Skip to comments.The Gay Child Left Behind (Maya Keyes, daughter of Alan Keyes, declared herself a lesbian)
Posted on 02/16/2005 10:06:45 PM PST by Former Military Chick
SO far 2005 hasn't been a very good year for gays and lesbians. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings slammed Buster, an animated rabbit, for visiting a Vermont girl with same-sex parents; President Bush renewed his call for an anti-gay amendment to the Constitution; and a deadly new strain of H.I.V. has surfaced.
But there was one bright spot this week. On Monday, Maya Keyes, the daughter of Alan Keyes, officially declared herself a lesbian at a gay rights rally in Annapolis, Md. It was a bit of good news for gays and lesbians, particularly those who are connoisseurs of schadenfreude. Or was it?
Alan Keyes is the Republican who moved to Illinois last year to run against Barack Obama for the United States Senate. To describe Mr. Keyes as an opponent of gay rights is putting it mildly: during his campaign Mr. Keyes described homosexuality as "selfish hedonism." When asked if he thought Mary Cheney, the lesbian daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, was a selfish hedonist, he replied, "Of course she is."
Learning that a prominent conservative like Mr. Keyes (or Randall Terry, the anti-abortion-turned-antigay-rights crusader whose son revealed last spring he is gay) has a gay relative is nothing new. Newt Gingrich, for instance, has a lesbian half-sister. But for gays and lesbians there's something particularly satisfying about watching a prominent antigay conservative learn that his or her own child is homosexual. It smacks of cosmic retribution: Mr. Keyes now has to choose between his antigay "pro-family" rhetoric and a member of his own family.
Sadly for Maya Keyes, her father apparently has more affection for his ideology than for his daughter. She says her parents kicked her out of the house and have refused to pay for her education. (Thankfully, some of those evil gay people have come forward to pay her tuition at Brown next year through the Point Foundation.) Perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Cheney could find the time to call Mr. and Mrs. Keyes and explain how parents who actually value their families react when they learn one of their children is gay.
But I can't enjoy this news about Maya Keyes as much as most gays and lesbians. As a parent, you see, I feel Alan Keyes's pain - and Randall Terry's too. I can empathize with their desire not to see their children grow up to be one of us because I live in mortal fear of my child growing up to be one of them.
There are more gay and lesbian couples having families than you may think; according to the 2000 census, there are 250,000 children in the United States being raised by same-sex parents. The debate over gay marriage can be particularly infuriating for us. Allowing gays and lesbians to marry, people like Alan Keyes and Randall Terry argue, would somehow harm children. In Washington a group calling itself Allies for Marriage and Children, co-founded by Jeff Kemp, the son of the former presidential candidate Jack Kemp, advocates a ban on gay marriage.
I live in Seattle with my partner and son. Preventing us from marrying harms my child and does nothing to protect Jeff Kemp's. So in my darker moments I find myself hoping that one day Mr. Kemp will, like Randall Terry or Alan Keyes, find himself listening to one of his children explain that he is gay.
Yet my better angels won't let me wish a gay child on anyone for fear of setting myself up for the gay-parent brand of cosmic retribution that Mr. Keyes brought down on his own head. As the children being raised by gays and lesbians grow into adulthood, it's inevitable that some of them will disappoint their gay parents. One day some prominent gay or lesbian parent - Rosie O'Donnell? Melissa Etheridge? little ol' me? - is going to cringe in horror when Matt Drudge breaks the news that one of our children has become a born-again Christian Republican who condemns his parents for their "selfish hedonism."
If we don't want the same fate to befall us - and I don't - then it's only prudent for us not to take too much pleasure in the plight of Alan Keyes. The next time someone like Maya Keyes comes tumbling out of the closet, we should all try to be gracious and not succumb to our baser instincts. Because one day it's going to be our turn.
I mean, kids. They'll break your heart every time.
Dan Savage is editor of The Stranger, a Seattle newsweekly.
Having two daughters, I have thought through that scenario. I am not sure how I would have handled something like that.
She will of course be given a fawning interview on Queer Channel Radio (NPR).
I have three daughters. If faced with the situation, I would continue to love her, but anyone living under our roof is required to live a Christian life. Those who refuse to may live however they wish-- elsewhere. I imagine the same is true in the Keyes household, which is why they are no longer supporting her financially.
Crocodile tears from a so-called "gay parent." How disgusting. Maya should be ashamed of herself, but the savage creature who wrote this is obviously incapable of that emotion.
Let's just be clear here. Dan Savage is a gay activist. So make sure you read this article through that lens.
Oh, the horror, not paying for her education!
Keyes sticks with his principles and the author condemns him for it.
The whole gay marriage issue is a canard. If this "guy" wnats to be married to his "partner," they can have a ceremony; it just won't be recognised by the State. Property issues can be handles through wills and contracts. They do not have to have a state sanctioned marriage to acquire the benefits that straights enjoy in marriage. The issue revolves, really, around acceptance of deviant behaviour.
