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Louisiana Dog For Sale
email | Unknown

Posted on 03/24/2005 4:01:17 AM PST by tx_eggman

A guy is driving around in Cameron Parish, and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner, Thibodeaux, tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks Thibodeaux what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars." Thib says. "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He didn't do none of dat crap."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: jokes; workingdogs
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1 posted on 03/24/2005 4:01:17 AM PST by tx_eggman
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To: tx_eggman

I liked that joke the first time I heard it and I still laugh at it. Thanks!


2 posted on 03/24/2005 4:03:44 AM PST by Captain Rhino ("If you will just abandon logic, these things will make a lot more sense to you!")
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To: tx_eggman

Perhaps the dog should consider running for political office :-)


3 posted on 03/24/2005 4:03:51 AM PST by infocats
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Comment #4 Removed by Moderator

To: GABaptist; tx_eggman
I liked it, and I'm glad the eggman posted it.

All Schiavo all the time is wearing me out.

5 posted on 03/24/2005 4:07:08 AM PST by sinkspur ("Preach the gospel. If necessary, use words.")
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To: GABaptist

It irritated you, that is reason enough for me.

Anyone have any more?


6 posted on 03/24/2005 4:08:15 AM PST by TexasTransplant (NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSET)
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To: tx_eggman

Dog, what is that on the top of the house?
Ruf! Ruf! Ruf!
What's that on that tree!
Bark! Bark! Bark!

See, I told you that dog could talk before I sold him to you!


7 posted on 03/24/2005 4:09:28 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar
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To: GABaptist
This is so old. And even if it was fresh, why would you post this?

Damn, I must be totally out of the loop.

My wife of 26 years is cajun and her dad, who didn't speak english until he was 9 years old sent it to me ... I'd never heard it before.

Sorry to have wasted your time.

8 posted on 03/24/2005 4:09:43 AM PST by tx_eggman (Liberalism is only possible in that moment when a man chooses Barabas over Christ.)
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To: GABaptist

Well newbie, vets of FR have a few privelages, now, if you had posted it, you might be suspect.


9 posted on 03/24/2005 4:11:01 AM PST by eastforker (Ask me about a free satellite TV system!)
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To: GABaptist

I've never heard it.


10 posted on 03/24/2005 4:11:23 AM PST by Guillermo (Vote for Pedro)
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To: GABaptist
This is so old. And even if it was fresh, why would you post this?

Here's one you might like:

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say 'Hi' to you when you run into them at the liquor store.

11 posted on 03/24/2005 4:12:52 AM PST by spodefly (This is my tag line. There are many like it, but this one is mine.)
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To: spodefly

Yup, always take two baptist fishing with you, if ya only take one he will drink all your beer, if ya take two they will be to busy watching one another.


12 posted on 03/24/2005 4:15:51 AM PST by eastforker (Ask me about a free satellite TV system!)
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To: sinkspur

bump


13 posted on 03/24/2005 4:16:30 AM PST by pageonetoo (You'll spot their posts soon enough!)
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To: tx_eggman

So, he retired for family reasons, what is wrong with that -- you anti family value characters drive me nuts! :-)


14 posted on 03/24/2005 4:23:23 AM PST by RAY (They that do right are all heroes!)
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To: eastforker
Yup, always take two baptist fishing with you,...

I was elected a Deacon in a Southern baptist Church in NC. At the get-to-know-you shindig at the head deacon's fishing camp, we feasted on mystery meat stew (deer, rabbit, squirrel, dove, and no-telling what else) and washed it down with beer...

I was raised Episcopal (whiskeypalian), but that was an eye-opener to me. I had been led to believe that good Baptists don't imbibe!


15 posted on 03/24/2005 4:23:52 AM PST by pageonetoo (You'll spot their posts soon enough!)
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To: spodefly

LOL! I heard that the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist is that a Methodist learned to read. *~*.....btw, before anyone jumps on me, I'm a Baptist.


