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Song: Bird in a Barren Cage
self | March 6, 2005 | self

Posted on 03/06/2005 5:10:13 PM PST by supercat

VERSE 1:

Theresa Marie was a beautiful girl.
With a smile that could light up the room.
Her fate, alas, thanks to three evil men,
now seems to hold naught but doom.
Her husband, it seems, now wants her dead--
Wants to marry another wife.
Why can't he just see, Terri ought to be free.
She and he could get on with life.
CHORUS:
She's kept like a bird in a barren cage.
'Cos her husband keeps it bare.
No pictures, no music, no pets, no TV.
Her life is so lonely there.
But Terri is loved by her family
and by thousands from coast to coast.
Though_her life has been sold for corrupt men's gold
she refuses to give up the ghost.
VERSE 2:
The more one looks into this sad sad case,
the clearer the evil plot.
They're not trying to starve her because she's dying,
but rather because she's not.
Mike, Felos, and Greer are pushing this case
and fighting with all of their might
Not_because Terri won't speak up,
But rather because she might.
REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 3:

So what shall become of Michael's bird?
Will_he starve her as he intends?
Or will she be rescued by those far and wide,
who'd_be honored to be her friends?
The future right now, is hard to see.
Though_a showdown is coming nigh.
Will forces of life trump_the_old judge who says:
"The law of_the_case_is_that she must die"?
REPEAT CHORUS

Midi available here.

Lyrics copyright 2005 -- They may be freely distributed for the purpose of publicizing the Schiavo case, but recording rights are retained; free licenses will likely be granted for those supporting the Schindlers' case, but permission must be obtained first.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: schiavo; song; terri; terrischiavo
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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I would hope someone could record the song and/or sing it where it could get some attention. The lyrics don't quite fit the original "Bird in a gilded cage", but the supplied MIDI has been adapted for the text. I particularly like the chorus.

Admin moderator please note: I'm trying to follow the example of Doug from Upland who posts songs in News/Activism. The song is posted here with the intention that it be spread for the purpose of calling attention to Terri's cause.

1 posted on 03/06/2005 5:10:14 PM PST by supercat
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To: pc93; Ohioan from Florida; Kitty Mittens; doug from upland

Ping for the latest and greatest version of my song, with new MIDI. Please ping anyone else who hasn't been pinged yet who might be interested.


2 posted on 03/06/2005 5:12:48 PM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: supercat

It's AWESOME!!!!!

You have done a great job, my FReeper FRiend!

Pinging the whole ding-dong list for this! ;-)


3 posted on 03/06/2005 5:43:48 PM PST by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: supercat; floriduh voter; phenn; FreepinforTerri; kimmie7; Pegita; windchime; tutstar; ...

Terri ping! If anyone would like to be added to or removed from my Terri ping list, please let me know by FReepmail!


4 posted on 03/06/2005 5:47:31 PM PST by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: supercat
This is really good! Thanks for sharing it with us.
5 posted on 03/06/2005 5:53:24 PM PST by BykrBayb (5 minutes of prayer for Terri, every day at 11 am EDT, until she's safe. http://www.terrisfight.org)
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To: All

6 posted on 03/06/2005 5:53:58 PM PST by BykrBayb (5 minutes of prayer for Terri, every day at 11 am EDT, until she's safe. http://www.terrisfight.org)
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To: supercat
I just listened and mouthed your lyrics to the music...SUPERCAT....your words ring so true it hurts.

What a wonderful piece of work. It must be sent to Terri'sfight.org. And to Glen Beck and Michael Savage, for sure!

I wonder if anyone here has a good singing voice and would work with SUPERCAT to get the WONDERFUL, STRAIGHT SHOOTING WORDS attached to the music?

This is impressive and heartfelt and extremely encompassing.

Good, good work, Supercat. The best. Just WOW!

7 posted on 03/06/2005 6:00:25 PM PST by Republic (Will michael shiavo and his concubine and children now preside over the murder of Terri?)
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To: Ohioan from Florida

Thanks for this ping!


