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"That may be too late!"
GeekDejure | May 3rd, 2005 | GeekDejure

Posted on 05/03/2005 7:36:10 PM PDT by GeekDejure

Hello Freepers... it's Alex (GeekDekure) here...

Laura, my darling wife of 30 wonderful years, has been in the hospital, dying from the devastating effects of severe cancer. I talked to her on the phone at 5:00 this evening. I told her I'd be at her bedside on Wednesday morning at 11:00. In a quiet, muffled, fast breathing voice she said, "That may be too late!"

Later... at 7:45... I received a call from Laura's son, Mark. "Sorry to have to tell you, Alex... Mom died at 7 o'clock !!!"

Freepers... I really feel like a totally useless piece of sh!t. Good grief... I couldn't even be at my wife's bedside when she died !!! Eeeyuch... just another reason for me to hate myself... and no, I surely don't need therapy. I'll live with it privately until I eventually join her in Heaven above !!!

Laura and I are followers of Yahweh (the true Name of the Most High). And despite losing her to the cancerous infestation that finally overtook her ability to survive, I am still convinced that the Force ( Yahweh ) is with us !!!

click...click... Alex (GeekDejure) ;-((


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: cancer; death; yahweh
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1 posted on 05/03/2005 7:36:11 PM PDT by GeekDejure
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To: GeekDejure



I'm so sorry. That's awful.


2 posted on 05/03/2005 7:38:40 PM PDT by LauraleeBraswell ( We must stand behind TOM DELAY!)
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To: GeekDejure

Dude, I grieve with you. But please...don't do anything foolish!

Yahweh CARES for you!!


3 posted on 05/03/2005 7:38:46 PM PDT by hoagy62 (Revolution is now the ONLY option.)
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To: GeekDejure

I'm sorry for your loss, it's not a perfect world and even with the best intentions, we are NOT perfect.

Don't hold things over your head, as a survivor, it is quite normal to feel guilt as it is where none should be.

God Bless.

I am really so sorry for your loss.


4 posted on 05/03/2005 7:40:11 PM PDT by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: GeekDejure

I am so sorry for your loss.
Please do not add useless quilt to your grief.


5 posted on 05/03/2005 7:40:44 PM PDT by sarasmom
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To: GeekDejure

She watches you now, my friend. She sees you but cannot speak to you. These things will come right in time, for love conquers time as it conquers death. Be at peace.


6 posted on 05/03/2005 7:41:16 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: GeekDejure

I'm terribly sorry for your loss.


7 posted on 05/03/2005 7:41:33 PM PDT by SittinYonder (Tancredo and I wanna know what you believe)
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To: GeekDejure

My Prayers are with you and your family.

Chris


8 posted on 05/03/2005 7:42:23 PM PDT by cdtracing
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To: GeekDejure

If God had meant for you to be with her when she passed, you would have been. Try to take comfort in that.


9 posted on 05/03/2005 7:42:47 PM PDT by Howlin (North Carolina, where beer kegs are registered and illegal aliens run free.)
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To: GeekDejure

I'm so sorry for your loss.


10 posted on 05/03/2005 7:43:53 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Yo! Cowboy! I'm praying for a LoganMiracle! It CAN happen!!!!)
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To: GeekDejure

MY Condolences on your loss


11 posted on 05/03/2005 7:44:10 PM PDT by Rhiannon
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To: GeekDejure

Prayers for you my FRiend. I hope that your 30+ years together with your wife have been wonderful and you are full of happy memories that will sustain you until your joyous reunion.


12 posted on 05/03/2005 7:44:34 PM PDT by nhoward14
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To: GeekDejure
I am so truly sorry for your loss... I wish I had something profound to say like "It's God's will...", but you already know that. Don't beat yourself up.

May God bless and keep you my FRiend.

13 posted on 05/03/2005 7:45:40 PM PDT by infidel29 ("It is only the warlike power of a civilized people that can give peace to the world."- T. Roosevelt)
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To: GeekDejure
Hello,

I am so sorry for your loss. You and yours are in my prayers.

