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OUTRAGED AMNESTY INTL EXECS CLAIM FEEDING SADDAM DORITOS SAME AS CAPITAL PUNISHMENT (HUMOR!!!!)
Iconoclast ^ | Marni Malarkey

Posted on 06/21/2005 10:59:57 AM PDT by clintonbaiter

LONDON -- Amnesty International has released its most searing attack on the United States yet, with its newest report, "Treatment of Saddam Hussein in Prison: Slow Death by Junk Food."

Amnesty's Secretary General, Irene Khan, issued the report this morning, calling reports that Saddam Hussein is being given Doritos and Cheetos in prison "more proof of U.S. torture, cruelty, and inhumane and barbaric treatment of detainees throughout the world."

Khan cited the feeding of junk food to Saddam as "a desire on the part of the United States to get him addicted to high-fat and high-calorie food, in order to make him morbidly obese and give him high-cholesterol and clogged arteries, in turn in order to kill him with heart disease. Then, the Bush administration will be able to say that Saddam died of 'natural causes,' when in fact, they had orchestrated this all along. It's very, very clever and evil, reminiscent of the medical experiments Dr.Mengele used to perform on Jewish children during the Second World War."

Khan also cited Saddam's refusal to eat Froot Loops as proof that the dictator was "at least strong enough to resist some of the sick, vile treatment imposed on him by the young soldiers guarding him. Oh, that people so young could already be so twisted! It's just more of an indication of the kind of heartless, evil overlords American society creates. Imagine offering him Froot Loops! You might as well perform vivisection on him, for God's sake! Froot Loops! When there are so many wonderful, healthy cereals out there -- Cream of Wheat, Shredded Wheat, Red River Cereal, to name but three" ....

(Excerpt) Read more at iconoclast.ca ...


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Editorial; Extended News; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; United Kingdom
KEYWORDS: amnesty; headlines; idiots
Expect just such an anti-American diatribe from the self-righteous Amnesty prigs any day now.

Warning, though. The above is just a PARODY news item from Iconoclast!

1 posted on 06/21/2005 10:59:57 AM PDT by clintonbaiter
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To: clintonbaiter

More likely a reaction to a diet of human livers.


2 posted on 06/21/2005 11:03:55 AM PDT by battlegearboat
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To: clintonbaiter
Dangerously Cheesy

;-)

3 posted on 06/21/2005 11:05:02 AM PDT by Minnesoootan
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To: clintonbaiter

Does it really matter that this is a parody when A.I. is such a colossal joke?


4 posted on 06/21/2005 11:07:13 AM PDT by kromike
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To: clintonbaiter

We are no better than Castro. Whoopsie! I meant Hitler.


5 posted on 06/21/2005 11:09:37 AM PDT by RedRover (Yeah, buddy.)
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To: clintonbaiter

Actually, all jokes aside, it bothers me that this man who directed the rape of 12 year old girls in front of their parents as political leverage, cut off the nose and ears of children, and/or starved entire villages to death is humanized in any way. I heard one news story that Saddam was giving the men advice on women. That's ridiculous behavior. Especially by the military instructed to guard him. Perhaps someone might want to send them a picture of their little sister as a reminder. Or their daughter.


6 posted on 06/21/2005 11:12:33 AM PDT by Hi Heels (Guns kill and cause crime? Dang, mine must be malfunctioning....)
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To: clintonbaiter

Saddam's refusal to eat Froot Loops.

He's just not a sweets kind of guy.


7 posted on 06/21/2005 11:15:23 AM PDT by handy old one (It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. Aristotle)
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To: clintonbaiter

At least they're not feeding him Cheetos. Excessive consumption of Cheetos could turn his penis orange!


8 posted on 06/21/2005 11:21:16 AM PDT by MarineBrat (We are taxed twice as much by our idleness. -- Benjamin Franklin)
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To: clintonbaiter
..Call P.E.T.A. ! Saddam eating Chicken & fish...Oh!, The Humanity! :D
9 posted on 06/21/2005 11:32:38 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you :^)
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To: clintonbaiter
Depends. Are they Cool Ranch?

