Skip to comments."That may be too late!"
Posted on 05/03/2005 7:36:10 PM PDT by GeekDejure
Hello Freepers... it's Alex (GeekDekure) here...
Laura, my darling wife of 30 wonderful years, has been in the hospital, dying from the devastating effects of severe cancer. I talked to her on the phone at 5:00 this evening. I told her I'd be at her bedside on Wednesday morning at 11:00. In a quiet, muffled, fast breathing voice she said, "That may be too late!"
Later... at 7:45... I received a call from Laura's son, Mark. "Sorry to have to tell you, Alex... Mom died at 7 o'clock !!!"
Freepers... I really feel like a totally useless piece of sh!t. Good grief... I couldn't even be at my wife's bedside when she died !!! Eeeyuch... just another reason for me to hate myself... and no, I surely don't need therapy. I'll live with it privately until I eventually join her in Heaven above !!!
Laura and I are followers of Yahweh (the true Name of the Most High). And despite losing her to the cancerous infestation that finally overtook her ability to survive, I am still convinced that the Force ( Yahweh ) is with us !!!
click...click... Alex (GeekDejure) ;-((
I'm so sorry. That's awful.
Dude, I grieve with you. But please...don't do anything foolish!
Yahweh CARES for you!!
I'm sorry for your loss, it's not a perfect world and even with the best intentions, we are NOT perfect.
Don't hold things over your head, as a survivor, it is quite normal to feel guilt as it is where none should be.
I am really so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Please do not add useless quilt to your grief.
She watches you now, my friend. She sees you but cannot speak to you. These things will come right in time, for love conquers time as it conquers death. Be at peace.
I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
My Prayers are with you and your family.
If God had meant for you to be with her when she passed, you would have been. Try to take comfort in that.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
MY Condolences on your loss
Prayers for you my FRiend. I hope that your 30+ years together with your wife have been wonderful and you are full of happy memories that will sustain you until your joyous reunion.
May God bless and keep you my FRiend.
Prayers for you and for her soul. Know your wife is in a better place and TALK TO HER...you can still be with her...especially through your children. It will be a long road. Share your grief with your children and loved ones and also take time to celebrate your wife's life. It seems unbearable now...but it can get better but PLEASE...forget the GUILT! That is Satan's work and a very very slippery sloap!
Take care of yourself. Your wife would want you to.
Yahweh must think you are a very strong person. To give you such a burden knowing that you can persevere and lead others to a stronger belief in their God.
I am sorry for the loss of your wife. Celebrate her life. Do not mourn her death.
I am so very sorry. You have my thoughts and prayers.
No one is alone when they die, when they die in the company of God. God is with us who live in Him, and us who die in Him.
May the Peace that passes understanding be with you and in you. It is obvious that your love will not end.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your wife knows your heart.
Take comfort in that. I will keep you in my prayers.
Greek prayers are going out to now. Remember she will always be in your heart.
consider yourself hugged
Prayers for you and your family.
That's very sad. I'm sorry for your loss. Imagining myself in the same situation is overwhelming, so I cannot comprehend what you are going through. But do not be critical of yourself -- while you weren't physically with your wife, I'm sure your thoughts were always on her.
You should be proud. A 30 year marriage is wonderful. You have kept your vow to be married until death and that is increasingly rare. Be sad but do not hate yourself. You sound like a good man and you have been blessed.
WHAT A HORRENDOUS WHAM!
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Glad your wife is out of pain but what a wham to not be there, for you.
However, she knows better than you now, what the real priorities in life and death are. She knew your heart.
We do what we can. We have to trust YAHWEH with the rest of it.
Anyway--God's best comfort, peace, hope, provision, safety, rest, hope . . . HIMSELF to you.
God be with you.
God bless and comfort you Alex. I have not been able to be present when some of my loved ones died. I never blamed myself or anyone else. Be comforted that you shared love and life. Be at peace if you can.
All who believe were with your wife by the millions in spirit when she died.
You still have things that you are needed for on earth.
May the Angels of Paradise lead her into Abraham's Bosom.
