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ICONOCLAST ^ | William Grim, Marni Malarkey, et al

Posted on 02/10/2005 2:18:28 PM PST by Apolitical


(Scarsdale, NY) -- Rushing to the defense of controversial University of Colorado professor and pseudo-Indian Ward Churchill, pseudo-Indians from as far afield as the Hamptons and Berkeley are joining forces to get the United States federal government to recognize their claims as an official non-existing ethnic group.

Running Polo Pony, Chief of the Pseudo-Sioux Nation of Scarsdale, New York and Greater Westchester County, yesterday told reporters at a pow-wow held outside the Dakota Apartment Building on Manhattan's East Side, that the Pseudo-Sioux are prepared to engage in "virtual scalpings" if the Bush Administration does not grant them the right to build a fake casino on tribal lands in the East 80s.

"My people have suffered much at the hands of the pale faces," said Sleeps With Rock Stars, a member of the Neo-Navajo Tribe of Nantucket. "For years, agents of the Bureau of Pseudo-Indian Affairs have been taxing our trust funds at confiscatory rates and have stolen tribal lands in the ski districts of Colorado and Utah in order to build Air Force bases. We've put on our Clinique and Prescriptives warpaint and we won't back down until we get what is rightfully ours".........................

(Excerpt) Read more at ...

TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: churchill; fakeindians; injuns; satire; sault; sioux; sooeee; sue; wardchurchill; warpath
The ultimate parody news site for conservatives and libertarians.
1 posted on 02/10/2005 2:18:29 PM PST by Apolitical
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To: Apolitical

Running Polo Pony! I love it.

2 posted on 02/10/2005 2:27:32 PM PST by kitkat (Our Founding Fathers are proud of Pres. George Walker Bush)
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To: kitkat

I like "Sleeps with Rock Stars."

3 posted on 02/10/2005 2:33:25 PM PST by Montfort
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To: Apolitical

I can only offer my fake sympathies and fake respect for these fake braves.

May they achieve the fake victory they falsely seek.

4 posted on 02/10/2005 2:44:59 PM PST by Imal (Saluting SPC Taylor Burk, a genuine hero and true American. d. 1/26/2005)
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To: Montfort

Chief Sitting Volvo and Running Birkenstock come to mind.

5 posted on 02/10/2005 5:13:12 PM PST by battlegearboat
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