Posted on 03/09/2005 9:47:25 AM PST by qam1
NEW YORK – They've been part of the American "uniform" for years, worn to casual restaurants, house parties, and some workplaces.
But as jeans become more expensive, they are also becoming more ubiquitous, showing up everywhere from Midwestern churches to Broadway shows. Nothing is off limits, it seems. Or is it? Among those who buy high-priced, designer denim or who simply don jeans frequently - there's debate about where it's appropriate to wear them.
The tug of war over jeans etiquette is particularly prevalent in New York City. Here, people tend to be more creative about their appearance, and are often more demanding about how fashion-conscious people should look, says Dannielle Romano, editor at large for DailyCandy.com, a fashion and trends website.
Many 20- and 30-somethings here have theater backgrounds, for example, and often say it's inappropriate to wear jeans to theater and other cultural performances out of respect for the performers and the surroundings (even though the venues themselves have no official dress codes).
"I am all in favor of the current denim revolution that we are having, but I do feel that there are times when jeans should be left at home," says Lisa Kerson, a jewelry designer in her early 30s, whose parents insisted that she look nice when going to a play or traveling on a plane. "I still get bothered when I see people wearing jeans to the theater, ballet, opera, etc.," she says in an e-mail.
Melissa Popiel also prefers not to see denim at the theater, or at an engagement party. To her, jeans are OK for a house party or a casual dinner, but not for traditionally dressy places. "I don't like going to cocktail parties and seeing people in jeans," says the advertising executive, who's in her late 20s.
Ms. Popiel estimates she owns about 15 to 20 pairs, including premium brands, and has paid as much as $200 for a pair.
Many others are also paying big bucks for their jeans - from $150 to $1,000 or more per pair. Celebrities, in particular, are making jeans their garb of choice for appearances on talk shows and at some red-carpet events.
That, say fashion experts, sets the tone for the masses, who are encouraged by features like one in the Jan. 24 edition of Us magazine, "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Jeans," complete with suggestions for buying "premium" denim ($140 or more).
The concept of designer jeans is not new, however. They were also hot in the 1970s and 80s.
Are these jeans made for parties?
Etiquette experts offer few hard and fast rules about jeans, but among them are the obvious: Leave them in the closet when you're attending a wedding, or if your workplace bans them.
"A lot of it has to do with the appropriateness of the kind of jean you're wearing," says Peter Post, grandson of manners maven Emily Post and author of the book "Essential Manners for Men."
It comes down to determining if the jeans are for fashion or work. A pair that you do yard work in, for example, are "probably not appropriate to be wearing to a restaurant that night," he explains.
Mr. Post has seen men show up in quality restaurants wearing denim, which doesn't bother him as much as how sloppy their appearance sometimes is.He recalls seeing a man dressed in a T-shirt and old rumpled jeans. "He hadn't taken any care to step it up just a notch, to say to the woman he was with, 'You know, you're really important to me. I want to look good. I want you to look at me and be proud of me,' " he says.
Dark denim is making it easier for men to comfortably wear jeans in the evenings, especially since black jeans are no longer "in." But no matter how hip a certain style may be, some places are still off-limits.
"I probably won't wear them to a funeral," says Robert Smith, a 30- something businessman in Rockton, Ill. But in the past few years he's started wearing them everywhere else - to church and to most work-related functions.
Not the fabric but how it's used
The good news for jeans devotees is that standards for judging people on their appearance are loosening a bit - at least among women under 40. A recent study by Cotton Incorporated indicates that Generation X-age women (26 to 39) are less concerned about first impressions when it comes to dressing than they were 10 years ago, and more often are taking the approach that "you can't judge a book by its cover." The reverse was true for women boomer-age and older.
Alice Harris, author of the book "The Blue Jean," attributes the rise of jeans to casual Fridays in workplaces, which shifted the way people viewed dressing.
"We've actually gone back to a much simpler way of looking at it," suggests Post of the changing attitudes. It's not that certain materials, like denim, are bad. "It's what you've done with that material."
Luckily, I'm an American, and have shed the shackles of classism. I don't really give a damn what "class" I'm supposed to belong to, nor what anyone seeing me thinks about my attire. If I should choose to attend an opera, it would be to listen to the music, not to cater to your arbitrary whims of what is appropriate attire, or your desire to be surrounded by members of your perceived "class".
On the other hand, when you see me there, by all means sneer at my clothing. That will certainly reveal who has "class".
Simply saying that you have to dress up to go to the opera is hogwash. I paid for the ticket, they are performing to please me, I will be comfortable. I would no more dress to buy entertainment than I would to buy laundry detergent at Wal-mart. (And when it comes to opera the odds are great that I'd get more enjoyment out of the laundry detergent anyway)
When attending a wedding, funeral or other social function dress as the bride/family/hostess would have you dress. You are at their function and you are not a customer
When traveling, unless you will not have time to change before a meeting/function that demands business/formal dress, wear comfortable clothes. Again you are the customer, you are paying them to transport you from place a to place b.