MOgirl
14 posted on 05/03/2005 7:48:05 PM PDT by MOgirl (In memory of Walton Wayne Callahan, I love you forever.)
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To: GeekDejure

Prayers for you and for her soul. Know your wife is in a better place and TALK TO HER...you can still be with her...especially through your children. It will be a long road. Share your grief with your children and loved ones and also take time to celebrate your wife's life. It seems unbearable now...but it can get better but PLEASE...forget the GUILT! That is Satan's work and a very very slippery sloap!


15 posted on 05/03/2005 7:48:14 PM PDT by dutchess
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To: GeekDejure

Take care of yourself. Your wife would want you to.


16 posted on 05/03/2005 7:48:24 PM PDT by b4its2late (I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.)
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To: GeekDejure

Yahweh must think you are a very strong person. To give you such a burden knowing that you can persevere and lead others to a stronger belief in their God.

I am sorry for the loss of your wife. Celebrate her life. Do not mourn her death.


17 posted on 05/03/2005 7:49:11 PM PDT by USMC Veteran ("Life is tough. Life is tougher if you're stupid." - John Wayne)
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To: GeekDejure

I am so very sorry. You have my thoughts and prayers.


18 posted on 05/03/2005 7:49:19 PM PDT by eXe (Si vis pacem, para bellum)
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To: GeekDejure

No one is alone when they die, when they die in the company of God. God is with us who live in Him, and us who die in Him.


19 posted on 05/03/2005 7:51:10 PM PDT by Nice50BMG (AB 50 outlaws the use of this tagline in California.)
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To: GeekDejure

May the Peace that passes understanding be with you and in you. It is obvious that your love will not end.


20 posted on 05/03/2005 7:51:54 PM PDT by stboz
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To: GeekDejure

I am so sorry for your loss. Your wife knows your heart.

Take comfort in that. I will keep you in my prayers.

Tammy


21 posted on 05/03/2005 7:53:24 PM PDT by texasflower ("America's vital interests and our deepest beliefs are now one." President George W. Bush 01/20/05)
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To: GeekDejure

Greek prayers are going out to now. Remember she will always be in your heart.

consider yourself hugged


22 posted on 05/03/2005 7:53:27 PM PDT by LauraJean (sometimes I win sometimes I donate to the equine benevolent society)
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To: LauraJean

Prayers for you and your family.


23 posted on 05/03/2005 7:55:24 PM PDT by fourscore (Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness)
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To: GeekDejure

That's very sad. I'm sorry for your loss. Imagining myself in the same situation is overwhelming, so I cannot comprehend what you are going through. But do not be critical of yourself -- while you weren't physically with your wife, I'm sure your thoughts were always on her.

You should be proud. A 30 year marriage is wonderful. You have kept your vow to be married until death and that is increasingly rare. Be sad but do not hate yourself. You sound like a good man and you have been blessed.


24 posted on 05/03/2005 7:57:11 PM PDT by Born and Razed in America (The ninth plague was my first. The shadow of the wolf will forever linger.)
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To: GeekDejure

WHAT A HORRENDOUS WHAM!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Glad your wife is out of pain but what a wham to not be there, for you.

However, she knows better than you now, what the real priorities in life and death are. She knew your heart.

We do what we can. We have to trust YAHWEH with the rest of it.

Anyway--God's best comfort, peace, hope, provision, safety, rest, hope . . . HIMSELF to you.

God be with you.

Prayers,
LUB
Q


25 posted on 05/03/2005 7:57:17 PM PDT by Quix (--AVOID MERE FORM OF GODLINESS; SEEK HIS FACE. WALK IN HIS SPIRIT.)
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To: GeekDejure

God bless and comfort you Alex. I have not been able to be present when some of my loved ones died. I never blamed myself or anyone else. Be comforted that you shared love and life. Be at peace if you can.


26 posted on 05/03/2005 7:57:19 PM PDT by Enterprise (Abortion and "euthanasia" - the twin destroyers of the Democrat Party.)
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To: fourscore

All who believe were with your wife by the millions in spirit when she died.

You still have things that you are needed for on earth.