16 posted on 03/24/2005 4:31:38 AM PST by Dawgreg (Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.)
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To: sinkspur
All Schiavo all the time is wearing me out.

Yes, why does not the joke contain why the Dog thinks Terri should be saved by Bush in a cammo outfit smashing through the hospital window like Rambo.

17 posted on 03/24/2005 4:34:01 AM PST by freedumb2003 (First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women (HJ Simpson))
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To: TexasTransplant
How about DUCKS?????

Duck walks into a bar....says to the bartender: "Got any duck food?" Bartender says "No, and we don't serve ducks in here, anyway. Now, get out." Duck leaves, but comes back in a few minutes and says "Got any duck food?". Bartender says "NO !! Now get out." Again the duck leaves but soon returns and says "Got any duck food?". Barkeep is really ticked now....."If you don't stay out of here, I'm going to NAIL your feet to the floor". Duck leaves. Comes back and said "Got any NAILS?" Bartender screams, "NO !!" Duck grins and says "Got any duck food?......."

18 posted on 03/24/2005 4:41:31 AM PST by jmax
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To: jmax

Excellent!
I must be in the right place.


19 posted on 03/24/2005 4:43:25 AM PST by TexasTransplant (NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSET)
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To: tx_eggman

I never heard it before. Too funny!!


20 posted on 03/24/2005 5:04:05 AM PST by SMARTY
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To: pageonetoo
I was elected a Deacon in a Southern baptist Church in NC. At the get-to-know-you shindig at the head deacon's fishing camp, we feasted on mystery meat stew (deer, rabbit, squirrel, dove, and no-telling what else) and washed it down with beer...

I was raised Episcopal (whiskeypalian), but that was an eye-opener to me. I had been led to believe that good Baptists don't imbibe!

Yeah, but you forgot the cardinal good ole' boys' rule, which trumps the church regs - What ya do in camp stays in camp!

21 posted on 03/24/2005 5:04:23 AM PST by Kenton ("Life is tough, and it's really tough when you're stupid" - Damon Runyon)
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To: spodefly
What's the difference between a Northern Baptist and a Southern Baptist?



A Northern Baptist says "There ain't no Hell".
A Southern Baptist says "The Hell they ain't".
22 posted on 03/24/2005 5:10:45 AM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (When you compromise with evil, evil wins. AYN RAND)
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To: TexasTransplant; lightingguy

Here's another dog one, just came from my father-in-law via email -

The Old Poodle Dog

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story..

Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.


23 posted on 03/24/2005 5:15:31 AM PST by agrace
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To: tx_eggman

I don't know why, but it cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.


24 posted on 03/24/2005 5:18:26 AM PST by thatsmrfoster2u (Wake me up early, be good to my dogs, and teach my children to pray)
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To: agrace

Good stuff!


25 posted on 03/24/2005 5:19:34 AM PST by TexasTransplant (NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSET)
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To: pageonetoo

That is an Episcopalian cat, I can tell!


26 posted on 03/24/2005 5:21:57 AM PST by cajungirl (l)
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To: sinkspur

I agree.

With all the bad stuff going down this week, It's a good morning laugh.


27 posted on 03/24/2005 5:30:22 AM PST by cyclotic (Cub Scouts-Teach 'em young to be men, and politically incorrect in the process)
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To: tx_eggman; TexasTransplant; spodefly; eastforker; Dawgreg; SMARTY; HuntsvilleTxVeteran

tx_eggman,Try this story on your Cajun wife. I think it's especially funny since it's supposed to be true:

During his gubernatorial campaign in southern Louisiana, Huey Long was advised to play to the Roman Catholicism of many of the voters. Accordingly, he opened his first speech with the following words:

"When I was a boy, I would get up at six o'clock in the morning on Sunday, and I would hitch our old horse up to the buggy and I would take my Catholic grandparents to mass. I would bring them home, and at ten o'clock I would hitch the old horse up again, and I would take my Baptist grandparents to church."

