Holy $h!t, that's big !
Posted on 03/24/2005 8:43:25 AM PST by doug from upland
Note: the parody CD discussed below is the brainchild of a couple of "FReepers." The owner of the website FreeRepublic.com has no financial interest or any other interest in the company Right Wing Parodies LLC or in the album.
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3-24-05
It is a CD that will certainly cause some controversy. Oh, those mean right wingers. Look what they are doing now.
Right Wing Parodies LLC has announced the release of its parody CD - YOU'VE BEEN FREEPED, Vol. 1. The CD skewers Democratic politicians and other disgusting folk without mercy.
To be "FReeped" is a term used on the Free Republic website. An example occured last weekend at the anti-American, Bush-hating, anti-war demonstrations that the left wing lunatics held across the country. Patriotic Americans got in the faces of the anti-Americans and FReeped them. Another example of a FReeping was Dan Rather being caught by the FReepers with forged documents in a failed effort to help John Kerry get into the White House. What's the frequency now, Dan?
YOU'VE BEEN FREEPED, Vol. 1 pokes fun at Democrats. No, let's not sugarcoat it. It eviscerates them with stinging humor.
Right Wing Parodies LLC had heard and seen enough of Democrat politicians and their anti-American activities during time of war. Some would argue that they have been giving aid and comfort to the enemy. Democrats are in free fall as they watch the Middle East dramatically changing and moving toward freedom while they were sitting on the sidelines complaining.
Below are the lyrics to most of the songs. Right Wing Parodies LLC hopes they can be heard on the radio and that more of America can join in the fun of publicly mocking the Democrats. The political left tries to make their point with screaming and vile demonstrations of classless, disgusting, smelly people in the street. The political right does it with humor. Wouldn't it be humorous if the Democrats went the way of the Whigs?
The musicians went to great lengths to create music that reminds you of the original tune but is different enough to not violate any rights of the original artists. Okay, who is ready to sing?
One Fine Soldier (One Tin Soldier)
Listen, people, to the story of the man who won the day
We had really dodged a bullet...with his men he led the way
When he learned that John Forbes Kerry had been working on a plan
He could never let that happen...that man's unfit for command
DemocRATS would launch their salvos...he stood up to every blow
They used every dirty tactic...but they could not make him go
He risked his life once for his country...and then stepped up again
John O'Neill and the SwiftVets...you'll never know finer men
All the lefties got together and they said these men had lied
They would not debate the substance...John Forbes Kerry still denied
We watched the charade keep on going...records he would not reveal
Brokaw, Jennings, and Dan Rather thought that it was no big deal
DemocRATS would launch their salvos...he stood up to every blow
They used every dirty tactic...but they could not make him go
He risked his life once for his country...and then stepped up again
John O'Neill and the SwiftVets...you'll never know finer men
Voters finally paid attention...Kerry's wounded, and it showed
This man was a fake and phony...from his mouth the anger flowed
On a fateful day it happened...on a Tuesday in '04
That is when he was rejected...Kerry had been shown the door
DemocRATS would launch their salvos...he stood up to every blow
They used every dirty tactic...but they could not make him go
He risked his life once for his country...and then stepped up again
John O'Neill and the SwiftVets...you'll never know finer men
The B**** Boxer (The Boxer)
Her name's Barbara Boxer...she's a whiny little witch
She is their brand new attack dog
As the most obnoxious senator she’s found her niche
I do declare
After seeing her on C-SPAN
I could pull out all her hair...frizzy hair
Gray, lifeless hair
She was jumping all over Condi Rice
One of freedom's greatest lights
Condi taught her a great lesson
You don't bring a knife when it is time for your gunfight
Your gunfight
Condi shot her like a tin can...much to all of our delight
The attack dog turned and ran off in the night
See her whine...Barbara Boxer likes to whine
See her whine...it's so funny on TV when we watch her whine
So the pest kept on attacking...she's a woman with no clue
It was so annoying
Boxer saw those steely eyes that told her "I'll get you"
I will get you
You'll regret all this showboating by the time this hearing's through
By the time this hearing's through
(musical break)
See her whine...Barbara Boxer likes to whine
See her whine...it's so funny on TV when we watch her whine
Out of her Condi made mincemeat
It was something to behold...to behold
It's a great one for the archives...it is solid gold
This one is……solid gold
DemocRATS rushed to her side and gave to her some smelling salts
She crawled back into her corner
'Cause Condi had picked her up and threw her on the mat
And broke her like a very fragile vase (väz)
Like Roberto or a Frenchie she cried out "Oh, please no mas...please no mas"