27 posted on 05/03/2005 7:58:53 PM PDT by Right Wing Assault ("..this administration is planning a 'Right Wing Assault' on values and ideals.." - John Kerry)
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To: GeekDejure

May the Angels of Paradise lead her into Abraham's Bosom.

May God strengthen and comfort you in the days to come.

My prayers are with both of you.


28 posted on 05/03/2005 7:58:54 PM PDT by miele man
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To: GeekDejure

I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. God bless you.


29 posted on 05/03/2005 7:59:33 PM PDT by processing please hold (Islam and Christianity do not mix ----9-11 taught us that)
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To: GeekDejure

It is sufficient that you were with her during her life. May G-d comfort you in mourning.


30 posted on 05/03/2005 8:00:18 PM PDT by af_vet_1981
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To: GeekDejure

Prayers for you, and for your family in your time of loss.


31 posted on 05/03/2005 8:01:36 PM PDT by sockmonkey
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To: GeekDejure
Sorry, man.  Really sorry for your loss.
32 posted on 05/03/2005 8:01:50 PM PDT by softwarecreator (Facts are to liberals as holy water is to vampires)
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To: GeekDejure
For God's sake, don't give up!! Every life (and death) has a purpose. Find strength in your faith in God and know that she no longer suffers so horribly and is now free from the pain!

Youe FReeper friends are here whenever you need them dude!
33 posted on 05/03/2005 8:02:02 PM PDT by reagan_fanatic (It takes all kinds of critters...to make Farmer Vincents fritters)
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To: GeekDejure

That's heartbreaking. Prayer bump


34 posted on 05/03/2005 8:03:14 PM PDT by Tribune7
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To: GeekDejure

I'm sorry for your loss.


35 posted on 05/03/2005 8:03:27 PM PDT by Corin Stormhands (Will work for tagline.)
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To: GeekDejure

"There is a divinity that shapes our ends
Rough-hew them as we will."
—Hamlet v.2.

We all rough-hew our lives and our relationships with others; but there is an agency which transcends human understanding and polishes the result. One can not be blamed for not knowing the unknowable. May we all find serenity through accepting what we cannot change, courage to move on and continue our rough-hewn endeavours, and wisdom to not blame ourselves in not being able to polish the form of destiny.


36 posted on 05/03/2005 8:11:51 PM PDT by Socratic (Ignorant and free? It's not to be. - T. Jefferson (paraphrase))
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To: GeekDejure

Prayers up for you and your family. I understand your frustration, my wife was unable to be with her mother when she died of cancer a couple of weeks ago. (We had no way of knowing when the end would come.)

We all do what we can for our loved ones, even if we can not be perfect and sometimes it seems we can not manage to do enough. Please do not burden yourself with guilt for not being perfect - that particular job was taken long before either of us was born.


37 posted on 05/03/2005 8:13:08 PM PDT by RebelBanker (To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!)
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To: GeekDejure

Don't beat yourself up. It's normal to feel guilty when someone very close to you dies, but not helpful. There are all the things we could have said, and all the things we could have done..... I didn't get back intime to see my Mom when she died -- I was in denial that she was dying....


38 posted on 05/03/2005 8:19:43 PM PDT by expatpat
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To: GeekDejure

She was married to you for 30 years, so I'm sure she understands. She knows that you would have been there had you known, so you have to forgive yourself. She does not want to see you suffer. Give your problems to the Lord & he will help you, by lifting the heavy burden from your shoulders.


39 posted on 05/03/2005 8:20:50 PM PDT by GoLightly
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To: LauraleeBraswell; hoagy62; A CA Guy; sarasmom; Billthedrill; SittinYonder; cdtracing; Howlin; ...

LauraleeBraswell; hoagy62; A CA Guy; sarasmom; Billthedrill; SittinYonder; cdtracing; Howlin; Brad's Gramma; Rhiannon; nhoward14; infidel29; MOgirl; dutchess; b4its2late; USMC Veteran; eXe; Nice50BMG; stboz; texasflower; LauraJean; fourscore; Born and Razed in America; Quix; Enterprise; Right Wing Assault; miele man; pbrown; af_vet_1981; sockmonkey; softwarecreator; reagan_fanatic; Tribune7; Corin Stormhands ======

Thank you all for your prayers, your kind words, and your good wishes.

