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Hugging Ban Sparks Dispute at Ore. School
AP on Yahoo ^ | 5/15/05 | AP

Posted on 05/15/2005 9:14:41 PM PDT by NormsRevenge

BEND, Ore. - Public displays of affection are against the rules at Sky View Middle School in Bend, and 14-year-old Cazz Altomare found that out the hard way.

She got detention earlier this year after hugging her boyfriend in the hallway as he headed to lunch and she went to gym class.

Her mother, Leslee Swanson was infuriated by the punishment — in fact, when she went to pick her daughter up from detention, she gave her a good, hard hug.

"I'm trying to understand what's wrong with a hug," said Swanson, 42.

But administrators said such policies are standard-issue at middle schools across the country.

"Really, all we're trying to do is create an environment that's focused on learning, and learning proper manners is part of that," said Dave Haack, the principal of Cascade Middle School, also in Bend. "This is not us being the romance police."

Students only end up with detention after repeated warnings, he said.

Outside Pilot Butte Middle School on a recent lunch break, two seventh-grade girls said they disagreed with the school's policies.

"I think we should be able to hold hands or hug at least," Annie Wilson, 12, told The Bulletin in Bend. "Because it's not doing anything bad."

Others are more in favor of the rule, like Christina Barackman, 13, also a Pilot Butte seventh-grader.

"I think they're nice to keep boundaries for kids," she said.

Schools need to define and actively teach what they do want to see in student behavior, said Rob Horner, a University of Oregon professor who works with schools across the nation on "building social culture that supports effective learning."

"To say 'no hugging' really blows it," Horner said. "That's exactly the sort of trap that, as soon as you say that, what is the first thing everyone is going to want to do?"

At home after school on a recent afternoon, Cazz, the Sky View student, described the no-hug rule as "dumb."

"Hugging is like a sign of affection," she said.

Her mother has told her that if she likes Sky View and wants to stay at the school, she'll have to abide by the rules.

But Swanson, the mother, said she wonders if a hugging ban would fly in a more metropolitan place.

For her, this is a politically charged issue.

"The more people blindly accept these fundamental rights being taken away from them, the easier it becomes for them to be taken away," Swanson said.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; US: Oregon
KEYWORDS: ban; bend; discipline; dispute; education; hugging; oregon; pda; romancepolice; school; sparks; zerotolerance
..administrators said such policies are standard-issue at middle schools across the country.

"Really, all we're trying to do is create an environment that's focused on learning, and learning proper manners is part of that," said Dave Haack, the principal of Cascade Middle School, also in Bend. "This is not us being the romance police."

----

such policies are standard-issue?

1 posted on 05/15/2005 9:14:42 PM PDT by NormsRevenge
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To: NormsRevenge

Well, if one sees how some of 'em "hug" and where the hands go during the hug......


2 posted on 05/15/2005 9:16:58 PM PDT by GummyIII ("Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.")
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To: NormsRevenge

If non-heteros did it, the school would applaud/celebrate it.


3 posted on 05/15/2005 9:17:18 PM PDT by Stellar Dendrite (How soon will the U.S.A. be U.S.S.A.?)
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To: NormsRevenge

We need to get rid of public schools, bad.


4 posted on 05/15/2005 9:19:45 PM PDT by tahotdog
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To: Stellar Dendrite

My, my. Schools teach sex education and then won't let the students try it out. How rude. Maybe they should dis-allow both.


5 posted on 05/15/2005 9:23:09 PM PDT by pacpam (action=consequence applies in all cases)
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To: NormsRevenge

I'm glad such a policy is in place. Imagine all the things that might end up happening if two teenagers were allowed to hold hands while walking to school nurse's office to pick up their free condoms.


6 posted on 05/15/2005 9:23:29 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack
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To: NormsRevenge
Wow. A policy that actually makes sense.

And in a government run school no less. What's this world coming to.

7 posted on 05/15/2005 9:25:19 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Leftists would have no standards at all)
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To: NormsRevenge

They're always bitching about not having the resources to teach the basics, yet they have time for this crap.


8 posted on 05/15/2005 9:32:47 PM PDT by Darkwolf (aka Darkwolf377 (lurker since'01, member since 4/'04)--stop clogging me with pings!)
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To: NormsRevenge

Beware "zero-tolerance". Hate it, fear it, destroy it.


9 posted on 05/15/2005 9:33:36 PM PDT by SteveMcKing
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To: NormsRevenge

PC is turning this country into a repressive socialistic and aetheistic regime.


10 posted on 05/15/2005 9:39:25 PM PDT by citizencon
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To: NormsRevenge

It's no wonder kids leave school thinking that rules are made to be broken. They have parents who keep telling them that the rules aren't for them. These parents need to get a life.


11 posted on 05/15/2005 9:50:06 PM PDT by taxesareforever
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To: NormsRevenge
Liberal hypocrisy. Hey, I thought libs believed in making love, not war. I guess the only hugs verboten are of the heterosexual variety. Its dangerous for kids to see opposite sex affection as normal and natural.

(Denny Crane: "Sometimes you can only look for answers from God and failing that... and Fox News".)
12 posted on 05/15/2005 9:54:39 PM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: NormsRevenge

Oh how they crave for the Taliban. Come hither women, don ye Burqa.

Of all the trash in schools, they waste time on hugs. How very lame. Time to ban Valentines day card giving next - some of those WWF variety pack cards are *racy*.

Zero tolerance: because the world is black and white, and thinking is hard anyway.


13 posted on 05/15/2005 9:54:40 PM PDT by Atheist_Canadian_Conservative
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To: NormsRevenge

Are friendly hugs banned as well? I know that when my girlfriends and I see each other we often hug, but it is in a sisterly way. I completely agree with any kissing ban, I saw two lesbian's making out at my high-school once, and it was extremely disturbing.


