posted on 02/07/2005 2:20:16 PM PST by Tax-chick (Wielder of the Dread Words of Power, "Bless your heart, honey!")
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To: KidGlock
It just had to be Cleveland.


6 posted on 02/07/2005 2:20:40 PM PST by rdb3 (The wife asked how I slept last night. I said, "How do I know? I was asleep!")
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To: FormerACLUmember; OldFriend

Just say NO to marriage. Consider yourself lucky, OF, that you grew up in an earlier era.


7 posted on 02/07/2005 2:20:51 PM PST by Clemenza (Are you going to bark all day, little doggie, or are you going to bite?)
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To: KidGlock; Sam's Army; HenryLeeII

Wow, great article.  I'd really begun to suspect that something was going on between my wife and her cousin who moved in with us from Russia.  He didn't look much like her and I'd never known that she had family in Russia, but you know, you've just gotta trust sometimes.

I feel much better now.

Owl_Eagle

”Guns Before Butter.”

8 posted on 02/07/2005 2:21:43 PM PST by South Hawthorne (Guest Worker Program = Amnesty)
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To: Clemenza
Why is it so many women feel they have to get drunk and sleep around and act like loud frat boys to show they are independent?

Because it is being marketed for all the marketers are worth. Bitter feminists want to exact revenge on all men for imaginary crimes, and they hate families anyway.

Personally, any woman (or man) who will cheat in the way described isn't worth having.

It's just a shame they have to take it out on the children, who are always the main victim of their infidelity. I would like to see them burn at the stake for it, but that's just me.

9 posted on 02/07/2005 2:22:44 PM PST by hopespringseternal
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To: KidGlock

Intersting.....if the man cheats, it's his fault. If the woman cheats, it's STILL his fault.


10 posted on 02/07/2005 2:22:45 PM PST by stylin19a (Marines - end of discussion)
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To: Clemenza

Marriage is fun ~ ex-wives are like motorcycles ~ ya can't have too many. :)


11 posted on 02/07/2005 2:24:32 PM PST by blackie
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To: stylin19a
if the man cheats, it's his fault. If the woman cheats, it's STILL his fault.

It prepared him for divorce...

If it's hers, she gets it. If it's his, she gets it.

12 posted on 02/07/2005 2:24:43 PM PST by KidGlock (W-1)
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To: KidGlock

The fact of the matter is, when two people are intimitely involved in one another's lives, both the urge to cheat and the ability to do so without immediately keying off the partner is hugely diminished.

I have been married twice, and probably will never do so again. I have learned, however, that in each there was a point where I began to "take it for granted."

No one person can try hard enough for both, but at the same time as long as both try and know the other one is trying as well...It is possible to avoid becoming a piece of this sad statistic.


13 posted on 02/07/2005 2:25:07 PM PST by Heavyrunner (Socialize this.)
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To: Clemenza
Who knew you went around the world asking foreigners what they thought of American Women.

Tell us more and when will your conclusions be published?

14 posted on 02/07/2005 2:25:22 PM PST by OldFriend (America's glory is not dominion, but liberty.)
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To: stylin19a

"Intersting.....if the man cheats, it's his fault. If the woman cheats, it's STILL his fault."


WOW! Bump to the top!


15 posted on 02/07/2005 2:25:25 PM PST by Kennesaw
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To: FormerACLUmember

I am married and I have never been happier in my life.


16 posted on 02/07/2005 2:25:44 PM PST by Little Ray (I'm a reactionary, hirsute, gun-owning, knuckle dragging, Christian Neanderthal and proud of it!)
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To: Clemenza
And the Femi-Nazis are livid at American males choosing foreign born wives over the unfaithful-work-you-until-you-die ungrateful U.S. women.

The MSM culture has produced women completely unfit to be wives or mothers. Time to look elsewhere.

17 posted on 02/07/2005 2:25:50 PM PST by FormerACLUmember (Honoring Saint Jude's assistance every day.)
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To: KidGlock

In order to cheat and adulterize, it has always taken two creeps.
I don't think there has been any change in the number of men or women doing this, just that maybe for the first time they realize women are involved as cheaters as well.

SURPRISE..... not!


18 posted on 02/07/2005 2:25:50 PM PST by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: KidGlock

I want to know, why are all stories about women cheating made to feel 'not-so-bad' because the women have 'reasons' to cheat?

Like they have some excuse, because they weren't lavished with enough attention or money or whatever.

When a guy does it, he's just a dirty sex-crazed maniac. But for the women, there's these deep psychological needs.

Double standard, bigtime.


