Posted on 04/20/2005 7:52:10 PM PDT by TapTap
Senator Chambers filed the following amendment to LB 454: AM1238 (Amendments to Standing Committee amendments, AM0810) 1 1. Insert the following new sections: 2 "Sec. 23. To determine the number of pistols a licensee 3 may lawfully carry concealed under the Concealed Handgun Permit Act 4 or section 28-1202 on any given occasion (except if the United 5 States or the State of Nebraska shall be at war), the body weight 6 of the licensee shall be multiplied by ten-times the licensee's 7 (admitted) age, then divided into the year of the licensee's birth 8 plus one hundred thirty-seven and one-half, then add the number of 9 inches of the licensee's height rounded up to the next full inch 10 which shall be subtracted from the number of the current century 11 (2100), if the number of the current century exceeds the other 12 number, otherwise subtract the number of the current century from 13 the other number, then, after multiplying the size of the 14 licensee's right shoe by three-times the girth of the licensee's 15 waist after a full meal, measured and certified by a professional 16 tailor, subtract the sum obtained by adding together the digits in 17 the licensee's social security number (which number shall be made 18 known only to the licensing authority and any employee thereof who 19 shall be guilty of a Class IB felony for any unauthorized 20 disclosure of the number to any other person), then divide the 21 grand total by three-fifths of the number on line 17 of the 22 licensee's personal income tax return (federal) for the immediately 23 preceding year, but if the licensee is not required by law to file 1 a federal income tax return or if the licensee failed to file a tax 2 return for the immediately preceding year and has not been indicted 3 for failure to file a return, this step should be disregarded and 4 in its stead, the licensee's home address (no post office box 5 number is acceptable) multiplied by ten if the address contains 6 four or fewer digits but by six and five-tenths if such address 7 contains five or more digits, but in no case shall the number of 8 pistols carried concealed exceed the total number of the licensee's pockets at the time of being approached, stopped, accosted, 10 interrogated, or otherwise contacted by any sworn law enforcement 11 officer and any other suitable hiding places including, but not 12 limited to: (1) Purses, (2) tote bags, (3) shopping bags of 13 whatever material or variety just so the pistol is not visible, (4) 14 umbrellas, (5) picnic baskets, (6) beverage coolers, (7) boots, ( 15 bras, (9) bloomers, (10) shorts (jockey or boxer), (11) briefcases, 16 (12) backpacks, (13) hidden holsters or reasonable facsimiles 17 thereof, (14) baggy britches, (15) billowy shirts, (16) bulky 18 sweaters, (17) flouncy skirts, et al., (1 coats of any and every 19 kind and variety, (19) wide sleeves, (20) big hair, (21) hats, (22) 20 helmets, (23) prostheses, (24) canes and walking sticks of any and 21 every variety suitable for the purpose of concealing a firearm, 22 (25) lunch buckets or boxes, and (26) hollowed-out books and the 23 like. 24 Sec. 24. Section 23 of this act shall be liberally 25 construed to accomplish the purpose of ensuring that licensees may 26 carry concealed the maximum number of pistols for personal 27 protection due to paranoia and stark terror of the licensee toward 1 the licensee's family, friends, neighbors, strangers, and possible 2 enemy invaders. 3 Sec. 25. Any person who violates section 23 of this act 4 is guilty of an infraction. In addition to any other punishment 5 imposed by the court, the defendant shall be required to go about 6 unarmed for a number of days equal to six times the sentencing 7 judge's age divided by the number of the courtroom where the 8 sentence is pronounced, subtracted from two hundred fifty, and 9 multiplied by two, but in no case fewer than one hundred eighty 10 days. 11 Sec. 26. If the defendant fails to comply fully and 12 completely with the going-about-unarmed requirement of section 25 13 of this act, the defendant shall be taken into custody and after a 14 hearing shall be transported by the sheriff of the county where the 15 proceedings were had to the facility or location where the Nebraska 16 State Patrol conducts firearms training and there the defendant's 17 trigger finger shall be shot off by Nebraska State Senator Jeanne 18 M. Combs using a pistol of her choice but which must be approved by 19 the Superintendent of Law Enforcement and Public Safety. Execution 20 of the punishment shall be without the benefit of any type of 21 anesthesia other than flavored malt liquor. 22 Sec. 27. In case of the death, sickness, absence, cold 23 feet, or inability to act, then State Senator Combs shall, in 24 writing, with the approval of the Superintendent of Law Enforcement 25 and Public Safety, designate and appoint a suitable and competent 26 person to act for her as shooter in any particular case. 27 Sec. 28. Any offense punishable by the shooting off of 1 the trigger finger must be punished according to the provisions 2 herein made and no other. The trigger finger or any parts, 3 portions, shreds, fragments, bits, pieces, other remnants, or leftovers shall be offered to the defendant for disposal in the 5 manner the defendant deems appropriate, otherwise cremation shall 6 be employed. 7 Sec. 29. When any person shall be sentenced to have his 8 or her trigger finger shot off, such punishment shall be inflicted 9 in such a manner as to exclude the view of all persons save any 10 clergyperson in attendance upon request of the defendant, the 11 Superintendent of Law Enforcement and Public Safety or his or her 12 designee, no more than three additional officers of the Nebraska 13 State Patrol selected and assigned by the superintendent, any 14 medical and other personnel deemed necessary or expedient by the 15 superintendent or his or her designee, and no more than three 16 representatives of the news media except that no television cameras 17 or other photographic devices or recording devices of any kind 18 shall be permitted at the scene of the shoot-off. In addition, the 19 defendant may choose to allow as many as ten tickets to be 20 auctioned to grant witnessing privileges to the ten highest bidders 21 if the proceeds are donated to a nonprofit charity. 22 Sec. 30. The filing of a notice of appeal shall act as a 23 supersedeas and shall stay execution of the sentence until after 24 all appellate proceedings have been completed and the sentence 25 affirmed. 26 Sec. 31. The cost of all proceedings, transportation, 27 use of the Nebraska State Patrol facility, and any ammunition shall 1 be borne by the defendant unless the sentence is overturned by the 2 court.".