See her whine...Barbara Boxer likes to whine
See her whine...it's so funny on TV when we watch her whine
See her whine...Barbara Boxer likes to whine
See her whine...it's so funny on TV when we watch her whine
The Day Mainstream Media Died (American Pie)
A long, long time ago...when the TV news biz started
They knew not where it would go
They hoped it would last forever...no matter how they did their jobs
But there were things that they just couldn't know
The public trust they were abusing...they thought that they would catch us snoozing
They sneaked in their bias...pretending to be pious
Talk Radio, cable, and internet...showed them all that their match they met
In his Depends Cronkite wet and Old Media had died
So bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
It was Brokaw, Jennings, and Rather who each night put out all that blather
They determined what was news
They pretended that they were real journalists...the more we heard, the more we're p*ssed
We grew so weary of their slanted views
Every chance they'd knock the GOP...it was obvious, the blind could see
While they put out their leftist prattle...we were getting set for the battle
Well, there came a guy named JimRob who had quite enough
It was time our side proved that it had the right stuff...he took charge and showed them it wasn't a bluff
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
For years the game they had been winning 'cause they were really good at spinning
It was easy as could be
Entertainment they sometimes threw in for fun...they came down hard on those with guns
Oh my, there's Katie's colonoscopy
There was shock when they examined her..."That's her brain" each one would soon concur
Then the nurses all started screaming...when they realized they're not dreaming
We heard some shout, "Here is a chance we cannot let pass...we will say we're sorry if we're being too crass
Everyone knew Katie's head was in her *ss"
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
Their cheerleading really was shameless...for what RATS did they're always blameless
No one had been too surprised
To the whole world they'd proven that they were whores...they kissed the feet of Michael Moore
Can I please have that pizza supersized?
He ballooned up to a half a ton...he could cause an eclipse of the sun
To the anchors he was a hero...while things burned they're playing like Nero
There was no chance they would show both sides of anything...propaganda they had been determined to bring
One day they were foiled by the vast right wing
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
Would they do what's right? They're saying, "NO, never"...they thought they were just so very clever
They thought they'd get away with it
Docs were found down in Sandy Berger's pants...and Dan Rather thought he'd take a chance
With those forgeries now George Bush he would get
Dan used them and he was elated...but Bush is misunderestimated
Thanks to a group of sleepers...pajama-wearing FReepers
So Dan Rather's plan would fail...Ken's frequency was now in a jail
A happy ending to this tale
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died
Kerry’s Battle of Kansas City (Battle of New Orleans)
It's mid November nineteen seventy one
A major confrontation, friends, was said to have begun
Some vets had done some planning...they were getting really sore
They would move to the next level in attempts to stop the war
The FBI had been watchin' 'em in action
They're gettin' real scary...what's the next thing they would do?
In Kansas City would the plot gain traction
Would senators see pearly gates before the year was through?
A young John F. Kerry had been telling great big lies
U.S. troops pulled off mass murder, that should come as no surprise
They're killing for pleasure and were zapping testicles
Before the U.S. Congress he was spreading all that bull
The FBI had been watchin' 'em in action
They're gettin' real scary...what's the next thing they would do?
In Kansas City would the plot gain traction
Would senators see pearly gates before the year was through?
Back in Vietnam there were some men held by the Cong
They were undergoing torture...that side thought it wasn't wrong
They used John's words...and for the men it's really rough
John F. Kerry, you're a traitor...we have really had enough
The FBI had been watchin' 'em in action
They're gettin' real scary...what's the next thing they would do?
In Kansas City would the plot gain traction
Would senators see pearly gates before the year was through?
Scott Camil had been screamin' "It's time we were votin'!
Are you with or against us...we must know where you all stand"
John told them no and gave his resignation
'Cause after all, you know, that a career had been well-planned
He's hidden the record and hoped we would not find out
But Tom Lipscomb found the story...we know what John's all about
A lesson Kerry learned is now becoming evident
If you are whacking senators, you can't be president
The FBI had been watchin' 'em in action
They're gettin' real scary...what's the next thing they would do?
In Kansas City would the plot gain traction
Would senators see pearly gates before the year was through?
Scott Camil had been screamin' "It's time we were votin'!