"Why, Huey," the advisor later remarked, "you've been holding out on us. I didn't know you had any Catholic grandparents." "Don't be a damn fool," Long replied. "We didn't even have a horse!


28 posted on 03/24/2005 5:49:26 AM PST by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for Spec.4 Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: TexasTransplant

Here's another cute joke:
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."


29 posted on 03/24/2005 5:51:07 AM PST by Shery (S. H. in APOland)
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To: Graybeard58

Good one, I had not heard this one before.

My poor old Step Mother (one of the nicest but dumbest person I have ever met) swore that Huey P. Long was the most honest person in the world.


30 posted on 03/24/2005 5:55:07 AM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (When you compromise with evil, evil wins. AYN RAND)
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To: Graybeard58; tx_eggman; TexasTransplant; spodefly; eastforker; Dawgreg; SMARTY; ...
Here's one I always liked . . .

Fellow is down with his span of mules plowing the creek bottom. His little boy comes running down the hill shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! Preacher's here!"

Fellow stops his mules, says, "Well, son, if it's the Methodist minister, hide all the chickens. If it's the Catholic priest, hide all the whiskey. And if it's the Baptist preacher . . . go sit on your mama's lap til I can get up there."

Disclaimer: used to be Episcopalian, now Catholic, married a Methodist boy, and I sit on the Board of Trustees of a Baptist Church (don't ask! :-D )

31 posted on 03/24/2005 5:57:27 AM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: HuntsvilleTxVeteran
"Oh, they say he was a crook,
But he give us free school book,
Oh tell me why is it they kill Huey Long?"

. . . I know he was a crook, but anybody who receives the German Ambassador in green silk pajamas gets some points for style and chutzpah. And he had more class than Earl . . .

32 posted on 03/24/2005 5:59:01 AM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: AnAmericanMother
When I got my first contact lens in the early 1960s, I was stopped by a policeman close to Charley's Lake (Lake Charles) and my drivers license said with glasses.

He asked me "Why ain't you wearing glasses"?
I said " I have contacts".
He said "I don't care who you know, I'm still going to give you a ticket."
33 posted on 03/24/2005 6:08:13 AM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (When you compromise with evil, evil wins. AYN RAND)
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To: jmax
How about DUCKS?????

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says,"You're a duck, how're you gonna pay for it?"

The duck says,"Put it on my bill!"

Sorry, couldn't help it.

34 posted on 03/24/2005 6:08:53 AM PST by oldsalt
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To: HuntsvilleTxVeteran

LOL! An oldie but a goodie!


35 posted on 03/24/2005 6:09:30 AM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: tx_eggman
Thanks for an early morning laugh! Man! I think we all needed that!

Now, here's a really really old groaner:

Do you know what made Budweiser? His wife came home with Schlitz in her pants.

(I can't believe I'm going to post this--LOL!)

36 posted on 03/24/2005 6:16:37 AM PST by basil (Exercise your Second Amendment--buy another gun today!)
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To: AnAmericanMother
This is from an old Cajun comic.

He was talking to a friend about how Comeaux was always slapping him on the chest and breaking his cigars.

He said " I am going to fix that Comeaux. I put dynamite in place of my cigars and when Comeaux slaps me on the chest, I will blow his dam* hand off.
37 posted on 03/24/2005 6:23:21 AM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (When you compromise with evil, evil wins. AYN RAND)
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To: HuntsvilleTxVeteran

Rather thought the same of Clinton. Go figure.


38 posted on 03/24/2005 6:26:23 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: AnAmericanMother

I ordered Ken Burns' DVD on ol' Huey a few weeks ago. We love Louisiana and it's rich culture and history. Thank goodness we don't have far to travel....(being in east Texas). I have always had an interest in Long.....he was such a magnetic person, but corrupt to the bone and not worth killin'.....(but I guess Carl Weiss thought he was).....*~*.