I'd love to read this. Could you post it once more, this time with paragraphs?
One would imagine the law of gravity has something to do with this part, or is this an amendment?
The mind boggles!
Senator Chambers filed the following amendment to LB 454: AM1238 (Amendments to Standing Committee amendments, AM0810)
1 1. Insert the following new sections:
2 "Sec. 23. To determine the number of pistols a licensee
3 may lawfully carry concealed under the Concealed Handgun Permit Act
4 or section 28-1202 on any given occasion (except if the United
5 States or the State of Nebraska shall be at war), the body weight
6 of the licensee shall be multiplied by ten-times the licensee's
7 (admitted) age, then divided into the year of the licensee's birth
8 plus one hundred thirty-seven and one-half, then add the number of
9 inches of the licensee's height rounded up to the next full inch
10 which shall be subtracted from the number of the current century
11 (2100), if the number of the current century exceeds the other
12 number, otherwise subtract the number of the current century from
13 the other number, then, after multiplying the size of the
14 licensee's right shoe by three-times the girth of the licensee's
15 waist after a full meal, measured and certified by a professional
16 tailor, subtract the sum obtained by adding together the digits in
17 the licensee's social security number (which number shall be made
18 known only to the licensing authority and any employee thereof who
19 shall be guilty of a Class IB felony for any unauthorized
20 disclosure of the number to any other person), then divide the
21 grand total by three-fifths of the number on line 17 of the
22 licensee's personal income tax return (federal) for the immediately
23 preceding year, but if the licensee is not required by law to file
1 a federal income tax return or if the licensee failed to file a tax
2 return for the immediately preceding year and has not been indicted
3 for failure to file a return, this step should be disregarded and
4 in its stead, the licensee's home address (no post office box
5 number is acceptable) multiplied by ten if the address contains
6 four or fewer digits but by six and five-tenths if such address
7 contains five or more digits, but in no case shall the number of
8 pistols carried concealed exceed the total number of the licensee's
pockets at the time of being approached, stopped, accosted,
10 interrogated, or otherwise contacted by any sworn law enforcement
11 officer and any other suitable hiding places including, but not
12 limited to: (1) Purses, (2) tote bags, (3) shopping bags of
13 whatever material or variety just so the pistol is not visible, (4)
14 umbrellas, (5) picnic baskets, (6) beverage coolers, (7) boots, (
15 bras, (9) bloomers, (10) shorts (jockey or boxer), (11) briefcases,
16 (12) backpacks, (13) hidden holsters or reasonable facsimiles
17 thereof, (14) baggy britches, (15) billowy shirts, (16) bulky
18 sweaters, (17) flouncy skirts, et al., (1 coats of any and every
19 kind and variety, (19) wide sleeves, (20) big hair, (21) hats, (22)
20 helmets, (23) prostheses, (24) canes and walking sticks of any and
21 every variety suitable for the purpose of concealing a firearm,
22 (25) lunch buckets or boxes, and (26) hollowed-out books and the
23 like. 24 Sec. 24. Section 23 of this act shall be liberally
25 construed to accomplish the purpose of ensuring that licensees may
26 carry concealed the maximum number of pistols for personal
27 protection due to paranoia and stark terror of the licensee toward
1 the licensee's family, friends, neighbors, strangers, and possible
2 enemy invaders. 3 Sec. 25. Any person who violates section
23 of this act 4 is guilty of an infraction. In addition to any other punishment
5 imposed by the court, the defendant shall be required to go about
6 unarmed for a number of days equal to six times the sentencing
7 judge's age divided by the number of the courtroom where the
8 sentence is pronounced, subtracted from two hundred fifty, and
9 multiplied by two, but in no case fewer than one hundred eighty
10 days. 11 Sec. 26. If the defendant fails to comply fully and
12 completely with the going-about-unarmed requirement of section 25
13 of this act, the defendant shall be taken into custody and after a
14 hearing shall be transported by the sheriff of the county where the
15 proceedings were had to the facility or location where the Nebraska
16 State Patrol conducts firearms training and there the defendant's
17 trigger finger shall be shot off by Nebraska State Senator Jeanne
18 M. Combs using a pistol of her choice but which must be approved by
19 the Superintendent of Law Enforcement and Public Safety. Execution
20 of the punishment shall be without the benefit of any type of
21 anesthesia other than flavored malt liquor.