Are you with or against us...we must know where you all stand"
John told them no and gave his resignation
'Cause after all, you know, that a career had been well-planned
Imagine Islamofascists (Imagine)
Imagine no more warriors…it’s easy if you try
Without our weapons…poor Arabs would not die
Imagine all us marching…there’d be love and peace
Imagine no right wingers…who always want a war
They’re so damn patriotic…I do not know what for
Imagine if Osama…knew we would not fight
You-ou-ou-ou-ou…might say I’m an airhead
But I’m not the only one
Come on, I think you should join us
Our Utopia’s begun
Well, wait here just one second…what the heck do I see
Here come Islamofascists…they’re coming after me
My mother raised a fool…my head’s you know where
You-ou-ou-ou-ou…can call me an airhead
‘Cause it seems that you were right
Somebody shot me...I am bleeding
I guess I have seen the light
Oldsmobile With the Binge Drinker Inside (Surrey With the Fringe on Top)
Mary Jo, come for a drive with me
With the wind in our hair we'll feel free
I have all the power of two hundred horses
We will have a fun time, you will see
Fords and Cads and Jags better scurry
'Cause I'll really be in a hurry
'Cause I'll really be in a hurry in my Oldsmobile
You are making my dingy quiver
I am hoping you will deliver
I know a nice place by a river where I'll cop a feel
It's automatic and the engine sure purrs
It has air for summer weather
And if I am naked while I fool around
My butt sometimes sticks to the leather
Mary Jo, you're cute as a model
Will you pass one more Chivas bottle
You'll see when I step on the throttle it will be surreal
It is always an adventure in my hot Oldsmobile
I've a technique I haven't varied
Let us just pretend I'm not married
Let us just pretend I'm not married in this Oldsmobile
I know sometimes I am conniving
My friend just took my test for diving
But I swear that I'm fit for driving so it's no big deal
It's automatic and the engine sure purrs
It has air for summer weather
And if I am naked while I fool around
My butt sometimes sticks to the leather
Mary Jo, you're cute as a model
Will you pass one more Chivas bottle
You'll see when I step on the throttle it will be surreal
It is always an adventure in my hot Oldsmobile
When we hit the road, if it's raining
There will be no need for complaining
My brakes I've always been maintaining in my Oldsmobile
It's well known that I hold my liquor
Most officials get drunk much quicker
There's a barf bag if I get sicker after that big meal
It's automatic and the engine sure purrs
It has air for summer weather
And if I am naked while I fool around
My butt sometimes sticks to the leather
Mary Jo, you're cute as a model
Will you pass one more Chivas bottle
You'll see when I step on the throttle it will be surreal
It is always an adventure in my hot Oldsmobile
I Am Woman With a Gun (I Am Woman)
I am woman with a gun
I won’t take crap from anyone
So you rapists better stay away from me
If you dare to take the chance
I’ll shoot off something in your pants
Well, just try me and I guess you’re gonna see
Oh yes, I have found I am safe if I am carrying
I am not the one that someone will be burying
I’m determined…I will protect myself
I’m well-trained…I am invincible…I am packing
I am woman with a gun
And, I’m not fearing anyone
And, I warn muggers that I won’t be easy prey
I have practiced every week
If it is trouble that they seek
Then they’ll find out that it is not their lucky day
Oh yes, I have found I am safe if I am carrying
I am not the one that someone will be burying
I’m determined…I will protect myself
I’m well-trained…I am invincible…I am packing
I am woman with a gun
And, I am warning everyone
That if you break into my house you’re gonna die
I don’t have the time to wait
Because the police are always late
And I will fill bad guys with lead…I’m not too shy
Oh yes, I have found I am safe if I am carrying
I am not the one that someone will be burying
I’m determined…I will protect myself
I’m well-trained…I am invincible
I’m not into victimhood…being armed is really good
I think every woman should
End of the Legacy (End of the Innocence)
For several years they sang his song…he was a hero to their cause
In denial many lived…he placed himself up above the laws
He knew all of the right things to say…down through…hell and then back believers would go
In eight long years he's done to us…more damage than you know
For his neglect we would finally pay the price…the count's three thousand dead
We know just where to place the blame…it is on Bill Clinton's head
When the Cole was hit and brave men died…there is no doubt that he hadn't cried
He looked at his polls and sighed
Now this is the end…this is the end…of his legacy
At OKC he saw his chance…he needed to divide us all
He would create the vast right wing…and his mind-numbed fools would pick up the ball
So we'd fight among ourselves…and the…grand scheme had worked, he got his way
With our attention diverted he…would gut the CIA
For his neglect we would pay the price…the count's three thousand dead
We know just where to place the blame…it is on Bill Clinton's head
