Posted on 06/19/2005 12:25:50 AM PDT by freedom44
At the time, we now learn in her new best-seller, Down Came the Rain, Shields was clawing her way out of a bout of postpartum depression that at one point made her suicidal. Shields—who was as vulnerable to the cult of motherhood as anyone—gets credit for confessing that she neither loved nor desired her new baby and for taking a little air out of the image of rapturous new motherhood. If only she didn't feel compelled to write herself a post postpartum Hollywood ending.
"I had always imagined that birth would be the closest thing to grace I'd ever experience," Shields writes with an earnestness that pervades the book. But graceful it was not. Following seven rounds of in vitro fertilization, she underwent 24 hours of labor followed by a grisly emergency C-section. Out came baby Rowan. She is beautiful, healthy—and, to Shields' shock, not what she wants. Shields pads around her Manhattan apartment feeling fat, miserable, and whiny and longing to escape into long hot showers while someone else—anyone else—tends to the baby. She can't bear the smell of baby powder. She doesn't seem to like her daughter. "I wasn't afraid she was too fragile," she writes. "I just felt no desire to pick her up." At her lowest moment, Shields considers driving her car into a wall. She also imagines her daughter "flying through the air and hitting the wall in front of me … the wall morphed into a video game, and in it her little body smacked the surface and slid down onto the floor."
(Excerpt) Read more at slate.msn.com ...
I can't imagine who wouldn't want to read a book about the latest twists and turns of Brooke Shield's mental state.
Aw, gee, while I wait for the link to load to read the rest of why the poor baby didn't immediately fall down and worship Brooke, let us all get a clue?
When you have a baby, it is no longer about you, but about them. This does come as a shock to some women, unfortunately for their babies.
Brooke Shields sounds like a feminine hygiene product.
I like that liberals can't reproduce well. That's a very good thing.
"Thanks, mom."
Booo Freakin' Whoo!
Poor little starlet, turned star, turned Mom didn't quite understand that her priviledged, look-at-me life doesn't extend beyond the birth of a child.
It always astounds me to see people that fail to understand that our WHOLE purpose on this Earth is to procreate and rear the next generation. EVERYTHING we do is supposed to be with that highest goal of life in mind.
It makes me sick when I see these Hollyweird types acting like a child is some sort of rung on the celebrity ladder.
Grrrrr!
Hey Steve - who is the shields broad yer talkin' about? Is she important?
Stay well, pal...............FRegards
Cleel writes: Poor little starlet, turned star, turned Mom didn't quite understand that her priviledged, look-at-me life doesn't extend beyond the birth of a child
Have either of you given birth? Did you experience problems afterward? Many of us do. I was very anxious following the birth of my first son. I took very good care of him because that is what adults do with babies, but I had no feelings for him one way or another for months.
It is largely because women have shared their experiences with post-partum depression that I was able to deal with it in a healthy way. I was able to reassure myself that my feelings were normal, probably the result of hormones, and that I needed to make an effort to relax when feeling panicky and get outside in the sunshine and take a walk. I knew to stay in touch with my family (all long distance), lean on my husband and be aware of whether or not I was feeling better as time passed.
It's a shame you see this as self indulgent whining. I'm glad she's talking. It might help someone else.
Please see post 10. (for some reason I couldn't add your name to the "to" box directly. Sorry!)
I remember reading somewhere that what we call post-partum depression might have actually been the norm in early humans. Mothers were naturally disinclined to get emotionally attached to children for their first few months of life because there was such a high chance the baby would die. That began to dissipate as infant mortality declined, at least according to that article.
Someday Rowan will get old enough to read this crap. Then she'll really have a reason to be depressed.
Thanks for stating such. There are many women I've met (some in my own family) that have suffered a non-emotionally charged relationship with their children at times. It can be especially hard on a mother if she has a "needy" child demanding more attention.
A priest reminded me this weekend that we all have a cross to bear. I pray such passion paves the road to calvary and ultimate Glory, but mostly I should pray for the strength to support this Faith. I don't know, nor will I ever know such a burden as being a mother; but, I hope one day to love as such.
It took Betty Ford's revelation about her alcoholism to wake the public up to the fact that the rich and famous can be drunks and need help. Maybe Brooke Shields' account of her postpartum depression will educate people to its very real horrors. Those sad cases where mothers kill their children and then dial 911 are incomprehensible to most. The legal system treats them like any other killer, which is wrong. They're crazy due to chemical/hormonal imbalance, and the legal system should come to some sensible way to handle this.
As a sidebar, if men suffered postpartum depression and horrible menstrual cramps that can and sometimes do equal the pain of a heart attack, a cure would have been found a long time ago as well as legal ramifications dealt with sensibly.
My mother's family had to hide all the knives in the house after she gave birth to her first child. This condition is more widespread than you'd believe, and it's likely that many tragedies have been averted by families and loved ones who recognized what was going on and took action. Nobody talks about it because it's shameful. (Like most mental problems.) God. If postpartum depression evinced itself as blisters or a broken leg, people wouldn't be so humiliated and frightened. (If you can actually see an injury, then it's real.)