22 Sec. 27. In case of the death, sickness, absence, cold
23 feet, or inability to act, then State Senator Combs shall, in
24 writing, with the approval of the Superintendent of Law Enforcement
25 and Public Safety, designate and appoint a suitable and competent
26 person to act for her as shooter in any particular case.
27 Sec. 28. Any offense punishable by the shooting off of
1 the trigger finger must be punished according to the provisions
2 herein made and no other. The trigger finger or any parts,
3 portions, shreds, fragments, bits, pieces, other remnants, or leftovers shall be offered to the defendant for disposal in the
5 manner the defendant deems appropriate, otherwise cremation shall
6 be employed. 7 Sec. 29. When any person shall be sentenced to have his
8 or her trigger finger shot off, such punishment shall be inflicted
9 in such a manner as to exclude the view of all persons save any
10 clergyperson in attendance upon request of the defendant, the
11 Superintendent of Law Enforcement and Public Safety or his or her
12 designee, no more than three additional officers of the Nebraska
13 State Patrol selected and assigned by the superintendent, any
14 medical and other personnel deemed necessary or expedient by the
15 superintendent or his or her designee, and no more than three
16 representatives of the news media except that no television cameras
17 or other photographic devices or recording devices of any kind
18 shall be permitted at the scene of the shoot-off. In addition, the
19 defendant may choose to allow as many as ten tickets to be
20 auctioned to grant witnessing privileges to the ten highest bidders
21 if the proceeds are donated to a nonprofit charity.
22 Sec. 30. The filing of a notice of appeal shall act as a
23 supersedeas and shall stay execution of the sentence until after
24 all appellate proceedings have been completed and the sentence
v25 affirmed. 26 Sec. 31. The cost of all proceedings, transportation,
27 use of the Nebraska State Patrol facility, and any ammunition shall 1 be borne by the defendant unless the sentence is overturned by the 2 court.".
and there the defendant's trigger finger shall be shot off by Nebraska State Senator Jeanne M. Combs using a pistol of her choice but which must be approved by the Superintendent of Law Enforcement and Public Safety. Execution of the punishment shall be without the benefit of any type of anesthesia other than flavored malt liquor.
It looked real in the beginning...........
This is an amendment by a race baiting bigot of a senator. His asinine amendment is simply to delay things and hopefully smother the bill since, apparently, we have enough votes to break his filibuster.
It probably is real, the idiot rep is trying to torpedo CCW by making it insanely complex. This has been tried in a couple of states. Usually it doesn't even get a vote out of committee.
I wonder if he is aware of the fact that it is a federal felony to consipre to deprive an American citizen of his civil Rights. What's the population of Nebraska? 500,000?
That's half a million federal felony counts. But I'm not holding my breath for Alberto "I love torture" Gonzalez to do anything about it.
You don't understand. THIS IS REAL. Check the link at the top, this is straight from the Unicameral (an oligarchy foisted on Nebraskans some time ago). The bill has enough votes to pass and to break the intended filibuster. The plan is to delay it through endless foolish debate. THIS IS REAL!
Thanks for spending the time, though. I have to admit, I haven't laughed this hard for a long while.
Ya' know, I gotta quit following politics. The problem is I care too much about some of this stuff and it drives me crazy!
Remembering just a little about Senator Chambers, I don't doubt that's it real.
This barber has been in the Nebraska Legislature since at least the 1970s. (as a Senator, since they, quite sensibly, have only a single house, which is why it's often referred to as :the Unicameral". ) He was a 60's radical and he remains a socialist radical.
Census estimate for 2003 1,739,291
Census count for 2000 1,711,263
The amendment is real, but that's not the link to the unicameral. This is :http://www.unicam.state.ne.us/Amendment/AM_1238.pdf
The Nebraska Legislature's Black Agitator hasn't changed since I moved away 18 years ago. If anything his insanity has intensified.
Can anyone name just one liberal democrat that doesn't have the mentrality of a three year old.
If this is reality, then I know of a senator who doesn't deserve his seat. Silliness of this magnitude is nothing but a drain on the taxpayers.
>Silliness of this magnitude is nothing but a drain on the taxpayers.
That would perfectly describe Nebraska then.
I should have said the link is to a bill tracking system used by the Unicameral, I was mad and in a hurry. Sorry.
LB 454 has been "layed over" until 2006.
Nebraska stays WITH "DC" & Illinois; for another Year.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.