8 posted on 03/06/2005 6:02:42 PM PST by Republic (Will michael shiavo and his concubine and children now preside over the murder of Terri?)
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To: Republic

From what I hear, Hall has a good voice.


9 posted on 03/06/2005 6:04:58 PM PST by Freepertwo
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To: supercat

selfbump


10 posted on 03/06/2005 6:09:33 PM PST by steveo (Member: Fathers Against Rude Television)
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To: Freepertwo

Is this true? :^) Could not find a FReeper named Hall. Bummer.


11 posted on 03/06/2005 6:10:03 PM PST by Republic (Will michael shiavo and his concubine and children now preside over the murder of Terri?)
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To: GloriaJane

Ping to a Terri song. You've got a good voice--any interest in recording it?


12 posted on 03/06/2005 6:11:06 PM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: supercat

If George W. "Haman" Greer could see your lyrics, he would probably quote the late Queen Victoria, who said, "WE are not amused!"


13 posted on 03/06/2005 6:15:08 PM PST by Theodore R. (Terri has already outlived Eleanor Centzone.)
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To: Freepertwo; Republic; Halls

It's Halls. She/he has been pinged already.


14 posted on 03/06/2005 6:16:47 PM PST by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: supercat

Prayers offered up for Terri's safety, health and comfort.


15 posted on 03/06/2005 6:17:15 PM PST by Ciexyz (Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
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To: Theodore R.
If George W. "Haman" Greer could see your lyrics, he would probably quote the late Queen Victoria, who said, "WE are not amused!"

I thought that was Elizabeth (I). Or maybe they both said it. Or maybe I'm wrong.

But in the case of Judge Greer, I think I'm quoting him accurately. Or did he use a different verb?

16 posted on 03/06/2005 6:18:00 PM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: Theodore R.

That's a pretty big IF. Maybe if we had it done in extremely large print?


17 posted on 03/06/2005 6:18:02 PM PST by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: Ohioan from Florida
OUCH!

hehe


18 posted on 03/06/2005 6:23:54 PM PST by Republic (Will michael shiavo and his concubine and children now preside over the murder of Terri?)
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To: supercat

I can sing, and pretty darn good if you need a voice!


19 posted on 03/06/2005 6:38:44 PM PST by Halls
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To: supercat
For those who don't know the original . . . another girl who married unhappily . . .

THE BIRD IN A GILDED CAGE

The ballroom was filled with fashion's throng,
It shone with a thousand lights;
And there was a woman who passed along,
The fairest of all the sights.
A girl to her lover then softly sighed,
"There's riches at her command."
"But she married for wealth, not for love," he cried,
"Though she lives in a mansion grand."

Chorus: "She's only a bird in a gilded cage,
A beautiful sight to see.
You may think she's happy and free from care,
She's not, though she seems to be.
'Tis sad when you think of her wasted life
For youth cannot mate with age;
And her beauty was sold for an old man's gold,
She's a bird in a gilded cage."

I stood in a churchyard just at eve,
When sunset adorned the west;
And looked at the people who'd come to grieve
For loved ones now laid at rest.
A tall marble monument marked the grave
Of one who'd been fashion's queen;
And I thought, "She is happier here at rest,
Than to have people say when seen:

(Chorus)

- by Arthur Lamb, music by Harry von Tilzer, a famous music hall composer. It was written around the turn of the last century. After von Tilzer wrote the music, he dropped by a house of ill repute to try it out on the "professor's" piano. The girls listened, and began to cry. He said, "If these ladies weep real tears over my song, I believe I have composed a hit."

Speaking purely from a technical performance standpoint, you need to work with this to get it back to the original waltz-time meter. It can be done (e.g. "lovely" for "beautiful" in the first line). The emphasis of the words also needs to be on the first beat of each measure so that the words fall correctly with the meter. (e.g. "The BALLroom was FILLED with FA-shion's THRONG"). It's the waltz time that gives the tune much of the poignancy (and the singer the ability to pause for effect on words like "gold" in the chorus). Also, short phrases offset in commas ("it seems") don't sing well and are not understandable when sung. "Now it seems that her husband wants her dead" would fit the meter and get rid of the offset phrase.

