Posted on 03/06/2005 10:04:40 AM PST by doug from upland
Danny is doing his Wednesday night show
Off into the sunset all the FReepers are watching him go
That partisan hack...he spent his years pushing his leftist views
It was quite amazing...people thought he was doing news
Danny, your Memogate scandal...is how you're finally nailed
You angered your execs...they suggested you bail
Dan, you are a phony...and so full of your baloney
Danny, wave goodbye...please say "courage," then cry-y-y-y-y
Danny still will not admit they were fake
Even though the whole world knows, he's stubborn and never will break
That partisan hack...he spent his years pushing his leftist views
It was quite amazing...people thought he was doing news
Danny, your Memogate scandal...is how you're finally nailed
You angered your execs...they suggested you bail
Dan, you are a phony...and so full of your baloney
Danny, wave goodbye...please say "courage," then cry-y-y-y-y
Castro has offered the evening news chair
We know that the commies will consider him balanced and fair
That partisan hack...he spent his years pushing his leftist views
It was quite amazing...people thought he was doing news
Would Laura Ingraham play this?
This is a good one, DFU. Thanks!
He won't be 'governed' by anyone anymore, so this will really free him up to continue his head hunting.
Rather thinks he's a "big news reporter" when in reality he's a big news distorter.
ROTFL! I sang it out loud!
Nice job!
One of my favorites is to the tune of SURREY WITH THE FRINGE ON TOP from Oklahoma. It has become OLDSMOBILE WITH THE BINGE DRINKER INSIDE.
Mary Jo, you're cute as a model
Will you pass one more Chivas bottle
You will see when I step on the throttle
It will be surreal
It is always an adventure in my hot Oldsmobile
I did too, and I can't sing a lick. My dogs don't like it when I try. It helps to turn up the MIDI file nice and loud.
On the evening of October 4th, 1986, Dan Rather was attacked by William Tager who, contrary to popular belief, had a very good reason for attacking Rather.
Bill Tager was born in the year 2265. Bill Tager is from the future. Bill Tager is not from our planet. Well, technically he is from earth but not from our earth.
Tager comes from an earth in a parallel universe and was sent here by the government of his planet. On Tagers earth, the entire planet is under the control of one government. Tagers world wide government has been experimenting with travel to other parallel universes (which involves a warp of the space/time continuum) for almost 150 years.
Bill Tager, a convicted felon on his planet, volunteered to be the first human test pilot on the condition that he be given a full pardon if he returned safely (hence "12 Monkeys" and our flimsy excuse to include this story on our website). On Tagers earth the Vice-President of the world is a man named Kenneth Burrows, who just happens to look exactly like Dan Rather. (I should explain here that most everyone on our earth has a double on all of the other earths in all of the parallel universes.)
Before Tager entered the travel chamber he was paid a visit by Vice-President Burrows and was told that he had a transmitter implanted in his brain and if he chose to remain in the section of time/space that he was being sent to and didn't return at the designated time, he would be barraged with messages to return until he came back and reported on his mission. Then, and only then, would the transmitter be removed and he be given his full pardon.
Tager's trip was successful and he landed in New York on September 1st, 1986. All was going as planned and Tager was preparing to return to his own time and world when he was mistakenly arrested for putting coins in expired parking meters. After spending 30 days in jail (and staying on our planet 14 days longer than he was supposed to) Tager started receiving extremely hostile messages from Vice-President Burrows telling him to return immediately.
His window of opportunity had past and he would have to wait another week to try to return but there was no possible way to let Burrows know this. The constant voices were driving him insane. He wasn't even able to sleep at night. If there was any way Tager could find out the precise frequency that was being broadcast to his brain he could possibly override the voices and be able to sleep at night until he was able to make his return trip.
As he walked the streets of New York late on the evening of October 4th, 1986, Tager saw a man who he thought was Vice-President Kenneth Burrows. He quickly came to his senses and knew that Burrows would never make the risky trip himself and figured it must be Burrows' double on our earth.
However, he thought, what were the chances that out of over 5 billion people on this planet, he would meet the twin of the man who had been sending hostile messages directly to his brain for over two weeks.
Tager called out to the man, "Kenneth! Kenneth Burrows!". To his surprise, the man, whom we know to be Dan Rather, turned to see who was yelling and was knocked to the ground. Tager repeatedly kicked Rather as he lay on the ground and yelled "What's the frequency Kenneth?" hoping to learn the frequency of the signal being broadcast to his brain and stop the voices. When Rather didn't respond, Tager realized he had made a terrible mistake and had indeed attacked Burrows' double on our planet. He fled the scene and later missed his second, and last, chance to return to his home planet.
Years later, in 1994, in an attempt to get in contact with someone who might be able to identify the frequency and put an end to the voices that had haunted him for so many years, Tager shot and killed an NBC technician outside the "Today Show" studios.
Today, William Tager sits in a prison in New York, the voices, now an automatic message that replays itself every 20 minutes, still play in his head.
Super!
You should record this!
LOL - That was quick! I'm glad I suggested it.
I didn't record this one -- I just wrote it today. The album was recorded about a month ago and should be release later this month.
Ping
Ping
*sigh* :)
Good cartoon.
Crank up the recorder and save it for posterity. I hope he either cries or Bill Tager breaks in and pummels him again.
I don't THINK so! I'm not going to ruin a perfectly good VCR on him!!!
Pfffffffffttttt!!!!!
Although, the crying thing......................
Love the cartoon. I just wrote another song talking about the frequency and will post this cartoon on that thread.
The Blather is not a guy who gets bogged down by
the truth...How bias is/was he? His obvious disdain
for the Bush family was so apparent and then he
defined Clinton on the O'Reilly factor ..with the
"I didn't think Clinton was a liar"....that alone tells
you all you want to know...unless you want to also
read Bernie Goldberg's book."Bias"... The guy is/was
a disaster his whole career.....Jake
27 Aug 1968 -- TV newsman Dan Rather gets beaten up in front of cameras on the floor of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. The reporter was trying to interview a delegate being dragged off the floor when the bruisers turn on him. "He lifted me right off the floor and put me away. I was down, the breath knocked out of me, as the whole group blew on by me... In the CBS control room, they had switched the camera onto me just as I was slugged."
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