39 posted on 03/24/2005 6:43:06 AM PST by Dawgreg (Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.)
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To: jmax
How about DUCKS?????

Duck walks into a bar....says to the bartender: "Got any duck food?" Bartender says "No, and we don't serve ducks in here, anyway. Now, get out." Duck leaves, but comes back in a few minutes and says "Got any duck food?". Bartender says "NO !! Now get out." Again the duck leaves but soon returns and says "Got any duck food?". Barkeep is really ticked now....."If you don't stay out of here, I'm going to NAIL your feet to the floor". Duck leaves. Comes back and said "Got any NAILS?" Bartender screams, "NO !!" Duck grins and says "Got any duck food?......."

=========================

How about ducks?? How about GRASSHOPPERS??

This grasshopper goes into a bar and order a beer. The bartender sets the beer in front of him and say,

"Say, I bet you don't know we gotta drink named after you."

The grasshopper looked puzzled, "You gotta drink named 'Murry' ??"

40 posted on 03/24/2005 7:10:33 AM PST by yankeedame ("Born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.")
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To: oldsalt
A font walks into a bar.
The bartender said, "We don't serve your type here." Image hosted by Photobucket.com
41 posted on 03/24/2005 7:19:12 AM PST by MaryFromMichigan (We childproofed our home, but they are still getting in)
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To: HuntsvilleTxVeteran
That's like the Irish joke about the two guys and the shovel . . . same general idea.

A friend of mine is good friends with a Catholic priest from Thibodeaux. He tells the best Cajun jokes I ever heard . . . "CoonAss Airlines Flight 101" may be the best one he told . . . it's a real shaggy dog, but Comeaux the cropduster and Boudreaux the ex-Greyhound bus driver started this airline . . . ol' Comeaux had a heart attack and died en route, Boudreaux gets on the radio and screams for help. Gets a response, "CoonAss Airlines Flight 101, this is Lake Charles tower. What is your height and what is your position?"

Boudreaux screams back, "I'm five foot six an' I'm sittin' in de front!"

42 posted on 03/24/2005 7:23:51 AM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: MaryFromMichigan
A blonde walks into a bar

"Ouch!"

43 posted on 03/24/2005 7:46:58 AM PST by steveo (Member: Fathers Against Rude Television)
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To: steveo
Lol!

Why did the blonde have "TGIF" written on her shoes?
Toes Go In First.
44 posted on 03/24/2005 7:50:20 AM PST by MaryFromMichigan (We childproofed our home, but they are still getting in)
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To: AnAmericanMother

You might be a Boudreaux if,

Watching Wild Kingdom inspires you to write a cookbook


45 posted on 03/24/2005 7:57:00 AM PST by TexasTransplant (NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSET)
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To: oldsalt

John Kerry6 walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?"


46 posted on 03/24/2005 10:45:52 AM PST by Mr. K
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To: GABaptist; tx_eggman
I'll have to check my calender, I swear these Friday's come around sooner all the time.

PS: I liked it and it was new to me. Thanks, eggman, and say hi to the Walrus. ;-)

47 posted on 03/24/2005 11:44:53 AM PST by Michael.SF. (Does anyone remember Billy Dale? Did the Democrats ever care?)
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To: GABaptist

"This is so old. And even if it was fresh, why would you post this?"

Because it's been an incredibly chitty week for our country, and s/he knew we needed a laugh?

Welcome to FR, BTW. Watch your manners. ;)


48 posted on 03/24/2005 11:46:28 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: agrace

Too funny!!
All the more entertaining because my childhood dog was a poodle. Can't imagine him in this scenario. Most poodles are genetic mutants!


49 posted on 03/24/2005 11:36:22 PM PST by turnrightnow (bink's mom)
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To: tx_eggman

Well, I've never heard this one before and I think it's really funny. Thanks. Needed a break from the Schiavo sadness. Nothin' like a good joke.


50 posted on 03/24/2005 11:37:38 PM PST by turnrightnow (bink's mom)
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