This will take some trouble but I believe it is worth it, because you have made a very, very good start here. The more "singable" it is, the more people will sing it, and the more it will get around.

Find a good low mezzo or contralto to record this one. It goes down to A below the treble staff (in G major, I believe that's the original key though I've seen it pitched higher), and it's essentially a woman's song.

20 posted on 03/06/2005 6:39:38 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: Republic

Halls, LOL! that is me!


21 posted on 03/06/2005 6:39:43 PM PST by Halls
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To: Halls

Good for another bump.


22 posted on 03/06/2005 6:40:04 PM PST by Ciexyz (Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
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To: Halls; supercat; BykrBayb; doug from upland; FL_engineer; Ohioan from Florida
Use your excellent lyrics, make a demo, get it to Sean Hannity via his heartthrob "Independence Day" singer.

Surely there is way to get on the air with it this week.

terrisfight.org

23 posted on 03/06/2005 6:44:04 PM PST by PhilDragoo (Hitlery: das Butch von Buchenvald)
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To: AnAmericanMother
Speaking purely from a technical performance standpoint, you need to work with this to get it back to the original waltz-time meter.

The song cannot be song syllable-by-syllable with the original tune. Attempting to do so will put all the word stresses in the wrong places. If you listen to it with the supplied MIDI, I think the stresses come out pretty well.

theREsa maRIE was a BEAUtiful GIRL
with a SMILE that could LIGHT up the ROOM.
her FATE aLAS thanks to THREE evil men
now SEEMS to hold NAUGHT but DOOM.
Her HUSband, it SEEMS, now WANTS her DEAD--
Wants to MARry aNOther WIFE.
Why CAN'T he just SEE, Terri OUGHT to be FREE.
She and HE could get ON with LIFE.

she's KEPT like a BIRD in a BARren CAGE.
'cos HER husband KEEPS it BARE.
no PICTures, no MUsic, no PETS, no teeVEE.
her LIFE is so LONEly THERE.
but TERri is LOVED by her FAMilYy
and by THOUsands from COAST to COAST.
Though_her LIFE has been SOLD for corrUPT men's GOLD
she reFUSes to GIVE up the GHOST.

the MORE one looks INto this SAD sad CASE,
the CLEARer the Evil PLOT.
they're NOT trying to STARVE her beCAUSE she's dyING,
but RAther beCAUSE she's NOT.
mike, FELos, and GREER are PUSHing this CASE
and FIGHTing with ALL of their MIGHT
NOT because TERri WON'T speak UP,
but RATHer beCAUSE she MIGHT.

so WHAT shall beCOME of MICHael's BIRD?
will he STARVE her as HE inTENDS?
or WILL she be REScued by THOSE far and WIDE,
who'd be HONored to BE her FRIENDS?
The FUture right NOW, is HARD to SEE.
though_a SHOWdown is COMing NIGH.
will FORCes of LIFE trump the OLD judge who SAYS:
"The LAW of_the_case_is_THAT she must DIE"?
Pretty good word-stress arrangements, generally. I'll admit there are a few lines I'm not happy with. Most notably:
her FATE aLAS thanks to THREE evil men
the MORE one looks INto this SAD sad CASE,
mike, FELos, and GREER are PUSHing this CASE
NOT because TERri WON'T speak UP,
who'd be HONored to BE her FRIENDS?
will FORCes of LIFE trump the OLD judge who SAYS:
The first of those should have a stress on EVil; the second is awkward. The third sorts squeezes Michael in there a bit too abruptly. The fourth is awkward without a pickup, but I can't think of a good one-syllable conjunction to put there. In the fifth I don't like "BE" as a verb; an earlier revision had "Who'd be HONored to_be CALLED her FRIENDS" but that seemed awkward too (maybe better than what I've got, though). On line six I don't really like "OLD" as an adjective, but "BLIND" might come across as too pejorative.

Have you done a readthrough with the MIDI?

24 posted on 03/06/2005 6:59:04 PM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: AnAmericanMother

What would you think of adjusting lines 5: "her aDULterous HUSband now WANTS her DEAD"?