More likely, someday if Rowan has a child herself and goes through this as many women do, it will help her to understand that she's not alone and can get help for it.
I never thought she was much to look at.
~ You aren't kidding ~
Excellent post, Dianna.
Good point. I defer.
Interesting.
"Maybe the dingo ate your baby?"
Thanks for your comment.
Post partum depression is a real thing. I have not experienced it, but I know women who have.
The above is "classic feminist" claptrap. Women comprise the largest consumer group in the USA; in essence, they drive the market.
Post-partum depression isn't about that. Even the best moms can get it.
I have questioned the "post-partum" syndrome all my life; seeing how it has been used repeatedly to excuse murder of babies.
No. I don't really believe certain special interest groups wish to genuinely explore post-partum depression.
While I absolutely will agree that a very, very, very small portion of female population will suffer direly as a result of the changes in hormones post-birth; it is NOT a rampant problem.
A far more rampant problem, post-birth is sleep deprivation, and the sheer demands of meeting the needs of a newborn.
Well hey, at least Brooke put the verbal smackdown on Tom Cruise and his Scientology babblings lately. Cruise (as most have probably heard) was bashing Shields for being on antidepressant medications, and Shields responded by saying that she would be happy to leave tickets for Cruise and his 15-years-his-junior new girlfriend Katy Holmes to see her show, "one adult ticket, one child".
Say what you will, THAT was a freakin KNEEslapper! :)
With her economic status, at least she could've hired some help. BTW, get some unscented baby powder, Brooke!
I suffered a normal post-partum, but my daughter suffered a tendentious post-partum, not as extreme as Ms. Shields, but certainly somewhat debillatating. The main reason for my daughter's was sleep deprivation, and realizing the responsibility of motherhood. I warned and warned prior to my granddaughter's birth, but nothing prepares you, and you never know if you will suffer from the malady.
Like everything else "feminist/actresses" Brooke Shields probably suffered it in a more dramatic way. Yes, she was spoiled and unprepared, but it doesn't make it any less real.
Signed, someone who never dreamed she'd be defending Brooke Shields.
Particularly with sentences like "Shields pads around her Manhattan apartment..."
Interesting. I hadn't heard that she had been on antidepressant medications. Of course, if one trends towards depression, in general.. well.
Happy Father's Day.
Leni
I don't think very many women post-birth harm their babies. But the ones who have harmed their babies (and children) -- get light sentences (if any) based upon a so-called "syndrome". This "syndrome" or that "syndrome".
This follows upon the tenets of basic feminism (and its allied organizations): the conventional PC wisdom is that "Men are evil and women have "syndromes".
I'm not doubting that Ms. Shields had PPD or that it exists. Of course, I have no first-hand knowledge of what it's like, since I don't have children. It's just that she has the luxury of being financially more stable than most people, and with that, able to hire more support people to take some of the burden off her. I've known many new mothers who can't even bathe for days at a time because they just can't hand the baby off to a nanny or other caregiver.
I explain; just to prevent any hysteria at my post: On-demand nursing is TOUGH work. The milk product is finer, and therefore babies tend to "sup" more often. Whereas formula babies tend to sleep at longer stretches during the early months of life. Of course, we can all "go to town" on bashing those evil "males" who don't get up to feed the baby during the night feedings; but I find that to be counterproductive and anti-educational.
Here we've got a senator (Durbin) claiming that sleep deprivation due the "loud music" constitutes human cruelty. New, first-time mothers greatly benefit when the wee bairn is born and loving help is nearby. Whether it's a night bottle, and afternoon bottle; or to pick up the slack in re housework, meals, older children.
Another factor I've found contributing to the "post-partum" -- is new mother pretending to think all other aspects of her life should be exactly as they were before the birth: committments, housecleaning, etc. (The Supermom "myth"). Ergo, she maintains a standard for herself that is unrealistic, and she blames herself as a failure because she is still adjusting to the fact that "babies cry" (is due her failure as a "mother"?) and other parts of her life might just have to take a back sit for a while.
P.S. I'm not at all for laws mandating "mother helpers" under MEDICAL HEALTHCARE. I do counsel couples to make adjustments -- to do what works best for their family" and regardless of "expert" advice on this, that, or the other. Be gentle with each other.
This girl is an example of what I believe is a wierd modern day phenomenon. While she is pretty she can't act, dance, sing yet she is well known. Kind of the Zsa Zsa Gabor of our time. Ms. Shields is currently selling cars on TV.
Addendum: In re sleep deprivation -- majority of mothers do get used to "sleep deprivation" and learn to survive it quite well; taking power naps, etc. It is something one adjusts to. Granted, there are some who might never adjust. Most all women, with their first born are coming from a place of having more or less "control over their lives" and their sleep. Having a baby changes that. It can be quite a shock. But by baby two (etc), you know the drill; you know what to expect; you know better how to cope; how to ask for help; how to receive and accept help from family and friends. (Hopefully...).
Now that I think further on the lady I guess it can be summarized by saying: there is no known reason for her beyond the fact she is just there.
