Navy Signals for Help to Recruit Gay Sailors (Buggery's back, now for rum and the lash.)

The Times [UK] ^ | February 20, 2005 | Nicholas Hellen

[quidnunc]

The Royal Navy has turned to Stonewall, the gay lobby group, for advice on how to recruit and retain homosexual sailors.

Senior officers want to encourage more gay and lesbian sailors, estimated at 2,100, to “come out”, paving the way for the first openly gay admiral.

The partnership, to be announced tomorrow, will provide the template for a wider change in the culture of the armed forces. Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall, said: “We hope that the RAF and the army will be following shortly.”

Vice-Admiral Sir James Burnell-Nugent, Second Sea Lord, said he looked forward to working with Stonewall, whose founders include Sir Ian McKellen, the actor. The admiral said it would help a culture in which “all our people are valued for themselves and are thus able to give 100% to their job”.

In a symbolic move, the navy will place advertisements in the Pink Paper, the first time it has sought recruits through the gay press.

Commodore Paul Docherty, for the navy, said: “(The advertisements) will show those who are gay and are uncomfortable about the environment (here) that our position on diversity is not just empty talk.”

He added: “It is quite possible that we will have a gay admiral in the fullness of time. Anecdotally, we have had gay admirals in the past but they haven’t come out because it wasn’t allowed.”

Under the scheme, Stonewall will give practical advice on setting up a gay and lesbian network to provide support, social gatherings and help on coming out. It will advise on promoting role models, collect data on sexual orientation and help implement gay-friendly relocation allowances, travel benefits and bereavement leave.

-snip-

[R. Scott]

An attempt to cut down on shipboard pregnancy?

[Millicent_Hornswaggle]

Good grief, the British have lost their minds. My husband is a Marine and he says the British Royal Marines are some of the toughest individuals he has ever met. I'm sure these policies will go over real well with them. What a disgrace!

[deepFR]

thay thailor

[SpyGuy]

This is the result of the world succumbing to the mental disease called "Liberalism."

[Brian Mosely]

Chapter Two: 'I Am Nailed To The Hull'.

"It having been determined by my benefactor that a term of service at sea would make a man, I accordingly left Pinckley Hall in the company of Captain Ned, and put out from Bristol aboard his ship The Raging Queen.

Captain Ned, I learned from my shipmates, was a very manly, virile, manful person, and a firm believer in strict discipline, corporal punishment, and nude apartment wrestling. How truly strict he was, I learned on our first day out of port, when out First Mate called all hands on deck for an important annoucement."

[Disambiguator]

"...and when I say there isn't any cannibalism in the Navy, I mean there is a certain amount."

/Python

[investigateworld]

Say it isn't so!

[Clintonfatigued]

The British Navy's New Slogan: "Be all that you can be--on your knees in a toilet stall!"

Are they going to have recruiting for alcoholics and kleptomaniacs? Good grief, have they lost their minds?

[xcamel]

Redux of old glory.. Britania ruled the seas by Rum, Sodomy, and The Lash for 150 years

Look where they are now...

[Brian Mosely]

By the way, please note who is standing second from the left...

[MadIvan]

Note what the article says - it isn't exactly a comfortable atmosphere in the Royal Navy at the moment for gays to be out of the closet. I think this Admiral is off his rocker; I have sincere doubts that in spite of his efforts that even if more do come out of the closet, it will be any more comfortable.

To conclude, it's another social engineering attempt on a branch of the armed forces that obviously is resisting "change". It is very likely to fail - and homosexuals in the Navy would be well advised to remain closeted.

Regards, Ivan

[F16Fighter]

Vice-Admiral Sir James Burnell-Nugent, Second Sea Lord, said he looked forward to working with Stonewall[ the gay lobby group], whose founders include Sir Ian McKellen, the actor [in Lord Of The Rings].

(Spoken with lisp) "Hey Sai-lor -- come over and salute the Wiz."

[SandRat]

Gives a whole new meaning to referring to British Naval Officer as a Gay Blade.

