Eleven holes-in-one in a single round... ("Dear Leader")

Yahoo / Reuters ^ | Aug 2 2005

[LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget]

SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korea's Dear Leader Kim Jong-il never forgets a phone number, a cadre's career or a line of computer code.

According to an article posted Tuesday on a Web site run by North Korea, Kim wakes up early every day for intensive memory training where he sits down and commits to his keen mind items such as the phone numbers of workers in his Stalinist state.

"I remember all computer codes and telephones that workers are using now," Kim was quoted as saying on the Web Site "Uri-Min-jok-kiri" (www.uriminzokkiri.dprkorea.com), or "Among our People."

Kim surprised a group of North Korean officials attending a meeting in 2002 by recalling all their phone numbers "with lightning speed," the site said.

On a day Kim visited a cemetery, he looked around at the tombs and he remembered the achievements, characteristics, tastes and bereaved family members for hundreds of the dead by a quick glance at the names on tombstones, it said.

"All the attendants were surprised at his incredible memory," the site says.

North Korean propaganda is ripe with the amazing achievements of its Dear Leader. The highly controlled state also closely monitors its citizens to make sure they do not speak out against Kim or challenge his rule.

Kim pilots jet fighters, pens operas, produces movies and accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played.

The Web Site said Kim told all workers they should develop their ability to memorize. "The memory of a person gets better when a person uses their brain often," he was quoted as saying.

[MikefromOhio]

http://www.keele.ac.uk/socs/ks35/kim_jong_il.jpg

This could explain why he is soooo ronery

[nuffsenuff]

Is this satire?

[MikefromOhio]

let me try that one again



Ahhh preview is our FRiend....

[flashbunny]

The same Kim Jong-il that gets scores 18 holes-in-one when he goes out golfing?

"Oh, illustrious leader, your memory is so great"...said while some stone carver is furiously working to change the names on the headstones to what the great leader said they are.

[JRios1968]

But can he dress?

[LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget]

Funny Ping

[sargunner]

Perhaps if we provided him with more holes, he could improve his golf score even more.

[dead]

[smonk]

. . . and he's 11 feet tall and invisible.

[I see my hands]

---

First of all, this idiot.. .. Umm sorry, I lost my train of thought.

---

[null and void]

Is this satire?

No, and even suggesting that it is could be very bad for your health, citizen...

[caver]

Geez, what are these North Korean writers smoking anyway? Not only do they expect the captive North Koreans to believe their propaganda but they expect the rest of the world to also.

[Tallguy]

Kim pilots jet fighters, pens operas, produces movies and accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played.

Tubby-boy would faint at about 2 gees and put-put scores don't count in the PGA. Maybe he should challenge Tiger to some match play if he's so good? As for the operas & movies, the mind shudders.

[rabidralph]

LOL! Heh-rro!

[nuffsenuff]

WHAT?

This is NOT a joke?

They really tell people this guy shot 11 Aces in ONE round?

[agere_contra]

He put on one of his shows for Halfbright, didn't he?

[GiveEmDubya]

accomplished a feat unmatched by many 10 year-olds across America in the annals of professional mini-golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the seventy-first round he ever played.

[The G Man]

Yeah, and here's a picture of his wife!

Yeah, that's the ticket!

[PAR35]

I remember all computer codes and telephones that workers are using now,"

Don't know about the computer code, but given the number of workers who actually would have private telephone lines, all of the phone numbers he has to memorize are probably single digit.

[Mylo]

"I'm da smartest
most cwever
most physicawally fit.

But nobody seems to reawize it....

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Must be one hell of a course if it has 11 par 3 holes on it.

[Pessimist]

And when he farts, it smells like roses.

[RexBeach]

Yeah, but can he spit into the wind?

[RexBeach]

He also sh*ts ice cream.

[Moose4]

Yeah, and he shoots lightning bolts out of his arse. Well, after a bad batch of hot kimchee, anyway.

}:-)4

[michigander]

And urinates gasoline.

[Exeter]

"...accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played."

You people shouldn't laugh. Do you have any idea how tricky it is to get the ball past that damn windmill for a hole in one?

[jmq]

I know how he got the holes-in-one....

[CFC__VRWC]

You know what the funniest part of this story is? The propagandists at Reuters actually believe it!

[cspackler]

"...accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played."

And you don't want to know what happened to the 7 poor bastards that didn't find the ball in the woods and get it into the hole before he got there...

[Petronski]

ROTFLMAO

[brooklyn dave]

Why aren't these dolls selling like hot cakes at Toys R Us?

[Calvin Locke]

I was expecting Bill Clinton.

[Mr. Jeeves]

The propagandists at Reuters actually believe it!

Oh, I'm sure they are properly skeptical of Kim Jong Il's purported accomplishments. Had it been Fidel Castro, on the other hand... ;)

[Bassfire]

Next we'll hear he can chew rust and spit nails...

[Calvin Locke]

They're not smoking anything. They eat whatever they can find.

If the telephone thing is to be believed, the idea was probably stolen from those "healing" preachers with
the receiver in their ears.

Probably lined up the workers in sequential order, too.

[Red Badger]

The same Kim Jong-il that gets scores 18 holes-in-one when he goes out golfing?

The golf course must look like swiss cheese..................or the dark side of the moon......

[AmericanInTokyo]

"All the attendants were surprised at his incredible memory," the site says.

And if they HADN'T BEEN?????

[FreedomCalls]

Only 11 holes-in-one? HA! I laugh at his pitifulness. He is so puny. I shot 18 holes-in-one on my first ever round of golf, AND on the second and third rounds as well.

[badgerlandjim]

...11 holes in one...

Hell, that nothin' Bill Clinton can't do...

[toddlintown]

"The same Kim Jong-il that gets scores 18 holes-in-one when he goes out golfing?"

C'mon now. Let's not get carried away. It was only 11 holes-in-one.

[ArmstedFragg]

On a day Kim visited a cemetery, he looked around at the tombs and he remembered the achievements, characteristics, tastes and bereaved family members for hundreds of the dead

Easy to do when you're the one who put them there.

[Michael.SF.]

Kim ... shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played.

I understand Bill Clinton beat him by one stroke in that round.

[monday]

This is what happens when the mentally ill are given unlimited power. He would be sad if he weren't so dangerous. He is obviously delusional and most likely a paranoid schizophrenic as well.

Someone needs to kill this maniac soon. At least quit giving him financial aid.

[blau993]

accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played.

Does that mean he has to buy 11 drinks for each person in the clubhouse?

[headsonpikes]

"The memory of a person gets better when a person uses their brain often," he was quoted as saying.

Especially when remembering where your food comes from and remembering who holds the gun.

Those North Koreans must be mnemonic whizzes!

[ApplegateRanch]

"I remember all computer codes and telephones that workers are using now,"

Is that still two shared lines, or is it up to three now?

[Rastus]

It's best to hit Previous 20 and then go to the bottom of the page and work your way up, but however you fancy is fine:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/kim_jong_il__/