19 posted on 02/07/2005 2:25:56 PM PST by G32
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To: Clemenza
American women have a reputation for being the biggest whores on the planet for a reason folks. Flame away!

****************

You're single, right?

20 posted on 02/07/2005 2:25:56 PM PST by trisham
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To: KidGlock

Because it is the only way to win at poker
(what? I thought you meant cheat at cards!)


21 posted on 02/07/2005 2:26:07 PM PST by najida (TO A GOOD HOME: Cute, male baby chinchilla. Please send references and criminal background check.)
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To: Clemenza

Stop it. Not every girl wants to screw a man and feed him dinner and iron his clothes without a ring thanks.


22 posted on 02/07/2005 2:26:38 PM PST by cyborg (Department of Homelife Security threat level is GREEN.)
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To: Little Ray
I am married and I have never been happier in my life.

You are a lucky dude, and I wish you well.

8>)

23 posted on 02/07/2005 2:27:25 PM PST by FormerACLUmember (Honoring Saint Jude's assistance every day.)
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To: trisham
Yep. I didn't say all women, just too many, that's all.

American women's reputation for being "easy" can be found in the writings of European and Latin American journalists as far back as the late 1950s.

24 posted on 02/07/2005 2:27:41 PM PST by Clemenza (Are you going to bark all day, little doggie, or are you going to bite?)
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To: cyborg

You IRON!!?!


25 posted on 02/07/2005 2:27:58 PM PST by najida (TO A GOOD HOME: Cute, male baby chinchilla. Please send references and criminal background check.)
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To: stylin19a
Intersting.....if the man cheats, it's his fault. If the woman cheats, it's STILL his fault.

It's been that way since Adam and Eve.

26 posted on 02/07/2005 2:28:01 PM PST by elbucko (Feral Republican)
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To: stylin19a
I hope this come out right, but I've been on both sides of this, but I fell in love about 20 years ago, and it's still like the honeymoon...

We haave our little rows, we can never stay mad at each other....neither of us is perfect, but as 2 we are.

27 posted on 02/07/2005 2:28:20 PM PST by The Wizard (DemonRATS: enemies of America)
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To: Clemenza
I am really sick of hearing how men are pigs and how men have always been pigs. You are conditioned to think that way because of the leftist crap that has been pushed down our throats. People are pigs, period. Who do you think the pig men are screwing. It takes two. If men are pigs so are women. If women don't wasn't to be treated as sex objects, keep your damn legs closed. Try saying no once in a while. Women always were piggish as you call them, they were more willing to lie about it in the past. Who do you think all of these pig men were doing.
28 posted on 02/07/2005 2:28:27 PM PST by satchmodog9 (Murder and weather are our only news)
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To: KidGlock
Ah yes, the womens movement dividend. If a woman gives it up on a first date, I may indulge, but not go back. Kind of like a Kleenex tissue, hard to use one twice! Difficult anymore to find a girl that makes you wait it out and keep showing up to prove you're serious. Younger girls are easy, older women seem desperate.
29 posted on 02/07/2005 2:28:43 PM PST by Time is now (We'll live to see it......Does anyone see it yet?....)
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To: OldFriend

American women have a very bad reputation abroad thanks to the sex soaked media satellites beaming bad behavior around the world. My sister and I confirmed this personally in our travels abroad.


30 posted on 02/07/2005 2:28:49 PM PST by cyborg (Department of Homelife Security threat level is GREEN.)
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To: KidGlock
True. This article talks about communication.

Same is true at work.

If tasks and how to accomplish them are not communicated correctly (People speaking and others listening) then Task Forces (i.e. Detectives) have to go out and find out what's the problem.

My uncle placed a video camera in his business to provide protection for the business (to keep tabs on his wife). His wife left with the guy in the survellience camera making everyday visits to his wife.


31 posted on 02/07/2005 2:28:53 PM PST by Idisarthur
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To: KidGlock

I listen, but all I hear is bitchin' about how I don't listen...then white noise.


32 posted on 02/07/2005 2:29:22 PM PST by DainBramage
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To: G32

"When a guy does it, he's just a dirty sex-crazed maniac. But for the women, there are these deep psychological needs."

Double standard Indeed!


33 posted on 02/07/2005 2:29:32 PM PST by Kennesaw
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To: najida

Yes *lol*


34 posted on 02/07/2005 2:29:34 PM PST by cyborg (Department of Homelife Security threat level is GREEN.)
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To: KidGlock
Wow. Kathy Dawson is working very hard in this story to find a way to blame a man. Everything she talks about involves one shortcoming of the man after another. Sure hope she doesn't counsel couples.

