Try a macro lens instead and enter some photography contests.
| Free Republic 2nd Qtr 2024 Fundraising Target: $81,000 | Receipts & Pledges to-date: $33,495 | |||
| ||||
| Woo hoo!! And we're now over 41%!! Thank you all very much!! God bless. | ||||
Posted on 04/05/2005 2:05:00 AM PDT by Mo1
Try a macro lens instead and enter some photography contests.
What a great idea! Nothing to do today.
Was wondering how I was going to fill up the hours.
Thanks, Lady Jag.
| You Know The Drill Click the Pic J |
And the Lady said:
1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say
a word... he knew better.
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at
the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him
and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy
grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has
never let me forget.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons I told
her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To
my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were
screams of laughter.
5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three year
old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him
constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between
errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I
kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have
any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his
pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He
calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better
by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true
story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to
have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's
that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the
set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a good
laugh.
"Take risks. Not to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping."
Great post, trussell!
Real life situations are often much funnier than "jokes."
You'd better start that toothpick sculpture before hurricane season!
Thanks.
I couldn't quit laughing after having read it...I just knew you all would get a kick out of it too!!
Yup.
Thanks for the Ping!!!
Here's a BUMP backatcha.. :-)
Bump!
Great pic! Wish I lived there!
Dang, where did I put those Fair Funkling rules?!
Too late!
Wow! When I checked in this morning, the donations were 30%. NOW, they're 81%!!!! And I have to change my tagline again to show that NC now has 34 monthly contributors.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