25 posted on 03/06/2005 7:07:38 PM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: supercat
I read it through - I wound up putting the stresses in different places to make it fit. The double beats still sound awkward to me - the original is sung very lyrically and smoothly, the MIDI is too bouncy and Tin-Pan-Alley sounding (I know, MIDI has certain limitations), especially with the double beats.

There's always a work-around to get back to the primary beat - e.g. "But NOW the PLANS of three EVil MEN/Are RUSHing her TOWards her DOOM"? "No pictures, no music, no pets, no love" "She will not give up the ghost"

"They're not trying to starve her because she's dying" HAS to be reworked - it's the buildup to the climax of the verse, and it has a whole extra foot in it, plus an inadvertent internal rhyme.

I'm being very, very picky and technical here, I know -- but if this weren't a good song with the potential of being a GREAT song, it wouldn't be worth picking over. (I wouldn't use blind here either, even though Arlo Guthrie did . . . "it was a typical case of American Blind Justice" . . . he was trying to be funny.)

26 posted on 03/06/2005 7:14:29 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: supercat
Substitute UNfaithful for adulterous. That won't sing - "unfaithful" will (gets rid of the extra beat too).

We're actually trying to work a couple of different aspects here - singability and comprehension. Can't always get both, but I think this will go if you work it over thoroughly, then put it away for a little rest, then have another shot at it. You can't revise every detail at once. Sleep on it, it will come right.

27 posted on 03/06/2005 7:17:08 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: supercat
Your Song is Perfect to me, Supercat! Please Ping me when someone Records it! Our Lord Bless your Work Mightily!
28 posted on 03/06/2005 7:20:57 PM PST by Kitty Mittens
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To: AnAmericanMother; supercat; Halls
Just wanted to publically state that I think you are TERRIFIC, An American Mother. Just fantastic.

SC-Let's get this rolling.

Halls---Why not freepmail supercat and get a sound to him of your fantastic voice....send this off complete next week.....and let Glen Beck FLY WITH IT!

29 posted on 03/06/2005 7:36:16 PM PST by Republic (Will michael shiavo and his concubine and children now preside over the murder of Terri?)
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To: Republic

I have freepmailed supercat and we'll see what happens!


30 posted on 03/06/2005 7:39:00 PM PST by Halls
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To: AnAmericanMother
I read it through - I wound up putting the stresses in different places to make it fit. The double beats still sound awkward to me - the original is sung very lyrically and smoothly, the MIDI is too bouncy and Tin-Pan-Alley sounding (I know, MIDI has certain limitations), especially with the double beats.

Well, the MIDI was a pretty quick effort to try to whip up something from scratch that would sound decent. It sounds a lot better than last night's MIDI except I need to do something about ths second line of each verse and the chorus.

BTW, I wrote the lyrics originally based on a slightly-faulty memory of the song, and derived the music from that. There are melodic differences among the verses. Some I may change, some I'll leave as is. Original is public domain, so I claim artistic license.

There's always a work-around to get back to the primary beat - e.g. "But NOW the PLANS of three EVil MEN/Are RUSHing her TOWards her DOOM"? "No pictures, no music, no pets, no love" "She will not give up the ghost"

I like your first line. Mind if I use it?

The "No pictures" line is a spot where I misremembered how the original went, but I like the way my melody fits the words there. Your suggested line doesn't fit the original tune unless you shift a syllable somewhere; it comes out "no picTURES, no MUsic, no PETS, no LOVE". But I really like my line there.

Although "She will not give up the ghost" certainly works lyrically, I think the point of "she reFUSes" is critical to the meaning of the text.

"They're not trying to starve her because she's dying" HAS to be reworked - it's the buildup to the climax of the verse, and it has a whole extra foot in it, plus an inadvertent internal rhyme.

It works with the "No pictures" music I mis-transcribed/created. No extra feet ("trying" is one syllable). Although the word stress on "dyING" is not standard pronunciation for the word, I think it's reasonably effective there because it emphasises that she's not "in the process" of dying.