14 posted on 05/15/2005 9:59:12 PM PDT by Celtic Rose (It may be prudent in me to act sometimes by other men's reason, but I can think only by my own)
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To: NormsRevenge

Wouldn't it be nice if parents actually took their kids to school with them after they were disciplined, and supported the schools side of things. Even if they disagree with the policy, just support the school, then talk things over with the principal on the sly.


15 posted on 05/15/2005 10:12:22 PM PDT by jeremiah (Is it not treason, to allow the flow of illegals to be unchecked?)
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To: NormsRevenge

such policies are standard-issue?


I see, sell drugs in the parking lot, but don't dare get caught hugging. I could think of a few hundred other things that would be a higher priority to ban.


16 posted on 05/15/2005 10:15:57 PM PDT by conshack ((Illegal immigration is the #1 threat to Homeland Security))
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To: NormsRevenge

Students that age have absolutely no business "hugging" someone of the opposite sex. Courtship is the proper dating option and these students are too young to be involved in Courtship, since it should only be practiced as a precursor to possible marriage.


17 posted on 05/15/2005 10:18:42 PM PDT by politicket (We now live in a society where "tolerance" is celebrated at the expense of moral correctness.)
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To: NormsRevenge
"I'm trying to understand what's wrong with a hug," said Swanson, 42.

Others are more in favor of the rule, like Christina Barackman, 13, also a Pilot Butte seventh-grader. "I think they're nice to keep boundaries for kids," she said.

Interesting that a 13 year old can identify the reasoning behind the rule when the 42 year old cannot. The objection to this rule is just a further example of the breakdown of the distinctions between public and private behavior, which the left has promoted---the death of civility. I am a young woman, but when out and about these days, I am often taken aback by the public behavior of teenagers. They're simply not taught to have a public presence for the benefit of other people. There are many exceptions, of course, but for the most part it seems they have been encouraged to be selfish and self-centered individuals with little concept of decency, much less community.

18 posted on 05/15/2005 10:22:24 PM PDT by newsworthy (Culture is the engine of history.)
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To: taxesareforever
Yep. The time for the parents to protest school policy is before their kid gets caught.
19 posted on 05/15/2005 10:26:11 PM PDT by robertpaulsen
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Comment #20 Removed by Moderator

Comment #21 Removed by Moderator

To: F15Eagle

... but here's some condoms so you don't get pregnant ...


22 posted on 05/16/2005 11:46:04 AM PDT by jfreif (oh, you're a democrat? How cute...)
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To: NormsRevenge
such policies are standard-issue?

What I think he means by that is that schools subscribe to policy "services," which keep abreast of the latest federal law/state law/caselaw regarding education and update policies to keep them in place. HOWEVER, school boards (such as the one I am a member of), have to review and approve these policies. And, there has to be common sense in the approval AND implementation.
23 posted on 05/16/2005 1:51:45 PM PDT by pleasedontzotme
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To: taxesareforever
It's no wonder kids leave school thinking that rules are made to be broken. They have parents who keep telling them that the rules aren't for them.

From the article:

Her mother has told her that if she likes Sky View and wants to stay at the school, she'll have to abide by the rules.

So, she's said, you have to abide by the rules, but nothing wrong with complaining about rules you disagree with. Isn't that what our country's supposed to be founded on? Follow the rules, but speak up when you see something you believe is unjust?
24 posted on 05/16/2005 1:53:19 PM PDT by pleasedontzotme
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Comment #25 Removed by Moderator

To: pleasedontzotme

Then why didn't she speak up at the beginning of the school year when the rules were given to everyone? That is a copout.


26 posted on 05/16/2005 3:36:38 PM PDT by taxesareforever
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To: taxesareforever

I see.

Were you complaining about taxes before you paid them?

It would be nice to think we all pore through the plethora of regulations that govern our every move. We know that's not the case and we don't take things up until they affect us personally.

She was affected negatively by a regulation. She's complaining about it. Maybe she'll get it changed, maybe she won't, but at least people are having a discussion about it.

Including us. :)


27 posted on 05/16/2005 7:52:56 PM PDT by pleasedontzotme
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To: pleasedontzotme

She wasn't complaining about it, she was bitching about it. How else do you explain the hug she gave her kid as she totes her into the school and makes a scene.

Did I complain about taxes before I started paying for them? No. I did not know what taxes were about until I started paying them. When I found out, I complained. I did not throw a hizzy fit, stomp up and down and demand that they be done away with. I just sanction taxation that is done equitably such as a flat tax. Quite the difference then thowing out a law and opening the door to groping.:)


28 posted on 05/16/2005 8:22:04 PM PDT by taxesareforever
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To: Abram; Annie03; Baby Bear; bassmaner; Bernard; BJClinton; BlackbirdSST; blackeagle; BroncosFan; ...
Libertarian ping.To be added or removed from my ping list freepmail me or post a message here
29 posted on 05/18/2005 7:02:22 AM PDT by freepatriot32 (If you want to change government support the libertarian party www.lp.org)
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To: NormsRevenge
When I went to school, it was the girls who made and enforced the "no hugging" rule. ;)
30 posted on 05/18/2005 7:04:24 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("Violence never settles anything." Genghis Khan, 1162-1227)
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To: NormsRevenge
"The more people blindly accept these fundamental rights being taken away from them, the easier it becomes for them to be taken away," Swanson said.


31 posted on 05/18/2005 7:08:33 AM PDT by freepatriot32 (If you want to change government support the libertarian party www.lp.org)
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To: GummyIII
Well, if one sees how some of 'em "hug" and where the hands go during the hug......

Bingo

32 posted on 05/18/2005 7:10:42 AM PDT by Protagoras (Evolution is amazing, I wonder who invented it?)
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