Unwittingly, they have admitted that H.I.V. is primarily traced to homosexual activity. If someone else had stated it they would have pounced and accused them of a hate crime for having the temerity to state so.
That might good advice to some, however, I would rather read it through my own lens. I usually get it right.
I am very sure that a large proportion of these so-called "gay" offspring are nothing of the sort.
These are otherwise innocents who have been proseletized, promoted, subverted and seduced by a relentless campaign of propaganda and pressure. I wonder if it is even a wise thing anymore to send a child to University.
These former places of refuge and learning are now swamps of leftist lies, perversion and hate.
We seem to be nearing the time that torches must be lit.
Figuratively, of course. I don't want to be seen as promoting violence. Especially aginst the slimeballs inhabiting our Universities. Like Ward Churchill, as he is of this same cloth.
Bravo I tend to agree with your comment. Hey, I suppose she could have hid her choice of companionship until she finished college. Seems she tried to take the high road with her family.
I do agree, a parent is a parent all of their life. As Christians we should love one another, we do not need to agree with one another but it may be a very lonely road for the Keyes family.
Not in their shoes but you get my drift.
Watch out, I posted a thread about this a several days ago and 800 replies later its still collecting posts.
I think I'll start passing on these articles.
Whenever I read any article from the NYTimes I pretty much assume the author is a gay activist.
Extremely classless on the part of the daughter, not only for the harm it does to her father, but also with respect to the TMI given to the rest of us.
Dan Savage is best known as the guy who posed as a Gary Bauer campaign volunteer for Salon.com. Upon discovering he had the flu, he went around the Bauer office "licking doorknobs" in hopes of infecting his hated enemy. He's a piece of work.
I've got news for you. Many of the most virulent anti-gay activists are themeselves gay, or worried that they might be. We're basically looking at a civil war.
Now, I don't know all the conversations and exchanges that have taken place obviously, but as an uninformed observer, I might treat education differently. I'd offer to pay full tuition and school costs to a good, conservative college.
Children when they become adults have the right to make their own decisions and to persue liberty and freedom as they see it, but I also have the freedom to put my money where my morals are.
What really pisses me off is that the media is so gleeful in reporting it in that smug "take that" sort of style they are so familiar with.
Media types like this love making stuff up.
From the Maya Keyes interview the other day on CNN:
BLITZER: So what then happened? Has there been a complete falling-out now between you and your father?Alan Keyes:
KEYES: No. I love my parents very much. And they love me. And they disagree with what I'm doing at the moment. And, as such, they can't support me in this activity, but they are still always going to love me. I know that.
"If my own daughter were a homosexual, or a lesbian, I would love my daughter, but I would tell my daughter that she was in sin," Keyes said in August.
The author of the NY Times article apparently believes that condemning a sin means hating the "sinner." Sad.
Also, the author's claim that Ms. Keyes' parents "kicked her out of the house" is contradicted by this:
The friend says Maya has not been kicked out of the family home, but she is no longer welcomed to stay at the downtown Chicago apartment that Keyes and members of his new political organization use.And then there are the reports that her parents stopped speaking to her. Untrue, according to this:
An aide to Alan Keyes tells CNN Maya worked for an Illinois political group run by Keyes and lived in a Chicago apartment paid for by that group. The aide says Maya and her father mutually agreed she should leave that group and therefore she's no longer eligible to live in the apartment. That was after Maya went to an anti-Bush protest during last month's inauguration.
TODD: A source close to the Keyes family says this whole situation has been devastating for everyone concerned, but the source says, through it all, Maya and her parents are still speaking -- Wolf.
Once again, in the rush to push its agenda, the media gets "a little carried away."
I couldn't agree more.
I know how I would react. I love my children. I would continue to love them, and I would give them all the support that I possibly could.
Having said that I would also like to express my admiration and sometimes affection for the lesbians I have known during my life.
Lesbians have worked on my cars, printed my catalogues, served me my drinks, shown me a selection of down vests and flannel plaid shirts and a myriad of other things. I have had extensive and sometimes intimate moments with lesbians. They have often times commented that had my gender been different, I would have made a fine lesbian. nFor this I can only smile.
Let me conclude by saying,
I like lesbians, they usually pay for their own drinks.
That's good to hear.
I like lesbians
Tells me a lot about your character.
Exactly! We are only hearing her side of events. For all we know, it could have gone something like this:
Alan Keyes: Fine you're gay & we still love you, But it is a personal family matter, lets keep it that way.
Maya Keyes: No. I'm queer i'm here, get used to it.
Alan Kenyes: Fine you're queer, but you no longer welcome here, get used to that!
I really feel for Mr. Keyes, here he is preaching about high moral values and his own daughter hits him below the belt with coming out as a deviant with a nasty lifestyle. I know he still loves his daughter but being a man of high character he can't possible condon this behavior. Why couldn't she just have kept her sexual preference to herself, who wants to know what she does behind closed doors anyway? I don't understand these sinners broadcasting their sins.
