More 20-somethings depending on parents again

The Sun News ^ | 5/2/05 | Rick Montgomery

[Protagoras]

"The life stage between the late teens and late 20s is undergoing what many describe as a permanent transformation brought on by economic, educational and even biological forces, all irreversible."

Nothing is irreversible. The rest of the article means nothing after that early comment.

[Rytwyng]

Frankly I don't see anything wrong with living with your family, and I don't understand why people are so down on this. People lived with their families for thousands of years ...In most of the world, young people live with their families until marriage

Agreed. Why do people freak out about this? Now, if a 20-something won't get a job, won't help with house chores, etc, yes, that punk needs to be kicked out. But if he works, pays his own bills, and pulls his own weight, why not? Instead of wasting money on renting his own place, bank the money for a future matrimonial nest egg. That's what I did.

Of course, I'm old-fashioned. If you're living an upright single life, there's nothing to hide from your parents; but if you are engaging in premarital sex, then of course you need your own place for privacy. Otherwise, there's no need to move out til marriage.

[RockinRight]

Which is why I am glad to live in Ohio.

[Pessimist]

No wonder the young tend to be liberal. The voting age should be raised to 28 immediately.

[RexBeach]

DOUBLE GOOD for you!

I was a history major. So far, I've had three careers. A degree was not needed for any of them. All that means is that a degree should help you to think and study problems and questions, etc.

So far, I've been in politics, broadcasting and money management. What's next!?

[Rytwyng]

Yup, much of it is a big lie, especially college, which is a tremendous waste of time and money for most people, and unecessary for most non-technical jobs and which puts people in tremendous debt, much of it at public expense. Even those degrees that are technically oriented could cut many classes from their curriculum and make their programs shorter and less expensive

My Ph.D. in Chemistry was a waste; in retrospect I would have been better off just going to work with a bachelor's degree and learning on the job. Too late for me, but I'll warn my kids to steer clear of the gradschool trap.

And yes, if they're making an honest living and pulling their weight, they are welcome to live at home till they marry.

[Nowhere Man]

Baby boomers aren't paying for college so the kids have alot of debt. Divorce if so high that these kids have no one helping them make decisions because their parents are too concerned with themselves. 20 year olds now have to pay auto insurance, health care, and high taxes on everything. When I moved out in the 70's, car insurance was an option, health care was cheap, renting was cheap, gas for my car was 70 cents, ciggs were 50 cents.

Good points too. You got so much crap that we have to put up with today that you didn't back then and it costs more. I know in one post, I mentioned about life prior to World War II and how hard economically it was in th cities, but at least back then, you could hopefully get out of there and go out in the country and do something.

Also these kids are lied too. College is NOT for everyone. You still have to have a high IQ to graduate in a good major. Yet the boomers want their kids to go to college , take out loans and let the tax payer worry about them paying it back.

I think the college mentra started during Vietnam, at least for men because it was a way to get out of the draft. Even if you took "advanced basket weaving" (I know, hyperbole, but you see what I mean) in college, you were still in college hopefully biding your time until you got too old for the draft. College ain't for everyone, myself, I think I would have waited a few year before I went.

[adam_az]

"College education is a waste on an 18 year old. Too much partying. Let'em work in the real world a while (as I did as an enlisted man for 4 years) to learn what life is really like and to gain some focus, then go to back to school when you are able to understand the serious business that college is. My 2 cents worth."

I turned out pretty good, but still wish I had taken the route you describe above.

On the other hand, it would have meant serving under Clintigula the Slimy...

[Pessimist]

Maybe I'm just getting old, but it seems to me like "kids these days" have unrealistic wage expectations when they graduate. (Particularly those who major in any one of the many unemployable fields.)

Moreover, it doesn't bode well for us all if these - the future leaders of our country - automatically default to a philosphy of dependence on others when times are tough.

[IronJack]

As usual, the person with that little something "extra" will find he has many more options. If he is the 18-year-old who DOES move out of dad's basement and gets started on a career while all his friends are doing bong hits and slacking at Burger King, he'll find himself much more valued when the slackers hit the job market in earnest, and he'll have half a decade of experience on them.

The key is to be the fish that doesn't swim with the school. But as powerful as conformity was when I was a kid, it seems to be even more influential these days. Most 18-year-olds won't have the guts to challenge their peer values.

