Picking a Papal Name (Interesting)

Fox News ^ | April 18, 2005 | AP

[metalmanx2j]

VATICAN CITY — As soon as he says "yes" to being pope, the new head of the Roman Catholic Church (search) will make his first major decision: He'll choose a new name.

The new pope will be free to pick from any of his 264 predecessors, use his own first name or come up with something new.

Vatican-watchers will read the choice like tea leaves offering clues to the spirit of the new papacy.

"If he chooses the name Pius XIII, it is a clear signal that he didn't like Vatican II and wants to move the church backwards," said the Rev. Thomas Reese, editor of the Jesuit weekly magazine America, referring to the conservative stance of Pope Pius XII, who died in 1958.

Taking the name John XXIV would signify "a desire to continue the Second Vatican Council," Reese said. Pius XII's successor, John XXIII, called the international gathering of prelates from 1962-65, which was credited with modernizing the church through its liberalizing reforms.

According to conclave ritual, the new pope gives his name to the cardinals while they are still gathered in the Sistine Chapel (search). The name is then revealed to the world in the "Habemus papam" ("We have a pope") announcement from the balcony of St. Peter's Basilica shortly before the new pontiff appears to give his first blessing.

[Izzy Dunne]

It could be pope Bloatus:

[Luddite Patent Counsel]

It is said that John XXIII, on his deathbed and alarmed at what he saw happening to the Church, cried out, "Stop the Council!" So John XXIV might not be as clear-cut a signal as some think.

[Pippin]

Thanks for the NIGHTMARE!

YIKES!

[Mike Darancette]

If the new Pope had any nerve he would choose Peter II.

[RegulatorCountry]

St. Malachi called this pope "the glorious olive" for whatever that's worth.

[Pippin]

Thanks for the NIGHTMARE!

YIKES!

[karnage]

Gadzooks, man! Include a Barf Alert with that superbly rendered but hideous image!!

[Fitzcarraldo]

I'd like to see Pope John Paul George I.

[isom35]

no Pope Ringo?

[Pippin]

"I'd like to see Pope John Paul George I."

LOL!

Let me guess at what that fourth name would be........! :o)

[Gator101]

How about: Pope Excommunicator-of-pedophile-priests-and-certain-New-England-politicians-who-support-abortion-yet-still-take-Communion-to-get-votes, The First.

That would certainly set a definitive tone.

[ConservativeDude]

How about Spurgeon? That has a nice ring to it.

[NaughtiusMaximus]

My hat is in the ring!

(Last secret of Fatima: No Irish popes - ever. Hurrah!)

[Dog Gone]

My favorite name is Pope Hilarious.

[JarheadFromFlorida]

Dayum, would that be a real nightmare :)

[Pippin]

Go for it!

[LS]

I think we can bet it won't be Pope George Ringo.

[supercat]

Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the
Church, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866.  The
white smoke had hardly faded into the blue of the Vatican skies before
it dawned on the assembled multitudes in St. Peter's Square that his
name had hilarious possibilities.  The crowds fell about, helpless with
laughter, singing
	Half a pound of tuppenny rice
	Half a pound of treacle
	That's the way the chimney smokes
	Pope Goestheveezl
The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of
laughter streaming down their faces.  The event set a record for
hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron
Hans Neizant B"ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K"oln in 1653.
		-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

[supercat]

See 19

[jolie560]

Pope Beavis I

[NaughtiusMaximus]

I'm going to have a huge party in the Vatican and fly over all the Freepers. We'll have 1000 New Braunfels smokers on the square and plenty of Free Beer. I plan to be Pope Bubba I.

[Dog Gone]

I just picked up a copy of Vicars of Christ, a history of the papacy. I'm not catholic, but I love history. It's going to be a good read.

Murdering a pope was a pretty common occurrence. Many Italians believe the first Pope John Paul was poisoned.

[muir_redwoods]

habemus ignoramous corpulens

[Luddite Patent Counsel]

St. Malachi called this pope "the glorious olive" for whatever that's worth.

Maybe he used to hang out with Cardinal Martini?

[Pippin]

LOL!

[Miss Marple]

Why would Pope John Paul I have been poisoned? I'm woefully ill-informed on papal conspiracy theories.

[Fudd Fan]

I'd LOVE Pope Ringo I!

[NewRomeTacitus]

Pope Ropeadope, the Pugilist Pontiff.

[Fudd Fan]

LOL- can you make a good acronym out of that?

[DryFly]

How about Luther the First?

[Willie Green]

If the new Pope had any nerve he would choose Peter II.

How about Pope Piehl ?

[Fudd Fan]

Pope Piehl - THe Pocket Pope!

[Busywhiskers]

"How about Spurgeon? That has a nice ring to it."

There once was a preacher named Spurgy.
Who didn't think much of litugy.
But his sermons were fine,
and I use them as mine,
and so does the rest of the clergy.

[AlGone2001]

Theodorus Kennedeus Excommunicator I

[Willie Green]

Pope Piehl - THe Pocket Pope!

Walking in "the shoes of the Fisherman".

[Pelayo]

I'm hope'n for a Pope Urban IX... Like the redoubtable Pope Urban II.

[Dog Gone]

Supposedly he was going to relax standards on contraception and fertility treatments, and perhaps shake up the Vatican power structure.

I don't know.

But the death was mysterious, and no effort was made to find the cause of death. There was a popular book that came out after his death, In God's Name that made an effort to document the conspiracy. Whether it's true or not, I don't know. But it's not debateable that a lot of popes have been murdered over the years. Some were more obvious than others.

[sinkspur]

It is said that John XXIII, on his deathbed and alarmed at what he saw happening to the Church, cried out, "Stop the Council!"

Yes. It is said. By one source. Uncorroborated, at that.

[ExGeeEye]

I doubt it.

Again.

Think about it :)

[pbear8]

Luciani was a sick man going into the Conclave. He told them that this would kill him, but he took the job anyway. I believe the trouble was with his heart.

He was not going to change anything of substance in the Church.

[mikrofon]

He'll be wearing a papal Ringo on his finger...

[angelanddevil2]

I bet all of the Cardinals have already chosen a name...just in case. It's like the Oscar Awards. All the nominees have already a speech in case they win.

[Pelayo]

Oh I doubt it aswell... That doesn't mean I can't hope. I'm afraid something-a little more dramatic maybe-will have to be done on the frontier of Christendom. That contest was never decided, the fighting just petered out.

The truth is, I have absolutely NO faith in modern Western secular/material socialism to solve it.

Semper ad me sapientiam terrae, quae ab principi imperatorio subigitur, da!

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Sigh... That's why we southerners would never be pope. The popemobile would be an old Chevy spewinf fumes everywhere...

[small voice in the wilderness]

If you really want to make liberals wail and gnash, there really is only one choice:

Pope Buckhead

[ExGeeEye]

I was punning on "redoubtable"...

...and I see your point. Given a fragmentary report I heard out of Afghanistan (now that Islam is not required at gunpoint, Christianity is making inroads in a big way) and a statistic in Sunday's Parade supplement (60% of Arab-Americans are Christians), I think Islam is maybe on a tipping point.

[ExGeeEye]

You know you're a Redneck Pope if:

Your vestments include a big ol' belt buckle.

You hold a Friday Flea Market in the Piazza.

You seek to canonize Hank Williams.

Carry on...

[Semper911]

How about Pope Piehl ?

Pope Piehl - THe Pocket Pope!

LOL!

I love this place.

[NewRomeTacitus]

"The Shoes of the Pocket Fisherman".

I hope the new guy continues backing Free Republic. Here's John Paul greeting Bill Clinton.