I'm being very, very picky and technical here, I know -- but if this weren't a good song with the potential of being a GREAT song, it wouldn't be worth picking over. (I wouldn't use blind here either, even though Arlo Guthrie did . . . "it was a typical case of American Blind Justice" . . . he was trying to be funny.)

Any ideas for a good adjective for Judge Greer? Blind really is the OBVIOUS one, but there's gotta be something else that would work too.

BTW, I'll be trying to generate some BMPs of sheet music (sorry I can't do PDF) soon; that may make it easier to judge how stuff fits musically.

31 posted on 03/06/2005 7:40:30 PM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: All
The TERRI SCHINDLER SCHIAVO Foundation
= Terri's Fight = www.terrisfight.org = [Schiavo = (SHY'-voh)]
http://www.terrisfight.org   =   Terri's  Fight  .  org

32 posted on 03/06/2005 9:24:38 PM PST by Golden Gate
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To: All
Citizens in the City of Clearwater, Florida / Pinellas County

Demand a Grand Jury for Terri!           - and   . . .

33 posted on 03/06/2005 9:59:08 PM PST by Golden Gate
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To: All
Connect the Dots . . . for Terri   (by FL_engineer)
34 posted on 03/06/2005 10:04:26 PM PST by Golden Gate
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To: All

and now, `back to the music' bump!


35 posted on 03/06/2005 10:08:07 PM PST by Golden Gate
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To: supercat
Please spread this.

Updated Action / Contact list re: averting a March 18, 2005 1PM Death Sentence for Theresa Maria Schiavo, getting her out of the hands of those trying to murder her, getting her back on the road to her recovery through rehabilitation and therapy and most importantly under the guardianship and care of those who truly love her

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1357549/posts?page=4#4

36 posted on 03/07/2005 3:29:29 AM PST by pc93 (http://www.blogsforterri.com)
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To: supercat

Good job, supercat!


37 posted on 03/07/2005 7:29:10 AM PST by windchime (Hillary: "I've always been a preying person")
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To: supercat

bttt


38 posted on 03/07/2005 8:44:46 AM PST by Dante3
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To: Republic

My mistake...her name is Halls!


39 posted on 03/07/2005 11:47:20 AM PST by freepertoo
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To: AnAmericanMother
Have you had a chance to look at the sheet music yet (link given in FReepmail)? The latest lyrics are kept on my blog here and the MIDI file and sheet music are current with those.

The velocity-127 piano for the vocal lead is not a bit "bouncy" for instrumentation I will certainly agree, but I wanted something that would allow someone reading the text to tell precisely where the double-notes were; when I tried wind instruments on the lead, it came out mushy and indistinct.

BTW, wasn't "Bird in a Gilded Cage" a product of Tin Pan Alley?

40 posted on 03/07/2005 3:24:47 PM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: AnAmericanMother
Substitute UNfaithful for adulterous. That won't sing - "unfaithful" will (gets rid of the extra beat too).

Perhaps, though the word is usually "unFAITHful". On the other hand, if I strike the "alas" from line 3 I could use "alas" in place of "it seems". Or perhaps "her CRUEL, faithless HUSband" could work.

Otherwise, do you have any recommendations for my other 'problem' lines:

the MORE one looks INto this SAD sad CASE,
mike, FELos, and GREER are PUSHing this CASE
NOT because TERri WON'T speak UP,
who'd be HONored to BE her FRIENDS
  [or who'd be HONored to be CALLED her FRIENDS]
will FORCes of LIFE trump the OLD judge who SAYS:

41 posted on 03/07/2005 3:55:03 PM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: supercat
Actually, von Tilzer's publishing office was the place where the term "Tin Pan Alley" originated (the original Alley was West 28th St. in NYC.) A writer for the old New York Herald coined the term in a news article around the turn of the century after he visited the office run by von Tilzer and his brother.

What I meant was the stereotypical "Tin Pan Alley" sound - a bad, tinny, very percussive piano. The typical songs associated with that era (which lasted well on into the 20th c., arguably to WWII) are bouncy - even von Tilzer's ("Wait til the Sun Shines, Nellie", "I Want a Girl Just Like the Girl Who Married Dear Old Dad," "I Love My Wife, But Oh You Kid.") "The Bird" is an exception - more of a legato, ballad style.

