"Gay" penguins spark protest (Gays object male/female pairing)

Yahoo ^ | 2/11/05

[KidGlock]

"Gay" penguins spark protest

1 hour, 4 minutes ago

BERLIN (Reuters) - A plan by a German zoo to test the sexual appetites of a group of suspected homosexual penguins has sparked outrage among gay and lesbian groups, who fear zookeepers might force them to turn straight.

"All sorts of gay and lesbian associations have been e-mailing and calling in to protest," said a spokesman for the zoo in the northwestern city of Bremerhaven on Friday.

He said the zoo concluded the penguins might be gay after seeing male penguins trying to mate with other males and trying to hatch offspring out of stones.

German media reported that female Swedish penguins would be brought to the zoo to test the theory, but when word got out about the plan, the phones started ringing.

"Nobody here is trying to break-up same sex pairs by force," the zoo's director Heike Kueck told public broadcaster NDR. "We don't know if the three male pairs are really gay or just got together because of a lack of females."

[Modernman]

I had a customer once and when I asked what he did for a living he said"Erectile specialist"

Beads of sweat break out on Mears' face as he repeats to himself "Must...keep...straight...face"

[Modernman]

Penguins-bi-hmmm? Bi-polar?

Penguins aren't bi-polar. They only live in Antarctica.

[Ditto]

Now, I have heard everything.

[nothingnew]

Does anybody know the exact day that Hell was loosed and took over the earth?

When satan and his followers were cast out of heaven? Just a guess.

FMCDH(BITS)

[retrokitten]

Now THERE's a worthwhile cause...Homosexual Penguin Rights.

Let's talk about why my dog (RIP) used to hump everything (male, female, or otherwise) including the GARDEN HOSE. What "sexual orientation" does that make my dog?

OMG! LOL!!!! This is the funniest thing I have read on FR all day!

[Sacajaweau]

Obituary: The two male penguins were last seen fighting over a rock. Finally, George picked up the rock and hurled it at Harry. Lo and behold, it turns out that Mary had given the rock to Harold. As she tearfully looked at Harold lying there lifeless, she became enraged. She picked up the rock and hurled it at George. He fell to the ground, lifeless.

Just passing by, Louisa saw the look of sadness on Mary's face. She reached behind her wing and took a rock out the size of a baseball.

They were married in the Penguin Chapel in LasVegas where Mary turned in her big rock for a handful of chips. She won a slew of money, traded them into rocks, divorced Louisa and went to the Bahamas where she owns a Penguin Brothel.

[eastsider]

The researchers. Happy FRiday : )

[EdReform]

A plan by a German zoo to test the sexual appetites of a group of suspected homosexual penguins has sparked outrage among gay and lesbian groups, who fear zookeepers might force them to turn straight.

Unbelievable! They're against 'ex-gay' penguins, too!

[I'm ALL Right!]

"If one objects to a dog humping your leg, does that make you a 'leg-o-phobe'?"

If one objects to a dog humping a garden hose, does that make you a 'hose-o-phobe'?

This is one that could go on and on....

[M-cubed]

hump everything (male, female, or otherwise) including the GARDEN HOSE.<<<...Hmmm...Im guessing he's some type of water spaniel...its in their genes!

[I'm ALL Right!]

[mvpel]

My female dog, whenever you attempt to carry a blanket from one point to another, immediately rushes over, grabs the blanket, and starts humping it.

We've never seen her do this in any other situation.

[Sacajaweau]

A man came up to us and gave us his card. He was a genetics expert. He obtained the sperm from the bulls he owned. He had just come to warn us that there were thirty healthy bulls browsing in the trees about 600 feet away and not to turn our backs to the woods. We didn't hang around very long.

[Ditto]

Just look at them. They can't keep their flippers off each other.

[polymuser]

"Thanks for your "already posted here" comments.
But tell me, where in your story does it say that gays were protesting the move by zoo keepers?
Maybe next time you should read before you comment."

Mea culpa, though I actually wrote "Already has a thread:" (which the story, before the gay protest, does), so people could see the earlier story. Note post #13 on that thread. Did I call it, or what? But, hey, thanks for the spanking, friend.

[scripter]

Too funny!

[I'm ALL Right!]

PENGUICIDE!!!

I'm ROTFL!

[Old Professer]

I'm not sure but I think there was a "manlicker" involved.

[highnoon]

That's Thuper!