When attending church, dress your heart in repentance, faith and expectation of being in God's presence. As long as your dress doesn't overly distract others (that is, dress modestly) God doesn't care what you wear. He looks on the heart of man, not the flesh
"Not only do all the parishners at my church wear jeans, but the pastoral staff as well, even at the pulpit. Our church intentionally made the decision to make church NOT about dressing up. Anyone can walk off the street and feel at home in our church."
I like that! Maybe if everyone quit spending so much time critiquing what others are wearing, or how expensive Susie's dress is compared to Sharon's, or who "wore jeans...ohmy!"...they just might get off their high-horse long enough to concentrate on worshiping the Lord. And then they might even learn something. Amen! Let's pray...... :)
They do. They also teach civics. In this country she is the same as I. Actually she's not, she's just a foreigner while I am a citizen. If I were in England I'd dress more formally cause I'd be on her turf.
But then I rarely go out of the US beacuse I hate dealing with foreigners so its a moot point
"Class," as we're discussing it here, has nothing to do with one's social standing. We're talking about elegance of style, taste, and manner. A rich person can be a classless slob just as easily as a poor person.
If I should choose to attend an opera, it would be to listen to the music, not to cater to your arbitrary whims of what is appropriate attire
Rules as to proper attire are in no way arbitrary. They are quite well known and established.
I agree. I'd reserve the right to wear jeans for the POTUS since he's a foreigner, though I wouldn't make a point of it.
Same for the Queen. Even though she's technically my head of state, she's a foreigner and hasn't done anything to command my loyalty.
The key is that I wouldn't go out of my way to dress down for either to be disrespectful UNLESS pressure was applied to me to make me dress to a certain standard. I can be a contrary cuss sometimes!
"Sometimes, it is neither "nice" nor "right" to refrain from offering criticism. For instance, I would be negligent as a parent not to criticize my child's choice of clothing if it were inappropriate for the occasion. (Of course, it would be wrong to criticize him in a way that would cause him embarrassment.) "
Of course, as a parent it is important to guide your child in any situation you feel is necessary. Just as I'm sure you would guide your child about the importance of not judging others. If your child were to see someone in church who wasn't dressed up as nicely as he was, and he mentioned that fact to you, what would your response be?
There are well-established rules of decorum when meeting a member of royalty, a President etc. Some of these rules go back centuries. They add a certain level of civility to what seems to be becoming an ever-coarsening world.
There are certain standards that civilized people follow. It's sad to see so many conservatives rejecting those standards. Such rejection for rejection's sake is more akin to the values of the French Revolution.
Two words: Lady Smith
Actually the mention of funeral homes raises a curious...but oddly disturbing point.
What happens at nudist funerals? Is the corpse naked? The preacher/undertakers, etc? The pallbearers?
Apologies if this seems odd, but it's one of those weird things I can't get out of my head now!
With those pimpy pearlite grips. A fondue gun is more like it.
It's OK. I cover up when I'm not among friends. My tattoos are for me, not for "show and tell".
I've gotten sneered at before for going to the store in short sleeves and that is why I cover up when I don't want to deal with it.
I very much knew what I was getting into when I got tattooed in places that couldn't be covered up by a t-shirt, which is why I don't bitch or wonder what is wrong with others when I am sneered at.
I wear a black skull t-shirt to rock concerts. But when I take my girlfriend to the philharmonic (because even tattooed punks have some culture, too!) I dress to the 9's in a nice suit and her in a nice dress.
I mean seriously... what is wrong with people that we even have to discuss this? I am not rich, I am in fact a working class person. But my family always tought me to show some respect for myself and not act like an idiot. And I'm an obvious "nonconformist", being tattooed, a 25 year old libertarian, etc!
If it's not black, I'm not wearing it. I wouldn't wear "cream white" to Liberace's funeral.
Though you may be an American, you might be an uneducated one, for to "have class" does not mean "to belong to one." In America---egalitarian nation, under God---one can find purportedly upper class individuals with no class at all (e.g., Ted "Kid Chappaquiddick" Kennedy), and individuals of purportedly a lower social class (e.g. a blue collar sergeant) with more class than former Commanders-In-Chief. Other examples abound.
On the other hand, when you see me there, by all means sneer at my clothing. That will certainly reveal who has "class".
Yes: you, if you show up to an opera wearing jeans. By all means, dress like an uncivilized slob if that's your bag. Wear a neon-green EPCOT Center sweatshirt to a 4-star restaurant for all I care---I've seen it all. But don't pretend that others should consider you anything but an uncivilized slob if you dress in that way, or present yourself in that way.
I'll tell you what though. Not matter what anyone says, we get people into our church who you wouldn't normally get into a church. Hell, they got me in.....
"Wearing dungarees to formal events is just another expression of unisize, ahistorical, narcissistic, lazy, slob culture and should be mocked whenever possible."
Bravo!!
What is it about Europe that makes Americans dress like boobs? Walking shorts, sneakers, lame t-shirts and fannie packs. Who in their right mind would pick an outfit like that?
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