The author of the article, IIRC, is a gay activist. So, who is the virulent anti-gay activist?
The pleasure this clown gets from the heartbreak being endured by this or any other family raises bile in my throat.
And that's admirable, but sometimes, the result of "supporting" someone is to enable them to continue in their destructive or sinful behavior. It's not unlike the dilemma we face when we give money to a panhandler. It makes sense from a simple compassionate viewpoint until you realize that many of them just save it up until they can buy another bottle of hooch.
Changing to a heterosexual orientation is not an option for most homosexuals. My comment assumed that this applied to my child.
If the child (this is hypothetical because my children, thankfully, are heterosexual) considered himself/herself capable of reorientation, I would encourage it and do what I could to help, but I would not seek to impose it, because, in the case of a true homosexual, this is not possible, and the best one can do is to help such an unfortunate person to cope with life and its realities while giving the unconditional love and acceptance of a parent.
Orientation is one thing; behavior is another.
And I could be a grumpy wise cracker and return to comment to you, but I won't. May the Lord continue to bless you and yours.
And in those blessings I hope he allows your sense of humor to grow..:-).
OMG! THAT Dan Savage!! The doorknob LICKER....what a SICKO!! He's probably my neighbor!!
I have heard much speculation as to the nature of the relationship between Alan Keyes and his daughter. That speculation may or may not be correct. I think it is safe to say that whatever the nature may be, it did not affect his view of what public policy vis a vis homosexuality should be, particularly as it affects gay marriage.
Most all of Alan Keyes public pronouncements on this matter made reference to the traditions of Western civilization, history, philosophy, and constitutional law. He made perfectly coherent arguments as to why Gay marriage is a nonsensical and socially destructive hypothesis, and why it was important to stand up against a politically correct blitzkrieg to bully us into its acceptance.
In a surprisingly fair article on this issue in today's Tribune, Maya said that her father's private stance toward her homosexuality has been consistent with his public statements on the subject. I find this remarkable, and I contrast this position with those waffling remarks by Vice President Dick Cheney with regard to public policy and gay marriage. Let us not forget that Alan Keyes said during the campaign "if my own daughter were a homosexual or a lesbian, I would love my daughter, but I would tell my daughter that she was in sin." Alan Keyes is unwilling to compromise his personal integrity and public philosophy with what may be a private desire to propitiate those views to maintain the allegiance and love of his daughter. If that is so then this is one more indication as to why this man should be in public life and that he would be highly unlikely to betray the public trust for his personal gain. My personal estimation of Alan Keyes has GROWN and not diminished as a result of this.
Despite all this, Maya admits that she still loves her father. Probably because he is a loving father, who Maya herself undoubtedly understands has done his best to inculcate her with positive values. She, for reasons that may be genetic, environmental, based on rebellious autonomy, a flirtation with homosexual chic, or any combination thereof; has chosen her own path that is at odds with what Alan expects from an adult living in his household. I wish the best for them. I have met Maya. She is a charming and intelligent young woman.
I can definiteIy sympathize with a parent at odds with the flowering and evolvement of a child. I hope this family can find loving reconciliation without any compromise of personal integrity, for that has been a hallmark of Alan Keyes' personal life.
Where was the barf alert on this one???
And I could be a grumpy wise cracker and return to comment to you, but I won't. May the Lord continue to bless you and yours.
And that tells me a lot about the good side of your character.
Our church will be going through pastoral change in the coming months. Our church is a mainline church that has seen attendance dwindle over the past several years to about 50-60 dedicated and God loving people Sunday. They are also all senior citizens and the average age of the congregation is 70+. My wife and I are the young people and we are young 50ish.
My wife is on the pastor parish committee and they were discussing the upcoming retirement of the minister this morning and the process of replacement. The superintendent of the church was at the meeting this morning and said we likely would have a recent graduate of the theology school located nearby and may split his or her ministry between us and another church.
The theology school has VERY liberal leanings. I'm afraid that the new pastor will have the new age way of seeing a church.
My wife and I were discussing the new way of everyone is welcome as they are vs the reality of God's House has rules. My thought is Christ would have welcomed everyone, but would and did admonish those who joined him to sin no more. Too many churches, mainline especially but even evangelical, have forgotten the "sin no more" part of all are welcome.
My understanding from other threads is that Alan not only cut off housing and financial support but also familal support and contact. The financial and housing I can understand. She has made a choice to either live as a lesbain or if she is pre-destined to be a lesbian, made the choice to come forward with her sexuality. But to cut off contact and family support is a tad too far. Her only source of aid and comfort likely is the gay and lesbian community. That to me is throwing her to the wolves.
Like coming to church, Christ will take you as you are when you work hard to sin no more. I think Alan could learn that lesson.
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