I just spoke to the nurse on duty with Laura. She said Laura sent her after some food, and when she returned she found that Laura had purposely removed her oxygen tube... thereby causing her to quickly suffocate to death !!!

Guess that's what she meant earlier when she said, "That may be too late!" Apparently she had an exit plan !!!



40 posted on 05/03/2005 8:22:24 PM PDT by GeekDejure (ext)
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To: GeekDejure
Prayers up for you.

There HAS to be a reason why she was allowed to go Home before you could be there.

And while you are in the mind-twisting/heart breaking agony of guilt, beating yourself up, condemnation of yourself, and abject grief....you WILL hear that Still, Small Voice, whispering to your heart/soul to calm what's raging and storming inside of you.

41 posted on 05/03/2005 8:23:43 PM PDT by mommadooo3
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To: GeekDejure

So very sorry for you. Don't blame youself and always remember the good times.


42 posted on 05/03/2005 8:23:54 PM PDT by scottywr (Devious Evil Malevolent Obstructionist Carping Raving Appeasing Thugs)
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To: GeekDejure
I am so sorry for your loss and can understand the depression you must feel. There is little you can do other than honor your wife's life by continuing to be a righteous man. May Yahweh's many blessings be upon you and your family at this time and throughout the future.
43 posted on 05/03/2005 8:26:06 PM PDT by zlala
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To: GeekDejure

I am so sorry for your loss. My brother sat by my mom for days and nights and still was not there when she passed. But that is all it is, just like crossing the street, only it's got to be crossed when that particular light is green.

You will see your wife in the great beyond. It is all God's will.

You and your family will be in my prayers.


44 posted on 05/03/2005 8:30:12 PM PDT by jocon307 (Irish grandmother rolls in grave, yet again.)
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To: GeekDejure
Judging by your response, and your original post, you seem to be handling it well.  Good for you.
45 posted on 05/03/2005 8:30:13 PM PDT by softwarecreator (Facts are to liberals as holy water is to vampires)
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To: GeekDejure

My heart aches for your loss. I've been married over thirty years, I will hold my husband a little tighter tonight. God keep you.


46 posted on 05/03/2005 8:31:11 PM PDT by processing please hold (Islam and Christianity do not mix ----9-11 taught us that)
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To: Socratic; RebelBanker; expatpat; GoLightly; mommadooo3; scottywr; zlala

Socratic; RebelBanker; expatpat; GoLightly; mommadooo3; scottywr; zlala
=======

Thank you all for your prayers, your kind words, and your good wishes !!!


47 posted on 05/03/2005 8:31:55 PM PDT by GeekDejure (ext)
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To: GeekDejure
First, let me say that I'm sorry for your loss. An "early" death stings; even when we know that our loved one is with the Lord. (We become convinced that the world should obey our timetables and too easily forget that the world is on God's timetable.)

It may simply be that you weren't meant to be there. My dad passed away in January. My mom, my sisters, and I spent that last week tag-teaming in his hospital room. The Lord didn't take him home until after my mom had decided to go home for a few hours. We figure that He didn't want us to be there for the end. The same may be true for you. The Lord may not have wanted you to go through that last moment; especially when she was already in His care.

In short, don't beat yourself up. If the Lord wanted you there, you'd have been there.

48 posted on 05/03/2005 8:42:30 PM PDT by Redcloak (But what do I know? I'm just a right-wing nut in his PJs whackin' on a keyboard..)
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To: GeekDejure

You had thirty years and that's what matters, even though you're focused on the last few hours. Sadly, your wife had to go on to a better place because that cancer was making her suffer. I doubt she would want you to suffer over it and I know there was already enough suffering to go around as you all dealt with that disease.


49 posted on 05/03/2005 8:54:21 PM PDT by Williams
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To: GeekDejure

Your wife sounds like she was a very courageous and strong woman.

God is holding you tight in his arms right now.


50 posted on 05/03/2005 8:55:49 PM PDT by texasflower ("America's vital interests and our deepest beliefs are now one." President George W. Bush 01/20/05)
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