Louisiana Dog For Sale

A guy is driving around in Cameron Parish, and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner, Thibodeaux, tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks Thibodeaux what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars." Thib says. "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He didn't do none of dat crap."

That's like the Irish joke about the two guys and the shovel . . . same general idea.

A friend of mine is good friends with a Catholic priest from Thibodeaux. He tells the best Cajun jokes I ever heard . . . "CoonAss Airlines Flight 101" may be the best one he told . . . it's a real shaggy dog, but Comeaux the cropduster and Boudreaux the ex-Greyhound bus driver started this airline . . . ol' Comeaux had a heart attack and died en route, Boudreaux gets on the radio and screams for help. Gets a response, "CoonAss Airlines Flight 101, this is Lake Charles tower. What is your height and what is your position?"

Boudreaux screams back, "I'm five foot six an' I'm sittin' in de front!"

Boudreaux & Thibodeaux were driving around town one night, and coming up to a red light, Boudreaux runs right through it, not even slowing down.

Thibodeaux says, "Boudreaux, you ran dat red light. Be careful!" Boudreaux tells him, "Don't worry, Hebert does it all de time, and nuttin ever happens."

A few minutes later, another red light, and Boudreaux runs it too. Thibodeaux screams at him, Boudreaux, you keep running dem red lights, you gonna got us killed!"

Boudreaux assures him, "Mais I done tol' you, Hebert does it all de time wid no problem. Don't worry."

The next intersection they come to, they have a green light, and Boudreaux slams on the brakes, coming to a complete stop on green.

Thibodeaux asks him, "Why you stop for de green light?" Boudreaux, looking cautiously both ways tells him, "Mais, if I gots de green
light, I gots to be careful, 'cause Hebert might be passing de other way!"

Comeaux and his wife Marie, send their son Ti Jean to college. The first one in the family to make it that far. So Ti Jean goes up to Lafayette and enrolls at the University of Louisiana-Lafayette (U - LA - LA). Comeaux pays the tuition and gives Ti Jean $1000 but tells him it has to last the whole semester.

Well Ti Jean has a grand ole time at college and gets involved in a weekly bourre' game. For the first few weeks he's doing pretty good, but it turns out he's just being suckered in. By week 6 he's lost almost all of his $1000, so Ti Jean calls his Daddy and asks for another $1000 and their old hound dog, Blue. "What you need dat for, Ti Jean?" asks Comeaux. "Because dese fancy colleges now can teach dogs how to talk," reports Ti Jean, "and the fee is $1000."

So ole Blue arrives on the Greyhound and a check comes in the mail for $1000. Pretty soon Ti Jean loses that $1000 in another bourre' game so he asks for another $1000. "Mon Dieu, Ti Jean, what for?" Comeaux demands. "Dey got a course here can teach ole Blue how to read!" Ti Jean says. "OK," Comeaux relents. "But c'est tout!"

$1000 comes in the mail, and Ti Jean manages to make it through until Christmas break. As he's driving home to Carencro, Ti Jean pulls over to the side of the road, takes out ole Blue and his shotgun and shoots the dog dead. After burying the family pet, he continues on home, where a big sign in the front yard says, "Welcome home Ti Jean and Blue!" Family is all around, cooking and dancing, but Ti Jean gets out of the car with a long face. Comeaux comes over and asks, "Son, where's ole Blue." Ti Jean pulls his Daddy aside and says, "Well Pappa, I was driving home with Blue in the front seat. He was reading the Wall St. Journal and he turned to me and said, 'It sure will be nice to get home for Christmas.' 'Yep' I said. 'You ain't lyin.' Then, Daddy, Blue puts the paper down and turns to me and says, 'Is your Daddy still messin' around wit dat waitress at the Catfish House?'"

Whereupon Comeaux points a stern finger at his son and says, "I hope you shot dat damn dog!" "Dat's EXACTLY what I did, Daddy!" Ti Jean says.

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