[freebilly]

The Royal Navy has turned to Stonewall, the gay lobby group, for advice on how to recruit and retain homosexual sailors

Why do they need help? Buggery has been one of the quaint practices of Her Majesty's Royal Navy for 400 years....

[69ConvertibleFirebird]

A bunch of men standing around in tight white pants and they're having a hard time getting flamers? Hard to believe...

I'd think that and the flamer's fantasies of being one of The Village People would have them lining up to get in.

[Hudobna]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3948329.stm

The British Armed Forces has officially recognised its first registered Satanist, a newspaper reports. Naval technician Chris Cranmer, 24, has been allowed to register by the captain of HMS Cumberland, based at Devonport Naval Base in Plymouth. The move will mean that he will now be allowed to perform Satanic rituals on board the vessel.

Gays in Her Majesty's Royal Navy? It's hell!

[af_vet_1981]

Apparently fighting and winning wars are not of primary importance to the Royal Navy, at one time the premiere fighting force in the world.

how are the mighty fallen!

[69ConvertibleFirebird]

[Another Thought]

Good grief! The wheels are coming off.

[Hodar]

If you thought the Navy uniforms looked 'spiffy' now; just wait until the Navy get's the full 'make-over'. Battleship Grey will be out; replaced with Seafoam greens and lilac blues. One can only guess how the subs will be re-designed.

[MadIvan]

Apparently fighting and winning wars are not of primary importance to the Royal Navy, at one time the premiere fighting force in the world.

You remember way back in 1993 when Clinton tried his "gays in the military" wheeze? Same story. It's no more the end of the Royal Navy than Clinton was the end of the US Navy.

Regards, Ivan

[Ole Okie]

Dang! Where are Gilbert and Sullivan when you need them?

[Waco]

How do they spell sucksess?

[skepsel]

"The cabin boy, the cabin boy, the naughty little nipper, shoved broken glass ..." from the ballad of Barnacle Bill the sailor.
The rest would get me banned!

[ijcr]

It's 200 years since Lord Nelson's famous naval victory over the French and Spanish in the Battle of Trafalgar.

To start the anniversary celebrations, an actor dressed as Nelson posed for pictures on the River Thames at Greenwich.

But before he was allowed to board an RNLI Lifeboat, safety officials made him wear a lifejacket over his 19th century admiral's uniform.

This incident inspired some wag to pen the following.

How Nelson would have fared if he had been subject to modern health and safety regulations.

You are now on the deck of the recently renamed British Flagship,HMS Appeasement.

"Order the signal, Hardy." "Aye, aye sir."

"Hold on,Hardy, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer. What's the meaning of this?"

"Sorry sir?" "England expects every person to do his duty, regardless of race,gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.

"What gobbledegook is this?Hardy"

"Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors,lest it be considered racist."

"Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

"Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-free working environments."

"In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."

"The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It's part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."

"Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it. Full speed ahead."

"Sorry Sir,This is a no wake zone.I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

"Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest, please."

"That won't be possible, sir."

"What?"

"OSHA have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

"Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

"He's busy installing a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle Admiral."

"Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

"ADA sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."

"Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of those words. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

"Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

"Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

"A couple of problems there too, sir. OSHA won't let the crew up the rigging without helmets and sun lotion with a PF of at least 60. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the CDC commercials?"

"I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

"The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

"What? This is mutiny."

"It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of ACLU lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

"Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

"Actually, sir, we're not."

"We're not?"

"No,sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

"But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

"I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be suspended and subject to disciplinary action."

"You must consider every man an enemy who speaks ill of your King."

"Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules."

"Don't tell me - OSHA. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"

"As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu. And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

"What about sodomy?"

"I believe it's to be encouraged,sir."

"In that case - kiss me Hardy."

[sarah_f]

Tell me this is parody...please even if it isn't. I'm afraid to click on the link and see it's not.

Does EVERYTHING in this world have to be about fudegepacking???

[Mr Ramsbotham]

Whar's me cabin boy?

[Mr Ramsbotham]

Buggery has been one of the quaint practices of Her Majesty's Royal Navy for 400 years....