I'll get back to you after I ruminate on those lines for awhile -- I have a deadline at work this week and a dog to prepare for an agility trial . . . what I really need is about 48 hours per day and maybe I can get everything done . . .

42 posted on 03/07/2005 6:30:28 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: AnAmericanMother; Ohioan from Florida; GloriaJane; Halls
Latest revision: ping as needed.
VERSE 1:
Theresa Marie was a beautiful girl.
with a smile that could light up the room.
But now the plans of three evil men
are rushing her towards her doom.
Her cruel faithless husband now wants her dead--
Wants to marry another wife.
Why can't he just see, Terri ought to be free.
She and he could get on with life.

CHORUS:
She's kept like a bird in a barren cage.
'Cos her husband keeps it bare.
No pictures, no music, no pets, no TV.
Her life is so lonely there.
But Terri is loved by her family
and by thousands from coast to coast.
Though her life has been sold for corrupt men's gold
she refuses to give up the ghost.

VERSE 2:
The more one looks into this sordid case,
The clearer the evil plot.
They're not trying to starve her because she's dying,
but rather because she's not.
In this quest Michael Schiavo, George Felos, and Judge Greer
Are fighting with all their might
Not because Terri won't speak up,
But rather because she might.

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 3:
So what shall become of Michael's bird?
Will he starve her as he intends?
Or will she be rescued by those far and wide,
who'd be honored to be called her friends?
The future right now, is hard to see.
Though a showdown is coming nigh.
Will the forces of life trump the judge who says:
"The law of the case is that she must die"?

REPEAT CHORUS
The MIDI file has been updated as well, including an 8-bar intro.
43 posted on 03/08/2005 6:45:42 AM PST by supercat (For Florida officials to be free of the Albatross, they should let it fly away.)
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To: supercat; 4Godsoloved..Hegave; 8mmMauser; a5478; Annie03; atruelady; Brad's Gramma; Cayenne; ...

Excellent teamwork!

Terri ping to 43! If anyone would like to be added to or removed from my Terri ping list, please let me know by FReepmail!


44 posted on 03/08/2005 9:36:58 PM PST by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: supercat

This is wonderful!


45 posted on 03/08/2005 9:39:26 PM PST by BykrBayb (5 minutes of prayer for Terri, every day at 11 am EDT, until she's safe. http://www.terrisfight.org)
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To: supercat

I really like it! Would you mind if I put it in an e-mail to my family? How would I credit you? Please FM with an answer, if you cannot post it publicly.


46 posted on 03/08/2005 9:40:34 PM PST by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: supercat; AnAmericanMother
Just FANTASTIC! Hurry! HURRY! HURRY!!!

This needs mass exposure!

47 posted on 03/08/2005 9:41:38 PM PST by Republic (Will michael shiavo and his concubine and children now preside over the murder of Terri?)
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To: supercat

[with a lump in my throat & tears down my cheeks]...Bless you supercat


48 posted on 03/08/2005 9:58:54 PM PST by Chocolate Rose (FOR HONEST NEWS REPORTING GET THE SCOOP HERE : www.theEmpireJournal.com/)
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Post #43 bump!


49 posted on 03/08/2005 11:34:07 PM PST by windchime (Hillary: "I've always been a preying person")
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To: supercat
It's looking good!

more comments:

"Her cruel faithless husband now wants her dead,
To MARry anOTHer WIFE."

- short line, emphasis, very similar to "the fairest of all the sights" in the original.

"And they could get on with life."

"Sordid" is good. 'cause that's what it is.

I'd leave out "in this quest" - just name the names:
"Michael Schiavo, George Felos, and Judge Greer
Are fighting with all their might."

"They don't want to starve her because she's dying."

"NOT because TERri WON'T speak UP," This one is o.k. It works & it makes a good point.

Everything else looks fine to me.

Go for it!

50 posted on 03/09/2005 6:06:52 AM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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