Posted on 02/08/2005 3:49:38 PM PST by Ahithophel
By Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.
A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage..
Andy needs to find a woman who won't complain about changing his Depends.
Very good!
Where'd that come from?
This 41 year old woman loves it! And it's true. I could care less what some man is thinking but will listen if he wants to tell me.
Lesbians!
Women over forty are just sooooooo oooooooolllllllllddddddddd!!!!!!!!
:) Hehehe! I'm only kidding!
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN URGES A YOUNG FRIEND TO TAKE AN OLD MISTRESS
June 25, 1745
MY DEAR FRIEND:-
I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural inclination you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you will find solid Happiness. Your Reason against entering into it at present appears to be not well founded. The Circumstantial Advantages you have in View by Postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that makes the complete Being. Separate she wants his force of Body and Strength of Reason; he her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are most likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissors.
If you get a prudent, healthy wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.
But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking that Commerce with the Sex is inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice that in your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. This you call a Paradox, and demand my reasons. They are these:
1. Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations; their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Man, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand Services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an Old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience.
4. Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and Wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the Dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable by improvement.
6. Because the sin is less. The Debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy.
8. 8th & lastly. They are so grateful!!!
Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry immediately; being sincerely
Your Affectionate Friend,
Benj. Franklin
This is pretty good for old Anj.
Maybe because younger women just don't know THE RULES.
That's not something that comes with age Andy m'boy.
It's something that comes with character. But I'm not surprised the difference eluded you.
Maybe because younger women just don't know THE RULES.
I think it's because as we get older we know it's better sometimes to just listen instead of ask. If the dude wants to tell you whats on his mind he'll tell you. Otherwise just let it ride.
That's actually one of the RULEs.
Ain't that the truth!
That's actually one of the RULEs.
Really? I never even read that book because I thought it sounded cheezy.
It is cheezy and it's not meant to be followed 100%.
Speak for yourself! Members of my family are notorious for "surprise babies" even past forty.
My mother was scared clear up til fifty...
LOL!
If I get blessed with motherhood at 46, I will name it after the doctor who performed my tubal ligation. (I hope it's not a girl; his name was Horace.)
Actually, I think that it's because most of those women, like their like minded male counterparts, are long dead by that time...
As someone (Redd Foxx?) once said - "They don't yell, they don't swell, and they're grateful as **ll".
I value women over 40 because no woman under 40 would pay any attention to me.
Actually, I give the opposite advice to young women...MARRY AN OLDER MAN...They appreciate you more, they know what's important, and if they have daughters, they respect you more.
You're still doing ok. I typically have to wait until they expire completely.
One of my favorite writings by Franklin. Thanks for posting it. Ben had a reputation as a ladies man in his day, if I remember my history correctly. So he was no doubt writing from experience.
"Actually, I think that it's because most of those women, like their like minded male counterparts, are long dead by that time..."
Ha! I'm amazed, CONSTANTLY amazed, at how alive I am -
but you, grasshopper, why are you hanging out in the morgue looking for dates? Go out into the real world or something to meet people over forty. Or, if you want to meet people over forty as cool as me, go out at night and look for the brassy-haired girlsinger wearing black, on stage with a rockabilly band. If you're lucky I'll autograph your bootleg version of me singing blues at the Continental Club in Austin Texas.
Or, you could just let life pass you by...
Hehe. So am I, so am I.
If you're lucky I'll autograph your bootleg version of me singing blues at the Continental Club in Austin Texas.
Or, you could just let life pass you by...
Oh, God, were I truly lucky, then you would be spending time with me...
"Got nothing good to say? Come sit by me."
I LOVE women over 40. I'm 28 btw.
There's a whole world out there! :) And you're going to be constantly amazed at how wonderful it is...
Over forty and all.
Actually, I think that it's because most of those women, like their like minded male counterparts, are long dead by that time...
Maybe I misunderstood you but I am far from dead and I'm 41.
"seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant."
And at 41, you are still young. 8^)
Gotcha. Thanks for the clarification.
Wholeheartedly I agree with your assessment of women over 40. However, I think your attitude towards men is quite degrading and inconsiderate. Your words have only elevated you above the male species, or at least your primitive view of Man. This is a form of inflated arrogance, to degrade men in order to put one’s self or others on a pedestal. It’s a dangerous thing to do, to create a scapegoat, and to forward such a message to the rest of the world. This attitude continues to perpetuate the division between the sexes; it is an attack at the very core of humanity’s souls.
Why can’t women over forty be celebrated without degrading Man?
This attitude saddens me, saddens my soul.
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