T.S. Eliot penned this little piece about 100 years ago:

As we were putting out to sea,
We spied a German warship,
The Captain paced the quarter-deck,
Parading, in his corset.
"What ho!" we cried, "we'll sink your ship!"
And so we up and sinked her,
But the cabin-boy was saved alive,
And buggered, in the sphincter.

[Chode]

Capt. Pissgums and his Perverted Pirates vs the Dykes!!!

Pathos on the high seas... below decks on his ship the Quivering Thigh.

[Quix]

If my poor memory about history is any clue, I think there was a Britis ship captain infamous/famous for insisting that all his shipmates double bunk--ordered it. I think he also had a barrel of lard set-up with various sized holes drilled at various heights.

Doesn't sound like they've learned a lot in the centuries since.

[Land_of_Lincoln_John]

One of the greatest albums ever released:

[Moose4]

And soon, we'll see the newest novel of the Royal Navy of the 21st Century, "Horatio Hornblower and Roger the Cabin Boy..."

}:-)4

[dr_who_2]

Oh ye who go about saying unto each: "Hello Sailor" Dost thou know the magnitude of thy sin before the gods? Surely thou shalt repent of thy cunning.

[freedumb2003]

Good times aboard The HMS Raging Queen

[Semper Paratus]

(Buggery's back, now for rum and the lash.)

When Churchill tried to reform the Royal Navy in WWI he was countered with: "But Sir think of the traditions"

Churchill's reply:

"The traditions of the Royal Navy are Rum, Sodomy and the Lash."

[Lancey Howard]

Senior officers want to encourage more gay and lesbian sailors, estimated at 2,100, to “come out”, paving the way for the first openly gay admiral..... The partnership, to be announced tomorrow, will provide the template for a wider change in the culture of the armed forces. Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall, said: “We hope that the RAF and the army will be following shortly.”

This is EXACTLY what the Clinton Administration wanted for our military all along.
First, feminization, then open homosexuals.

[laceybrookesdad]

The Royal Navy will have a totally different meaning to "Rear Admiral" !

[Loyalist]

Life imitates art; in this case, Cheech & Chong's "Buggery on the High Seas".

[TexanToTheCore]

"Dang! Where are Gilbert and Sullivan when you need them?"



Oh to see their take on this development.

The phrase "Polishing knobs in the Queen's Navy" just will never be the same.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Went there and was going to compliment them on their irony in this piece of satire. But it's a real article from the Sunday Times under their "Britain" section.

Reminds me of "Friggin In The Riggin" by the Sex Pistols, which would also get me banned if I posted it here.

Again I ask. How does one prove homosexuality? Is there a test? What happens if they want a gay Admiral so bad that a candidate fakes it and outs himself just to get it the promotion? Is there a test?

[Ole Okie]

LOL!

[Melas]

The Royal Marines have openly gay members. Britland is indeed different.

[Peelod]

from The Articles of War - 1749

"If any person in the fleet shall commit the unnatural and detestable sin of buggery and sodomy with man or beast, he shall be punished with death by the sentence of a court martial."

http://www.io.com/gibbonsb/articles.html

[sarah_f]

"Again I ask. How does one prove homosexuality? Is there a test? What happens if they want a gay Admiral so bad that a candidate fakes it and outs himself just to get it the promotion? Is there a test?"

I'm sure one has to "get acquainted" with the homos that would place one in the top homo spot - a hot tub party, sauna in the local gym or public toilet.

[Ciexyz]

Hmm, there seemed to be quite a bit of friendly camaraderie in A&E's Horatio Hornblower series. Long nights under the ocean's breezes, months at sea crammed elbow to elbow with manly men, very manly men....

[Cold Heat]

OMG!

?

[dfwgator]

Good times aboard The HMS Raging Queen

And they sail to such manly ports as San Francisco, Key West and Fire Island.

[sarah_f]

I just Googled "gay" and "public toilet" together...35,600 hits.

Charming.

[Cold Heat]

The phrase "Polishing knobs in the Queen's Navy" just will never be the same.

That's the one!

I was looking for a great laugh to end my day so I can hit the sack early and get some sleep. (wife snores like a 2cycle dirt bike)

You have made my day!:-))