Conclave Confidential: One Cardinal's Secret Diary

Los Angeles Times ^ | 04/20/05 | PATT MORRISON

[Fred]

Conclave Confidential: One Cardinal's Secret Diary

Locked down amid the frescoes and thoughts of flan.

Patt Morrison

April 20, 2005

The conclave journal of Roger Cardinal Mahony:

Opening Day, minus 1. Checked into the Casa Santa Marta hotel — and I got a top-floor room! I asked about a low-carb menu; I don't want to nod off after a big pasta lunch — huge embarrassment.

Isn't it funny — I have to come all the way to Rome to cast a vote that actually counts. The first ballot is tomorrow, but even four votes a day plus prayer surely can't take up the whole time? Glad I brought my free weights with me.

Hope St. Martha's lets me keep the little shampoos. My hair usually looks terrible after being under a zucchetto all day, but today it looked great. Oops, my bad — must mention vanity at confession.

Cardinal B worries we might be too comfy here. He reminded us of the conclave of 1271 — when there was no pope after three years of deliberating, and they locked up the cardinals in an old rat-trap and fed them bread and water. When they still didn't elect a pope, people took the roof off. He thinks these creature comforts aren't such a good idea. I felt like saying, "From your lips to God's ears — not!"

[Darkwolf]

Who'll bet me they'd never do something like this about a Muslim terrorist going to a big meetin' with UBL? (That'd only add to the "MASSIVE" amount of "anti-Muslim BIGOTRY" out there.)

Patt, stick to your appearances on SNL.

[Tax-chick]

On the one hand, this is very disrespectful ... on the other other, it's Cardinal Mahoney ...

[JohnnyZ]

On the one hand, this is very disrespectful ... on the other other, it's Cardinal Mahoney ...

On the third hand, it's probably real.

[Tax-chick]

I was sort of thinking that.

[tjwmason]

On the one hand, this is very disrespectful ... on the other other, it's Cardinal Mahoney ...

I disagree, I was nearly laughing out loud (not good at work) - it's so obviously satirical that it couldn't really be taken seriously. If we can't laugh at ourselves a little bit, then it's a sad sad world indeed - or as Hilaire Belloc put it so eloquently:

Where e'er the Catholic sun doth shine
There's always laughter and good red wine,
At least I've always found it so
Benedicamus Domino.

[kahoutek]

Hold on, JZ. It could very well be false but accurate. After all, it is MSM

[Tax-chick]

The thing is, about Cardinal Mahoney it may not be satire.

[george wythe]

this is very disrespectful ... on the other other, it's Cardinal Mahoney ...

The more I learn about Mahoney, the less I like him.

He and his ugly cathedral should be swallowed in an earthquake.

[bigsigh]

If a cardinal said "my bad" it's the 8th sign of the apocalypse.

[ARCADIA]

For the uninformed, what's the deal with Cardinal Mahoney?

[Cicero]

Even the barest suggestion that Cardinal Mahoney would have celebrated the election of Joseph Ratzinger is ludicrous.

[JohnnyZ]

For the uninformed, what's the deal with Cardinal Mahoney?

He's an idiot.

No moral courage.

No proclamation of Catholic truth.

Bad record on pederast priests.

Built a monstrosity of a cathedral that ignored all the Vatican rules on how to build churches -- obviously he's too important to take that "advice" and besides what's all that old-fashioned stuff about symbolism and glorifying God anyway?

Mahony is off in his own little world but doesn't know it yet.

[ARCADIA]

Sounds like he's a little flaky ... why do you say he's an idiot, lacking in moral courage? Why is the cathedral monstrous?

[JohnnyZ]

He's supposed to be a Cardinal, not a flake.

Do some searches on FR or the web, I'm sure you'll find plenty of commentary.

[Fred]

" Bad record on pederast priests."

That is putting it mildly. Mahoney does not have the courage to resign from covering up the sex scandals in Los Angeles. Even Cardinal Law had the decency and courage to resign.

More on Mahoney

The 1.8 million dollar LA Cathedral Eyesore

[JohnnyZ]

The 1.8 million dollar LA Cathedral Eyesore

Ha ha! $195,000,000 according to the Cardinal.

More on the Taj Mahony:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/743927/posts

[Mr. Mulliner]

[PandaRosaMishima]

This is so cute. I only wish that the Cardinals hadn't been so hasty to pick the Rottweiler, I'd love to see more of this. You do wonder just goes on in there. What would happen if we had to elect the President that way, lock the Senators and Congressmen in the Capitol until they decided "We have a President."
Food for thought.

[utahagen]

Here's just one anecdote: when the State of California proposed that CA issue 3 billion dollars in bonds to fund embryonic cell stem research, Cardinal Mahony did object (albeit only mildly), as one would expect a Catholic bishop to do. However, do you know what reason Mahony gave for objecting to the proposed bonds? That they would cost too much money. That human life would be conceived and destroyed evidently didn't trouble him. (By the way, Cardinal Mahony never thinks ANYTHING is too expensive when it comes to taxpayers' dollars or building a monstrously ugly cathedral in LA.) The guy's a bum. The only bishop I know of who's worse is Bishop Robert Lynch in Florida, who backed Terri Schiavo's husband in having Terri starved and dehydrated to death.