May God strengthen and comfort you in the days to come.
My prayers are with both of you.
I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. God bless you.
It is sufficient that you were with her during her life. May G-d comfort you in mourning.
Prayers for you, and for your family in your time of loss.
That's heartbreaking. Prayer bump
I'm sorry for your loss.
"There is a divinity that shapes our ends
Rough-hew them as we will."
We all rough-hew our lives and our relationships with others; but there is an agency which transcends human understanding and polishes the result. One can not be blamed for not knowing the unknowable. May we all find serenity through accepting what we cannot change, courage to move on and continue our rough-hewn endeavours, and wisdom to not blame ourselves in not being able to polish the form of destiny.
Prayers up for you and your family. I understand your frustration, my wife was unable to be with her mother when she died of cancer a couple of weeks ago. (We had no way of knowing when the end would come.)
We all do what we can for our loved ones, even if we can not be perfect and sometimes it seems we can not manage to do enough. Please do not burden yourself with guilt for not being perfect - that particular job was taken long before either of us was born.
Don't beat yourself up. It's normal to feel guilty when someone very close to you dies, but not helpful. There are all the things we could have said, and all the things we could have done..... I didn't get back intime to see my Mom when she died -- I was in denial that she was dying....
She was married to you for 30 years, so I'm sure she understands. She knows that you would have been there had you known, so you have to forgive yourself. She does not want to see you suffer. Give your problems to the Lord & he will help you, by lifting the heavy burden from your shoulders.
LauraleeBraswell; hoagy62; A CA Guy; sarasmom; Billthedrill; SittinYonder; cdtracing; Howlin; Brad's Gramma; Rhiannon; nhoward14; infidel29; MOgirl; dutchess; b4its2late; USMC Veteran; eXe; Nice50BMG; stboz; texasflower; LauraJean; fourscore; Born and Razed in America; Quix; Enterprise; Right Wing Assault; miele man; pbrown; af_vet_1981; sockmonkey; softwarecreator; reagan_fanatic; Tribune7; Corin Stormhands ======
Thank you all for your prayers, your kind words, and your good wishes.
I just spoke to the nurse on duty with Laura. She said Laura sent her after some food, and when she returned she found that Laura had purposely removed her oxygen tube... thereby causing her to quickly suffocate to death !!!
Guess that's what she meant earlier when she said, "That may be too late!" Apparently she had an exit plan !!!
There HAS to be a reason why she was allowed to go Home before you could be there.
And while you are in the mind-twisting/heart breaking agony of guilt, beating yourself up, condemnation of yourself, and abject grief....you WILL hear that Still, Small Voice, whispering to your heart/soul to calm what's raging and storming inside of you.
So very sorry for you. Don't blame youself and always remember the good times.
I am so sorry for your loss. My brother sat by my mom for days and nights and still was not there when she passed. But that is all it is, just like crossing the street, only it's got to be crossed when that particular light is green.
You will see your wife in the great beyond. It is all God's will.
You and your family will be in my prayers.
My heart aches for your loss. I've been married over thirty years, I will hold my husband a little tighter tonight. God keep you.
Socratic; RebelBanker; expatpat; GoLightly; mommadooo3; scottywr; zlala
Thank you all for your prayers, your kind words, and your good wishes !!!
It may simply be that you weren't meant to be there. My dad passed away in January. My mom, my sisters, and I spent that last week tag-teaming in his hospital room. The Lord didn't take him home until after my mom had decided to go home for a few hours. We figure that He didn't want us to be there for the end. The same may be true for you. The Lord may not have wanted you to go through that last moment; especially when she was already in His care.
In short, don't beat yourself up. If the Lord wanted you there, you'd have been there.
You had thirty years and that's what matters, even though you're focused on the last few hours. Sadly, your wife had to go on to a better place because that cancer was making her suffer. I doubt she would want you to suffer over it and I know there was already enough suffering to go around as you all dealt with that disease.
Your wife sounds like she was a very courageous and strong woman.
God is holding you tight in his arms right now.