"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.

Translated: Man's fault. Too verbal.

A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.

Translated: Man's fault. Insensitive.

"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.

Translated: Man's fault. Not verbal enough.

Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.

Translated: Man's fault. Insensitive.

"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.

Translated: Man's fault. Insensitive.

Are these people OTR?

35 posted on 02/07/2005 2:29:42 PM PST by Cyber Liberty ( 2004, Ravin' Lunatic since 4/98)
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To: cyborg
Stop it. Not every girl wants to screw a man and feed him dinner and iron his clothes without a ring thanks.

Wait a minute.

Even with a ring, in my experience.

36 posted on 02/07/2005 2:30:03 PM PST by Publius6961 (The most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen, ignorance and stupidity.)
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To: cyborg

For that alone,
I'D marry you!


37 posted on 02/07/2005 2:30:14 PM PST by najida (TO A GOOD HOME: Cute, male baby chinchilla. Please send references and criminal background check.)
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To: FormerACLUmember; cyborg
The MSM culture has produced women completely unfit to be wives or mothers. Time to look elsewhere.

While many Latin American women I know are materialistic, at least they APPRECIATE the efforts we guys go through to support the family. They also NEVER criticize their husbands in public (behind closed doors is a different matter), which is something that REALLY PISSES ME OFF about American women.

A Bruna from Sao Paulo or an Ana Maria from Bogota for me please!

38 posted on 02/07/2005 2:30:36 PM PST by Clemenza (Are you going to bark all day, little doggie, or are you going to bite?)
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To: Clemenza
American women's reputation for being "easy" can be found in the writings of European and Latin American journalists as far back as the late 1950s.

American women have nothing like the depraved reputation of French women. The most recent example being:

France’s literary set get excited about gigolos

Regards, Ivan

39 posted on 02/07/2005 2:30:40 PM PST by MadIvan (One blog to bring them all...and in the Darkness bind them: http://www.theringwraith.com/)
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To: KidGlock

Same reason(s) men do.


40 posted on 02/07/2005 2:30:56 PM PST by k2blader (It is neither compassionate nor conservative to support the expansion of socialism.)
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To: KidGlock
Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.

And the 67% of the married men who were lying.

41 posted on 02/07/2005 2:31:32 PM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: KidGlock

This is the end result of listening to the feminists--namely, that women have a natural-born right to behave even worse than men. And if women start out with the preconception that all men are rats, behaving even worse takes some doing.

Too bad. For most people, the only real satisfaction and happiness in life comes from marriage, family, and children. It's getting much harder to find a husband or wife who will stick with you than it used to be. This is not to say that marriage is all peaches and cream, because it certainly isn't. But the selfish or lonely alternatives are even worse.


42 posted on 02/07/2005 2:31:43 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: KidGlock

So . . where does the swinging lifestyle fit into this?


43 posted on 02/07/2005 2:31:46 PM PST by twinzmommy
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To: Clemenza
American women's reputation for being "easy" can be found in the writings of European and Latin American journalists as far back as the late 1950s

Good thing for we Americans that we don't give a shit what Europeans and Latin Americans think of us. Or haven't you heard?

44 posted on 02/07/2005 2:31:56 PM PST by Dad2Angels
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To: Clemenza
American women's reputation for being "easy" can be found in the writings of European and Latin American journalists as far back as the late 1950s.

*************

Anecdotal evidence. Works for me.

45 posted on 02/07/2005 2:31:56 PM PST by trisham
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To: DainBramage

That's not a wife...that's a test pattern!


46 posted on 02/07/2005 2:32:07 PM PST by Cyber Liberty ( 2004, Ravin' Lunatic since 4/98)
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To: satchmodog9

Yeah, but were there scores of girls driking, swearing like sailors and acting like louts 40 years ago, aside from the ones that were "for sale?"


47 posted on 02/07/2005 2:32:12 PM PST by Clemenza (Are you going to bark all day, little doggie, or are you going to bite?)
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To: cyborg
You would IRON Clothes?

I think I am in love.

8>)

48 posted on 02/07/2005 2:32:40 PM PST by FormerACLUmember (Honoring Saint Jude's assistance every day.)
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To: Publius6961

it had to be said -- thanks!


49 posted on 02/07/2005 2:32:41 PM PST by Temple Drake
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To: Clemenza
American women have a reputation for being the biggest whores on the planet for a reason folks.

You're complaining?

50 posted on 02/07/2005 2:32:55 PM PST by PJ-Comix
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