When the Cole was hit and brave men died…there is no doubt that he hadn't cried
He looked at his polls and sighed
Now this is the end…this is the end…of his legacy
We endured a psychopath…who saw himself as the Rockstar Prez
We had sent the warnings out…watch what this man does, not what he says
For neglect we paid the price…when those great buildings fell with many dead
And we know just where to place the blame…it's on Bill Clinton's head
When the Cole was hit and brave men died…there is no doubt that he hadn't cried
He looked at his polls and sighed
Now this is the end…this is the end…of his legacy
Doll Hair (Rag Doll)
Doll-oll-oll-oll hair…it is as silly as can be
Joe's doll-oll-oll-oll hair…I laugh when he is on TV
Joe Biden had his doctor put plugs in his head
He should have superglued a critter that was dead
Now he has…doll hair…now he has…doll hair
It's a bad transplant…worse than James Traficant
Doll-oll-oll-oll hair…it is as silly as can be
Joe lost his hair about the time he lost his mind
This liberal puke can kiss my rosy red behind
Now he has…doll hair…now he has…doll hair
It's a bad transplant…worse than James Traficant
Doll-oll-oll-oll hair…it is as silly as can be
Joe's doll-oll-oll-oll hair…I laugh when he is on TV
Hey, Joe, will you put on a hat...we're laughing so hysterically
Hey, Joe, come on, put on a hat…my ribs are hurting, can't you see?
California’s Screamin’ (California Dreamin')
Half a million more…just sneaked in today
I called INS…to see what they’d say
They said they're not worried…it will all be okay
California’s screamin’…why aren’t they sent away
I went to a store…I go to everyday
And I couldn’t understand…a word the clerks would say
Please tell me what is going on…do it without delay
California’s screamin’…why aren’t they sent away
(musical interlude)
Gangs are in the streets…everywhere I go
While La Raza screams…”This is Mexico!”
I am really startled…I am in dismay
California’s screamin’…why aren’t they sent away
Why aren't they sent away…why aren't the sent away
Stairway to the White House (Stairway to Heaven)
(musical intro)
She is evil and cold…she seeks power and gold
And she swears she’ll be back in the White House
She makes plans every day…her dream won’t go away
And she swears she’ll be back in the White House
She was sent straight here from hell…and she swears that she will be back in the White House
There’s a sign on her wall…that says “Freedom Must Fall”
It is clear that it has just one meaning
Children walk by a brook…who do not know she’s a crook
And that she’s spent her whole lifetime scheming
Oooh, you should be frightened
Oooh, you should be frightened
It’s the sign of the beast…as we look to the East
For this nation our hearts have been grieving
With notorious deeds…she’ll do all that she needs
She’s perfected the art of deceiving
Ooh, you should be frightened
Ooh, you should be frightened
And the rumor is soon…she’ll be playing her tune
As a piper she’ll have the RATS follow
She has masked what is true…what she tells them, they’ll do
Propaganda they easily swallow
If you’re dare questioning the motives of true believers
They all will say that you are hateful
‘Cause everything that she is doing is for the children
Understand, you should be grateful
Oooh, you should be frightened
Your head is spinning and it won’t stop…what is this evil?
The scene has almost become ghoulish
The left succeeded and dumbed down the whole population
She is the hope for all the foolish
And as her plan moved down the road…out of the shadows Satan strode
She’s been his tool all along…we soon will hear his fiery song
She played the victim and the wife…to Satan she has pledged her life
Great power’s always been her goal…to get it she gave up her soul
It’s time to all drop down and prayyyyyyyyyyy…pray…pray
Because Hillary swears she’ll get back to…the White House
Yasser in the Land Down Under (Land Down Under)
It is time that he finally checked out
It's a shame it wasn't decades sooner
He was a man who was so truly evil
The news came on my FM tuner
Yasser's gone to the place down under
Where's all the virgins he wonders
Yasser's gone to the place down under
Refusing peace had been a big blunder
That guy had been the scum of the earth
I know that this may sound scary
I have never thought I could say this
That Arafat might have been worse than even John Kerry
He's gone to the place down under
Where's all the virgins he wonders
Yasser's gone to the place down under
Refusing peace had been a big blunder
(musical break)
That guy had been the scum of the earth
I know that this may sound scary
I have never thought I could say this
That Arafat might have been worse than even John Kerry
He's gone to the place down under
Where's all the virgins he wonders
Yasser's gone to the place down under
Refusing peace had been a big blunder
He's gone to the place down under
Where's all the virgins he wonders
Yasser's gone to the place down under
Refusing peace had been a big blunder
He's gone to the place down under
Where's all the virgins he wonders
Yasser's gone to the place down under
Refusing peace had been a big blunder
Eve of Explosion (Eve of Destruction)
His arteries, are they imploding?