Damned If I Know

10 posted on 06/21/2005 11:33:56 AM PDT by sharktrager (My life is like a box of chocolates, but someone took all the good ones.)
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To: MarineBrat
At least they're not feeding him Cheetos. Excessive consumption of Cheetos could turn his penis orange!

I guess that depends on what he is doing while eating them!!

11 posted on 06/21/2005 11:39:08 AM PDT by jws3sticks (Hillary can take a very long walk on a very short pier, anytime, and the sooner the better!)
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To: sharktrager

12 posted on 06/21/2005 11:40:18 AM PDT by easonc52
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To: clintonbaiter

Feed him spam instead.


13 posted on 06/21/2005 11:47:15 AM PDT by lilylangtree
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To: clintonbaiter

Word has it that they fed him those "WOW!" fat-free Doritos without telling him. He downed a whole bag in one sitting, and for hours he couldn't get farther than five feet from his toilet for fear he might not make it back in time.


14 posted on 06/21/2005 11:51:04 AM PDT by mcg1969
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To: clintonbaiter

Yes, but we haven't made him listen to Christina Aguilera (yet.)


15 posted on 06/21/2005 11:54:27 AM PDT by Malesherbes
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To: easonc52

A new classic!


16 posted on 06/21/2005 11:56:38 AM PDT by GVnana
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To: MarineBrat

I think one of the guards said Cheetos were his original favorite, but then he changed to Doritos.


17 posted on 06/21/2005 11:58:48 AM PDT by GVnana
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To: clintonbaiter

I wonder if he gets to smoke cigars in his cell. If so, he has more freedom than I do (in that regard, anyway).....


18 posted on 06/21/2005 12:03:56 PM PDT by clintonh8r (Liberals preach comity and practice calumny.)
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To: clintonbaiter

I know this is parody, but it sounds as though it came right out of legitimate news reports. I wouldn't be surprised at all to hear just such rubbish from Am-Nasty Int'l.


19 posted on 06/21/2005 12:08:48 PM PDT by Space Wrangler
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To: clintonbaiter

"..... feeding the prisoner FrootLoops in a fashion reminicent of Ghengihis Khan ....."


20 posted on 06/21/2005 12:15:30 PM PDT by GaltMeister (“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”)
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To: Space Wrangler

Absolutely. That's why this is some GREAT parody, because it sounds so very close to most of the crap that gets blown in the ... ahem....'real' press.


21 posted on 06/21/2005 1:02:57 PM PDT by WireAndWood (But first, the tranya. I hope that you relish it as much as I.)
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To: clintonbaiter

>>Cream of Wheat, Shredded Wheat, Red River Cereal, ...<<

... Grape Nuts, Mueslix, ...


22 posted on 06/21/2005 1:23:20 PM PDT by dangus
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To: clintonbaiter

You can't parody these people.
I heard last night that they were considering it torture to make Guantanamo prisoners listen to Mariah Carey.
(OK, her voice COULD torture dogs.)


23 posted on 06/21/2005 1:24:25 PM PDT by dangus
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To: MarineBrat

It took me a second to get that joke. My sister really DID turn orange (hands, face, etc...) from consuming too much Vitamin A.


24 posted on 06/21/2005 1:26:09 PM PDT by dangus
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To: Malesherbes

Umm... ping to #19.


25 posted on 06/21/2005 1:27:04 PM PDT by dangus
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To: Malesherbes

Ooops... sprry, I meant ping to #23.


26 posted on 06/21/2005 1:27:34 PM PDT by dangus
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To: clintonh8r

I hear he smokes ciggies in his cell.


27 posted on 06/21/2005 1:37:55 PM PDT by jincarolina
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To: clintonbaiter

I admit a particular fondness for Doritos myself.


28 posted on 06/21/2005 8:30:26 PM PDT by Ciexyz (Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
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