We got it straightened out, and she ended up nursing for a year. She just had her second, and she noticed that she went to the "place" occasionally during "let-down". This time she was aware of where she was in terms of knowing how to nurse, and being able to identify when she was slipping, so she's been able to pull herself out before sinking. It's very much hormone related, at least in her case. The first child was a girl, and this one is a boy.
Being a first time mother is very daunting, but obviously she pulled herself together, as she decided to have another. :)
Signed, a VERY proud grandma, and a member of the silly grandmother's club
Ya gotta love her for that alone. I've had it up to here with Hollywood Scientologists, especially Cruise, who has got to be the most self-absorbed of the bunch (and that's saying a lot, considering that Scientology IS about self-absorption).
My daughter is a mom. When she was a baby, she had colic; and her first child had colic. We now make jokes about the feelings we both had. We also recognize that our great, entire love for our kids prevented us from acting on some of those momentary, extreme emotions. We joke about there being NO excuse for child abuse because we have each experienced a moment of EXTREEEEME FRUSTRATION but were able to OVERCOME the thought.
I never told her how I felt until I saw her feeling the same thing: I didn't want her to feel unloved.
(BTW: Both of us have mothers who helped us through the tough times.)
My maternal great grandmother suffered PPD after the birth of her fourth child. This was around 1910. She was placed into a mental institution and quietly forgotten about--not uncommon in those days. My grandmother, her daughter, was placed with another family, and was told that her mother had passed away. When, as an adult, she found out her mother was still alive she sought her out and found her still confined to the institution, playing the piano and organ for patients' church meetings on Sundays and otherwise quite normal and very much sane.
So, I don't doubt PPD is real. Many women have certainly suffered over the years, suffering exacerbated in some cases (such as my great grandmother's case) by ignorance about how to treat it. On the other hand, the modern feminist culture seems to delight in puffing up the problem as being far more widespread than it really is. There is power in claiming victimhood, and it suits the feminists' purpose to play up childbirth as an evil male conspiracy to keep women miserable and in bondage. Because feminists overreach, they unfairly make less credible true and genuine instances of PPD suffering.
The father is mentioned later in the article. He is writer Chris Henchy.
If Brooke Shields' mental state were a roadway, a 1969 Jaguar XKE wouldn't be able to hold the corners.
I was 1 day late in the birth of my first grandchild -- the craziness had set in already. I shut the door, sent the nurses away (they weren't too pleased with me), sent my daughter to sleep, took care of my grandbaby. Daughter awakened much more fresh and in control of her emotions. And for the first 3 weeks of life, I got up and kept her company for all the feedings (24-hours). Did the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and educating. (Daddy was deployed to mid-east). We did so much giggling together during those night feeds.. :).
By 4th week, I began pulling back on getting up and keeping her and baby company during the night feedings. And taught her "expressing" (and debunking the worst excesses of the PC crap against formula) so that I could take at least one feeding during the day, in particular so she could sleep. Why? I was trying to help her learn how resilient her body can be in sleeping when it needs to sleep; as opposed to sleeping ONLY at night. As she adjusted, she was able to handle 100% nursing very, very well. This is what she wished to do: breastfeed. She'd had a hard emerg C-section. But, without some help and rest -- she was going to have a very sorry memory of the first new weeks of life. And possibly acquire a negative attitude, and whine. She just needed some sensible help and support. (Getting accustomed to "sleep deprivation" with a natural birth is hard enough -- even harder when a mother's had surgery in giving birth).
Sign me also a looney member of the silly grandmother's club!
As an insensitive man, I have never liked other people's newborns and I barely tolerated my own. But, once they started relating to me, everything changed. Maybe it's a man thing.
With women, it's supposed to be different. A baby pops out and they are automatically supposed to feel True Love.
Well, both my sister and a co-worker had post-partum depression and it wasn't working out that way for them. Hormones do strange things to the human brain.
For my sister, the worst part of the whole thing was the guilt........."What kind of horrible mother does not love her baby, etc., etc."
My co-worker, on the other hand, looked at things rather clinically. She knew that such a way of thinking can happen in post-partum depression, she assumed she would love her kid just fine in the future (she was correct) and she did not allow herself or anybody else to lay a guilt trip on her about how her brain was functioning at the time.
The value of a famous person writing about such things is that it brings this very real medical condition out in the open where it can be discussed. A future sufferer can then realize that, no, she is not a horrible mother but is only suffering from a relatively common, biological induced psychological state that is no more shameful than babbling absurdities when you have deliriums during a high fever.
I am not knocking her for post-partum depression. I am knocking her for her (typical) Hollyweird obsession with making herself the center of the universe by writing a book about it.
Her daughter will read this tripe one day... I hope she is suitably pissed.
I'll bet YOU didn't write a book about your experiences.
'if men suffered postpartum depression and horrible menstrual cramps that can and sometimes do equal the pain of a heart attack, a cure would have been found a long time ago as well as legal ramifications dealt with sensibly.'
BS!, More victimhood. If true, why would heart attacks still cause pain? Men have them more often, you'd think this male dominated society that keeps women down would have fixed this by now. You made a good first point then ruin the post with this crap. Chemical/hormone imbalance?
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