He's at 450, we have been noting
Blood pressure's 305...but, control the gloating
He looks just like a whale whenever he is floating
He's really the definition of self-promoting
And I tell you over and over and over again, my friend
That it won't be long till we watch Michael's explosion
He could not find truth if it bit his fanny
He makes up what he likes and pretends it is true
He is Jabba the Hut, but he isn't as dainty
Get the harpoon right now...I will shout "Thar he blew"
He's a real human slob...more slimy than The Blob
And I tell you over and over and over again, my friend
That it won't be long till we watch Michael's explosion
The fat will fly when we watch Michael's explosion
His Bowling film was filled with lying
If you believe it, you're self-denying
A traitor like this scum...yes, we should be trying
He's laughing at the bank at what fans have been buying
And even his fruits and veggies he likes deep frying
And I tell you over and over and over again, my friend
That it won't be long till we watch Michael's, explosion
He wowed 'em at Cannes, those Surrender Monkeys
In the great terror war, they are really a drag
When the going gets tough, do not count on their back-up
With just one cherry bomb, they will raise the white flag
He's real human slob...more slimy than The Blob
And I tell you over and over and over again, my friend
That it won't be long till we watch Michael's explosion
The fat will fly when we watch Michael's explosion
Just a Dumb Woman (Always a Woman)
She was 19 years old…I loved her English eyes
She was telling me no, that's a word I despise
So I took what I wanted, I'll take what I see
She cried like a child
But she's just a dumb woman to me
She was just 22…and at Yale we studied
Recollection's not clear…but she might have been bloodied
Though she talked to the police, they just let me go free
One more score I can count
And she's just a dumb woman to me
I always take what I want…I will never hear "no"
If they fail to comply
Don't they all know who I am…who do they think they are
They should not ask me why
She's a real beauty queen…Miss America winner
I used power and fear…and then I enjoyed dinner
I warned her not to talk…she'd be sorry, you see
I would blame it on her
'Cause she's just a dumb woman to me
(short musical interlude)
I always take what I want…I will never hear "no"
If they fail to comply
Don't they all know who I am…who do they think they are
They should not ask me why
One was really too kind…and no challenge at all
I got into her room…there was no one to call
I ripped clothing and bit her…she couldn't get free
There were tears in each breath…as I scared her to death
But she's just a dumb woman to me
I'm actually worse than Teddy. :)
You could not sing that badly, no one can be as bad as the clips of Teddy that Sean ran.
Ask uncleshag when I am singing him new lyrics on the phone. I hear his dog howling in the background.
Do we need to get the ASPCA and PETA out after DFU for being cruel to your dog's ears?
Thanks for the ping, Doug. Will check out ASAP.
ping for later
Holy $h!t, that's big !
I'd love it if someone could reduce it. I don't know how to do that. At least when you see it big, you can see Hillary's horns and teeth really well.
Oh ... well .... that makes it OK then ... sorry .... my bad ... carry on.
I'm still wishin' and hopin' for a parody of "Ka-WARD-jah" (the Wooden Indian) Churchill! only DFU can do it justice.
Is the Wooden Indian a song? Is there some significance to Ka-WARD-jah? I did a few Churchill songs already, and I'm not feeling inspired. Create some inspiration. :)
By the way, in the near future, that artwork will be released as a poster. Every FReeper should have one. :)
How about you calling talk shows and asking if they have heard the new album yet? :)
That is more like it. Thanks.
LOL...I'm pretty sure "Reagan!!" is on it, as well as "Money Ain't Nuthin'!!", so I'll track those two down...other than that, it's a mystery to...MUD
The HildaBeast is a ghastly being, ain't she?!
FReegards...MUD
bump
Gotta love Photoshop....
Ya just do an image resize in Photoshop.
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