[PeterPrinciple]

"While caution beats rushing into a chosen field, sociologist Cote places some of the cause of stalled adulthood on elders dishing up "false promises and false hopes" to the young. "

My first thought on this was what a bunch of BS. On reflection there may be some truth here. My inheritance from my Dad was him telling me throughout my childhood: "You've got a smart mother and a smart father, you figure it out." Being a stupid kid who believed everything I was told, I began to believe this also. I can even remember my train of thought when I first heard this...........If my parents are smart......then that means, I'm smart........and if I'm smart, I can probably figure things out on my own. Down side to this is I am pretty independent and on the brink of becoming a crotchety old conservative.

I have given presentations with this story and many people came up to me later saying they wish their parents had told them this.

[KC_Conspirator]

In the old days in was not uncommon to find multiple generations of family living under the same roof.

Hell, Harry Truman was 34, married to Bess, out of a job, broke, and living in in Bess's parents house. Look where he ended up.

[Rytwyng]

I do think that's what it's about when many people say they would NEVER consider living with their parents. They want to maintain an active "dating" (sex) life, and they want to party.

True. Sin is expensive.

Unfortunately, this "a man must have his own place" ideology has crept over into the Christian world (along with the equally demonic "don't get married til you're 30" mantra, which is also rooted in the forniculture). Many Christian women refuse to consider dating a man living with his folks; they'd rather date the guy who blows all his money on a fancy apartment and a "cool" car. Then they wonder why the guy has no money saved up for having a family!!!

In cheaper parts of the country, it's not such an either-or choice, but in California, that's often how it works. You can be frugal, or "cool", but not both.

[Lou L]

With housing prices what they are sometimes that is the option. It's not always about being sponges. Anyway, if the parents agree to it it's nobody else's business.

While I certainly agree that having family members help with genuine financial needs is preferable to welfare, I disagree with the part of your statement that refers to housing prices.

I fear that too many kids today don't know what it's like to sacrifice, in order to get what's really important to them. Sure, housing prices in places like downtown Manhattan and the more chic places in California are outrageous, and probably beyond the reach of most 20-something college grads.

But, is living in those kinds of places truely imperative? Does a typical housing decsion always have to be: $3500/month, 1200 sq. ft. loft in Manhattan vs. going back to mom and dad's? Do those same living accomodations have to be supplied with the latest electronic gadgetry such as plasma TVs, digital cable, and furnished by Pottery Barn?

Couldn't that enterprising college graduate get a roommate, or take an apartment farther away from the trendy spots? That would go against everything that these young adults see on TV, and in the popular culture. Advertising almost suggests that adults in that age bracket live far beyond their means, and for the many that can't afford it, "going back to the parents" has to feel like the only other option.

[Republican in CA]

I live in a neighborhood of immigrants, and their children are expected to live at home, until marriage or until they buy their own homes. Or, like my next door neighbors, the youngest kid married, stayed at home, and then purchased the parents out of their home. Now the parents pay the kid rent.

Anyway, historically, staying at home until marriage is normal. What is odd was the trend in the US, starting in the 60's, of kids moving out as soon as possible (drugs, sex and rock'n'roll).

Having kids stay at home longer is a great trend (as long as the parents enjoy it) that will allow these kids to stay out of debt, and get on a firmer financial footing.

One other trend that no one brought up is that graduate degrees are being required for more jobs now. I think there's been "degree inflation" as many more people have gotten undergraduate degrees in the past thirty years, and so to narrow the field, you now need a graduate degree.

[ScreamingFist]

Generation "Mooch"

[A. Pole]

I know this is common in Europe and elsewhere in the world, in fact, my dentist, he's of Chinese ancestry, he's in his 30's and still lives at home.

This a normal human arrangement. Children when they grow up they become the heads of the household and their old parents "live at home".

That way the old parents/grandparents have place to stay and well deserved support while they contribute to the care for grandchildren. Nothing more normal! Sooner this age-long and correct custom is restored the better.

[dfwgator]

Instead of wasting money on renting his own place, bank the money for a future matrimonial nest egg. That's what I did.

You hit on something. If kids could sock more money away for retirement while they are in their early 20s, that would make a huge difference in the amount of money they could have for their retirement, than if they started saving in their late 20s/early 30s.